Ghosting Sucks

Probably just trying to find a way to avoid an awkward situation/conversation

I'm sure the ladies in this industry are Ghosted a lot more than the clients

Wives find out or attraction is lost or clients just become bored

Find another SP where the intimacy is similar or better and you'll feel better. Make small talk and don't disclose you're on Terb or at most your username on here. Worse case similar to this experience you start to gain some feeling then nicely slide in about some hangout outside without it being transactional and you'll get your answer. Then you can decide if you still wanna see her or not. Or take a break from her or just ghost her fully. You've got options and so do they. 99% of the time it's business and sometimes people do get caught up with whatever nice things she's said to you and you may think it's real or she's falling for you.

The last line ^^ of 'brokenglass' comment. So true. Sometimes people read too much into a compliment. Myself included.

IM469 said:

I was going to join the conversation but I have never attempted to date an SP so I can only limit my comments to ghosting in the general relationship scene.

In my mind there are two types of ghosting -

1) The person has moved on and is more comfortable to close the door behind them and move on. Maybe a little hard if it is the end of a sexual relationship - but I've had no problems when a casual friend drops off the grid.

2) Your friend has agreed to a specific date and when that event is happening - they go silent. No text, no response to phone calls. In the era of text messages - 'sorry family emergency', 'I'm sick', 'my sex change operation was rescheduled' - anything so you are not left hanging. This sadly is a common practice among self centered bitches (SCB) lacking both empathy and a soul. What effort does it take for a text ? This type of ghosting 'sucks' but on the brighter side a SCB who would be a drain on your life is gone.

I had type 2 happen in a particularly bitter way. A waitress that I had known for a while was talking about type of show I enjoyed. She told me that there was one coming up that I wasn't aware. It was in a couple weeks and I offered to take her if she would like to go. We talked about the show a few times before the event. The show was on a Sunday and I had a beautiful friend from out of town the day before who was upset that I wasn't taking her. I told her I had promised someone but if they couldn't make it, I would love to take her. I tried texting the waitress to verify the date and even tried to call but no answer. She could have been busy but I wasn't going to leave her hanging because I had someone else to go with. Day of the event - the waitress ghosted me. Last minute I went to the show alone. It sucked I was ghosted but it really sucked I didn't take my friend.

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sounds like my life.

That waitress you should have texted her 2-3 days prior to the event to follow up if she was still going. If you didn't hear back from her after 24hours then you should have taken it at face value of being ghosted and asked your friend instead of waiting last minute then going alone. Don't wait around like that for people. Yeah people are busy and emergencies can come up but sending a text and voicemail gives them 24h or more to easily get back to you if they are still coming or not. Personally it seemed extremely rude of her even as a friend to not msg you back saying she can't go and even make an excuse. The mindset of waiting to hear back from her or anyone the day of the event and not going with your friend seems silly IMO. I would have asked the other friend and changed plans. Super rare event magically the day of the event the waitress got back to you finally I would have either ghosted her or made an excuse saying I couldn't go to the event due to some family emergency white lie. I don't give people like that the time of day if you follow up a few days before some event/date.

A lot of people are ghosting these days and it's becoming a new norm. Happens in the business world too during interviews. Or they hire someone and the day they are suppose to start they don't show up or give a reason why they quit after 1-2 days. I'm all for ghosting at times when I have no reason to inform someone why and don't care to give some closure, but if people make plans with me and follow up ahead of time I wouldn't just ghost them if I changed my mind. At most I'd white lie then ghost them. Leaving you hanging like that was a shit part on her move. Personally if you didn't hear back from her after a day or two I would have picked the next person in line regardless if they finally magically msg you the day off. Yeah people are busy, but texting a simple reply back takes under 10 seconds out of their day.

I've dealt with this in the dating world too along with friends and I tell people now after some follow up if you don't hear back for a few days just move on.

A good test for the true nature of your relationship with a sex provider is to "forget" to pay her before the session and again when leaving.

She'll soon let you know what the "raison d'être" of your relationship is...

xmontrealer said:

A good test for the true nature of your relationship with a sex provider is to "forget" to pay her before the session and again when leaving.

She'll soon let you know what the "raison d'être" of your relationship is...

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You are playing with dynamite

xmontrealer said:

A good test for the true nature of your relationship with a sex provider is to "forget" to pay her before the session and again when leaving.

She'll soon let you know what the "raison d'être" of your relationship is...

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A good way to get yourself banned and possibly arrested.....

but sure - let's try this to test if a woman you pay for sex is interested in your money.

Jenesis said:

A good way to get yourself banned and possibly arrested.....

but sure - let's try this to test if a woman you pay for sex is interested in your money.

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At no point was I suggesting a guy try that with any provider he hasn't seen regularly for a long time and with whom he thinks the relationship is mutually romantic.

The point in my above post is that, if you really think a sex provider likes you just for being you, and that you have developed what you feel is a real friendship or even romantic relationship, not paying will clear up that misconception real quick.

A couple of times, with the few ladies I saw as long-time regulars, I neglected to pay up front, and because they knew me and were comfortable with me, they didn't ask for the money up front, which is when I usually paid.

Then, being engrossed in conversation, and being a bit of an old coot, I forgot that I hadn't paid as per usual up front, and was obviously forgetting to pay on my way out.

The few times that happened the ladies involved were quick to remind me that I hadn't paid. Actually they were a bit apologetic about it, seeming to not want to offend me by reinforcing the financial nature of our friendly and regular relationship.

Of course I apologized profusely and paid immediately.

A couple of times both of us forgot, and either I remembered when I got to my car, or I got a call from the agency advising of the issue.

If I was still in the parking ,lot, and there was no other guy on his way up, I went right back up, apologized, and paid.

If I wasn't close by, I took care of it by e-transfer to the agency, added on the small agency e-transfer premium involved, and that was that.

No provider, no matter how often I had seen her, ever let it ride until the next session, not would I expect them to.

Also at no point, regardless of how comfortable it seemed we felt in each other's company, how many laughs we had, and how good (I thought at least) the physical part was, I never assumed there was anything more to any of my escort relationships than sex provider /client.

And honestly I don't think there are many clients as consistently respectful to sex providers as me. Which of course I can't prove, but the ladies have often told me that.

In my single, twice-divorced old age, my main loves are my children, my music, my TV, my computer, my New Yorker magazine and Record Collector magazine subscriptions, and the ladies in the sex industry. Reasons to get up each morning.

Oops, I forgot to mention cheeseburgers...

This may or may not apply to the OP, but kindness and generosity should always be acknowledged and rewarded in one way or another, never taken for granted. If you do not have deep pockets find other ways to show gratitude.

"My guess is she doesn’t appreciate that there were some personal conversations & I subconsciously made implications of this being more than just an escort-client thing."

The personal convos probably weren't a big deal to her, but you mentioning whatever you said indicating it being more than an escort-client thing probably is what made her realize to drop you as a client. Women in general even with fuck buddies will drop them if they try to suggest you want more than that if they clearly aren't into you like that. Things get awkward for some people and they lose the desire to even keep it going on even as friends. Tired/sleepy/headache is generally an easy way also to end things so you leave. They don't wanna start an argument and such. At least she was nice enough to text you saying things made her feel uncomfortable. She doesn't need to say why. You probably know what you kinda hinted to her during the last session and she probably felt a bit of guilt or shame or overly awkward that you took a few kind gestures and comments the wrong way when she's getting paid to make certain remarks.

Sa10 said:

But I got a rather confusing text on my way home, where she stated, she didn’t exactly feel comfortable with me that night, but she appreciates my effort to make it work.

Naturally, I worried a little, was caught off guard too, asked her if it was anything I said or did. No response.

I gave it a day’s time & messaged back, asking if she’s feeling better. Nothing, just ghost. On her socials, she seemed to be active again, so I know for a fact, that’s it’s just me. I panicked, thinking wtf did I do !!

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Never double text

Sa10 said:

so I made a long ass list of things that could’ve gone wrong (sent it to her as well )

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definitely don’t ever do this

Sa10 said:

Thanks for all the responses. At first it was embarrassing, but eventually I’m glad I kept the thread. Overall the discourse has been useful imo. I feel a lot better now.

Cause now I’m thinking wtf was the end game here ? & the end game obviously is not something that’s straight forward & pragmatic. So I actually respect her for pulling the plug before more confusion ensued.

I knew posting this wasn’t the best choice. & there’s nothing here that deep down I hadn’t already considered. But I guess subconsciously I knew a bit of hammering will get me thinking with the right parts of the body. So thanks

I will take some time to respond to some replies here later, a little more context might help.

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Hey mate, I feel for you it’s never easy when you start questioning where it all went wrong. The ugly truth about this hobby is that once you let emotions get involved, it gets messy( life is messy). You’re not wrong to enjoy how she made you feeleven to the point you kept thinking about her after the session or that the time together stretched longer than booked. They’re human too, sometimes they just get caught up in the moment.

If you genuinely like her, sure, give it another try—but go in with clear eyes. From experience, emotional investment and money rarely mix well. Still, we’re all chasing something here, and life is short, so there’s no shame in trying.

If we start thinking about the end game in this hobby—what really is it? We pay a beautiful girl to play the role of a girlfriend for an hour or two. Then the session ends, feeling fades, and we return to our real lives.

I’ve felt that pull with a few girls over the years, and yes, money and gifts were always part of it. But in between, I’ve also had moments that were unforgettable, almost unimaginable. The lines may have been blurred, but the feelings in those moments were real enough to leave their mark.

brokenglass said:

That waitress you should have texted her 2-3 days prior to the event to follow up if she was still going. If you didn't hear back from her after 24hours then you should have taken it at face value of being ghosted and asked your friend instead of waiting last minute then going alone. Don't wait around like that for people. ...

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It was supposed to be two friends at an event - nothing more. We talked about the event weeks before and in person a couple days before. I have had friends who are hard to reach 24 hours before a get together - family event, dead batteries - also remember I was calling her to see if I should secure a backup not as part of a plan. I had no idea that the waitress would suddenly ghost me. Hindsight is 20/20. Obviously a better opportunity came up for her and I no longer existed. I had no idea she was a self-centered bitch and that I wouldn't even get courtesy a text. You would text a friend - takes a second - but I didn't exist in this narrow selfish mindset.

It is salt in the wound that I had a more desirable opportunity (ironically maybe the same as her) but I chose to honour my friendship. I don't think I would change and risk hurting someone - it's not an option for me. Even in hindsight - I'm not letting someone alter my basic character.

I only brought up the story because of the thread topic. I have many bumps in life and will probably encounter more. They are in the rearview mirror and I prefer the view looking forward.