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Sa10

Sa10

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Aug 25, 2024
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This past week & a half has been a real downer for me.

there’s an SP, that I thought, I had really good chemistry with. Found myself getting along like friends (with benefits)…. The session didn’t even feel paid for & transactional. Used to go in for a hh, come out 2 hrs later…. Just over a few sessions, & some back & forth texting, got to know each other on a personal level, honestly thought it was going great.

But I guess, it was all in my head. She didn’t feel the same way. She was probably not ok with it….

Cause after a really awkward last session, where whatever we planned to do never happened, & she was tired & sleepy too…. So we decided to call it a night & then try again another day.

still, things seemed alright, most of our time together felt great, there was some making out & cuddling.

But I got a rather confusing text on my way home, where she stated, she didn’t exactly feel comfortable with me that night, but she appreciates my effort to make it work. 🤷🤷

Naturally, I worried a little, was caught off guard too, asked her if it was anything I said or did. No response.

I gave it a day’s time & messaged back, asking if she’s feeling better. Nothing, just ghost. On her socials, she seemed to be active again, so I know for a fact, that’s it’s just me. I panicked, thinking wtf did I do !!

so I made a long ass list of things that could’ve gone wrong (sent it to her as well 🤦‍♀️) My guess is she doesn’t appreciate that there were some personal conversations & I subconsciously made implications of this being more than just an escort-client thing.

but still, I was only really going with the flow, I really didn’t think I was forcing anything. I still don’t. Even told her that once she’s indicated not being comfortable, it doesn’t make sense for me to ask to see her again. So I’m really just asking for some closure. Would be nice to hear back. Maybe even be just friends, cause I really liked our vibe together. Doesn’t feel nice for it to go toast like this. But I’m just an idiot I guess. Maybe in hind sight, me ending up always over staying the “appointment” time was not exactly as mutual as I thought it was.
she probably felt shorted in her business mind ?
🤷‍♀️
Or is she mistaking me for someone else on Terb ? & is confused about something ? Cause she mentioned she’s not that fond of Terb for the things people say here

I didn’t get any response back. Just pure ghosting. I feel so awful, it was a wonderful arrangement, now it’s 💨

It really affected my confidence & my image. & my judgement ( cause the entire week I just made dumb decisions)

The ghosting part, ffs, why am I sitting & thinking about it constant, I feel if there was some dialogue, it would give me some peace of mind. Nothing yet 😞

I deleted her number & unfollowed her socials.

I guess we couldn’t be friends after all. I feel like a clown 🤡

PS- I know she doesn’t owe me anything, & from her pov, this wasn’t a bad move, her reasons are her reasons, no need to explain.
& nope, I haven’t left out any big details to make me look good.
 
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S

southpaw

Well-known member
May 21, 2002
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Sa10 said:
Used to go in for a hh, come out 2 hrs later…. Maybe in hind sight, me ending up always over staying the “appointment” time was not exactly as mutual as I thought it was.
Click to expand...
No shit?
 
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I

iceberglemon

Member
Aug 26, 2025
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Sa10 said:
It really affected my confidence & my image. & my judgement (cause the entire week I just made dumb decisions)
Click to expand...
Feel for ya… but you have to accept that you won’t be getting any closure from the SP. In the long run, the SP breaking it off cold turkey means you’ll both come out of this better. Let time do its thing.

Btw, posting this on TERB might also qualify as a dumb decision, but it could have an educational purpose for others, so… kudos?

Finally, under no circumstances should you mention who this SP is, and no, I’m not pulling some reverse psychology stunt.
 
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X

xmontrealer

(he/him/it)
May 23, 2005
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Sa10 said:
This past week & a half has been a real downer for me.

there’s an SP, that I thought, I had really good chemistry with. Found myself getting along like friends (with benefits)…. The session didn’t even feel paid for & transactional. Used to go in for a hh, come out 2 hrs later…. Just over a few sessions, & some back & forth texting, got to know each other on a personal level, honestly thought it was going great.

But I guess, it was all in my head. She didn’t feel the same way. She was probably not ok with it….

Cause after a really awkward last session, where whatever we planned to do never happened, & she was tired & sleepy too…. So we decided to call it a night & then try again another day.

still, things seemed alright, most of our time together felt great, there was some making out & cuddling.

But I got a rather confusing text on my way home, where she stated, she didn’t exactly feel comfortable with me that night, but she appreciates my effort to make it work. 🤷🤷

Naturally, I worried a little, was caught off guard too, asked her if it was anything I said or did. No response.

I gave it a day’s time & messaged back, asking if she’s feeling better. Nothing, just ghost. On her socials, she seemed to be active again, so I know for a fact, that’s it’s just me. I panicked, thinking wtf did I do !!

so I made a long ass list of things that could’ve gone wrong (sent it to her as well 🤦‍♀️) My guess is she doesn’t appreciate that there were some personal conversations & I subconsciously made implications of this being more than just an escort-client thing.

but still, I was only really going with the flow, I really didn’t think I was forcing anything. I still don’t. Even told her that once she’s indicated not being comfortable, it doesn’t make sense for me to ask to see her again. So I’m really just asking for some closure. Would be nice to hear back. Maybe even be just friends, cause I really liked our vibe together. Doesn’t feel nice for it to go toast like this. But I’m just an idiot I guess. Maybe in hind sight, me ending up always over staying the “appointment” time was not exactly as mutual as I thought it was.
she probably felt shorted in her business mind ?
🤷‍♀️
Or is she mistaking me for someone else on Terb ? & is confused about something ? Cause she mentioned she’s not that fond of Terb for the things people say here

I didn’t get any response back. Just pure ghosting. I feel so awful, it was a wonderful arrangement, now it’s 💨

It really affected my confidence & my image. & my judgement ( cause the entire week I just made dumb decisions)

The ghosting part, ffs, why am I sitting & thinking about it constant, I feel if there was some dialogue, it would give me some peace of mind. Nothing yet 😞

I deleted her number & unfollowed her socials.

I guess we couldn’t be friends after all. I feel like a clown 🤡

PS- I know she doesn’t owe me anything, & from her pov, this wasn’t a bad move, her reasons are her reasons, no need to explain.
& nope, I haven’t left out any big details to make me look good.
Click to expand...
Huge mistake thinking you're anything more to a sex worker than a "John". Huge mistake to develop feelings for her past the pleasure of the sessions.

I assume she was an indie, as agency escorts rarely go past the paid-for session time.

The job of a sex worker is to make you feel you feel special, in and out of bed, assuming they can tolerate you at all, so you will keep booking.

If you make them feel threatened by their perceiving you have feelings for them that may cause you to become a "stalker" to any degree at all, that will likely raise red flags and cause them to ghost you.

In this case the more you try to contact her, the more she'll fear for her safety, or other unpleasant confrontations and complications.

Or, just as we get bored of them and stop booking without explanation, maybe she just no longer has any desire to have sex with you, and the only way to make it clear to you, without going through a whole "break-up" scenario, was by ghosting you. Could be that was the reason for that sub-standard final session, her hoping you would take the hint.

There are lots of escorts in the sea...
 
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Sonic Temple

Sonic Temple

Dreamers learn to steer by the stars
Feb 14, 2020
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Mate - this industry is not for those who get emotional involved. First and foremost - never overstay - when the time is up - GO. Actually - you should be the one paying attention to the time more-so and leaving 5 minute before your session is up. Bottom line - you are too involved, this hobby is for moments in time and not moments for a lifetime. Golden rule - never fall in love, from your post you were heading down that road. She did you a favour mate - learn from this.
 
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Y

YoYoHoward

Well-known member
Oct 3, 2024
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Yeah the time is the time. Fall in love all you want, but when that alarm goes off you’d better remember how you met in the first place.

Even fully indie, with no dick but yours that day, she has plans once you bust.
 
I

iceberglemon

Member
Aug 26, 2025
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xmontrealer said:
Huge mistake thinking you're anything more to a sex worker than a "John". Huge mistake to develop feelings for her past the pleasure of the sessions.

The job of a sex worker is to make you feel you feel special, in and out of bed, assuming they can tolerate you at all, so you will keep booking.

If you make them feel threatened by their perceiving you have feelings for them that may cause you to become a "stalker" to any degree at all, that will likely raise red flags and cause them to ghost you.
Click to expand...
I’m going to provide an alternative reason, one that is less cynical and may provide a bit of comfort to the OP.

It’s possible that the SP was willing to open up with the OP for some/all of the following reasons:
1. The SP felt comfortable with the OP - there was a natural connection, a “vibe”, and the SP was actually ok to some extent with OP going way over time.
2. The SP is a natural “giver” - she might have a tendency to let her guard down and “be herself” when on the job. Some of the best GFEs seem to straddle a very fine line between projecting a persona and mixing in their real selves, their histories, their actual thoughts, desires, fears, etc. They invest themselves emotionally in the moment and it can frankly be intoxicating to the John, even more so than the sex itself.
3. The SP was going through a vulnerable passage - maybe there were personal issues or feelings of loneliness, anxiety, insecurity, etc. - and was looking for a shoulder to lean on. She might actually prefer confiding to a relative stranger, someone who won’t be as quick to judge or presume as friends or family, someone with whom she can present herself as a blank slate, someone who might be a willing, even indulging, listener.

But just as hobbyists should dissociate themselves from SPs after the session, it’s also true for the other side. In general, SPs cannot afford to be emotionally open for too long or too earnestly with their clients. It will wreck them, burn them out, make them unable to differentiate between the fantasy they are tasked to create and their reality.

So OP, maybe your SP realized she was going down a rabbit hole with you, one she might have gone down previously with other clients to no good end. And to actually talk it through with you, to provide “closure”, would serve no purpose but to actually perpetuate the downward spiral, as she’d have to confide to you, continue to bring you into her trust. So think of her ghosting you as an act of self-preservation on her part - in other words, it wasn’t you, it was her.
 
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New Jack

Well-known member
May 8, 2002
340
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Toronto
I can only say one thing - I have said it many times on terb before.
Don’t get involved with the girls. It never ends well. It will you leave you wondering what the hell happened every time.
They are doing a job. They are taking your money. There is nothing but a transaction going on their end.
I can only give this advice to anyone hobbying.
Don’t get to know the girls. Don’t take their phone numbers. Don’t add them on social media. Don’t learn their real names. Don’t get involved with them. Stay away from their lives.
Be nice - sure.
But be transactional yourself.
Have your fun. Pay. Leave.
Anything beyond that does not end well.
Ask yourself - What do you want from them anyway?
What is the end goal of an external relationship with them? There isn’t any.
Keep the relationship what it is - Just a transaction!!!
 
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IM469

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Jul 5, 2012
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I was going to join the conversation but I have never attempted to date an SP so I can only limit my comments to ghosting in the general relationship scene.

In my mind there are two types of ghosting -

1) The person has moved on and is more comfortable to close the door behind them and move on. Maybe a little hard if it is the end of a sexual relationship - but I've had no problems when a casual friend drops off the grid.

2) Your friend has agreed to a specific date and when that event is happening - they go silent. No text, no response to phone calls. In the era of text messages - 'sorry family emergency', 'I'm sick', 'my sex change operation was rescheduled' - anything so you are not left hanging. This sadly is a common practice among self centered bitches (SCB) lacking both empathy and a soul. What effort does it take for a text ? This type of ghosting 'sucks' but on the brighter side a SCB who would be a drain on your life is gone.

I had type 2 happen in a particularly bitter way. A waitress that I had known for a while was talking about type of show I enjoyed. She told me that there was one coming up that I wasn't aware. It was in a couple weeks and I offered to take her if she would like to go. We talked about the show a few times before the event. The show was on a Sunday and I had a beautiful friend from out of town the day before who was upset that I wasn't taking her. I told her I had promised someone but if they couldn't make it, I would love to take her. I tried texting the waitress to verify the date and even tried to call but no answer. She could have been busy but I wasn't going to leave her hanging because I had someone else to go with. Day of the event - the waitress ghosted me. Last minute I went to the show alone. It sucked I was ghosted but it really sucked I didn't take my friend.
 
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brokenglass

Active member
Sep 12, 2025
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Shrug it off and move forward and you'll gain your confidence back. Next time you think someone might be into you like that whether it's a SP or not ask her to hangout doing things outdoors and see what she says and make sure it's not transactional. You'll get your answer quicker then decide if you still wanna see them.
 
lunaseraphim

lunaseraphim

Supporting Member
Jun 8, 2025
23
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3
I think if you booked her for a half hour and she stayed a really long time with you, she definitely liked you and it was mutual. I think honestly it's a blessing that this SP gave you a lot of her time and instead of feeling rejected you should feel lucky! My interpretation of this is that after deep thought, she realized that sharing too much with you and opening the door to a different kind of relationship might cause problems.. Crossing the line between a client & provider relationship to something else can bring issues, specially if she knows you are here communicating with other clients. This isn't because ''you are just a john to her''..

Here are some things that could go wrong in her mind:

-you could share her personal info with other providers or clients
-you could become jealous of her other clients
-if she isn't sure that she wants this to be something beyond a client & provider thing, she could feel pressured to stay with you much longer each time you book her
-if the relationship develops, you could ask her to quit doing sex work and start using the fact she's an escort against her

All of these things have happened to providers I know who became too close to certain clients.. I understand you had a connection, but she doesn't know you
💗

Hope this helped 💝
 
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brokenglass

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Sep 12, 2025
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You staying longer than the appointment time could have been her way to lure you into booking longer sessions or she's lonely and enjoyed filling the void with talk and cuddles. People ghost because once a bit of emotion or something comes into play they realize they don't want you to be their bf/gf. It's the main reason why I've ghosted at times women I was seeing to fuck and vice versa. I rarely give someone a reason before fully ending things. Once they see you're leaning towards wanting to perhaps like start some relationships they don't wanna go back to have you as a client or even fuck buddies typically.
 
lunaseraphim

lunaseraphim

Supporting Member
Jun 8, 2025
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brokenglass said:
You staying longer than the appointment time could have been her way to lure you into booking longer sessions
Click to expand...
I highly doubt that.. I would never stay 2 extra hours with someone who booked me for 30 minutes or even an hour ''in the hopes that he will book me for longer periods of time''.. I've been generous with my time with some clients who booked me for 2-3 hours before, but I knew they would expect it every time I saw them, which created a problem. It never crossed my mind that they would feel interested in booking longer sessions..
 
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brokenglass

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Sep 12, 2025
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Every lady is different and such. I was seeing a SP who I'd book 30mins and at times spent the entire weekend with her. Her financial situation was diff than the norm which I won't go into. As for why she let me hangout with her like that was because she enjoyed my company and convos. She did lean towards wanting to actually date me which she mentioned at times over text but I wasn't interested so I just kept things neutral each hangout. It got to the point where I'd just come over as a friend to hangout and nothing became transactional. We even discussed while I was over for the entire weekend if she had a client wanting to come by I'd leave for an hour and such then return. I didn't care if that happened and she was perfectly fine with me returning back and not paying for her time. But once again her financial situation was diff and she overall seemed lonely plus I wasn't some weirdo.
 
lunaseraphim

lunaseraphim

Supporting Member
Jun 8, 2025
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brokenglass said:
Every lady is different and such. I was seeing a SP who I'd book 30mins and at times spent the entire weekend with her. Her financial situation was diff than the norm which I won't go into. As for why she let me hangout with her like that was because she enjoyed my company and convos. She did lean towards wanting to actually date me which she mentioned at times over text but I wasn't interested so I just kept things neutral each hangout. It got to the point where I'd just come over as a friend to hangout and nothing became transactional. We even discussed while I was over for the entire weekend if she had a client wanting to come by I'd leave for an hour and such then return. I didn't care if that happened and she was perfectly fine with me returning back and not paying for her time. But once again her financial situation was diff and she overall seemed lonely plus I wasn't some weirdo.
Click to expand...
Do you think she would like you talking about this here? We're all human beings and like you said she was lonely. This job is really isolating for some of us.. I've become friends with two or three clients before, but generally this isn't a line I want to cross for various reasons. I'm always afraid that these conversations will go in a certain way.. It's okay for us not to want to hang out with clients off the clock or to regret having done so. These are really unusual situations in the business. Personally, if I choose to cross that line, this client won't be a client to me anymore and I hope he doesn't consider me just a SP he booked once or twice. That person chose to spend time with you for free as a friend because she likes you, that doesn't mean she does it with all of her clients. Once you start hanging out with her for free and not booking her, you are not her client anymore.
 
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brokenglass

Active member
Sep 12, 2025
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I don't talk about her on here as in going into details. She's not even on Terb nor will I disclose what platform she's on or where she is. She seen me as friend who got to spend the entire weekend with her more than once and days during the week at times along with us having sex when we both were in the mood and it was off the clock and became non transactional most times. You mentioned typically SPs won't give clients extra free time which is true and all I'm saying is I see 2 reasons for it. End of the day people are human and some do get lonely and are fine with company off the clock.

And OP also mentioned who he seen is on Terb so yeah that's another reason I can tell why ladies get worried because things can be said on here which would suck for business. Or like he said maybe she seen a post he made that she disagrees with but he doesn't know and that's not someone she would actually date either. Either way OP will move on with time and learn.
 
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Useful Idiot

Useful Idiot

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Nov 6, 2024
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Cowardice/selfishness. I was recently guilty of ghosting a client myself (I have a small business). I like the guy personally, but I do not like doing business with him and I could not think of a diplomatic way of firing him, did not want defend my reasoning or lie to spare his feelings, so I just ignored his messages, did the easy thing. I felt guilty about it, but not enough to be more honorable.
 
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