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Question to SW - We have a mutual civilian friend

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Mandalorian

Mandalorian

My friends call me Mando
Nov 13, 2020
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Just this past weekend I was in Bayshore with the SO doing some Christmas shopping. I saw a MA I’ve had quite a few sessions with. To my shock my wife waved hello to her and said hi. Turns out they both are regulars at the same yoga studio. I almost had a heart attack.
 
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massman

Well-known member
Sep 8, 2001
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Mandalorian said:
Just this past weekend I was in Bayshore with the SO doing some Christmas shopping. I saw a MA I’ve had quite a few sessions with. To my shock my wife waved hello to her and said hi. Turns out they both are regulars at the same yoga studio. I almost had a heart attack.
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😳😳😳
 
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McKenna King

McKenna King

Your Favourite Redhead Next Door
Jul 24, 2024
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Mandalorian said:
Just this past weekend I was in Bayshore with the SO doing some Christmas shopping. I saw a MA I’ve had quite a few sessions with. To my shock my wife waved hello to her and said hi. Turns out they both are regulars at the same yoga studio. I almost had a heart attack.
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lol that’s when you conveniently get distracted and spend 30 minutes in the hot sauce store…
 
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speakercontrols

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Aug 26, 2023
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Meh, I'm waiting for it to happen. One MP I saw a lot we were born in the same hospital, same primary schools, same high school, same dentist, grew up in a close-by neighborhood, same Tim Hortons (I've changed mine), have friends on common organizations and so on...

If it's at a party/get together that we finally see each other, if we can't avoid each other, I'll just introduce my self as a stranger or a friend of a friend that I've met in the past. Neither one of us want to be publicly outed right?
 
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Esquille

New member
Mar 22, 2018
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Happy to see the discussion that has taken place here. It was pretty unlikely for me to reach out to the provider, but it’s probably a hard no for me now. I don’t think I would want to make the provider feel a secret part of her life has been involuntarily discovered, nor would I want to feel like my hobbying activities have a vulnerability.

Sorry gents, but I’m going to be discrete with these providers. They have enough positive reviews on the board, you would have to have been living under a rock to not have thought about seeing them before.

Thank you to the ladies that have responded.

I will drop this nugget of information for anyone reading here though; over the summer, I ran into the illustrious Rada while walking into work. We exchanged pleasantries and she gave me her number. We texted and caught up a little bit and then she disappeared again. I reached out again recently just to see how she’s doing but no response. It was clear from my conversation with her that she has exited the industry for good and wishes to move on from that part of her life. Funnily enough, she did mention that she was getting too old! Part of me wishes I could have another rendezvous with her, but I respect her decision and wish her nothing but the best!
 
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Alison_xox

Alison_xox

Alisonxox
Aug 29, 2017
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Esquille said:
Happy to see the discussion that has taken place here. It was pretty unlikely for me to reach out to the provider, but it’s probably a hard no for me now. I don’t think I would want to make the provider feel a secret part of her life has been involuntarily discovered, nor would I want to feel like my hobbying activities have a vulnerability.

Sorry gents, but I’m going to be discrete with these providers. They have enough positive reviews on the board, you would have to have been living under a rock to not have thought about seeing them before.

Thank you to the ladies that have responded.

I will drop this nugget of information for anyone reading here though; over the summer, I ran into the illustrious Rada while walking into work. We exchanged pleasantries and she gave me her number. We texted and caught up a little bit and then she disappeared again. I reached out again recently just to see how she’s doing but no response. It was clear from my conversation with her that she has exited the industry for good and wishes to move on from that part of her life. Funnily enough, she did mention that she was getting too old! Part of me wishes I could have another rendezvous with her, but I respect her decision and wish her nothing but the best!
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You sound pretty respectful & mature.
I like your vibe and I applaud your resilience after reading all the comments. Even if you can’t meet with her in her “fonctions” , I feel that this thread might bring some new “distractions” your way.
You sound like a gentleman.
Happy hobbying & I hope you find a provider that suits your needs very soon.

Kisses
Ali
 
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YowJon

New member
Mar 2, 2025
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Esquille said:
Happy to see the discussion that has taken place here. It was pretty unlikely for me to reach out to the provider, but it’s probably a hard no for me now. I don’t think I would want to make the provider feel a secret part of her life has been involuntarily discovered, nor would I want to feel like my hobbying activities have a vulnerability.

Sorry gents, but I’m going to be discrete with these providers. They have enough positive reviews on the board, you would have to have been living under a rock to not have thought about seeing them before.

Thank you to the ladies that have responded.

I will drop this nugget of information for anyone reading here though; over the summer, I ran into the illustrious Rada while walking into work. We exchanged pleasantries and she gave me her number. We texted and caught up a little bit and then she disappeared again. I reached out again recently just to see how she’s doing but no response. It was clear from my conversation with her that she has exited the industry for good and wishes to move on from that part of her life. Funnily enough, she did mention that she was getting too old! Part of me wishes I could have another rendezvous with her, but I respect her decision and wish her nothing but the best!
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Rada… still occupies my filthy fantasies. Too Old? I imagine she has only gotten better and more beautiful as she ages.
I would pay anything to see her come back to Ottawa.

One can dream?
 
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braddoyle

New member
Aug 17, 2005
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You know, let’s all admit, we are all likely here under pseudonyms within this community of providers and clients. The instant this world and the civvie world intersect, bad things happen. Not only hurting yourself, but also potentially the provider on the other side. Discretion and anonymity are a fundamental requirement and we really shouldn’t challenge that. Don’t do it…. It’s not worth it. Lots of beauty out there to avail of rather then risking the livelihood of that mutual connection.
 
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SinnamonFairbanks

SinnamonFairbanks

PICTON
Dec 30, 2011
809
188
43
Cobourg, Brighton, Trenton. Belleville, Kingston
In my experience with this it's the potential clients that can't keep their mouth shut. They go blabbing personal details to anyone who will listen.

I think it can work, I think most people understand that they don't want their personal information shared with everyone so they won't do it to others.

Your mutual friends know and they WILL tell her if you start blabbing about it.

I personally wont see people i know because I started hearing the blatant lies being told about me by these people. It's not usually the people I end up seeing that run their mouth it's the people I DONT see. They have some machismo BS about being rejected or something.

I wouldnt start off saying you know them. That comes off as creepy and offputting. The people I have seen that knew me never mentioned they knew me I had to find out once I got there. I knew they never told a soul because I'm still friends with people that would have been angry about it.

Sometimes it gets messy. Sometimes people know me and i dont know them and theyre closer to me than i think (ex: my child's best friends father. A lot of my kids friends... ive been booked by their dads or step dad's. I don't necessarily know them or know anything about them but they know me) they usually disclose to me after and it is what it is. It's not ideal but it will just reject people on the basis that they're too close and it gets too messy.

People talk a lot of crap about me, but it honestly works out to be free advertising. I'd be busy just from all the husband's of the local wives talking shit about me if i saw people in my extended circle 😂

I won't even see people I knew in high-school or old co workers.

I have seen people REALLY close to me that I didn't initially recognize because I barely met them in the first place and I was devastated. It turns out they were cool and didn't tell a soul even to this day. Our kids were besties and they still to this day never told a soul and no one has any idea and I really appreciate that level if discretion.

I don't like my work life and my personal life to overlap. I don't want my kids to be mistreated because of something I've done. So far so good though. People usually treat my kids well and don't mention anything.

Its the people I don't see that run their mouth and make up rumors and all kinds of stuff. Ive heard it all. According to the people is don't see or hang out with I'm every possible stereotype and I just can't be around people like that. Not for money and not in my leisure time.

Esquille said:
I just want to drop this question here, feel free to chime in even if you're not a SW.

I've very sparsely been hobbying since before the pandemic; more a lurker than a participant - rarely indulging in new ladies apart from the ones I've taken a favor to. However, as my once-favorites exit from the industry, I find myself seeking new providers.
Since about the end of the pandemic, I've had the (mis)fortune of discovering mutuals of civilian friends working in the industry. Two in total, one definitely too close for comfort to even think about seeking services with, but the other at somewhat arms length. Normally, I wouldn't think about it, but this particular lady has garnered a notoriously positive reputation as a provider - leading me to always wonder "what if?", and as you would expect, it's a fantasy perhaps wishing to be fulfilled.

Mind you, the one that is too close to comfort, I've had the pleasure of meeting in a social setting, and the other I have not met (yet?), but the likelihood of meeting through mutuals as pretty high.

Now, I'm not married, nor do I have a significant other; so my only risk is having my hobby be discovered.

From the SW's perspective, what do you think of this situation? Do I stay the course and stay away from contacting them as a client? How would you feel encountering a mutual acquaintance/friend as a client in the industry, or perhaps encountering a client from the industry through a mutual friend?
Mutual feigned ignorance to eachother as a SW/hobbiest in a social setting goes without saying...

This is not to say I don't trust the provider to keep their clients confidential, but the mutual friend is very likely to be aware of the provider's extracurricular activities; so perhaps the risk is there, and of course, I understand this goes both ways.
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Esquille

New member
Mar 22, 2018
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SinnamonFairbanks said:
In my experience with this it's the potential clients that can't keep their mouth shut. They go blabbing personal details to anyone who will listen.

I think it can work, I think most people understand that they don't want their personal information shared with everyone so they won't do it to others.

Your mutual friends know and they WILL tell her if you start blabbing about it.

I personally wont see people i know because I started hearing the blatant lies being told about me by these people. It's not usually the people I end up seeing that run their mouth it's the people I DONT see. They have some machismo BS about being rejected or something.

I wouldnt start off saying you know them. That comes off as creepy and offputting. The people I have seen that knew me never mentioned they knew me I had to find out once I got there. I knew they never told a soul because I'm still friends with people that would have been angry about it.

Sometimes it gets messy. Sometimes people know me and i dont know them and theyre closer to me than i think (ex: my child's best friends father. A lot of my kids friends... ive been booked by their dads or step dad's. I don't necessarily know them or know anything about them but they know me) they usually disclose to me after and it is what it is. It's not ideal but it will just reject people on the basis that they're too close and it gets too messy.

People talk a lot of crap about me, but it honestly works out to be free advertising. I'd be busy just from all the husband's of the local wives talking shit about me if i saw people in my extended circle 😂

I won't even see people I knew in high-school or old co workers.

I have seen people REALLY close to me that I didn't initially recognize because I barely met them in the first place and I was devastated. It turns out they were cool and didn't tell a soul even to this day. Our kids were besties and they still to this day never told a soul and no one has any idea and I really appreciate that level if discretion.

I don't like my work life and my personal life to overlap. I don't want my kids to be mistreated because of something I've done. So far so good though. People usually treat my kids well and don't mention anything.

Its the people I don't see that run their mouth and make up rumors and all kinds of stuff. Ive heard it all. According to the people is don't see or hang out with I'm every possible stereotype and I just can't be around people like that. Not for money and not in my leisure time.
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Interesting perspective; having your kid in the mix must definitely add a layer of risk. For the people really close to you, would you say you were devastated because you felt exposed? You're right in that there's more risk to the patron running their mouth than the provider whose business involves discretion.
 
SinnamonFairbanks

SinnamonFairbanks

PICTON
Dec 30, 2011
809
188
43
Cobourg, Brighton, Trenton. Belleville, Kingston
Esquille said:
Interesting perspective; having your kid in the mix must definitely add a layer of risk. For the people really close to you, would you say you were devastated because you felt exposed? You're right in that there's more risk to the patron running their mouth than the provider whose business involves discretion.
Click to expand...
I was devastated because I would always reject clients on the basis that they were too close to me and it was too messy. I didn't want the drama and it wasn't worth the $$.

The guy I saw recently, it felt like he did it to get back at his ex wife. A lot of times it feels like men do it out of spite and some woman I barely know is going to be pissed at me and cause more grief than it's worth.

A lot of really scuzzy guys who hate women would try to book me too, knowing their ex lived in the same neighborhood and someone would see them and report back to the ex. They loved drama and they loved to mistreat women.

I always had a policy that I didn't sh*t where I slept/ate. I'm not an animal and no one in my old neighborhood could say I did them dirty.

I never knowingly slept with someone's partner. I never went out of my way to sleep with someone I knew was in a relationship. I usually found out later. In one instance, I slept with someone's partner before they got together and it was awful, so we're cool. Everyone has a past. I built that one up in my head and I was so excited to do it and it was a total flop. Probably the worst sex of my life 😂 maybe not the worst, but definitely the most disappointing.

It happens. The other aspect, too, is that sometimes people try to extort us with the knowledge that they know us. They threaten to out us to people close to us. If you do have intentions of seeing this person and telling them that, you know them, I would make it clear that you mean them absolutely no harm.

I am honestly triggered by people telling me they know me because of my past experiences being extorted, and this also happened to a friend of mine. Luckily for my friend, we were able to track down, who was extorting her after many hours of online searching. It was just some pathetic loser from her old job who recognized her. She didn't want to date him and rejected his advances, and then years later saw her online and decided he was going to cost her regular job just for simply being an escort he recognized. It was terrible. When we figured out who it was, and we confronted him he was begging us for forgiveness and begging us not to expose him. It's terrible people really think they can say and do whatever they want behind a keyboard. This man was willing to ruin her life ove just existing.

So there's that aspect of it, too.Not everyone has good intentions, and you should just make it clear that your intentions are good
 
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