Most people DON'T WANT RELATIONSHIPS: understanding the decline in romantic relationships..... thoughts?

[Jenesis]

I'm with you 100%. Also, every time you enter a relationship, the odds are highly stacked against you from the get-go that it's going to work out, no matter how good the intentions of both people are or how invested they are into making the relationship work.

You are, more or less, setting yourself up for heartbreak or breaking someone's heart from Day 1.

This is true.

Sometimes you can have the best intentions and you can really think you like/love the person but then something happens.

COVID was a great relationship killer. Families were divided over their views on vaccines and restrictions. No one knew a pandemic would happen. How do you prepare for that? To see if your partner had the same views as you.

Trump was another big one. His election run, presidency terms and even his continued issues, has divided families as well.

You just can’t predict what will happen in the future and the way you feel about your partner may drastically change because you just didn’t know their opinion/feelings on issues that don’t come up in regularly in everyday life.

 

[SchlongConery]

No idea how long the video is, what it really says or if it says anything of importance. How about a brief summary next time.

LOL!

Can we bring you your slippers and a cup of tea also?

It's only a nine minute video. You want someone to take ten minutes to write a summary for you?

To participate in a conversation in a meaningful way you need to watch the video/read the article etc . If not, you are just going to comment on someone else's opinion.

And besides. you might learn something from the video yourself.

Not trying to be a smart ass, just using your post as my comment on this common issue on TERB.

 

[Leimonis]

I watched a little and it seems like total BS.

My observations are that a vast majority of people are scared shitless to be alone and are prepared to give up a lot if not anything to be in a relationship.

if there was any truth to what the video claims we’d have ten or twenty times more people on seeking arrangements

 

[superman12]

I been wondering about this for long time so here is my Q. If you are not an SP/SW where would you get your satisfaction from?
Dating apps?
FWB? I can't see this anymore because it would defeat your idea of drama and communication.
Yearly Weekend stand ? I see it with neighbour
Once a month stand? I seen it with a female co-worker.

I think society has collapse internally in their minds (mentally) because everything is on their palms. Communication is gone it has become "yeah , oh please". Because everything is done by the CELLS. Yes a woman can easily get it but not guys.

I believe the lack of verbal communications is making us zombies.

If your a women who is not an sp there are infinite options out there if you want to get laid. I mean i don't think it would be that difficult for a women to find a man who wants to fuck no matter what she looks like. From apps, hookups, friends, neighbours, co-workers etc. a women just has to make it known she is DTF and I am sure there will be a line up of men eager for the opportunity. For men it might be a bit more difficult to find sex as easily if it wasn't for sw's but I still think we would do ok. Everyone needs sex we are all human after all. There is always masterbation too which it times is just as good as sex lol

 

[Ginomore]

There is too much risk for a man to be in a relationship.
Guy in the video was spitting facts.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

I got the Gilbert O'Sullivans. Theme tune for my life. However. Knowing what I know from Jordan Peterson and youtube it was never in the cards for me. Being the underserving loser I am.
I did have long term relationships where I basically got unwillingly snagged. No sex immediately upon the entrapment and the escape door slammed shut.
Although I'm not an expert obviously, seems to me that if you are in a long term marriage the sex is going to be the first casualty of the relationship.
I am in two long term paid relationships and the sex isn't boring. Probably would have died off quickly if there was some sort of live in, formal commitment.
So as it stands. I get regular horny sex on a regular basis week after week. Not a bad compromise for me. Good for the plumbing in my opinion.

 

[Not getting younger]

Pros and cons to both, like anything in life, there are trade offs. And ultimately comes down to what are you willing to sacrifice….to get…what you want..

19 year marriage. Married for the wrong reasons. Ended badly. Would I trade it? Nope. Mixed in were plenty of good times, my girls, and life experiences. That taught me a lot. About life and myself.

since then, I’ve “done it all”. I’ve had flings, gratuitous sex, virtually all types of hetero, long term relationships and some false starts mistaking lust (flash in the pan romances that burn hot, burn out just as quick) for love. Each phase, each person. Has taught me more about myself.

I often say to newly divorced friends, friend that go through life’s stuff. Find yourself. Because unless and until you do, how can you know what you want out of life……..

will say. When it comes to sex. There are all kinds of flavours. Most I’ve tasted. Can say, unequivocally that sex without intimacy is largely hollow. Flat if you will, lacking depth. nothing wrong with that, it’s fun. Just is what it is.

 

[xix]

If your a women who is not an sp there are infinite options out there if you want to get laid. I mean i don't think it would be that difficult for a women to find a man who wants to fuck no matter what she looks like. From apps, hookups, friends, neighbours, co-workers etc. a women just has to make it known she is DTF and I am sure there will be a line up of men eager for the opportunity. For men it might be a bit more difficult to find sex as easily if it wasn't for sw's but I still think we would do ok. Everyone needs sex we are all human after all. There is always masterbation too which it times is just as good as sex lol

It is not hard for women to find it - sex, the same could be said about a man with money - pay a SP. The problem is the shame they will feel. They don't want to be found out, or meet a co-worker, their own family member or ex-husband family at a bar searching for sex. Women feel shame faster than man and keep it in their head for a LONG time.

I had various female workers ask me if I go to bars, or dating apps, I simply say no, and they test me. Why do they do this? because they are scouting or investigating me to see if I hang somewhere which they don't want to be seen by me or want me there to have fun.

Women know they can hide secrets from MEN, but once in a while they meet a Lone Wolf or Sigma and that is when their Illusion world problems start to crumble flat. Some women have learned to dance around that.

Men some people have not really met people uh ? must be that cell phone.

 

[John_Jacob]

Can we bring you your slippers and a cup of tea also?
Earl Grey, make it snappy.

It's only a nine minute video. You want someone to take ten minutes to write a summary for you?
Nine minutes is a long time when you have shit to do. IF the OP wants to engage people, one would expect that he would write a summary of what he's trying to say and point out. Otherwise, it's a waste of time.

To participate in a conversation in a meaningful way you need to watch the video/read the article etc . If not, you are just going to comment on someone else's opinion.
ALL of this shit is "someone else's opinion", just because it's a video of something doesn't make it fact nor true. IF the OP wanted engagement, a short summary is required. This could be some shit MAGA video for all I know.

And besides. you might learn something from the video yourself.
The internet is a firehose of endless learning and one needs to discriminate on how they're going to spend their time. A link to a video is not compelling for me. If it works for you, good for you.

Not trying to be a smart ass, just using your post as my comment on this common issue on TERB.
It may be common sense on TERB where the average age seems to be >60s and, honestly, seems to be semi-literate so ya, on TERB it may make sense to you. However, for other social media sites just a link to a video is a red-flag for a low-effort waste of time.

The summary appears to be,
"This guy seems to be another one of those incel enabling hacks on social media. He basically says that men look for sex in a relationship and women for money. That is his definition of a relationship. A transactional arrangement where sex is exchanged for resources. Nonsense. He goes on to use that premise to make the conclusion that the reasons more people are single is because men are watching too much porn and women are obsessed with social media. So trite and unintellectual. "

Yes, glad I didn't have to waste 10 minutes of my life to find out this low-level basic commentary. Thanks @Kautilya!

 

[Not getting younger]

I had various female workers ask me if I go to bars, or dating apps, I simply say no, and they test me. Why do they do this? because they are scouting or investigating me to see if I hang somewhere which they don't want to be seen by me or want me there to have fun.

Or maybe they aren’t satisfied with their sex lives. And are asking male friends /co-workers what such things are really like, to get a guys perspective before jumping in with both feet? And it has nothing to do with you?
Always different ways to look at the same thing.

But let’s say, said woman is embarrassed to go to known hook up bars. Because she knows most guys are going to ogle her, and make assumptions. Maybe she’s there, hoping to meet a guy that could lead to a LTR and not just a one night stand……..Reality is, with busy lives, careers, old school methods…..How many guys really carry Rupe she’s wondering…and so on.

With respect to the topic.
life is different. Far more stresses/strains on relationships these days. Especially financial.

People are different. Have realized they don’t have to stay in one if they aren’t happy. Wonderful thing about freedom and personal choice…

But also, I suspect while it was true in my day to a degree, it’s more prevalent now. People are sold a mirage. By society and “marketing”

people see all kinds of friends/acquaintances living these wonderful fake lives on FB, Twitter, Insta…meanwhile one sons a druggy, their husband is cheating or gambling away their savings, the boss is a tyrant, but they are trapped in the rat race, their best friend just got some shitty news from the Dr.

Go into into work Monday . Hey “Jane”
/Bob how was the weekend. Slap on a shit eating grin, saying it was wonderful. You should see my pics on FB with my “BF”. Instead of just being honest and saying it sucked.

In short, their lives aren’t as picture perfect as what they see everyone posting. = unhappy with where they are. Meanwhile everyone are just Bozos on the bus. (Actual quote from a good book on it)

 

[Y_Diner]

Can we bring you your slippers and a cup of tea also?
Earl Grey, make it snappy.

It's only a nine minute video. You want someone to take ten minutes to write a summary for you?
Nine minutes is a long time when you have shit to do. IF the OP wants to engage people, one would expect that he would write a summary of what he's trying to say and point out. Otherwise, it's a waste of time.

To participate in a conversation in a meaningful way you need to watch the video/read the article etc . If not, you are just going to comment on someone else's opinion.
ALL of this shit is "someone else's opinion", just because it's a video of something doesn't make it fact nor true. IF the OP wanted engagement, a short summary is required. This could be some shit MAGA video for all I know.

And besides. you might learn something from the video yourself.
The internet is a firehose of endless learning and one needs to discriminate on how they're going to spend their time. A link to a video is not compelling for me. If it works for you, good for you.

Not trying to be a smart ass, just using your post as my comment on this common issue on TERB.
It may be common sense on TERB where the average age seems to be >60s and, honestly, seems to be semi-literate so ya, on TERB it may make sense to you. However, for other social media sites just a link to a video is a red-flag for a low-effort waste of time.

The summary appears to be,
"This guy seems to be another one of those incel enabling hacks on social media. He basically says that men look for sex in a relationship and women for money. That is his definition of a relationship. A transactional arrangement where sex is exchanged for resources. Nonsense. He goes on to use that premise to make the conclusion that the reasons more people are single is because men are watching too much porn and women are obsessed with social media. So trite and unintellectual. "

Yes, glad I didn't have to waste 10 minutes of my life to find out this low-level basic commentary. Thanks @Kautilya!

Just for arguments sake, ever see a pretty girl with a poor, or less affluent man than herself?
Men want women, women want security.

Millions of years of evolution.

 

[John_Jacob]

Just for arguments sake, ever see a pretty girl with a poor, or less affluent man than herself?
Men want women, women want security.

Millions of years of evolution.

...and that is a good summary of the video apparently. 2 seconds of reading versus 10 minutes of watching...self promotion I assume.

 

[jeff2]

Not sure if divorce is as costly anymore for women as they believe but otherwise this article looks good.
Keep in mind that a lot of these articles focus on professionals, but even lower down, most unionized jobs in the 1970s were men in factories, today it is women in government offices.

Why women choose divorce: An evolutionary perspective

In Western dual-educated, male-female marriages, women who divorce face greater burdens because of decreased income and primary or sole responsibility…

www.sciencedirect.com

 

[Valcazar]

Did not watch the video but I have no desire to be in a relationship.

I have friends for dinners, movies, travel, fishing, etc.

Those ARE relationships though.

This idea that the only thing that counts as a "relationship" is long-term dating or marriage is a problem, I think.
It makes people expect too much of romantic/sexual partners and has people not respect these other important relationships they have.

 

[Valcazar]

He basically says that men look for sex in a relationship and women for money. That is his definition of a relationship. A transactional arrangement where sex is exchanged for resources. Nonsense.

Glad I didn't bother watching.

 

[John_Jacob]

In related news..... Perhaps lack of relationships is a result in a reduced level of trust in society.

 

[Y_Diner]

In related news..... Perhaps lack of relationships is a result in a reduced level of trust in society.

View attachment 244063

Sounds about right.
Add Social media into the mix, and hookups just a few swipes away on your phone…

 

[John_Jacob]

Sounds about right.
Add Social media into the mix, and hookups just a few swipes away on your phone…

...and with hookups relatively easy, why bother working through any minor hiccups in the initial relationship that may led to an actual 'relationship'.

 

[Y_Diner]

...and with hookups relatively easy, why bother working through any minor hiccups in the initial relationship that may led to an actual 'relationship'.

Well that’s the tell take sign if you both truly love each other and want to work to make it work.
Very very very rare these days.
I heard something very wise once from a female friend and never forgotten:
It’s not happy wife happy life,
it’s happy spouse happy house.

 

[oil&gas]

A dildo…..

Won't you prefer a gigolo? I mean one of Richard Gere's calibre.