Services - When, How Discussed

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joedrake

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Sep 26, 2020
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There has been a number of posts on Twitter regarding services and the particulars that surround when to discuss, who should initiate the conversation and what to do when there is miscommunication.
This is not the situation where a provider says I do X only not to provide X. Rather, this is the part that gets up to where the provider says I do X.

One example was between a provider and a potential client. Client paid a deposit and then learned a specific activity would not be offered. He asked for deposit to be returned and was refused. He was not happy. The provider posted his angry texts.

Another example was a post discussing whether it should be the client's sole responsibly to initiate a conversation about services, and if they don't, they should not complain about the services offered.

A related example was a provider posting that PSE does to mean greek. She would not say what services she would provide only that she was a PSE provider. Apparently, clients saw PSE to indicate that greek was available, when it was not. She became frustrated. This was a breakdown in communication as to what services she provided, not to mention the problematic use of the term PSE, as discussed in an early thread.

Some providers explicitly set out in their ad/website what services they provide and don't provide. Now, even those providers will likely have clients who want something off menu, so to speak - not many providers list they will do a roman on someone... Other providers do not list their specific services in their ads. There are many valid and legitimate reasons for this, and such decision deserves to be respected.

That said, it is fair to say that knowing what is and what is not available is critical to an enjoyable session. The question is then when and how should this information be conveyed.

What are your thoughts?
When should a discussion about services take place? In the initial text/email? Leading up to booking? After booking (after deposit if one is required)? Not until session time?
Who should initiate? Client? Provider? Both responsible?
What to do when there is a miscommunication, primarily if a deposit is involved.

Providers - what are your thoughts on when/how to describe your services?
 
B

BiiigMac

What are your thoughts?
When should a discussion about services take place? In the initial text/email? Leading up to booking? After booking (after deposit if one is required)? Not until session time?
Who should initiate? Client? Provider? Both responsible?
What to do when there is a miscommunication, primarily if a deposit is involved.
Great questions

I think there needs to be a balance in between both the client and provider in terms of what's offered vs what's expected.

The client should be clear and open on what they're looking for before booking because at the end of the day, there's no point sending money without at least having a verbal commitment on what's going to happen.

Providers can also probe client's requests and be more specific on what they offer. (i.e. GFE: is the client looking for LFK or DFK?) Another thing I've come to find out is some providers will limit what they offer depending on hh or h bookings. There was this one time where I had a provider tell me no cg for hh appointments. I never thought to ask because I thought FS meant exactly that, but clearly everyone has different opinions on it.

All that to say this: everyone can't know everything the other person is looking for, especially in this game where discretion is important. While clients needs to be more assertive and open, providers also need to be more empathetic and direct because every client isn't a seasoned customer. That's for communication.

When it comes to money, it's the one part of the transaction where the SP has all the power and leverage. I've seen enough posts where as soon as the money is given, all the details that were discussed are all of the sudden off the table. But then what? like @S416905 said, there's no complaint line, no manager to complain to, so no way to get your money back. And as long as this game remains underground, there will be no protection for clients losing money, nor any recourse.

The money part all depends on the SP and how they want to manager their business. I think we all see the wisdom in someone playing a long game (instead of taking someone's money now, there's a way that person will voluntarily give money, frequently, and over time, depending on the service). Unfortunately, some choose the short game and we as clients really just have to take that on the chin and move on to someone else who will hopefully be more professional.
 
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Prettyyy.Princess

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Aug 9, 2022
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There has been a number of posts on Twitter regarding services and the particulars that surround when to discuss, who should initiate the conversation and what to do when there is miscommunication.
This is not the situation where a provider says I do X only not to provide X. Rather, this is the part that gets up to where the provider says I do X.

One example was between a provider and a potential client. Client paid a deposit and then learned a specific activity would not be offered. He asked for deposit to be returned and was refused. He was not happy. The provider posted his angry texts.

Another example was a post discussing whether it should be the client's sole responsibly to initiate a conversation about services, and if they don't, they should not complain about the services offered.

A related example was a provider posting that PSE does to mean greek. She would not say what services she would provide only that she was a PSE provider. Apparently, clients saw PSE to indicate that greek was available, when it was not. She became frustrated. This was a breakdown in communication as to what services she provided, not to mention the problematic use of the term PSE, as discussed in an early thread.

Some providers explicitly set out in their ad/website what services they provide and don't provide. Now, even those providers will likely have clients who want something off menu, so to speak - not many providers list they will do a roman on someone... Other providers do not list their specific services in their ads. There are many valid and legitimate reasons for this, and such decision deserves to be respected.

That said, it is fair to say that knowing what is and what is not available is critical to an enjoyable session. The question is then when and how should this information be conveyed.

What are your thoughts?
When should a discussion about services take place? In the initial text/email? Leading up to booking? After booking (after deposit if one is required)? Not until session time?
Who should initiate? Client? Provider? Both responsible?
What to do when there is a miscommunication, primarily if a deposit is involved.

Providers - what are your thoughts on when/how to describe your services?
hey hey, I’m a provider here.
when I get time later today I will definitely give my 2 sense on this topic.
(I’m Ottawa based)
 

Selfishslutxxx

Penny Swallows, The Blowjob Queen👑
Nov 27, 2020
34
109
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Ottawa
From a provider point of view:

Ideally the discussion starts in the initial texts. "Hi, saw your ad, what are the services you're providing?". I then send a detailed menu of what's available and what's a no-no from the start. If they are looking for something that's not specified in the menu we discuss it before making the appointment. As a rule I only provide extras/off menu services to my regular customers.

Not sure why discussing the included services would be an issue for any providers, assuming you're not trying to waste their time with unnecessary questions.
Just be straight forward, a lot of the times we truly appreciate getting straight to the point (politely!).
 

Willywonkhonk

Well-known member
Jul 12, 2022
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For asking about provided services..? I'm sure that's not the case.
Like i said, as long as you're polite and not wasting time with unnecessary questions i don't see how that would be an issue to any provider.
Some women don’t share their services for safety. They just share the baseline.

Say stuff like “hey babe yes I offer fs gfe or gfe”

When I ask them to clarify they don’t. They just say FS GFE (but no bare) so bbbj is a no go. But then sometimes when they say FS GFE (but no bare) they do include bbbj. So it gets confusing… but I hear what you’re saying… I guess I as a client just have to talk to the provider and if they don’t I simply move on… right?
 

Selfishslutxxx

Penny Swallows, The Blowjob Queen👑
Nov 27, 2020
34
109
33
Ottawa
Some women don’t share their services for safety. They just share the baseline.

Say stuff like “hey babe yes I offer fs gfe or gfe”

When I ask them to clarify they don’t. They just say FS GFE (but no bare) so bbbj is a no go. But then sometimes when they say FS GFE (but no bare) they do include bbbj. So it gets confusing… but I hear what you’re saying… I guess I as a client just have to talk to the provider and if they don’t I simply move on… right?
I'd be worried you might be getting scammed, if they don't want to tell you what's included..?

Bbfs is rather frowned upon, and i doubt any providers actually offer it. It's better not to ask for it. I kinda treat that question as a red flag, tbh.
 
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slobbyist

Not well-known member 😂
Aug 11, 2022
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For asking about provided services..? I'm sure that's not the case.
Like i said, as long as you're polite and not wasting time with unnecessary questions i don't see how that would be an issue to any provider.
Not sure what to tell you but people are simply blocked and shamed by simply asking for services and restrictions.

Read the replies from the sellers and the buyers 😂
 

lundunguy

Aging younger
Oct 9, 2022
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One of the SP (don’t like to mention names) got offended when I asked her in the email what I like.
She said I am too detailed and am micromanaging the act.
 
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Sinfulmarv

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
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There are two kinds of escorts.

There are escorts that are open about the services they are willing to provide and there are escorts that prefer obscurity. Those that are open will be upfront through their ad or website, and will generally respond to reasonable inquiries. The latter on the other hand have no interest in negotiating services with you. They want to set the terms of the engagement and control its delivery from end to end. They often style themselves as high end, providing some undefined “experience” and balk at the idea of a menu.

If there is something specific you want out of the experience, best to ask them before committing to any booking, much less a deposit.
 

Nesbot

Well-known member
Jan 25, 2016
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@Sinfulmarv summed it up well. The experience appeals to some because it ads the unknown element. Defined get together appeals to others if you have predefined desires.

A good example is fetish. If you have a particular fetish in my mind and can’t get an answer on if that’s available it can be problematic.
 

joedrake

Just someone living the life!
Sep 26, 2020
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May I ask, why safety concerns when stating the provided services especially if you know what you do and don’t?
One safety issue involves the US
For those women who live in, or those who travel to, the US, escorting is illegal. So, even mentioning specific acts could bring unwanted attention. For those ladies who travel from here to there, they can be stopped at the border (land or airport) if they are suspected of escorting. So the ladies who travel from here always extremely careful in what they say about their service so as not to draw the attention of the authorities.

I'm sure there are more issues but it's late and I can't think of any others at the moment
 

gibarian

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2019
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@Sinfulmarv summed it up well. The experience appeals to some because it ads the unknown element. Defined get together appeals to others if you have predefined desires.

A good example is fetish. If you have a particular fetish in my mind and can’t get an answer on if that’s available it can be problematic.
I think clients for whom the unknown element is additive would be a vanishingly small niche (honestly, that sounds like a borderline fetish in itself). The much larger group simply consists of well-adjusted, easygoing people for whom the performance of one or two specific acts does not make or break the success of a session.

May I ask, why safety concerns when stating the provided services especially if you know what you do and don’t?
One possible issue is that extenuating circumstances may prevent a provider from wishing to follow through with something they previously stated they provide. Eg. a provider tells a client they do DFK and BBBJ and then the client shows up with foul hygiene. Or a provider offers anal and someone shows up with a cartoonishly huge cock they forget to mention. For some providers it seems that setting expectations regarding specific activities is best left until they can actually meet a client, scope them out, and get a fuller view of all the relevant details.
 

Taraparker

Active member
Dec 30, 2018
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The original question can’t really be answered because every providers comfort level in discussing services is different, so it’s hard to say when the best time or if it should even be discussed at all. I guess scope out their ads/website to get an idea. If they doesn’t want to discuss then that’s up to you if you want to respect their boundaries and still want inquire without asking.

Personally, I dont discuss explicit services anymore, I prefer not to pre-consent specific activities to someone I haven’t met yet. Ever since I posted that I don’t talk about services on my website, I can count on one hand how many people have asked me, so there hasn’t really been many issues and nobody’s precious time is wasted.

Gibarian gave some pretty good examples. Chemistry and comfort are important too!
 

Sinfulmarv

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
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Escorts are service providers, and people will naturally want to know what services are provided. Clients come to this with some expectations. This is evidenced by the fact that every escort routinely gets inquires for specific acts.

The idea that escorts refuse inquires because they may encounter people with poor hygiene is a copout. A hairstylist does not refuse inquires because someone might show up with lice. You are either open to providing BBBJ or you’re not. If a client shows up with smegma build up or open sores, it should be a given that they are likely to be refused service.

You might want to frame this as some tactical decision and downplay its impact. But the truth is the “I don’t discuss services” practice is self-serving. It removes negotiation of services out of the equation in favour of the escort, and it gives those with many restrictions cover, allowing them to pick up business they otherwise may not have. A small wonder that some escorts on Twitter gaslight people for making inquiries.

I can see that there are benefits to the practice. But as a perspective client, why go in blind when there are providers that are straightforward?
 

Willie Layer

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Oct 21, 2021
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i find providers who are comfortable with her business and are in it for the long game are very comfortable discusssing services, rates and restrictions. It also eliminates the time wasters. I always apologize for the potential rudeness but ask that simple question to get the ball rolling and not waste both our times. The vast majority will reply with a prepared cut and paste blurb (which tells me how often they get this question) and we go from there. The very small minority (like maybe once every 9 months) who responds with an extreme overreaction are usually on some weird high horse and not worth replying to.
 
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