Anybody else hobby while in a "happy" marriage
- Thread starter GrillMeister
- Start date
Is someone who hits the strip joint considered cheating?... whether he sits at a table and keeps his hands to himself, or does go to the back room for dances?
My Friends would tell there wives that we were going to the strip club and blame it on me being single and needing to get out.
It was always their idea. Funny enough one wife would screw him hard a couple of times. Then say sure go and watch the girls now hun, have fun!
I just like watching sports, ladies and sometimes getting dances. In the old days if the Blue Jays won a playoff series the shooter girl would straddle you and give a free shot.
As for being cheating depends on what you are doing there and what you tell the wife.
It was always their idea. Funny enough one wife would screw him hard a couple of times. Then say sure go and watch the girls now hun, have fun!
I just like watching sports, ladies and sometimes getting dances. In the old days if the Blue Jays won a playoff series the shooter girl would straddle you and give a free shot.
As for being cheating depends on what you are doing there and what you tell the wife.
My buddy's wife does not give blowjobs (she thinks it's demeaning)... that's how he rationalized cheating! LOL
This topic has come up, only about a zillion times. 50% of the guys in here are married or otherwise attached. Of course it's fucking cheating. Many guys make a conscious choice to cheat in the context of a no strings business transaction, rather than deal with the entanglements and greater risk to huurt their spouse / family posed by a "civilian affair". For some of these guys it allows them to be "happy" in what otherwise would be a very unhappy marriage - that would inevitably end i. Divorce, hurting family etc.
And some guys just chase tail. Some guys aren't turned on by their wife. Some guys want to try out fantasies that their wife won't consider.
So "happy" has many definitions here, all relative. As I've said before to those guys moralizing about this, be careful as you live in a glass house too.
And some guys just chase tail. Some guys aren't turned on by their wife. Some guys want to try out fantasies that their wife won't consider.
So "happy" has many definitions here, all relative. As I've said before to those guys moralizing about this, be careful as you live in a glass house too.
Yea... still makes sense. If I love a certain type of music, am I forbidden to listen to another genre? Does it mean I never really loved my fav genre? Now that sounds silly, so why apply it to women? As long as you are very careful and discreet, the risk is minimal in terms of blowing up the marriage. I've been hitched for 30 years..... never divorced. After so many years, it is the comfort and familiarity and shared life, eating , talking, travelling, that bond us.... not the sex.
My sentiments exactly, there are so many aspects of ourselves we have to share and the belief that one magical person can satisfy all of them is a fantasy in my personal experience / opinion. That doesn't mean one special person can't satisfy MOST of them and thus bring you happiness while you obtain fulfillment from others for the slack.
I'm very happily married. I don't see SPs, instead we enjoy FMF threesomes and recently several foursomes with another couple we've known for years. I mean having her and her friend giving me a BJ at the same time, followed by doggy with my wife while the two are in 69 is more than enough to keep me from seeing SPs. These adventures fuel our sex life, making sex when it's just the two of us that much hotter. I know we may be the exception to the rule, but we know quite a few couples who enjoy the lifestyle as well.
I thought I was in a happy marriage but nothing is perfect. My wife has everything going for her physically, emotionally, intellectually, etc. I'm happy that she's my wife, i'm happy to introduce her to new people, she's fucking sexy in a dress (and in sweat pants, too!) Her downfall? The vanilla sex. She's just NOT that into the kind of bbbj i pay for. She's just NOT into dato, greek, anal digits, etc. I, on the other hand, wish I could just go to town on her O for dinner every night but she's just not down. She's stacked but she's just NOT into any kind of russian. She also doesn't like to swallow/facials. Now, with all that being said, she loves me and she tries. She'll get turned on and wet and i'll tell her i want to taste her ass or whatever seems right in the moment and she pretends to be down but when it happens she's very quick to politely, respectfully, and lovingly cut me off early. Same thing with the bbbj... yeah, she'll do it, but she doesn't do it with the kind of enthusiasm my favourite SPs will. Greek? Under the best of circumstances she will allow me to struggle to get it in and we will only ever give up lol So, I mean, she says she wants to taste my cum but then she makes me cum inside her or at best on her tits. Right? Now this girl is beautiful, she's an incredible partner, she's hilarious, i don't want to be with anyone else, knowing all this i still wanted to marry her, i still want to grow old with her, but i've realized that i'm a pervert who is addicted to the endless novelty of fantasy sexcapades with incredibly hot women. On the one hand it's marvelous, glorious, it can deliver the highest of highs, it almost doesn't even matter i'm paying for it. But my wife won't deliver all the goods, maybe it's unrealistic to expect it. But I'm addicted to some PSE shit that my wife just isn't interested in. And so here I am, chiming in. I obviously take absolutely every precaution to ensure i don't get caught. Balance. I'm self employed and own my business, a physical building with many employees so it's easy for me to "escape" as i'm on the road a lot, do sales, have appointments, have an office/factory, etc etc I can be away from home for 9-10 hours uninterrupted and have the luxury of taking a 2-hr lunch without anyone calling to find out where I am. So, i mean, i feel like i can manage as long as i don't get greedy and keep my shit at home in check. But, I'm young and i'm sure some of you guys have stories
I think we all have our own reasons for hobbying, all valid (well, as much as a hobbying excuse can be valid). I think it makes ALL of us bastards, married and unmarried alike; because we always know that the SP we're going to see could have a pimp, could be addicted to drugs, could be a slave, but we do it anyway.
As for my marriage, I'm happy. She's a wonderful and beautiful human being, inside and out. When we have sex, it's mind blowing - better than most things I get from an SP by orders of magnitude. Her sex drive is lower than mine, and there's certain things she doesn't like to do, which I respect, but I won't be blaming those things on why I hobby. No, I like what tripping walker said right above me here and it's something I've been saying on this board for years: "i've realized that i'm a pervert who is addicted to the endless novelty of fantasy sexcapades with incredibly hot women."
I'm an addict
I have no other real vices in my life. Don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. I just pay random strangers to fuck me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I know it's an addiction because the urge and the need builds on me slowly until I reach a sort of event horizon where it's literally all I can think of and I'M GOING TO BOOK A SESSION TODAY NO MATTER WHAT DAMMIT. And I sit on Terb and BP basically just hitting the refresh button until someone good enough posts and I book. She doesn't have to be the best, but as long as she has all of her teeth I'm pretty well down.
It's a real problem... one that I'm not willing to fix yet. Or ever?
As for my marriage, I'm happy. She's a wonderful and beautiful human being, inside and out. When we have sex, it's mind blowing - better than most things I get from an SP by orders of magnitude. Her sex drive is lower than mine, and there's certain things she doesn't like to do, which I respect, but I won't be blaming those things on why I hobby. No, I like what tripping walker said right above me here and it's something I've been saying on this board for years: "i've realized that i'm a pervert who is addicted to the endless novelty of fantasy sexcapades with incredibly hot women."
I'm an addict
I have no other real vices in my life. Don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. I just pay random strangers to fuck me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I know it's an addiction because the urge and the need builds on me slowly until I reach a sort of event horizon where it's literally all I can think of and I'M GOING TO BOOK A SESSION TODAY NO MATTER WHAT DAMMIT. And I sit on Terb and BP basically just hitting the refresh button until someone good enough posts and I book. She doesn't have to be the best, but as long as she has all of her teeth I'm pretty well down.
It's a real problem... one that I'm not willing to fix yet. Or ever?
Let me throw a wrench here, is it cheating if you see SP not to have sex. You just wanted to see a hot spinner for the fun of it.
If my partner would even consider this option I'd be done seeing SPs/MPs tomorrow. My range of desires is far too broad to be satisfied by a timid sexual mindset, hence I hobby but now keep my shit inaccessible except for HJs (no extras). It is the best balance I can strike at the moment: being a Sex Addict / pervert versus monogamy. By keeping it to HJs my partner is at virtually zero risk for contracting anything, and I can enjoy a wide variety of female shapes and sizes for some excitement I don't get at home. I'm basically doing "Lap Dance +". Wish I could do more (i.e. FS, BBJs, etc.), but I just can't roll the dice anymore after being stupid at the beginning of the year and luckily getting a clean bill of health.
I tried Sexaholics Anonymous briefly and while it was a very welcoming environment, the religious aspects of the 12-step program creep me the fuck out and I don't believe that I can't exert some control over myself / take responsibility for my actions...
I was referring to the philosophy of MGTOW.
Watch his YouTube video if you're unclear.
Quoted for truth, only the big difference is that men generally want to just have sex with other women and stay married.
Women will leave their husband / boyfriend / partner if a better deal comes along.
Women are constantly analyzing and reanalyzing their relationship. You can be married for 20 years and if a better man (in her eyes) comes along, you'll be down the road. You may not know it, or see it, or believe it, but your woman is constantly scrutinizing you and if she thinks that she'd be better off with Joe, you're days are numbered. The only problem (for her) is that Joe probably doesn't want her. Men will fuck around, but they won't leave. Women, when they fuck around have already left.
Interesting.
I think we are Brothers from a different mother.
Vanilla sex is all well and good, but all the time bores the fucking shit out of me. My partner is great in all respects, but she's not one tenth as adventurous as me or what I need. She's down with bbbj with swallow and pretty good, and she never says no, but I need some very kinky shit and she is just not up for it. She knows that I need more, and she tries to accommodate with some mild stuff (like toys, some really mild bdsm, porn) but I can tell she's not into it and she's just going through the motions to please me. It's contrived and a bit of a buzz kill. And frankly, me always asking for it feels like begging and that's a drag too. She would love nothing more than to have a very traditional Ward and June Cleaver sex life period and to me, Jesus, I am just not intrigued. I'm not 19 years old any more and just the thought of a girl who is willing to touch my cock is sufficient enough. I guess we both try as best we can to give the other what we need. I just wish that it was genuine on her part.
Sigh
Then why did you get married and not dump her for someone you were more compatible with sexually? I've had stunning looking GFs in the past, but some were so lame in the sack that I quickly moved on. There's no way I'd marry a woman and settle for a life of vanilla sex, then have to pay regularly to get my fix.
I know, kinda strange saying that in a forum like this. lol
