Huh, I'll have to look into it- I would seriously be interested in pursuing that. Dating coach is insufficient, though- focusing on the date smacks too much of pick up artist to me. But focusing on the sex is just as wrong. I didn't realize sex surrogacy was a real thing- I'm off to dig around the Internet for it.
I have to let this out. I have too much pride to talk to anyone in my civie life.
- Thread starter Spacealien2
- Start date
So true.
The hobby is a stress reliever, but not a substitute for a LTR. Although many guys are happy just dating or hobbying (including women and even SPs) in the meantime, to make life interesting or fun. Why do my married friends say I'm lucky?
Hey guys, thanks for the support!
I tried the internet dating thing. It's only fat chicks who talk to me. Like, what the fuck, I'm too good for that.
And I do love myself. It's just this curse that gets me.
And yes.. I have friends... I have tried the neckbeard thing. I. can't. stand. them. Fuck. Ironically I just moved in with the most attractive girl I met in the group. No I'm not fucking her, I don't find her sexually appealing at this moment. It's past the infatuation stage.
Btw, I'm not ever going into a long term relationship or marriage. I don't see the point (I'm atheist) of sticking to the same person after being bored with her anyway. I was just frustrated that I couldn't find anyone that I could have a connection with.
I tried the internet dating thing. It's only fat chicks who talk to me. Like, what the fuck, I'm too good for that.
And I do love myself. It's just this curse that gets me.
And yes.. I have friends... I have tried the neckbeard thing. I. can't. stand. them. Fuck. Ironically I just moved in with the most attractive girl I met in the group. No I'm not fucking her, I don't find her sexually appealing at this moment. It's past the infatuation stage.
Btw, I'm not ever going into a long term relationship or marriage. I don't see the point (I'm atheist) of sticking to the same person after being bored with her anyway. I was just frustrated that I couldn't find anyone that I could have a connection with.
This pin points my problem. I took a personality test and I was INTJ, it said that relationships are our Archilles heels because we expect people to be logical and our inabilities to flirt.
Here's an example. I never ever tell a girl that her hair is amazing and so on. Because 1) it is obvious, 2) she must have been hearing the same thing all day already and so 3) it makes no difference if I say the same thing again. It is just unnecessary to do so.
This could be part of your problem...I say this without knowing you and totally without judgement. Most real women are looking for relationship...a commitment. My experience in the dating sites was that 90% were looking for a life partner. I am with an SO who is non demanding and we spend weekends together for sex and companionship. I kinda lucked out with her. I had to lower my standards a little...she's not a 25 year old hottie but she is intelligent and is pretty good in the sack. It leaves me free in the week to indulge myself with SPs who fulfill my needs for hot young women.
Agree, always believe in yourself and in time you will find someone who believes with you.
Start with fake believing if you must. Your outward projection will improve.
If you are only attracting online fatties maybe you are not the catch you think you are.
Sorry but it seems to me dudes want a playboy model when they themselves are nothing remarkable. The nice thing though is thst even a less than hunky dude can still sell himself in other ways.
If you dont want marriage or relationship that's totally cool just dont expect many girls to go along with it.
Maybe you are better off with a divorced cougar with kids. She might be down for the occasional no strings attached sex.
It sounds like you also identified some of your weakness but you rationalize it and dont want to do anything about it. Women like complements and made to feel special. If that seems illogical to you too bad.
I am sure you have plenty of illogical behaviour too.
Sorry i am not trying to be mean but you need to hear some blunt things that your friends might shy away from.
Past lack of success doesn't mean you should quit. But repeating the same crap will probably get you the same results. Stsrt with small changes.
Sorry but it seems to me dudes want a playboy model when they themselves are nothing remarkable. The nice thing though is thst even a less than hunky dude can still sell himself in other ways.
If you dont want marriage or relationship that's totally cool just dont expect many girls to go along with it.
Maybe you are better off with a divorced cougar with kids. She might be down for the occasional no strings attached sex.
It sounds like you also identified some of your weakness but you rationalize it and dont want to do anything about it. Women like complements and made to feel special. If that seems illogical to you too bad.
I am sure you have plenty of illogical behaviour too.
Sorry i am not trying to be mean but you need to hear some blunt things that your friends might shy away from.
Past lack of success doesn't mean you should quit. But repeating the same crap will probably get you the same results. Stsrt with small changes.
I wish I had a like button.
But I was re-reading my personality analysis and I decided that I should keep hobbying.
LMAO. I don't quite suffer the same fate nor do I crave solitude (I very much enjoy meeting people and socializing) but I know what you feel like. People just seem to like talking to me. I hate to break it to you, but some people just send out a friendly vibe. You got it.
There's a girl out there for you who feels the same way. But here's the secret. She might feel that way about life in general. No superfluous conversation. Logic and reason prevails. BUT that's not how she feels about her lover. She wants to be flattered and flirted with. And guess what, when you fall in love, you will want to do the same.
If the OP or anyone actually believes that, then it becomes self-fulfilling. Everyone has something to offer, but no one is going to buy it if it's packaged in a self-loathing, pitiful shell.
This is true to certain extent. Teenage girls can be the cruelest breed there is if you aren't in the right social circles. Many times 20-somethings can be the same way. The older they get, the less shallow they become though. Us men on the other hand remain shallow to the end of our days! :biggrin1:
At some point in my twenties I just decided I didn't give a fuck. If you're just looking for the sex, see an SP. If you want a relationship, who cares if that woman who gave you a disgusted look for asking turned you down? You wouldn't want to be in a relationship with that anyway. Rejection only hurts when it's from someone worth it. Once you come to that realization it's much easier to put yourself out there. You might be surprised at the response.
I definitely get the "never been loved" feeling. When it comes to me, I don't usually open up to anyone. Oddly enough, this is especially true for people I actually care about. Somewhat impedes my relationships.... Regardless, how can you feel truly loved if no one ever knows who you are?
I have convinced myself that the solution is a poly relationship! But as a single man, the chance of that happening is really, really low.
Hey, if you're gonna pray for a loaf of bread why not pray for an entire grocery store!
LMAO.
Well, according to Stephen Hawking, there could be multi-universes where SpaceAlien2 is a stud or porno star, or even happily married with 6 kids.
The ultimate relationship: friendship, companionship, love, lust, sex. All together with the same person.
Many of us can't find that person that will give us all of that at the same time, or that will last a lifetime for those who are married or quasi-married.
The next best thing is to get the missing attribute separately from different persons if you're unable to find everything in one person.
Sex is where the SP comes in. It can be mechanical, I agree, but I've told SP's in the past that she's my girlfriend for an hour, and try to treat her that way. There is no expectation or obligation that she reciprocate, but your own effort usually merits some in return.
Meanwhile, you can appreciate someone else's company, even if sex won't ever happen for whatever reason. But you'll have to get your rocks off somewhere else.
That's what keeps me satisfied..... or at least sane.
Many of us can't find that person that will give us all of that at the same time, or that will last a lifetime for those who are married or quasi-married.
The next best thing is to get the missing attribute separately from different persons if you're unable to find everything in one person.
Sex is where the SP comes in. It can be mechanical, I agree, but I've told SP's in the past that she's my girlfriend for an hour, and try to treat her that way. There is no expectation or obligation that she reciprocate, but your own effort usually merits some in return.
Meanwhile, you can appreciate someone else's company, even if sex won't ever happen for whatever reason. But you'll have to get your rocks off somewhere else.
That's what keeps me satisfied..... or at least sane.
