Is my friend in trouble??

[theycallmebruce]

So here is the lowdown:
- friend meets girl in China
- they have a long distance relationship, on and off, for past 5 years
- she asks him to marry her so she can come to Canada
- he declines but is willing to have her come to Canada and live with him, at his expense, provided she
finds her own way here.
- she applies for student visa and will be starting university course this summer
- they will be living together but she has set a "no sex" condition since he won't commit to her
- sleeping arrangements will be separate rooms
- while she is in Canada, he will be paying all of her living expenses

So is my friend screwed ????

bruce

 

[Asterix]

So here is the lowdown:
- friend meets girl in China
- they have a long distance relationship, on and off, for past 5 years
- she asks him to marry her so she can come to Canada
- he declines but is willing to have her come to Canada and live with him, at his expense, provided she
finds her own way here.
- she applies for student visa and will be starting university course this summer
- they will be living together but she has set a "no sex" condition since he won't commit to her
- sleeping arrangements will be separate rooms
- while she is in Canada, he will be paying all of her living expenses

So is my friend screwed ????

bruce

I would say more like being screwed. Without the sex I mean.

 

[Brill]

None of your business, I'd say.

Sounds like they both agreed to this, I don't see a problem.

 

[randygirl]

None of your business, I'd say.

Sounds like they both agreed to this, I don't see a problem.

Exactly. What works for you may be different than what works for him. She hasn't pulled the wool over his eyes, so what is the problem with their arrangement?

 

[theycallmebruce]

Exactly. What works for you may be different than what works for him. She hasn't pulled the wool over his eyes, so what is the problem with their arrangement?

For the record, I have not encouraged or discouraged him. Being a good friend, he has asked for some advice and I have tried to be constructive with my answers, weighing both the pros and the cons.
bruce

 

[mac]

So is my friend screwed ????

don't know if he is screwed or not but he sure does sound like an idiot.

 

[amber-jade]

don't know if he is screwed or not but he sure does sound like an idiot.

...+1...

 

[freestuff]

So he's paying for everything and getting no sex? He must as well get married. Ha. Seriously, what's his deal? He likes the girl so he's willing to pay for her but he's not ready to commit? BTW who is paying for her tuition?

 

[pc0mo]

...+1...

+1

Why is he covering all her expenses if he cant commit to her ?

something is messed that he would sponser her and not commit .

 

[Garrett]

3178604So is my friend screwed ????

Yes. There is no upside for him. He has no negotiating power. She has used sex as a bargaining tool, and he has accepted that (never a good thing).

If he is smart he would rescind the offer.

 

[herames]

is she cooking for him .. vice versa?!

 

[Starsearcher]

Sounds like she's going to use his moronic kindness till she finds another guy to marry her into Canada. I was made an offer to marry a chick who would have been my sex slave to live here! Hindsight is 20/20 lol

 

[OddSox]

Are you sure this is the _whole_ story?

 

[james t kirk]

Don't know how he could be screwed, but he sure is stupid.

Most chicks I know put out by the second or third date.

 

[Aardvark154]

Bruce, the critical issue for your friend is whether this woman is merely trying to use him to get into Canada.

You say that she asked him to marry her so that she could come to Canada, however, this was after they had a five year long "on and off" relationship.

The issue boils down to was this her version of "fish or cut bait" OR "hey sap I want to immigrate to Canada", not knowing anything other than the length of the relationship I tend toward the former, but may be completely wrong.

Will your friend "fall for her": again is that because they are spending more time together and they truly fall in love, or is it that the honey pot is sending out fantastic odors?

For you, as for parents and siblings, the bottom line is that although your friend may later say you did indeed try to tell me. At present, when someone is in love and family or friends attempt to dissuade, all that will happen is that your friend will “rally to the flag” - you are trashing on their girlfriend and who on earth likes that?

 

[danmand]

Canadian immigration allows you to bring somebody in on a fiance-visa. Mabe that would be an alternative for your friend.

 

[Aardvark154]

Canadian immigration allows you to bring somebody in on a fiance-visa. Mabe that would be an alternative for your friend.

Danmand and Bruce,

Unless that was very recently changed (within the last four months) I regret that Canada does not issue Fianceé Visas (although in the past it has). Spouses only, or else come on another visa marry in Canada and attempt to prove that there was no intent to deceive and hopefully "adjust status".

 

[Moraff]

Good points already made but I will toss in one more. If they are cohabitating, after 12 months Canada Revenue will consider them to be common-law regardless of whether she is putting out or not......

 

[afterhours]

don't know if he is screwed or not but he sure does sound like an idiot.

+1
tell him to memorise your phone number because he will end up sexually assaulting her and when they arrest him and take away his cell phone he would only be able to call those prospective sureties whose numbers he remember

 

[out4fun]

I hope he at least installed a camera in her bedroom.