Met an SP who literally just wants to be Friends. Is this weird?

fnog9

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Nov 13, 2006
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Niagara Falls
HELLO!!!! Weird shit always seems to happen to me, and I was wondering how weird this experience is. The reaction from terb will tell me how out of the ordinary this was. I met an SP. She seemed to LOVE me. I mean LOOOOOOOVE me in every way. At least at first. From the start she told me how nice I am and how hot I am, she wasn't expecting such a hot guy, or such an amazing guy, how it was such a treat to meet someone like me. I figured she was just saying all that stuff as part of her job.

She said don't even worry about the time, I have all night, we can just go till whenever. Then we had sex and she was like, oh my God, you are so amazing at sex I can't even believe it. She said she wants to get together with me off work, we can go to a pool and take photos at another hotel after our appointment. I was like, "holy cro, I gues I am awesome". She came three times within a fairly short time frame. Unless she was faking that too, but her pussy was pretty contracted and wet, I don't think she was faking.

But after she came those 3 times, it was like she lost all interest in sex. I didn't notice this until later when I put the pieces together. At first she just said she needed a break cause she came so much, and she started watching tv. Fine, I didn't care. She said she was going to be with me for more than an hour anyway, I don't mind just watching tv for a bit. She told me we'll definitely have one more round before the appointment ends. As we watched, she still ranted about how awesome I am and how much she looks forward to seeing me as a friend outside work. But she didn't seem interested in doing anything sexually related, even though she was still on the clock. If you don't want to bang, fine, but there are other things we can do. Let me feel you up or something. But she didn't seem interested. Still, I didn't care bc she said she was going to be with me for a long time.

She told me sh really wants to see me outside of work, but not know me intimately, just see me as a friend. Well, she just watched tv for almost a half hour, half our time, and with 5 minutes still left in the appointment, she suddenly says she has to go! The promised final round of sex never came. I didn't say anything, but in my head I was like, "WTF!?!??!!!!! At first you told me you were going to be with me for more than an hour and now you're leaving before the hour is even up!?!?? And without even making me cum ONCE!!!?? And on top of that, we didn't even do anything sexual in our off time!?!?" I was freaking inside. But I didn't say anything bc she seemed so nice. To add a final insult to injury, she asked for another $20 on top of the listed price for her driver or something, but I at least had the nads to say no to that. For a moment I thought it was all a ruse, all a fake, she faked everything she said just so she could have an easy appointment without having to do much of anything at all. I would have never condoned her tv watching while on the clock, if I knew she was going to leave early, and not hold true on her word to stay with me for a long time.

After she suddenly told me she has to leave, I thought for certain she was going to bolt out the door without taking me to this promised pool party of hers. But no, that's not the case, I actually did go with her to the pool at the other hotel. Even though she didn't seem interested in sex at all, and she ended our appointment a little early, apparently the part of being friends WAS actually sincere in some way. But we didn't do anything sexual at the other hotel, we just held each other a little bit once in a while. In the end, she came back to my hotel room, and we slept together and just talked and cuddled and didn't do anything sexual..... although she did hint that we would do something sexual, and how horny she was, it never happened. I consoled her and held her, as she was really upset this night about something, or maybe it was just the emotional effect of being crazy drunk and alcoholism / drugism. It was so weird, she wasn't getting any money out of me. She just genuinely seemed interested in being my friend and genuinely NOT interested in anything sexual with me. Or like she was interested in leading me on to expect sex.... but not putting out just so she could hang out with me. I could see if money was involved you could say I just got hustled, but I only paid her for one hour and nothing else. Even still, I'm kinda really pissed about paying for that one hour bc it was more like 15 minutes of sp action. I felt totally rejected as a client, but welcomed as a "friend"..... which is absolutely not what I was looking for in the first place.

The morning after she was still intent on getting together very soon to see a movie or something, and meet her other friends. It wasn't a ruse, we actually made plans. Again, she told me she isn't interested in seeing me again as a client, but wants to be my friend... seemingly a lot. So people, how messed up is this? I find it to be crazy weird. Especially since she seemed to enjoy my penis so much.

I mean, I've heard from a lot of girls tell me they just want to be friends, but I NEVER though I would hear an sp tell me she just wants to be friends.
 
I don't want to make any quick judgements, but from her behaviour she seems to either be on coke or heroin, or just mentally unstable.
 
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Maybe you just clicked with a bit of a flaky chic....:o
 
I met the same type of girl inside a massage parlor called CP1 in Bangkok. I had to refuse her request to hang with me after her work because I had two girls already in my hotel room. LOL True story!

Gyaos.
 
That is the weirdest thing I have ever heard. I know that some guys try to befriend the girl so they can get free sex but never heard of a girl trying to befriend a guy and never wanting him to pay for sex again. So on one hand, she rips you off and on the other, she's giving up all possible future revenue with you. It's so damn bizarre. Maybe she's on something.
 
It's unusual, but so what?
Ask yourself if you had a good time and if you'd like to see her again.
 
Hell, when I go see an SP and pay, I expect to have sex. I damn well expect some service from her!!!

If I want a girl as just a friend, can do that outside the hobby.
 
Ahh the falling in love with the SP thread again.

It is not uncommon fo SP's to develop feelings for their clients and visa versa. In my experience that signals death for your relationship with her as an SP. Why? Because most people do get involved, and when you get involved things like "I wonder who she's fucking today" or "How many men did she fuck today before we had coffee" start to enter you mind.

Some people are able to keep them separate, but once you get to know your SP on a personal level, feelings and emotions start to take over. It isn't a failing, I mean, you just had sex with a beautiful women who now says she wants to hang out with you. Who wouldn't say yes to that? But then boy/girl things start to come up that resemble more of a relationship than that of an SP or than that of a friend, and that messes up things when you go and see her. She may be thinking "Who else has he seen?", and if you have seen someone she detests in the industry, or a competitor, she may get jealous.

I have met some wonderful SP's over the years and we have gone out for coffee and concerts and dinner etc. all off the clock, but all of them didn't work out at the girlfriend level. If anything, those who have left the industry, wanted a clean break, and didn't want any residual "baggage" from the industry, including those they have met along the way.

I am still friends with these ladies, some retired, others still in it, but it's not like Pretty Woman, Sometimes it's just about getting off (for both of you). Being a client for a while and hearing the intimate stories of these ladies, a recurring theme is that all of them wish they could get out, and they were all very sad, about being in the industry and trapped by their own vices (as in drug addiction and money problems). I guess it's just a matter of live and learn. You'll figure it out. But best of luck, I hope it works out well for you.
 
Ahh the falling in love with the SP thread again.

It is not uncommon fo SP's to develop feelings for their clients and visa versa. In my experience that signals death for your relationship with her as an SP. Why? Because most people do get involved, and when you get involved things like "I wonder who she's fucking today" or "How many men did she fuck today before we had coffee" start to enter you mind.

Some people are able to keep them separate, but once you get to know your SP on a personal level, feelings and emotions start to take over. It isn't a failing, I mean, you just had sex with a beautiful women who now says she wants to hang out with you. Who wouldn't say yes to that? But then boy/girl things start to come up that resemble more of a relationship than that of an SP or than that of a friend, and that messes up things when you go and see her. She may be thinking "Who else has he seen?", and if you have seen someone she detests in the industry, or a competitor, she may get jealous.

I have met some wonderful SP's over the years and we have gone out for coffee and concerts and dinner etc. all off the clock, but all of them didn't work out at the girlfriend level. If anything, those who have left the industry, wanted a clean break, and didn't want any residual "baggage" from the industry, including those they have met along the way.

I am still friends with these ladies, some retired, others still in it, but it's not like Pretty Woman, Sometimes it's just about getting off (for both of you). Being a client for a while and hearing the intimate stories of these ladies, a recurring theme is that all of them wish they could get out, and they were all very sad, about being in the industry and trapped by their own vices (as in drug addiction and money problems). I guess it's just a matter of live and learn. You'll figure it out. But best of luck, I hope it works out well for you.

I think you've misread the thread. She isn't looking for a romantic relationship. She didn't fall in love with him. She just wants to be his friend (with no benefits -- i.e. no sex). To me, it's weird. I mean she barely knows him, probably doesn't have anything in common (at least she couldn't have figured it out so fast) and yet she wants to his friend. :confused:
 
I don't think it is weird to be friends with SPs or wanting to be friends with SPs or SPs wanting to be friends with you! Nevermind the mind games...they are very interesting, REAL, people!

Yeah, they're real people. And doesn't it take some time for real people to figure out if they want to be friends? Have something in common? It would be like you wanting to be friends with the guy behind the counter serving you breakfast. You've never met him until today, you chit chat for a few minutes while he gets your order and then you tell him that you want to hang out after work. Weird, right?
 
Ahh the falling in love with the SP thread again.

It is not uncommon fo SP's to develop feelings for their clients and visa versa. In my experience that signals death for your relationship with her as an SP. Why? Because most people do get involved, and when you get involved things like "I wonder who she's fucking today" or "How many men did she fuck today before we had coffee" start to enter you mind.

Some people are able to keep them separate, but once you get to know your SP on a personal level, feelings and emotions start to take over. It isn't a failing, I mean, you just had sex with a beautiful women who now says she wants to hang out with you. Who wouldn't say yes to that? But then boy/girl things start to come up that resemble more of a relationship than that of an SP or than that of a friend, and that messes up things when you go and see her. She may be thinking "Who else has he seen?", and if you have seen someone she detests in the industry, or a competitor, she may get jealous.

I have met some wonderful SP's over the years and we have gone out for coffee and concerts and dinner etc. all off the clock, but all of them didn't work out at the girlfriend level. If anything, those who have left the industry, wanted a clean break, and didn't want any residual "baggage" from the industry, including those they have met along the way.

I am still friends with these ladies, some retired, others still in it, but it's not like Pretty Woman, Sometimes it's just about getting off (for both of you). Being a client for a while and hearing the intimate stories of these ladies, a recurring theme is that all of them wish they could get out, and they were all very sad, about being in the industry and trapped by their own vices (as in drug addiction and money problems). I guess it's just a matter of live and learn. You'll figure it out. But best of luck, I hope it works out well for you.

BTW don't tell Ben that Pretty Woman doesn't exist. He'll stuff your headless corpse next to Russian Monica's in his mother's basement freezer. :D
 
Actually not the same thing at all! I have never sat at a counter naked ordering my breakfast asking a guy to be friends with me while my cock is rock hard! Additionally I don't find guys all that attractive!
Furthermore it starts as a physical attraction with an SP (them not us)! And the thing you have in common is what you are both there for!

Its not all that wierd, SPs have one common trait, they are very perceptive and able to read people. She must realize she could trust in the OP. Some women have problems relating to other women in a friendship situation because they feel they can't trust women (call it catty?).

Maybe she was starved for a male friend that doesn't just see her as a sexual object. Of course there was one thing that didn't make sense. Why did she want to watch TV if she wanted friendship because you would think she would enjoy talking to her new found friend.

As I get older i'm finding I not only want sex (still important though) but also want to make an intellectual connection, whats to say that the SPs don't want the same. I will admit that given the situation is right I would befriend an SP. They are real people too so friendship could be great, even friends with benefits can work. While they are still escorting, I don't think its possible to be romantically involved for jeolousy reasons (both ways).
 
I don't to make any quick judgements, but from her behaviour she seems to either be on coke or heroin, or just mentally unstable.

She was VERY mentally unstable, I didn't even talk about that in the first post, and I won't go in to detail, but yes she was about as emotionally unstable as you can get. And also drunk as hell. And she did say she does or did coke, but I don't know if she was on it at the time. One minute she was upset, then she'd turn happy and I thought everything was ok.... but then she'd flip again. Not flip at me, I was just there consoling her.

The weird thing is though, this sp has a lot of reviews, she is very highly regarded, and I have never read anything bad about her. That's why I booked her, thanks to terb. This is why I was about as shocked as I could possibly be at the way the appointment turned out. No one has said ANYTHING like the things I am saying about this sp. The drugs, the alcohol, the poor service. Nothing like that, not at all. I am picky as hell about who I book with and this one was touted to be just what I am looking for. I guess I'll have to be even more picky when booking and talk directly to the girl herself about the meeting. If that's not cool, then I'll just look for someone else who it is cool with.

I would never mention this sp's name though. I wouldn't bad mouth the girl bc we're friends now, and I don't want any harm to come to her. I guess I'm just pissed and disappointed about the appointment. Everything that happened in this appointment is like almost every bad thing that people have to say about poor SP service.

= Came late, left early, was drunk, high, emotionally unstable, not really in to the sex, and was even a bit manipulative as she tried to get more money, and led me on. Only thing that could have made it worse was if she smelled bad. Oh, the sex for the few minutes it lasted was good though, that's the only good thing.

That is the weirdest thing I have ever heard. I know that some guys try to befriend the girl so they can get free sex but never heard of a girl trying to befriend a guy and never wanting him to pay for sex again. So on one hand, she rips you off and on the other, she's giving up all possible future revenue with you. It's so damn bizarre. Maybe she's on something.

THANK YOU!!!!! Yes, it is weird. It actually hurt my feelings, but I didn't realize it until the whole night was finished. See, bc most of the night I was with her, I was like, "wow, an sp wants to hang with me! I am the man! This is going to be great and I'm going to have so much fun exploring our bodies together". But then when the whole thing was over, I was like, you know what???? In about 16 hours I with an SP I got less than 15 minutes of what I was looking for and a lot of the night I was trying to make HER feel good. That's fine, I don't mind helping someone if I can.... but I would feel a lot better about myself if at least for my professional appointment she tended to me.... and then didn't cut off any future possibility of making up for the short appt! So the reason it hurt my feelings is bc I get rejected by a lot by women, and they say the just want to be friends. So that's why I call sp's!!!! I assume no chance of rejection, and certainly not the "I just like you as a friend" line. So to have an sp tell me she just wants to be friends and sort of reject sex?.... it is messing with my emotions!!!! It's like the universe doesn't want me to have sex! It's CRAZY!!! I can hardly believe it. If my past self read this story 2 days ago, I wouldn't have believed a single word! I would have said it's impossible Really? Seriously, universe? I can't even pay for it now?

Well, we'll see how our friendship turns out. Maybe I misunderstood what she meant by friendship, I don't know. I'm going to talk to her about this when we meet again. I won't go posting what we talk about though. I just posted this thread to vent and see what people say.

Ahh the falling in love with the SP thread again.
It is not uncommon fo SP's to develop feelings for their clients and visa versa.

But is it uncommon if the sp isn't interested in sex with the client?.... EVEN DURING THE PAID APPOINTMENT!!!!??? And she didn't fall in love with me, she just wants to hang around me. I guess she thinks I am a good guy, maybe a good influence. Yeah, I know what you mean about emotions getting messed up when dating sp's. My emotions are already messed up actually. If she means friends like just talking and stuff, I don't think I could do it. My feelings are already hurt cause she rejected my sex. Not entirely rejected, but to a large part rejected.

Maybe she was starved for a male friend that doesn't just see her as a sexual object.

Not in my case. I made no effort to give her the impression that I was looking for something other than sex. I'm not the one who brought up being friends, she did.

Ah well. I also have a feeling that as soon as her high is worn down, she will probably forget about me and I have a feeling I'll never hear from her again. We'll see. I'm just upset and confused about how this has turned out. If I simply had a bad appointment, I would be disappointed but not emotional. But all this friend stuff combined with a poor appointment is just really weird and has messed with my head. Also, I have a feeling she might not even have any idea that I am dissatisfied about the appointment part of our meeting. I think she might have been too drunk to even know, or care, or I'm really not sure what she was thinking. She was after all, very unstable and claiming to be having a very bad day. Maybe if I say anything, she'd be like "what??? I had no idea you didn't think I did a good job." I don't know.

Hanging out with her was fun. Yes I would do it again...... just the strange appointment part of this has messed me up. If the appointment was good, I wouldn't be messed up at all, I'd probably be gloating. But the weird combination of events has confused and saddened me. :(
 
My best female friend is an SP. It's how me, and 2 years into the business relationship, she said, "HOF, you need to make a decision" Decision was easy and we're very close friends.
 
Call me second / third guessing but this is how I see it anyway .......

"Mentally / emotionally unstable" = NO NO.

Call me selfish and cruel but sorry I cannot live with carrying this type of baggage - the deeper the "friendship" gets the more sh1t you'll hear and get dragged into.

My advice is: short term pain for long term gain, get out while you can!

You may think she wants a "male friend" not "boyfriend", but (call me second guessing here) is it possible she doesn't want to scare you off right away by mentioning the words "sex" and "relationship"?

Or maybe she is using this "friendship" as a starting point to test the water (both for you and for herself), and slowly reels you in as the "friendship" develops?

If you suddenly find out your "friendship" becomes "relationship" (as perceived by her), you are already stuck deep in the quicksand, very difficult to get out.

I agree with what winstar said:
..... hearing the intimate stories of these ladies, a recurring theme is that all of them wish they could get out, and they were all very sad, about being in the industry and trapped by their own vices.

I can see it may be very hard for SPs to develop a "normal" relationship with men outside the business (time, privacy issue etc). It is also likely we the clients are the "men" that most SPs get to know well, maybe confide with (both ways), and even seen "as a way out".

The problem I see is that, if a relationship does develop between an SP and a client, will the woman ever trust the man, who used to be involved in an activity (our "hobby") the society associates with "infidelity" or "unfaithfulness"?

Will she ever feel secure, particularly having been on the other side of this "unfaithful" business?
 
I would be 2x as cautious.

How do you know you're not being played ($) in some way?
 
There was one time that I went to see a SP. After the hour, we just started talking and then fucked and this fucking and talking went on for 5 hours. She was at a turning point. trying to deciede to leave the bizz or not. I guess she was giving me a close out SPECIAL. I told her that I had to go home to feed my dog after 5 hours. I can only guess that she needed someone to be with because she may have been depressed. You never know with depressed people, they may turn out to be stalkers or get klingy.
 
I would be 2x as cautious.

How do you know you're not being played ($) in some way?

Well, other than my willingness to pay her for an hour, I did not throw any money around at all. I paid a cheap price for a motel room. We didn't even buy any food. I told her I don't work much and don't have a lot of money to throw around. And since I didn't give her even small amounts of money she rq'd on a couple of occasions, she must know right there that I'm pretty cheap. My car is obviously cheap too, we took a ride in it. She knows I don't even have my own place. What a catch right? Now you're all thinking, "oh, no wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend".

Thanks for your advice ya'll. I will proceed with caution. She might hurt my feelings, but probably not take advantage of my wallet. That sucker is damn tight. Basically, I'll see her a couple times. If she is the same as our last date for two more dates, with the instability and withholding sex, then I'll just explain why our relationship won't work.

I feel bad for the girl though. I can see why sp's would have a hard time with what most people call "normal relationships". When I'm with a girl, I want her to like that I like her body. But with her when I complimented her body, I got this sense that she was thinking, "yeah? and? I know you like it, I should be charging you more." And as I've said, she doesn't seem to care much for sex... for more than 5 minutes anyway. Unless I caught her on the worst night of her life. Because as I've said, other posters here have said this sp is basically a nympho and that is not what I got at all. Terb, I have to say, in this case, you steered me very wrong, as far as the appointment was concerned. I hope our friendship turns out well.