The mystery of hobbying

S

snowleopard

Sexus Perplexus
Feb 15, 2004
2,158
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0
Wandering the peaks
Lately, I've been wondering about why this hobby seems to have me trapped in it's spell -- or is it a hex? Why I can't seem to quit. I'm beginning to believe that it may simply be the human tendency to be irresistibly attracted to mystery. By mystery, I guess I mean why do we crave it? Beyond uncontrollable horniness, which, after all, can be relieved in other ways, it seems the deeper I become involved, I realize that it may be the mysterious allure of having sex with a total stranger, wondering what awaits behind the next door, discovering another body and soul for the first time, recreating the climax of the chase, the challenge of transcending your last experience, not really knowing how it will play out.

Could it be just the sheer mystery of it that attracts us?
 
I agree

The incredible mystery of seeing the naked body of someone new..

I love it.
 
Frankly, I think it is the ease in which we can partake is the reason so many are partaking these days.

Back in the day you'd have to go through quite a few bait and switches before finding someone halfway decent. Now? We have terb and the net.

If it was far riskier, and far costlier, I think there's be a lot less involved.

Now getting to the more personal aspect, back in the day if we wanted to get laid we'd either have to cruise the bars, buy lots of drinks, spend a lot of time and effort and then maybe just MAYBE we'd get some action. Now? Just pick up the phone and a hottie's there for in an hour.
 
I don't hobby frequently - maybe a few times per year - but when I think about it I find it's usually in response to something else that's going on in my life. Not just the ever-present horniness but other factors. Perhaps it's job stress, or maybe the end of a relationship (I don't hobby when I'm "involved") or just plain loneliness. I think it's less about sexual gratification than it is about making meaningful contact, even if that contact is make-believe.

There's also an edge to it that one doesn't get when involved in a relationship, especially when it's with an unknown lady. There's this slight but real element of anticipation and nervousness which I think alludes to Snowleopard's phrase, "not really knowing how it will play out."

It's different at home than while travelling, too. When travelling, hobbying is all about simply having fun. But at home, hobbying feels more like filling a void.

Kinda sad, really...
 
tboy said:
Frankly, I think it is the ease in which we can partake is the reason so many are partaking these days.

Back in the day you'd have to go through quite a few bait and switches before finding someone halfway decent. Now? We have terb and the net.

If it was far riskier, and far costlier, I think there's be a lot less involved.

Now getting to the more personal aspect, back in the day if we wanted to get laid we'd either have to cruise the bars, buy lots of drinks, spend a lot of time and effort and then maybe just MAYBE we'd get some action. Now? Just pick up the phone and a hottie's there for in an hour.
Click to expand...
I suppsoe you could be right T-boy. It could just come down to plain old practical dollars and cents, and time considerations, as opposed to some unnecessary metaphysical explaination. Mine could just be the musings of a hopeless romatic philosopher.

But I would like to believe that there's still some truth to it.
 
Good thread Snowleopard! Here's my take on the situation. Personally, being 46 years old with two failed marriages under my belt and having a few other issues---lol, I have given up on dating civilians.

What hobbying provides to me is "hope" and a way to prevent sexual frustration. Here's an example. Last summer, I saw a 19 year old "hottie" who went by the name of Jessica Love. She was gorgeous with a great personality. How else would a 46 year old guy with a low paying job and other issues be able to share a bed with a woman like that?

As long as you have the money to enter the hobbying game, "the possibilities are endless." I'm learning that most sps are good actresses:p but in my situation, I'll take companionship anyway I can get it---lol. As long as I don't run out of money first!
 
squash500 said:
Good thread Snowleopard! Here's my take on the situation. Personally, being 46 years old with two failed marriages under my belt and having a few other issues---lol, I have given up on dating civilians.

What hobbying provides to me is "hope" and a way to prevent sexual frustration. Here's an example. Last summer, I saw a 19 year old "hottie" who went by the name of Jessica Love. She was gorgeous with a great personality. How else would a 46 year old guy with a low paying job and other issues be able to share a bed with a woman like that?

As long as you have the money to enter the hobbying game, "the possibilities are endless." I'm learning that most sps are good actresses:p but in my situation, I'll take companionship anyway I can get it---lol. As long as I don't run out of money first!
Click to expand...
True enough Squash ... I'm in much the same situation, as I suspect are many other hobbiests. I suppose, after much time and effort (which btw I don't possess), I might possibly be able to con the occasional sweet young thing into bed, but as t-bone says: why bother, when you can just pay? But if it were just a young body I was after, why is it that so often it has to be a new one (although, these days I'm becoming more interested in the slightly more mature variety). And surely we're not all a bunch of horny old farts. There's got to be many relatively young and attractive young bucks out there, who still can't resist the endless possibilities.
 
As for always wanting something new, as much as I hate to admit it, we guys ARE wired to spread our seed to as many partners as possible. It's societal pressures that try to make us monogamous. This hobby allows us to do that safely without a whole bunch of little leopards running around.

Yes this hobby allows us older guys to have some fun with SYTs and frankly, having dated a 23 yr old when I was 42, a relationship is NOT something I'd like to have with them.

I think if you took a poll (and you can here) you'd find there are probably about 10 main different reasons why guys hobby.

As I said, it's easy.
You also have the money factor (a guy can spend $500.00 on a woman and get nuttin' but a peck on the cheek).
You have the variety
You have the Old guy/Hottie scenario
You have boredom at home with the wife
Physical Handicaps
Some have fetishes
Many just don't want the hassles of trying to have ANY sort of a relationship (as that saying goes, we don't pay em to come over, we pay em to leave lol)

Frankly I'd rather find one lady that I could see regularly that fulfills my needs intectually and physically, who I could see once every couple of weeks, than have a new one every week. I find the encounters become much more rewarding that way.

I think you should just figure out what you want, and enjoy it while it lasts. We only get one shot at this so enjoy yourself!
 
snowleopard said:
But if it were just a young body I was after, why is it that so often it has to be a new one...
Click to expand...

I think it has to do with the way we're wired / biology - men are not meant to be monagamous, imho. That is, the prime directive is to "spread our seed" so to speak to as many women as possible. For me the thrill of seeing someone brand new sometimes outweighs the desire to see a tried tested and true hottie. I remember one time, I met an SP who closely resembled Jennifer Aniston in the looks department. I thought I'd hit the jackpot.

So after seeing her countless times, one day I realized that although I had another appointment booked with her that evening, I wasn't even getting excited about it anymore. In effect, I wanted to see someone different, someone new just for a change... even if it meant having sex with someone who had average looks by comparison. I find I have to take a break from seeing some ladies for awhile in the interests of variety and then come back to them at a later date. I think this is what also steers me away from having a conventional relationship with someone. I know for a fact that eventually I will get bored of having sex with the same woman day in and day out.
 
SL said:
True enough Squash ... I'm in much the same situation, as I suspect are many other hobbiests. I suppose, after much time and effort (which btw I don't possess), I might possibly be able to con the occasional sweet young thing into bed, but as t-bone says: why bother, when you can just pay? But if it were just a young body I was after, why is it that so often it has to be a new one (although, these days I'm becoming more interested in the slightly more mature variety). And surely we're not all a bunch of horny old farts. There's got to be many relatively young and attractive young bucks out there, who still can't resist the endless possibilities.
Click to expand...

Excellent post SL:) . Of course, I can't speak for others but here's my view on your question. I've always had trouble being monogamous. I cheated during both my marriages. I just constantly needed a variety of different women. I found the cheating both "taboo" and exciting. I did all my cheating with sps as I was afraid of getting caught.

As you correctly stated, it's the endless possibilities that hobbying entails. To illustrate how naive I was; I thought that when I got married that I would be guaranteed constant sex. How wrong I was---lol. It turned out to be the total opposite. I guess that's why so many married men and women cheat. This IMHO is why sites such as Ashley Madison have popped up---no pun intended.

Disclosure: I don't mean to be controversial. These are just my personal opinions. I'm sure a lot of marriages and relationships out there are totally monogomous.
 
So far just strip clubs for me...but I am thinking that the difference for one of us 40 plus somethings is basically honesty. If I want to bed a 20 yr old non pro it probably involves telling lies and some deception. Whereas the pro "relationship" is a lot more honest - she wants money, I want some tender moments and sex...and voila.

The only way I am going to live out certain fantasies is to pay for them. Simple as that. Anything else involves too many false promises or lies.
 
Mencken said:
So far just strip clubs for me...but I am thinking that the difference for one of us 40 plus somethings is basically honesty. If I want to bed a 20 yr old non pro it probably involves telling lies and some deception. Whereas the pro "relationship" is a lot more honest - she wants money, I want some tender moments and sex...and voila.

The only way I am going to live out certain fantasies is to pay for them. Simple as that. Anything else involves too many false promises or lies.
Click to expand...

Unless of course you're Hugh Hefner then he still has to pay them in some form or another......
 
drlove said:
I think it has to do with the way we're wired / biology - men are not meant to be monagamous, imho. That is, the prime directive is to "spread our seed" so to speak to as many women as possible. For me the thrill of seeing someone brand new sometimes outweighs the desire to see a tried tested and true hottie. I remember one time, I met an SP who closely resembled Jennifer Aniston in the looks department. I thought I'd hit the jackpot.

So after seeing her countless times, one day I realized that although I had another appointment booked with her that evening, I wasn't even getting excited about it anymore. In effect, I wanted to see someone different, someone new just for a change... even if it meant having sex with someone who had average looks by comparison. I find I have to take a break from seeing some ladies for awhile in the interests of variety and then come back to them at a later date. I think this is what also steers me away from having a conventional relationship with someone. I know for a fact that eventually I will get bored of having sex with the same woman day in and day out.
Click to expand...
That biological urge theory is no doubt true. But one would think that the need to spread one's seed would diminish in proportion to one's age. I'm not sure that my old seed is worth spreading anymore, or that any still-fertile women would care to have it. But your post also seems to support my original hypothesis, namely that it's the mystery woman we desire to find, over and over and over again, that keeps us hooked. Why else would they call them 'hookers?' ;)
 
You can fall in love at the drop of a hat - but it normally wears off in 18-36 months. This is suspiciously similar to the length of time it takes to land a woman, get her pregnant, and raise the kid to the point they are likely to survive into adulthood.

Some guys can't commit because they're always looking for the nice mix of chemicals the brain deploys when they fall for a new woman. Personally, I love the feeling - but I can fall in love for an evening (and often do at the SC) and then let it go the next day.

If I weren't married, I think I'd probably spend a good portion of my money on escorts.
 
tboy said:
Unless of course you're Hugh Hefner then he still has to pay them in some form or another......
Click to expand...

Even Hugh pays for it one way or another. He offers the ladies a fantasy lifestyle with a generous income. Do you really think that any of those ladies would even be remotely interested in him if he were your average Joe Blow??
 
It's the Total Experience

snowleopard said:
That biological urge theory is no doubt true. But one would think that the need to spread one's seed would diminish in proportion to one's age. I'm not sure that my old seed is worth spreading anymore, or that any still-fertile women would care to have it. But your post also seems to support my original hypothesis, namely that it's the mystery woman we desire to find, over and over and over again, that keeps us hooked. Why else would they call them 'hookers?' ;)
Click to expand...

It's the thrill - a high... the anticipation of knowing a complete stranger is coming over to fuck you.... the sweaty palms, increased heart rate, the nervous tension you can cut with a knife, anxiously looking out the window waiting for her to arrive, looking through the peephole hearing her footsteps as she walks toward your door... it's the poisoned pleasure you can almost taste in the back of your throat, it's pure adrenaline... it really is the ultimate high.
 
drlove said:
It's the thrill - a high... the anticipation of knowing a complete stranger is coming over to fuck you.... the sweaty palms, increased heart rate, the nervous tension you can cut with a knife, anxiously looking out the window waiting for her to arrive, looking through the peephole hearing her footsteps as she walks toward your door... it's the poisoned pleasure you can almost taste in the back of your throat, it's pure adrenaline... it really is the ultimate high.
Click to expand...
Yeah, maybe it all comes back to hormones, adrenaline, dopamine and other such chemicals. The random, inexplicable firing of neurons, those neurotransmitters coursing through our brains, that compells us to keep coming back for more. Whatever the case, I can't seem to get enough of it.

They say that as men age, and the testosterone begins to wane, so does the sex-drive, and perhaps then my mystery woman, if she ever truly existed, will vanish into thin air, along with it.
 
Quite simply the best sex I've ever had and continue to have.

Very few civilians can match the endurance and technique of experienced SP's.
 
Danolo said:
The incredible mystery of seeing the naked body of someone new..

I love it.
Click to expand...

I think Ron White said it best, "Once you've seen one naked lady, you pretty much want to see all of them naked."
 
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