Down, but lucky! Thought du jour..

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Bear669

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Apr 9, 2006
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Lotta sadness lately, women, family, women..

Diffrent strokes for dffrnt folks, but it helps me to:

Remember it could always be worse. NEVER say "Things cant get worse". I could be a starving peasant in Bangla Desh. (Stunning emails of poverty from Hailey Pixie, make it tooo real).

Remember I have been VERRRRY lucky. starting with-

I was born white
Ancestors with pretty good genes
a first child
male
middle class
English family
In English Canada
after WW II

- For sure NO disrepect :) to folks of colour,poverty, women, francophones. But its just reality, the dice were loaded in my favour.

More to add later.

Anyone else?
 
F

fix0r

New member
Feb 28, 2007
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I agree 100%, although sometimes we lose sight of what really matters.

I'm newly-single (six months) and the problem is that I have struggled with shyness issues my whole life. At the age of 35 I have bedded a very few women and been in only two relationships and this fact really gets me down sometimes. Like I've been cheated out of the best years of my life and at this point I really don't see how I'm ever going to get laid again by a civilian woman. I just don't have the social network/pickup skills to do so, so I don't even bother trying.

Then I realize that I am all the things that you listed (which really, really counts for a lot despite the socialist "equality" nazis' best efforts), plus:

100% debt free
Well paying, cushy job (despite being a college dropout)
Lots of savings and investing going on
Excellent health (never even broken a bone much less been admitted to a hospital)
Good friends
No kids to have to support (nor will there EVER be)

Hell, the positives outweigh the negatives in every respect. Sometimes on yet another lonely Friday night stuck at home it's easy to lose sight of this, however.
 
B

Bear669

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Hmmm, the "slice" part seems very...

MOD NOTE: posting pm's is verbotten
 
B

Bear669

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Hey FixOr..

rubmeister100 said:
Skills are learned. I know it is hard to do but you CAN overcome your shyness and develop social skills. Even if it means taking acting lessons to get you out of your personal state and into an alter-ego to practice.
Click to expand...
What he says.

BEST thing you can do is join Toastmasters. It may be painful at first, but you will meet a lot of folks like yourself who got into it to combat shyness and improve verbal skills.

Then JOIN something (aside from TERB:rolleyes: ). Art appreciation, book club, volunteer, etc etc. Just learn to relax in the social situation- dont consider it "babe hunting".

I am an introvert, but I do have fun!

More advice available for a modest fee.(LOL)
 
F

fix0r

New member
Feb 28, 2007
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Bear669 said:
What he says.

BEST thing you can do is join Toastmasters. It may be painful at first, but you will meet a lot of folks like yourself who got into it to combat shyness and improve verbal skills.

Then JOIN something (aside from TERB:rolleyes: ). Art appreciation, book club, volunteer, etc etc. Just learn to relax in the social situation- dont consider it "babe hunting".
Click to expand...
Yeah that makes sense and all, but the problem is that I wouldn't realistically be able to do any of those things. The sad fact of the matter is that I'm just not really a people person by nature -- I am of well above average intelligence, have very esoteric interests, dislike small talk and idle chit-chat and can't really relax without maybe three beers downrange (and ideally a lot more) so going to things like that are out of the question since one can't show up half-crocked. Plus people for the most part annoy me.

I'm not about to go out and have to make all the painful mistakes of a 15-year old in high school at this stage of my life while trying to learn social skills that should have been second nature over half my lifetime ago.

The problem is that I am hyper-sensitive to embarrassment (and I mean that -- I often find myself dwelling on cringe-worthy moments that happened to me YEARS ago, and I can't even watch actors in embarrassing situations on TV -- the channel has to get changed) so almost everything I do is geared towards ensuring that no embarrassment/awkwardness occurs. Sad but true. But life is still good I guess.
 
H

hairyfucker

Turgid Member
Sep 10, 2005
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yes
You guys have lots of requirements to be happy. I just need to be alive.

When I wake up in the morning I am a happy person because I know I have another day to do what I want or need to do.
 
R

red

you must be fk'n kid'g me
Nov 13, 2001
17,551
10
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Bear669 said:
Lotta sadness lately, women, family, women..

Diffrent strokes for dffrnt folks, but it helps me to:

Remember it could always be worse. NEVER say "Things cant get worse". I could be a starving peasant in Bangla Desh. (Stunning emails of poverty from Hailey Pixie, make it tooo real).

Remember I have been VERRRRY lucky. starting with-

I was born white
Ancestors with pretty good genes
a first child
male
middle class
English family
In English Canada
after WW II

- For sure NO disrepect :) to folks of colour,poverty, women, francophones. But its just reality, the dice were loaded in my favour.

More to add later.

Anyone else?
Click to expand...

hey, if you are ever feeling down just remember:







you could be lancslad
 
D

danmand

Well-known member
Nov 28, 2003
46,970
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LancsLad said:
It is tough being me. The burdens of greatness are many.
Click to expand...
Fortunately, introspection and self-critique are not among the hardships.:cool:
 
R

red

you must be fk'n kid'g me
Nov 13, 2001
17,551
10
38
LancsLad said:
It is tough being me. The burdens of greatness are many.:D
Click to expand...
being delusional is just one of his many burdens
 
B

Bear669

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And furthermore...

I am lucky cause..

  • born into a family that believed in books and education
  • The old man was a good provider, and taught "dont mess with the Feds"
  • Mom was a constant example of a strong, intelligent, loving woman
  • Didnt have much use for them when young, but I have 3 better than average sibs
  • I was raised to despise all forms of racism and prejudice
  • I had few bad and many great teachers all through school
  • My parent's never told me ANYTHING about sex (and my best friends were a reasonably sensible bunch to learn from)
Phew.. with all this luck, maybe I should take all my investments to Rama!:D
 
Last edited:
D

danmand

Well-known member
Nov 28, 2003
46,970
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Bear669 said:
I am lucky cause..

  • born into a family that believed in books and education
  • The old man was a good provider, and taught "dont mess with the Feds"
  • Mom was a constant example of a strong, intelligent, loving woman
  • Didnt have much use for them when young, but I have 3 better than average sibs
  • I was raised to despise all forms of racism and prejudice
  • I had few bad and many great teachers all through school
  • My parent's never told me ANYTHING about sex (and my best friends were a reasonably sensible bunch to learn from)
Phew.. with all this luck, maybe I should take all my investments to Rama!:D
Click to expand...
Having a computer with high speed internet access,
time to use it and money to spend on escorts, puts
you automatically in the 1/500,000,000 most fortunate
people on this planet.

Anyway, I am still a bit depressed.
 
L

LancsLad

Unstable Element
Jan 15, 2004
18,088
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In a very dark place
danmand said:
Fortunately, introspection and self-critique are not among the hardships.:cool:
Click to expand...


At one time I was challenged by bouts of modesty, but luckily I have no faults now.
 
D

danmand

Well-known member
Nov 28, 2003
46,970
5,601
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LancsLad said:
At one time I was challenged by bouts of modesty, but luckily I have no faults now.
Click to expand...
You are by far the most modest terb member.:)
 
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danmand

Well-known member
Nov 28, 2003
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LancsLad said:
With so much to be modest about.
Click to expand...
In my youth there was a country song titled: "Oh Lord, it is hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way"
 
L

LancsLad

Unstable Element
Jan 15, 2004
18,088
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In a very dark place
danmand said:
In my youth there was a country song titled: "Oh Lord, it is hard to be humble when you're perfect in every way"
Click to expand...


I expected you to comment that I stole ( borrowed) my previous post from a Winston quote. He was the master of the backhanded complement.
 
D

danmand

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B

Bear669

New member
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More positive thoughts...

A while ago I was venting about a hotel hassle. ATF punched me in the arm (it does get bruised a lot) and said "STF up, give it a rest, geeze stop harping on the negative shit!"

So, before I vent any more, some more recent good stuff-

Momma died quietly, in her sleep.

M, S & S came back into my life.

After 30 years, my business partner is a great guy, and listens with amusement to my ravings

Sister-in-law FINALLY got her daughter( healthy).

I saw a complete rainbow recently, bright, end-to-end, 90 degrees of sky;)
 
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