You can be the proud owner of a 64GB iPhone 5S (black) that survived a stabbing

Young_City

Resident Scumbag.
Feb 1, 2007
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Yup, it's an offer that's too good to be true. Who wouldn't want an iPhone that only suffered a crack screen during an attempted robbery that included the owner getting stabbed and punched in the face? And that's not all, if you don't lowball me I'll even meet you where it happened, buy you a cup of coffee, and give you a play-by-play of everything. I'll even explain any of Marshall McLuhan's works for you.

Okay, all jokes aside about a month ago a guy stabbed me and knocked me out (it was a solid punch, I'll give him that) while attempting to steal my phone. The screen is shattered and there are two dents on the bottom bezel. I've attached pictures. The phone works great and I've been using it since this happened. Because of the cracked screen it's not as responsive obviously. I've looked around and it looks like you can get the screen replaced for anywhere from $50 to $100. Unfortunately, there is nothing that can fix the bezel. At least it would cost so much that it wouldn't be worth it. The back is fine and everything, including the camera works perfectly.

The phone is locked to Rogers and was purchased in late July early August. I can gladly show you the receipt they e-mailed. I also have the box if you want, I just have to find it. It doesn't come with the headphone or charging cable or plug. (I know, what an awesome deal.)

I preordered the iPhone 6 because using this phone just brought back painful memories. Okay, that's a lie. I got it because I'm single and have nothing better to spend my money on. I'll consider any reasonable offers. Trust me, I know it's damaged and needs repairs, so I'll be more than fair.

Scheduling may be hard because I can only meet in the downtown area and I'm busy with school and almost daily visits to my doctor still for the whole stabbing thing.

http://imgur.com/auN1BiT

http://imgur.com/jfAJOhV

http://imgur.com/lF6q6Wm
 
Last edited:
Jul 23, 2014
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Toronto
Oh I thought you'd show pic of the stab wounds. Lot of Ladies would dig the scars.

So who knows about your story, but the phone's story is quite clear! It has seen hell and back.
 

Young_City

Resident Scumbag.
Feb 1, 2007
418
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0
Oh I thought you'd show pic of the stab wounds. Lot of Ladies would dig the scars.

So who knows about your story, but the phone's story is quite clear! It has seen hell and back.
I even made soup for my mom a few days after I got out of the hospital because she had a cold... You're right... I should spin this story and use it to get some women to at least acknowledge me without throwing up a little bit in their mouths, or immediately telling me they are lesbians.
 

Ms.FemmeFatale

Behind the camera
Jun 18, 2011
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www.msfemmefatale.com
I even made soup for my mom a few days after I got out of the hospital because she had a cold... You're right... I should spin this story and use it to get some women to at least acknowledge me without throwing up a little bit in their mouths, or immediately telling me they are lesbians.
You're fucking funny. Why do you not post more often? LOL
 

Young_City

Resident Scumbag.
Feb 1, 2007
418
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0
You two should have seen my standup bit last week. The awkward silence when I told the story about getting a boner in my sleep while having a catheter in my cock was great. And yes, I had to point out my mom to the audience after that joke.

Would you two consider a duo session? And by duo session I mean you two meet with me somewhere public and laugh at everything I say and then I go home and beat my dick. I want hysterical laughing to the point where I even feel uncomfortable. And by you two I mean only Miss Jessica Lee; the name FemmeFatale scares me after this whole incident.

And here is a photo for you sick fucks. https://www.dropbox.com/s/47euaugok80zuvf/IMG_1419.JPG?dl=0

Yes, not even the embarrassment of people watching me piss blood can stop me from the two joys of my life: smoking and drinking tea.
 

Young_City

Resident Scumbag.
Feb 1, 2007
418
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0
holy shit buddy! I didn't mean to make light of an obviously serious attack. Just your post and sense of humour made me chuckle. Hope you feel better soon. If you need someone to make you a pot of tea gimme a shout, I make the best tea ever.... ask Femme, if you've got the balls... ;)

hugs xo
If you can't laugh at a lacerated kidney and nearly dying, what can you laugh at?

I'm going to reach out when I don't look like I spent a year in a Turkish prison. You make tea and I'll bring a bottle of Duckhorn.

And fuck you. It made you chuckle? You couldn't just say you found it funny?

And yes, I have the traits of all great comedians... I'm insecure, co-dependent, and an alcoholic. Please keep that in mind. And Femme can join us for tea (she's not allowed to drink)... I just won't make any eye contact with her.
 
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