Now it's Aziz Ansari accused in #MeToo witchhunt

ultistar said:

An ANONYMOUS lady is accusing Aziz of sexual misconduct over a bad date cuz he didn't pick up on her non-verbal cues. Anonymous accusations and being judged in the court of public opinion, now social media! This is classic McCarthyism.

Unfortunately, a few ladies have decided to jump on the #MeToo movement to exact revenge on whomever wronged them. This is too bad cuz there was a chance to really address this endemic sexual harassment problem. Their bad behaviour will bring this MeToo /TimesUp movement to an end quickly.

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Link to story or source, please

They're going all in on #metoo. It's just a matter of time before a staunch meek gay liberal man like Anderson Cooper is anonymously accused of sexual misconduct against a woman.

Well, I told you people during the Gomeshi fracas that trying cases on the internet will lead to nothing good. A walk of shame will now turn into rape. Enjoy!

Jessica Rain said:

Link to story or source, please

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http://www.tmz.com/2018/01/14/aziz-ansari-sexual-assault-date/

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-e...nse-twitter-golden-globes-award-a8158296.html


http://www.newsweek.com/aziz-ansari...comedians-actions-compared-horny-rough-780975


http://www.vulture.com/2018/01/aziz-ansari-accused-sexual-misconduct.html

Smallcock said:

They're going all in on #metoo. It's just a matter of time before a staunch meek gay liberal man like Anderson Cooper is anonymously accused of sexual misconduct against a woman.

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Doesn't necessarily have to be women. The Photographer Mario Testino has now been accused by male models.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...er-mario-testino-accused-sexual-exploitation/

Non-verbal cues instead of just saying "Hey, I'm uncomfortable and not down with this right now... k thx, bye". Have to be a mind reader nowadays just to avoid being on the receiving end of a #metoo career ender.

This is beyond stupid.

Smallcock said:

Non-verbal cues instead of just saying "Hey, I'm uncomfortable and not down with this right now... k thx, bye". Have to be a mind reader nowadays just to avoid being on the receiving end of a #metoo career ender.

This is beyond stupid.

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is one of the reasons many nowadays have no girlfriends in a society which wants more female CEOs...

http://www.adstasher.com/2017/10/the-future-is-yours-to-see-campaign-by.html
http://www.businessinsider.com/female-ceos-blamed-company-scandals-2016-11

is a forcefully divided society (not a meritocracy?) where your only safe place might be in the arms of a paid SP... without real name, and to a degree ... without real feelings (relations are possible to develop though... is natural).

sounds like a joke.
it is a sad reality.

i guess we will all pay one way or another to have sex or make love in the future.
the way divorces are going nowdays makes SPs look like a cheap and more entertaining solution !
nuts ? yes, it is !

still, there is some fairness to it: the good looking ones will be highly paid by whoever has the resources.
the only question is if this is the kind the society we want to live...

note: and never try to be someone... the SPs may recognize you and come after you too ) maybe this is a joke... not sure if it is though.
note: i like women on top... female CEOs are fine... if they provide results to stakeholders...

Maybe we are 8 billion... and somebody found a loophole to diminish this number... just sayin'

Solutions:
- thinking to put recording devices in all the rooms for the law (another insane idea for an insane world)
- have a service list like SPs to sign and date before each act.... this will kill any trace of emotion in that relationship. or not ?
- having your own escort agency may start looking better than a legal divorce office - in terms of profit ... i think.
- avoid any female with CEO ambitions at work ! she may use you as target practice for cleaning her career path. this is no joke.

I actually like the way this was handled before she went to the press. I also don't like that she is remaining anonymous.

They had the encounter and she expressed her upset. To which he replied supportively. To then take this action of bringing it to the press because she didn't like that he was supporting a movement like Time's Up, is beyond ridiculous. If anything it shows that he learned from his encounter with her and grew from it. At least that is what I see.

This is again why I will preach and preach and preach - ASK and get a yes, instead of waiting for a No.

If men and women would adopt this new way of thinking and acting, these situations would not happen. We need to follow places like Cali with their affirmative consent laws.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...ns-yes-california-law/?utm_term=.517f0a0a1d45

Having regrets after isn’t enough to smear someone publicly.
I doubt this accusation will stick and won’t hurt his career.

If Aziz's account is accurate, this one seems a little grey and I'm thinking it presents a solid example of how the world has gotten a bit scarier/riskier for men. Now, I think positive consent would have gone a long way. We don't know what happened as far as "non-verbal cues". But in what was (I assume) a non-violent, non-negative experience (i.e. her saying no or clearly resisting), the woman a day later "upon reflection" thinks it wasn't okay and felt uncomfortable? I'd really like to know and understand how something like this happens - it wasn't work related, there's no power hierarchy/issue - so what prevented her from politely saying something to the effect of "no"?

I also thought #MeToo was solely about workplace assault/harassment.

sempel said:

If Aziz's account is accurate, this one seems a little grey and I'm thinking it presents a solid example of how the world has gotten a bit scarier/riskier for men. Now, I think positive consent would have gone a long way. We don't know what happened as far as "non-verbal cues". But in what was (I assume) a non-violent, non-negative experience (i.e. her saying no or clearly resisting), the woman a day later "upon reflection" thinks it wasn't okay and felt uncomfortable? I'd really like to know and understand how something like this happens - it wasn't work related, there's no power hierarchy/issue - so what prevented her from politely saying something to the effect of "no"?

I also thought #MeToo was solely about workplace assault/harassment.

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in today's corporate if a chick just launches a small rumor among her colleagues that you harassed her in any way (wrong smile is good enough to embellish a crazy story like the one from above) - you are out.

i could go in details here...

this argument alone provides lots of customers for SPs and agencies - as we speak !!!

this is not just a political issue - is root-grass movement ! sexual accusations are proficiently used by future female CEO to escalate the hierarchy !

john.who.lee said:

in today's corporate if a chick just launches a small rumor among her colleagues that you harassed her in any way (wrong smile is good enough to embellish a crazy story like the one from above) - you are out.

this argument alone provides lots of customers for SPs and agencies - as we speak !!!

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That's why I really think the phrase "Don't shit where you eat" rings true. If you want to enter into something at the workplace, be prepared to accept the possible consequences. This doesn't mean that all relationships are bad - some are healthy and long-term. But some aren't so weigh the consequences and act accordingly.

To me though, SP's are no different (I don't treat them differently). You may receive the same non-verbal cues from an SP so better to get consent than to assume everything's a green light. I have been in a few situations where I asked "what's ok" and got the response "everything" but that never sits well with me. So I ask or indicate what I'm going to do so the lady has plenty of opportunity to let me know. Trust me, I'd love in some situations to delve right in right after walking through the door - it would be passionate/spontaneous/surprising/etc. But this fantasy goes out the door since I know there is some protocol and process to be followed to ensure the lady is comfortable.

sempel said:

That's why I really think the phrase "Don't shit where you eat" rings true. If you want to enter into something at the workplace, be prepared to accept the possible consequences. This doesn't mean that all relationships are bad - some are healthy and long-term. But some aren't so weigh the consequences and act accordingly.

To me though, SP's are no different (I don't treat them differently). You may receive the same non-verbal cues from an SP so better to get consent than to assume everything's a green light. I have been in a few situations where I asked "what's ok" and got the response "everything" but that never sits well with me. So I ask or indicate what I'm going to do so the lady has plenty of opportunity to let me know. Trust me, I'd love in some situations to delve right in right after walking through the door - it would be passionate/spontaneous/surprising/etc. But this fantasy goes out the door since I know there is some protocol and process to be followed to ensure the lady is comfortable.

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you are talking like LIES and spreading RUMOURS is ok to end someone's work.
i am talking about a smile... not FS !

i think we are already fcked

the fun part of my story is that another female came to me - in another company to tell me what happened in the previous one ! a female ratting another female. she was disgusted too ! i mean... not sure if this is clear ... or even makes sense anymore ...

This story was not even about sex. Further more... there was not even touch involved. No skin to skin touch. Not even a touch on a shoulder. ... True story... !

IMHO something should be done. Not sure what and how though...


and btw: how do you know that the SPs you saw will agree that you were actually a gentleman ? do you have any proof ? this opens a totally different can of worms already... or the can is already opened... if she says you were not - well... that is it.

john.who.lee said:

you are talking like LIES and spreading RUMOURS is ok to end someone's work.
i am talking about a smile... not FS !

i think we are already fcked

the fun part of my story is that another female came to me - in another company to tell me what happened in the previous one ! a female ratting another female. she was disgusted too ! i mean... not sure if this is clear ... or even makes sense anymore ...

This story was not even about sex. LoL or no LoL ?! True story... !

IMHO something should be done. Not sure what and how though...


and btw: how do you know that the SPs you saw will agree that you were actually a gentleman ? do you have any proof ? this opens a totally different can of worms already... or the can is already opened... if she says you were not - well... that is it.

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I know you are talking about a smile - I never compliment a woman at work about her look/outfit just in case. I also do not think it's okay to spread lies/rumors so how you made that stretch is unknown.

Regarding your question, I've had a few ladies tell me afterwards. I'm not perfect - one girl told me straight to my face that she originally thought I was an ass based on my emails/requests. Afterwards she changed her opinion and friended me on Terb. But I also think that few guys will ever truly get the real scoop from a lady unless they truly do something to piss her off. Most ladies won't provide constructive criticism for fear of losing out on future business. They will either tolerate the flaws if they aren't too bad or they will blacklist you if they can't shrug them off.

sempel said:

I know you are talking about a smile - I never compliment a woman at work about her look/outfit just in case. I also do not think it's okay to spread lies/rumors so how you made that stretch is unknown.

Regarding your question, I've had a few ladies tell me afterwards. I'm not perfect - one girl told me straight to my face that she originally thought I was an ass based on my emails/requests. Afterwards she changed her opinion and friended me on Terb. But I also think that few guys will ever truly get the real scoop from a lady unless they truly do something to piss her off. Most ladies won't provide constructive criticism for fear of losing out on future business. They will either tolerate the flaws if they aren't too bad or they will blacklist you if they can't shrug them off.

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this is what i have done:
- i invited her for a coffee. i made zero remarks about looks, outfit or anything else
- when she refused, i never went back to insist further
- i may have not even smiled !

What happened next:
- she told everybody how she was actually harassed
- i was ended
- she is now a senior manager and may become a CEO in her fifties.

I will make no assumptions why she did what she did.
But one of her colleagues came to tell me in another company how she spreaded the lies ... bet she was not convincing... still, she is up on the ladder.

i guess this is a new form of "ism" - here is the link (thank you ultistar):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McCarthyism

fair ?

john.who.lee said:

this is what i have done:
- i invited her for a coffee. i made zero remarks about looks, outfit or anything else
- when she refused, i never went back to insist further
- i may have not even smiled !

What happened next:
- she told everybody how she was actually harassed
- i was ended
- she is now a senior manager and may become a CEO in her fifties.

I will make no assumptions why she did what she did.
But one of her colleagues came to tell me in another company how she spreaded the lies ... bet she was not convincing... still, she is up on the ladder.

i guess this is a new form of "ism" - here is the link (thank you ultistar):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McCarthyism

fair ?

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Obviously that's not fair. There will always be victims on both sides. You were falsely accused and the accuser has benefited. There's also female victims who have been harassed and received no justice. I just saw something about Rose McGowan who is one of Weinstein's victims talking about how when she reported things, suddenly her projects were cancelled and she was blackballed.

john.who.lee said:

in today's corporate if a chick just launches a small rumor among her colleagues that you harassed her in any way (wrong smile is good enough to embellish a crazy story like the one from above) - you are out.

i could go in details here...

this argument alone provides lots of customers for SPs and agencies - as we speak !!!

this is not just a political issue - is root-grass movement ! sexual accusations are proficiently used by future female CEO to escalate the hierarchy !

Click to expand...

In other words, false accusations are being used as a power and profitability machine.

There are no "consent laws" that can fix this. Only cameras and solid proof of innocence are surefire protections.

A "yes" behind closed doors can easily become an "I said no" when the regret sets in. There are cases springing up all around where young guys engaged in completely consensual relationships get accused as sexual abusers simply for not wanting or not being able to continue the relationship.

sempel said:

That's why I really think the phrase "Don't shit where you eat" rings true. If you want to enter into something at the workplace, be prepared to accept the possible consequences. This doesn't mean that all relationships are bad - some are healthy and long-term. But some aren't so weigh the consequences and act accordingly.

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Most people meet their SO either in school or at work. It's some crazy number like 90% of people. It's entirely logical to engage in relationships with people that are in close proximity to you all the time as they likely share similar outlook, goals, finances, educational attainment, and so on. The other 10% that meet at clubs and bars probably also account for a large number of divorces.