Vaughan Spa
Toronto Escorts

Alison of Gspotladies fame

crackerjack

Member
Aug 16, 2003
253
0
16
aka Jackcracker
http://gspotladies.com/ladies/alison.html


Lil’Head has been going pathological over Gspotladies latest EE addition, giving her the one-eyed stare since she recently surfaced on their website. Lad has been keeping me awake at night and taking on a rather woody appearance most mornings. Regrettably, he even ignores the Palm Sisters now – and that’s plain scary. Keep reminding the boy we DON’T do EE skirt,,,,especially a TOFTT EE. Just to many previously bad encounters with their propensity for chilly attitudes, substandard service, indifferent and frosty natures --- to drop a few descriptives. Much to my chagrin the lad’s obsessive-compulsive groveling caught me in a moment of weakness (little prick that he is). Did the prerequisite TERB search finding one seemingly positive; albeit, abbreviated review. That was all the impetus the boy needed and as I put down the phone,,,,appointment in hand; once againnnnnnn,,,,,it was off on another reckless, hormonally charged adventure(Sigh!).

Found myself in the lobby of an upscale hotel secretly clutching the room number. Extremely busy spot with people milling about whilst I mucked about trying to look inconspicuous. Paranoid about running into a co-worker or my pastor and tried not to stick out like a sore Terbite thumb. Speaking of which, think I spotted a few of you sore thumbs there as well,,,heehee.

Had a devil of a time trying to locate the proper elevators and true to guy form; refused to ask directions from the evil-eyed concierge keeping a close vigil over my antics. Finally found the room after much duress. A light tapping on the door caused it to magically open and as I stepped into the darkened room a lovely femme fatale appeared behind me. Exchanged the usual litany of greetings and accepted the offer for a shower. Was in and out in a jiffy and feeling real GQ,,, proudly displaying a new set of sparkling naughty bits. Found my “reason for being” laying across the sheets naked as a jay bird,,,,,and a lovely sight to behold I might add.

(Now,,,,,I’m going to pause right there and savor that recollection for a moment. ‘Cause the wheels are about to fall off.)

Hopped onto the bed to join milady for some light touching, eye contact, a few whispered nothings, mutual fondlings, etc, etc. Attempted some DFK lip lock. Not certain about her DFK skills but she certainly had the lip lock part down pat. ‘Cause those suckers were pursed tighter than a bull’s butt at fly time. No way was she going to DFK, LFK or trade spit in any way, fashion, shape or manner. Hmmmpfff,,,,,spidey senses went off like a 5 blaze fire alarm. Undaunted I offered up my super-duper, world class, lady slaying massage skills (which she gratefully accepted) hoping to mellow her out. Paid particular attention to her boobies, tracing her nipples with my fingertips, lavishing plenty of pampering touches whilst wistful fingers whisked their way around the curves of her womanly flesh. Planted soft kisses on her neck, shoulders and kept going south ---- down, down --- over her breasts, torso, solar plexus, pubes, about to nosedive into the “Y” when ,,,,DAMNIT!!!,,,,THE WORST CASE OF LEG LOCK EVER SEEN IN MY HOBBYING CAREER!!! was staring me in the face. A nasty bout of rigor mortis had set in from hips to heels or else she was clutching her last dime betwixt the kneecaps. I’m talking a strangle hold that would make Andre the Giant cry “UNCLE!”. Exasperated, I scanned the room for a can opener but none to be sighted. Nothing was coming out and nothing was going in ,,,not a finger, not a hand, not even the jaws-of-life were about to get those gams apart. Cussed Lil”Head for not packing a prybar in the emergency hobby kit.

Fast forward,,,,,
Pained me to see the girl was not into the moment. There was NOTHING from her,,,,no flinching,,,,no scratching,,,,no swatting at flies. Fearing she departed the land of the living I whipped a doctor’s hammer out of the emergency hobby kit and tapped her below the kneecap. Hmmpppffff!!! No reflex action either. Checked for a pulse and to my relief found a beat,,,,, otherwise no signs of life. By this time the boy had turtled leaving me to my own devices (the little coward). AAARRGGHHHH!!!!!!

Man I hate it when girls “clam” like that! One of my MAJOR peeves. With the nether region firmly Fort Knox-ified and a torrent of muttered expletives building inside I said FORK IT!!! and packed up the saddle. Two minutes later finds me in a huff and a half out the front door,,,,hotter than a hornet that just had his ass clipped by a car bumper. An additional twenty minutes thereafter; I'm standing red-faced and blue-balled in the line up at the friendly neighbourhood sperm bank,,,,,awaiting my turn to make a sizable deposit.

AND I SHAVE MY BALLS FOR THIS????!!!!


Gentlemen……….By the Numbers:

Face: 9
Very, very attractive facial features. Easy to get lost in her cat-like sapphire sparkling green eyes surrounded with bone straight bleach blond hair above the shoulders.

Body: 9
KRIPES!!! THEY ACTUALLY BUILD WOMEN LIKE THIS!!!
Definitely my body type. When we first entered the room the boy uttered an audible gasp! Needless to say I too was thunder f*%ck struck with her statuesque presence. Staring at her like a proper slack-jawed gawker, I put her at a noteworthy 5’7”, 120ish lbs 24-26 yrs young Barbie doll facsimile. Happy to report a lack of piercings or tattoos defacing her lovely physique. Oh,,,, and Lil’Head would like to make mention of her lovely set of borderline D cups (firm, round, yummy like melons) highlighted with large brownish areolas and .22 caliber bullet shape nipples (almost as hard too) gracing her sinewy hour-glass figure. A debate still rages on with the lad over whether or not the “girls” were au naturale or silicone imposters. After all, the boys over at Nip ‘N Tuck do some eye-popping magic with scalpels these days.

Personality: ?
Not enough conversation to get a bead on this one. Risk another C-note to find out? HELL NOT (EXPLETIVE! EXPLETIVE!). Probably a very nice girl outside the underworld and could be a stellar SP inside IF AND ONLY IF she would put some pizzazz/enthusiasm/fun factor (I’d be happy with a yawn or a beer belch) into a session.

Session (GFE/PSE Fun Factor):
And speaking of session,,,pretty simple math here. 0 chemistry + 0 GFE + 0 compatibility + 0 intensity = 0.
One part mechanical, two parts robotical, 4/5ths heaping unenthused, emotionally/physically detached with a smattering “Paris Hilton” air of indifference. Definitely not cut out for this sport imho. Spidey senses suspect she joined the sub-culture for some daunting reasons beyond her wishes; ie, Money Mart loan repayments, supplement her MacJob tips, keeping a mafia Don boyfriend outta prison,,,,,,one can only speculate. Whatever the reasons,,,,, I wager she will vamoose sooner rather than later.

Facilities: 9
An upper scale hotel in the downtown of our fair city. A llllllllot of people traffic thru one expansive mudder-loving lobby. My advice: call CAA in advance and order a map of the vestibule clearly indicating the elevators, escalators and in case of roadside emergencies,,,,directions to the lil boys’ room. I almost busted a kidney while desperately seeking out the john’s john. However,,,,,,, room/shower facilities were immaculate with plenty of large fluffy towels to boot. Though I do not recommend it; there was sufficient space inside to swing a cat by the tail.

Losses:
OOoohhh MMMMan,,,,this smarts worse than a needle in the keester ----- $120.00 (hh) + $0.00 tip. Way overboard considering services rendered.

Repeat:
DO NOT WALK,,,,RUN AWAY!

Closing Arguments:
Can’t figure it out. The initial greeting was positive; ie, karma felt good, spidey senses tingling with delight and the minimum C cup requirements were staring back at me through her dress…. BUT!!!......

....another wretched TOFTT plane wreck unfolded. GGGGRRRRRRRRR!!!! When will I learn not to fly EE Airlines?

If it’s not already apparent - this has been voted worst session for ‘09 even outstripping some notorious EE sessions in ‘08. She has earned the dubious distinction of # 2 on my Never-To-Do-List. In hindsight it would have been more exciting to have my way with that hot, blonde, bikini mannequin in The Bay’s display window at Yonge & Queen.

Hmmm,,,,,Actually,,,,,,,,,,, stay tuned for that review.


Gentlemen, it’s the kid’s inheritance. Be careful out there!

Good day and good farmin’
 
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