Funny things that happen in session ..

Alison_xox

Alisonxox
Aug 29, 2017
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Ottawa
I am in the mood for funny stories ..
Sometimes during a session , odd things can happen and it makes me smile.
Sometimes I am trying to hold my laughter and it makes weird sounds ..
As everybody here already knows , Kim & I are not competitive and we are sharing most of our clientele.. Once , one of our client booked with Kim and I had no session to go to so I decided to sneek under the massage table without the client noticing me .. Kim started the massage and from under the table I decided to start sliding my finger nails on his legs from each side. Kim could see me and was trying not to laugh. I was placed in an angle that allowed me to see the client face through the head rest and it was priceless .. He was wondering how she could massage his shoulder with one hand and to tease his legs from there .. Eventually , she started bodysliding on him so I decided to join and to bodyslide at the same time .. He was so confused .. Of course he understood what was going on and we shared a good laugh together.. I guess he got a two for one surprise that day .. Of course it is a regular client of us and we knew he would appreciate the prank ..

What are your funny stories ?
I can’t wait to read all of them ..

Kisses
Ali
 

Alison_xox

Alisonxox
Aug 29, 2017
514
742
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Ottawa
What a fun thread... as soon as I remember a funny story would definitely share, because there is always stories to tell!
I am also trying to think about other stories ( I know I have more then one) , but my memory doesn't seem to contribute .. Other than client farting or choking in their own snoring I can't recall funny stories..
I have to admit that is is very funny when a fart come up .. I am such a child..
 
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kherg007

Well-known member
May 3, 2014
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I am also trying to think about other stories ( I know I have more then one) , but my memory doesn't seem to contribute .. Other than client farting or choking in their own snoring I can't recall funny stories..
I have to admit that is is very funny when a fart come up .. I am such a child..
Soft spot for those stories too, regardless of my alleged education. Maybe because it makes you feel like a kid, when you had no obligations or cares. Had a mate do that to me in school...we were walking together in the corridor as i had to drop something into my teacher....he suddenly scampers ahead toward the door...i start wondering ...he then stands by the door frame, sticks his bum out into the open doorway, and unleashes a thunderous effort just as I'm walking through the door, causing the teachers head to snap around and her eyes burrowed right into mine...and of course upon relief my mate scampered off leaving just me standing there to be subject to her ire. I was so embarrassed but she said nothing...dropped off report, ran outside to find my mate to punch him,, and he's doubled over on the pushbike rack laughing his ass off. Which of course got me laughing. I suppose that's what friends are for. Wouldn't have dobbed him in regardless but he earned an arm punch. 40 years later I'm laughing as I write this...people in the hotel bar are wondering about me lol..
 
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solo223

Active member
Mar 13, 2016
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Had one provider who'm i had seen a few times come over..first outcall visit, all normal expect in the middle of deed while CG, she stops and asks <Can i burp>...hmmmm...go ahead...did her thing and kept going. No biggie, i figured it happens to everyone, intestinal gas...must have put her at ease cuz the next time she came over a few weeks later, i open the door and PRRRTTTTT even before i could say hi, she farts rather loudly...came in as if nothing happened, i only said...'Ho', got my kiss and we settled in...got to the bedroom and she asked again in the middle of it if she could burb...go ahead, what can i do...Can't fault her service, she was always a trooper but i have not seen her since, kind of killed the mood...or perception...lol..but i'd still see her if it comes to it, she does provide good service and has a killer body.
 

Alison_xox

Alisonxox
Aug 29, 2017
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Omg I love my thread .. It is hylarious ... More !! More !!
Thanks for sharing ... This is the kind of thread that I will come to when I am down ..
Kisses
Ali
 

solo223

Active member
Mar 13, 2016
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Omg I love my thread .. It is hylarious ... More !! More !!
Thanks for sharing ... This is the kind of thread that I will come to when I am down ..
Kisses
Ali
hahaha...you're such a devil in disguise...
 

solo223

Active member
Mar 13, 2016
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I sometimes wished I could do those things too, but held off till I got out of their places before doing any of that. :very_drunk:
if you wouldn't hold off, i surmise your sessions with the provider would NOT be GFE...lol...but what can you do when you are the 'victim' and right in the middle of things, just blow her off???...no...you just carry on like a good soldier.
 

solo223

Active member
Mar 13, 2016
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Here's another...

Go to CMJ one night to meet this fairly new MA out east...i get taken in by this girl who i don't know, but she's as cold as a Popsicle...asks who i'm in for, yeah ok, didn't even say hi, just took me to the room. I get my session with this little fireball (my best ever there), we both had a great time, had wine, talked and went slightly over the hr. She never asked for the fee and i was so numb minded by the awesome time i got with her that i left and never though to make the payment...i'm driving back home and finally it hit me..fuck i didn't pay her, i was already 20 min out but i turned around and go back to CMJ east...knock on the door, the same girl answers, again cold as Popsicle, explain to her i need to see XXX cuz we completely forgot payment...she ask 'what, you drove back 20 min to pay her'...i said well yes dear, she deserved it and i pay for what i get...all of sudden the Popsicle attitude vanishes, i get showed in by the hand, paid my girl but was taken in a room for a complimentary 20-30 min session with 3 girls....hahaha...

I could have driven off and said fuck it i got a freebie but that would not have been nice, i really liked this MA, she was sweet as candy and the session was just wow so i couldn't do that to her....now who said being honest doesn't have it's reward.
 

Alison_xox

Alisonxox
Aug 29, 2017
514
742
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Ottawa
Here's another...

Go to CMJ one night to meet this fairly new MA out east...i get taken in by this girl who i don't know, but she's as cold as a Popsicle...asks who i'm in for, yeah ok, didn't even say hi, just took me to the room. I get my session with this little fireball (my best ever there), we both had a great time, had wine, talked and went slightly over the hr. She never asked for the fee and i was so numb minded by the awesome time i got with her that i left and never though to make the payment...i'm driving back home and finally it hit me..fuck i didn't pay her, i was already 20 min out but i turned around and go back to CMJ east...knock on the door, the same girl answers, again cold as Popsicle, explain to her i need to see XXX cuz we completely forgot payment...she ask 'what, you drove back 20 min to pay her'...i said well yes dear, she deserved it and i pay for what i get...all of sudden the Popsicle attitude vanishes, i get showed in by the hand, paid my girl but was taken in a room for a complimentary 20-30 min session with 3 girls....hahaha...

I could have driven off and said fuck it i got a freebie but that would not have been nice, i really liked this MA, she was sweet as candy and the session was just wow so i couldn't do that to her....now who said being honest doesn't have it's reward.
That is awesome !!
 
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thumper18474

Well-known member
I was DATY in the 69 position...she was squirming like crazy and then

SQUIRT!!! her squirt was so powerful I couldnt move my head fast enough and UP the nose it went!!!...right into my sinuses....I coughed and choked for a good 5 minutes and she said...wow I've never done that before!!
 

Sharemyinkwell

New member
May 26, 2018
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I was DATY in the 69 position...she was squirming like crazy and then

SQUIRT!!! her squirt was so powerful I couldnt move my head fast enough and UP the nose it went!!!...right into my sinuses....I coughed and choked for a good 5 minutes and she said...wow I've never done that before!!
OMG!!!!! Lmao.... Never thought there could be a different way to "nasage" ... You should patent that and market it
 

Sharemyinkwell

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May 26, 2018
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This happened about 4 years ago when I was spending time with a lovely lady who was a regular. We were both into butt play and I had inserted a butt plug into her and was giving her oral. About 10 minutes in she was having the "big O" and began to squirt hard and her anus contracted so hard the butt plug flew out and hit me in the throat. Freaked me out initially as I was thinking... "Holy shit, she's never squirted this hard before" .... Lol
 
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OttFunseeker

Active member
Feb 9, 2014
172
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One time I had a lovely session with a lady I see regularly. Things went wonderfully as always, and as I am getting dressed she asks a favour of me. Seeing as she is 5'1 and I am 6'2, she asked if I wouldn't mind swapping out her new curtains for her, as they were a little out of her reach. Being a gentleman, I of course agreed and went to remove the old curtain rod. Well didn't the damn thing stick slightly, so I had to give one end of it a good yank, whereupon it popped out easily and I accidentally clocked the lovely lady in the head with my elbow because she was standing so close to me! I felt horrible about it! But she said she was fine, it didn't hurt, gave me a big kiss and I went on my way after a few more apologies.

We've both had a good laugh about it several times since then. :)
 
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Alison_xox

Alisonxox
Aug 29, 2017
514
742
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Ottawa
This happened about 4 years ago when I was spending time with a lovely lady who was a regular. We were both into butt play and I had inserted a butt plug into her and was giving her oral. About 10 minutes in she was having the "big O" and began to squirt hard and her anus contracted so hard the butt plug flew out and hit me in the throat. Freaked me out initially as I was thinking... "Holy shit, she's never squirted this hard before" .... Lol
Omg !!! I almost died of laughter..
 
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jazzbox

Well-known member
Jan 29, 2009
940
457
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Booked a session with an MA. Things are going well. I do the flip and I am getting close. She has her face above my Johnson and I warn that I shoot far. I guess she didn't believe me and I shot straight into her open mouth. Of course she reeled back and accused me of doing it purposely. But then, we both started to laugh. There is no way in a million years I could have planned that.
 

Crimson Rose

Member
Jul 24, 2017
62
1
6
I had a man who was audibly enjoying himself and making quite the amount of noise. He was making noises that resembled , “hon hon hon” every time I touched him. I kept picturing the French chef from The Little Mermaid when he was chasing after Sebastian the crab and was trying really hard to hold in my laughter. At least he was having a good time. Hahah
 

sexandweed

Banned
Jun 2, 2018
2
0
0
Saw this girl who offers CIM but no COF. I try to always finish this way, CIM.
One time I shot it in her eye.
On the next visit, shot it in her eye again.
On another visit, I shot it up her nose and she couldn’t breathe because her mouth was full of cum. So I had to scoop it out her nose with my finger, and of course I fed it to her :p
 
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