Dear Butler1000:
I called my Dominoes Pizza yesterday and tried to order my favourite pizza but they told me they do not make it anymore because not enough people like it.
The girl on the phone tried to offer me a similar pizza but, since it was not exactly what I wanted, I of course told her to go fuck herself because all other pizzas are disgusting and indistinguishable from one another and my pizza is the one true pizza.
I believe that the pizza industry is controlled by a cabal of fat, greedy, pizza-eating pedophiles that are keeping my special pizza all for themselves rather than releasing it to the masses. There are many other dissatisfied pizza customers such as myself who will no longer stand for this and together we are building a movement to collapse the entire pizza industry.
My friends and I have now started spamming Dominoes’ Twitter feed with poop emojis. I have also arranged with one of my very few female friends to make up a false sexual assault allegation against the CEO of Dominoes.
So, Butler1000, I wanted to check in to make sure I’ve got all of my bases covered and I’m not missing any other steps at this point?
I called my Dominoes Pizza yesterday and tried to order my favourite pizza but they told me they do not make it anymore because not enough people like it.
The girl on the phone tried to offer me a similar pizza but, since it was not exactly what I wanted, I of course told her to go fuck herself because all other pizzas are disgusting and indistinguishable from one another and my pizza is the one true pizza.
I believe that the pizza industry is controlled by a cabal of fat, greedy, pizza-eating pedophiles that are keeping my special pizza all for themselves rather than releasing it to the masses. There are many other dissatisfied pizza customers such as myself who will no longer stand for this and together we are building a movement to collapse the entire pizza industry.
My friends and I have now started spamming Dominoes’ Twitter feed with poop emojis. I have also arranged with one of my very few female friends to make up a false sexual assault allegation against the CEO of Dominoes.
So, Butler1000, I wanted to check in to make sure I’ve got all of my bases covered and I’m not missing any other steps at this point?