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US Gov. Lockdown Of All Fast-Food Restaurants To Prevent Heart Disease

The Oracle

Pronouns: Who/Cares
Mar 8, 2004
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On the slopes of Mount Parnassus, Greece
U.S.—State governments across America have responded with decisive action after startling reports surfaced that heart disease kills hundreds of thousands every year. In order to save lives, states have ordered all fast-food restaurants to close until we can flatten the curve of heart disease.

When asked for comment, Governor Cuomo looked up from his Double Baconator with fries and said, "Mmfph...Mmm...yeah, there is a health crisis in this country, and the government has the power to stop it. Closing all fast food restaurants to the general public is a good first step. Of course, we would have to exempt the Wendy's in our building. I have to eat lunch somewhere after all!"

"Although this will cost us millions of jobs, it's a small price to pay to save so many lives. If it even saves one life, it would be worth it," said Gavin Newsom as he munched on Animal Style Fries from In-N-Out. "We need to flatten the curve! Of course, this In-N-Out will remain open for me and the other government workers downtown. I mean, have you ever had these burgers? Mmmmmm!"

According to sources, fast food restaurants are not the only groups in danger. States are also looking into statewide bans on Italian moms cooking and suburban dads grilling. Olive Garden will even be required to change their "unlimited salad and breadsticks" deal to "unlimited salad without dressing."

The millions of people spared from heart disease are now projected to die from withdrawals instead.

https://babylonbee.com/news/governm...ast-food-restaurants-to-prevent-heart-disease


Satire I know but..........
 

shack

Nitpicker Extraordinaire
Oct 2, 2001
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Where the satire fails, is that eating poorly is not physically contagious. People cannot be infected with an unhealthy diet by standing close to somebody else.
 

squeezer

Well-known member
Jan 8, 2010
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Where the satire fails, is that eating poorly is not physically contagious. People cannot be infected with an unhealthy diet by standing close to somebody else.
I wonder if any of the amigos would give a rat's ass if they were asymptomatic and being a super spreader?

I bet the thinking goes something like this- ah fak, killing a few old duds and sub-par humans with underlying conditions would be part of the cure of humanity plus contribute greatly to achieving herd immunity.
 

Fradi

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Mar 22, 2017
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Trump is in isolation at his favourite McDonald’s, luckily it shares an entrance with a KFC so he should be good for months.
He did however fire his dietician and cardiologist before moving into quarantine.
 

bebe

Well-known member
Aug 17, 2001
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I wonder if any of the amigos would give a rat's ass if they were asymptomatic and being a super spreader?

I bet the thinking goes something like this- ah fak, killing a few old duds and sub-par humans with underlying conditions would be part of the cure of humanity plus contribute greatly to achieving herd immunity.
There is only one thing I am looking to spread, very soon they will be parting.

And yes I plan to be a super spreader when the agencies reopen. Happy Hunting

LOL

Btw, I won’t be using a face covering during the visit either

It’s best if you don’t hobby until their is a vaccine.
 

squeezer

Well-known member
Jan 8, 2010
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There is only one thing I am looking to spread, very soon they will be parting.

And yes I plan to be a super spreader when the agencies reopen. Happy Hunting

LOL

Btw, I won’t be using a face covering during the visit either
I do miss the days of spreading the type of spread you're referring to and I would not want to wear gloves mask or any coverings besides a rubber for FS.

We do agree on the best parts of the hobby but you are still an amigo when it comes to the virus.
 

bebe

Well-known member
Aug 17, 2001
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We do agree on the best parts of the hobby but you are still an amigo when it comes to the virus.
Amigos along side all the agencies that plan to reopen when stage 2 is achieved, the girls that plan to resume working and all the guys who will be booking along side me. Can’t forget those guys and girls who are currently hobbying. Bet we number into the hundreds maybe even thousands
 

squeezer

Well-known member
Jan 8, 2010
17,885
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Amigos along side all the agencies that plan to reopen when stage 2 is achieved, the girls that plan to resume working and all the guys who will be booking along side me. Can’t forget those guys and girls who are currently hobbying. Bet we number into the hundreds maybe even thousands
Don't be surprised if many ladies have restrictions that will be making you put your little amigo back in your pants and walking all the way back home huffing and puffing. LMFAO btw, think of me laughing about it while you are walking.
 

Goodoer

Well-known member
Feb 20, 2004
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GTA & Thereabouts...
Don't be surprised if many ladies have restrictions that will be making you put your little amigo back in your pants and walking all the way back home huffing and puffing. LMFAO btw, think of me laughing about it while you are walking.
I'm okay with that. As long as the Agency posts those restrictions prior to booking. I'd like the opportunity to save my money (or look elsewhere) as masks, gloves, etc. would be boner killers.
 

bebe

Well-known member
Aug 17, 2001
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I'm okay with that. As long as the Agency posts those restrictions prior to booking. I'd like the opportunity to save my money (or look elsewhere) as masks, gloves, etc. would be boner killers.
100% agree. Any agency that does not post which restrictions are in place for certain girls will get slammed on all the review boards. They will be handing out discounts like tic tacs to protect their reputation if guys leave ticked off

The agencies have an interest in protecting their well deserved reputation. Tossing it away after being closed for a few months is pure stupidity. If the agencies want to ruin their business go ahead right ahead and do it. Others will be waiting. Business is business.

At the same time the girls who care about their reputation want to protect it as well

I do not think we have much to worry about what services will be offered. No masks will be required, dfk daty bbbj and all the trimmings will be there. If not the agency might as well close down until a vaccine is found. Provided they find one
 

Smallcock

Active member
Jun 5, 2009
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Where the satire fails, is that eating poorly is not physically contagious. People cannot be infected with an unhealthy diet by standing close to somebody else.
It is socially contagious and addictive. You see everyone else doing it, you try it. it tastes good, and your body desires it.

Shut down all fast food joints now! It kills people of all ages and is making kids sick!
 

bebe

Well-known member
Aug 17, 2001
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It's unlikely that agencies would discuss services. Isnt that in the grey area/illegal to advertise specific sexual services for someone else.
Guess you have never looked at Allegra's website, they list what the girls offer.

The agencies need to find a way to provide the details as within a day they will be all over terb. The reviews of the girls will be harsh. I know mine would be. Will suck if you saw a girl two months ago and she scored 8's across the board, now she will score all zero's. It will be very bad for both the agency and the girls reputation.
 

squeezer

Well-known member
Jan 8, 2010
17,885
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Guess you have never looked at Allegra's website, they list what the girls offer.

The agencies need to find a way to provide the details as within a day they will be all over terb. The reviews of the girls will be harsh. I know mine would be. Will suck if you saw a girl two months ago and she scored 8's across the board, now she will score all zero's. It will be very bad for both the agency and the girls reputation.
The thing is if they are going to engage in intimacy with restrictions it will not make one bit of difference to the virus if either is infected. It will be passed on so my thinking is if you're going to play, do it all the way because the outcome will be the same.
 

bebe

Well-known member
Aug 17, 2001
5,225
458
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The thing is if they are going to engage in intimacy with restrictions it will not make one bit of difference to the virus if either is infected. It will be passed on so my thinking is if you're going to play, do it all the way because the outcome will be the same.
Yep, yep, yep.

Just talking to her in close quarters without a mask on for both parties is all you need to pass the virus. If you are going to get sick might as well enjoy your time with her instead of leaving frustrated because she no longer offers a solid visit.

Makes no reason for the service level to be lowered as a means to reduce the risk as the risk is still the same. Even booking shorter visits, say just 30 mins. won't make much difference either.

Tine to bury my face in a big bag of chips before I can bury it some place warm.
 

squeezer

Well-known member
Jan 8, 2010
17,885
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Yep, yep, yep.

Just talking to her in close quarters without a mask on for both parties is all you need to pass the virus. If you are going to get sick might as well enjoy your time with her instead of leaving frustrated because she no longer offers a solid visit.

Makes no reason for the service level to be lowered as a means to reduce the risk as the risk is still the same. Even booking shorter visits, say just 30 mins. won't make much difference either.

Tine to bury my face in a big bag of chips before I can bury it some place warm.
The 30 minutes sessions mean more tricks have to be turned so it definitely does higher the chances.

Don't eat the chips. You are at high risk of catching the virus because you are a nonbeliever in its danger. Your chances are better if you're lean than morbidly obese. I'm just trying to look after your well being man.
 

Insidious Von

My head is my home
Sep 12, 2007
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There's a rumour going around that President Trump has heart disease, if true, he shouldn't be taking lupus medication.

Big Gay Ice Cream is a Manhattan institution, it even got a big plug on The Howard Stern Show. When JD was still an intern, he was sent to Big Gay Ice Cream to buy ice cream sanguichis for the staff. To insure he wouldn't be accosted, Ronnie and one of the shows Ron Artest-like security guards went with him.

...they even have Cheetos coated soft serve!

 

J.A. Prufrock

Well-known member
Feb 27, 2018
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The thing is if they are going to engage in intimacy with restrictions it will not make one bit of difference to the virus if either is infected. It will be passed on so my thinking is if you're going to play, do it all the way because the outcome will be the same.
Interesting. I hadn't thought of this, but it makes sense. In that setting, engaging in that activity, you are bound to exchange sweat, droplets, no matter what precautions are taken. So you might as well go all in, so to speak. Let's hope the women think this way, too.

It's like coach Bobby Knight once famously said, "If Covid-19 is inevitable, you might as well enjoy it."
 

shack

Nitpicker Extraordinaire
Oct 2, 2001
46,710
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Toronto
It is socially contagious
You are discussing behaviour. The virus is physiologically contagious that requires physical proximity.

The analogy of a virus to fast food fails. Both may be bad for an individual's health but how they are transmitted and combatted are completely different.

Dealing with fast food requires education. Dealing with the virus requires people isolating and social distancing. If they are analogous you either agree with what is required for both or you disagree with what is required for both.

If you agree with the approach for one but not for the other, then THEY ARE NOT ANALOGOUS.
 

The Oracle

Pronouns: Who/Cares
Mar 8, 2004
23,034
46,148
113
On the slopes of Mount Parnassus, Greece
You are discussing behaviour. The virus is physiologically contagious that requires physical proximity.

The analogy of a virus to fast food fails. Both may be bad for an individual's health but how they are transmitted and combatted are completely different.
The big picture is that if we are really worried about whats killing us then it's time to shut down all things responsible.

Fast food restaurants, Tobacco sales and alcohol just for starters.

If you are afraid of this virus then sequester yourself by all means. Wear a hazmat suit when you go out. Have at it.
 

apoptygma

Well-known member
Dec 31, 2017
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The big picture is that if we are really worried about whats killing us then it's time to shut down all things responsible.

Fast food restaurants, Tobacco sales and alcohol just for starters.

If you are afraid of this virus then sequester yourself by all means. Wear a hazmat suit when you go out. Have at it.
Thanks for admitting that you have no comprehension of the difference between hurting yourself and hurting others.
 
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