https://www.redlandsdailyfacts.com/...ding-customs-are-rooted-in-pagan-roman-rites/
Ah, it is almost springtime! And every parson knows what this means, because it is time for a flurry of weddings.
Every faith does the rites of matrimony in slightly different ways, but they often have many things in common — flower girls, bridesmaids and rings. I have blessed perhaps hundreds of marriages in the past 35 years. But one must wonder if any of the participants realize just how pagan they are really being in the marriage rites. Many modern wedding traditions predate Christianity by many years.
Many of our sacred rites come down to us from the ancient Romans, whose heathen customs were preserved by the Christian community and given a new meaning. Roman marriage was not recorded by the state, although it was recognized in law, and there were three forms of marriage.
There was “usus” marriage, similar to our old common-law marriage, in which, if a couple cohabited for two years and were not separated for more than three nights, the law recognized their marriage. Legal validity was important for both inheritance and for legitimacy of the children, since Roman citizenship depended on the father and his wife.
The second form of marriage was “coemptio,” which was the standard rite.
On the day of her wedding, a bride would wear a long white dress and give away all her childhood toys. With the help of her friends, a sash would be tied around her waist, which only the groom could undo. Ancient references tell us that the girls liked to tie an “Achilles knot,” a knot that was extremely difficult to untie. This was to frustrate the eager groom on the wedding night.
Upon arriving at the room for the wedding, the bride would be brought inside. Young flower girls would walk before her, throwing petals on the ground to purify her path, as flower girls do to this day to the great dismay of church custodians. The bride would then enter the room or courtyard and the two fathers would preside over the ceremony.
When the couple faced each other, the bride would say, “Where are you, Gaius? I am Gaia.” The groom would ritually respond, “Where are you, Gaia? I am Gaius.” With these vows, the couple were now married, and a large wedding meal was celebrated. We might imagine the girlfriends of the groom’s friends warning the lads not to drink too much wine. Some of them still need reminding.
After the meal, the groom sent a chariot decorated with green foliage for the new wife, and she was brought to the groom’s home. On arriving in his neighborhood, the bride would offer a coin to the local gods, as she was moving into the area. How many modern brides still observe the custom of having a coin, or a “sixpence in the shoe”?
A special torch was carried before the bride. When it was put out, the bride threw it to the unmarried girls. Ritually, this wedding torch would then presumably be lit again by the lucky girl who caught it. Those who have seen a bride throwing a bouquet of flowers to the bridesmaids will recognize this gesture. Flowers seem more appropriate to throw today than a smoking log.
The third form of marriage, which most resembles our own, was reserved for the patrician upper classes. This was the “confarreatio” marriage, which was regarded as most sacred.
In this form, the rites mentioned above were all used and several things were added. One was the iron ring, which the groom presented to his new bride. The second was the wedding cake, which the couple shared. The word confarreatio literally means “with the wheat,” meaning the sweet bread. The bread would be offered with prayers to the god Jupiter, and then the new couple would share it.
The ring and the cake live on today. When I see a couple gently struggling to get the ring on past a bride’s knuckle, I thinks, “At least it’s gold and not iron. That would really hurt.”
This was the only form of marriage that required a priest, because the pontifex maximus, or the high priest of the Roman state, had to be present. He performed the wedding, and his wife had to be present. While plebian marriage required a few witnesses, this aristocratic wedding required 10. This was the only kind of marriage that was legally indissoluble, although crafty senators could often get around that law.
These wedding customs were preserved by the Christians, who passed them on to modern people of many faiths. The first Roman Christians faced a problem, however. The fathers of the two families often did not exist for Christians. Many of them were slaves. Slaves could not legally marry in Roman law, and the lowest classes had no access to the pontifex maximus.
The new religion had a special appeal to the lowest in society because it promised a happy life after death instead of the miserable one they had on earth. How then could poor Christians have a real wedding?
To this dilemma, the clergy responded. Several times in the New Testament, the apostle Paul refers to himself as a “father” to a beloved young person or to a community. As bishops were regarded as successors to the apostles, the local bishop would stand in the place of both the biological father and the high priest to perform the marriage ceremony. The Christians often chose the upper-class rituals of the confarreatio ceremony because of their respect for marriage.
Next Saturday, and almost all the Saturdays for months to come, I will be at a Christian altar doing the ancient rites. The ring, the flower girls, wedding cakes and vows live on. If only modern marriages survived as long as the wedding customs.
https://www.redlandsdailyfacts.com/...ding-customs-are-rooted-in-pagan-roman-rites/
Ah, it is almost springtime! And every parson knows what this means, because it is time for a flurry of weddings.
Every faith does the rites of matrimony in slightly different ways, but they often have many things in common — flower girls, bridesmaids and rings. I have blessed perhaps hundreds of marriages in the past 35 years. But one must wonder if any of the participants realize just how pagan they are really being in the marriage rites. Many modern wedding traditions predate Christianity by many years.
Many of our sacred rites come down to us from the ancient Romans, whose heathen customs were preserved by the Christian community and given a new meaning. Roman marriage was not recorded by the state, although it was recognized in law, and there were three forms of marriage.
There was “usus” marriage, similar to our old common-law marriage, in which, if a couple cohabited for two years and were not separated for more than three nights, the law recognized their marriage. Legal validity was important for both inheritance and for legitimacy of the children, since Roman citizenship depended on the father and his wife.
The second form of marriage was “coemptio,” which was the standard rite.
On the day of her wedding, a bride would wear a long white dress and give away all her childhood toys. With the help of her friends, a sash would be tied around her waist, which only the groom could undo. Ancient references tell us that the girls liked to tie an “Achilles knot,” a knot that was extremely difficult to untie. This was to frustrate the eager groom on the wedding night.
Upon arriving at the room for the wedding, the bride would be brought inside. Young flower girls would walk before her, throwing petals on the ground to purify her path, as flower girls do to this day to the great dismay of church custodians. The bride would then enter the room or courtyard and the two fathers would preside over the ceremony.
When the couple faced each other, the bride would say, “Where are you, Gaius? I am Gaia.” The groom would ritually respond, “Where are you, Gaia? I am Gaius.” With these vows, the couple were now married, and a large wedding meal was celebrated. We might imagine the girlfriends of the groom’s friends warning the lads not to drink too much wine. Some of them still need reminding.
After the meal, the groom sent a chariot decorated with green foliage for the new wife, and she was brought to the groom’s home. On arriving in his neighborhood, the bride would offer a coin to the local gods, as she was moving into the area. How many modern brides still observe the custom of having a coin, or a “sixpence in the shoe”?
A special torch was carried before the bride. When it was put out, the bride threw it to the unmarried girls. Ritually, this wedding torch would then presumably be lit again by the lucky girl who caught it. Those who have seen a bride throwing a bouquet of flowers to the bridesmaids will recognize this gesture. Flowers seem more appropriate to throw today than a smoking log.
The third form of marriage, which most resembles our own, was reserved for the patrician upper classes. This was the “confarreatio” marriage, which was regarded as most sacred.
In this form, the rites mentioned above were all used and several things were added. One was the iron ring, which the groom presented to his new bride. The second was the wedding cake, which the couple shared. The word confarreatio literally means “with the wheat,” meaning the sweet bread. The bread would be offered with prayers to the god Jupiter, and then the new couple would share it.
The ring and the cake live on today. When I see a couple gently struggling to get the ring on past a bride’s knuckle, I thinks, “At least it’s gold and not iron. That would really hurt.”
This was the only form of marriage that required a priest, because the pontifex maximus, or the high priest of the Roman state, had to be present. He performed the wedding, and his wife had to be present. While plebian marriage required a few witnesses, this aristocratic wedding required 10. This was the only kind of marriage that was legally indissoluble, although crafty senators could often get around that law.
These wedding customs were preserved by the Christians, who passed them on to modern people of many faiths. The first Roman Christians faced a problem, however. The fathers of the two families often did not exist for Christians. Many of them were slaves. Slaves could not legally marry in Roman law, and the lowest classes had no access to the pontifex maximus.
The new religion had a special appeal to the lowest in society because it promised a happy life after death instead of the miserable one they had on earth. How then could poor Christians have a real wedding?
To this dilemma, the clergy responded. Several times in the New Testament, the apostle Paul refers to himself as a “father” to a beloved young person or to a community. As bishops were regarded as successors to the apostles, the local bishop would stand in the place of both the biological father and the high priest to perform the marriage ceremony. The Christians often chose the upper-class rituals of the confarreatio ceremony because of their respect for marriage.
Next Saturday, and almost all the Saturdays for months to come, I will be at a Christian altar doing the ancient rites. The ring, the flower girls, wedding cakes and vows live on. If only modern marriages survived as long as the wedding customs.
https://www.redlandsdailyfacts.com/...ding-customs-are-rooted-in-pagan-roman-rites/
