CupidS Escorts
Toronto Escorts

Manipulation and other toxic behaviors.

Net.Socket

New member
Feb 9, 2020
13
0
0
Manipulation and other toxic behaviors.

Everyone has the right to a voice, we shouldn’t remove anyone’s voice as this would basically be returning them the ostracization. It is however important to call out these behaviors when we encounter them, mostly to inform the readers of the impacts of these behaviors, but also to prevent the writers to use them unknowingly. By calling out a toxic behaviors, we give everyone a chance to do better in the future.

Anyone should be careful when calling out toxic behaviours in person as some people using them have the tendency to become violent when they are exposed and might turn to physicality to gain back control over the situation.

Not every manipulators are narcissists, sociopaths or psychopaths. Some people have been through various traumas and conditioning. Gender conformity is a trauma example that both binary genders (men and women) and non-binary genders tend to face by the fear of not being “man enough”, “woman enough” or "anything enough" really. A lot of other societal conditioning will cause traumas in masses and we don’t necessarily realize it as this conditioning is fully normalized.

( https://sites.bu.edu/ombs/2015/10/14/fear-conditioning-and-ptsd/ )

Manipulators are scared to be confronted, they will most likely over react to try to get out of the situation without having to explain their behaviors. They might not even realize that they are doing it, but they have a goal and anything is fair game for them in achieving it.

“The goal of all manipulation is to gain influence to get our needs met, but habitual manipulators do so for power and control and use deceptive and abusive methods. Manipulators maintain domination through continuous, recurring, emotional manipulation, abuse, and coercive control. Often they’re passive-aggressive. They may lie or act caring or hurt or shocked by your complaints — all to deflect any criticism and to continue to behave in an unacceptable manner. “

“Manipulation may include overt aggression, such as criticism, narcissistic abuse, and subtle forms of emotional abuse. Favorite covert weapons of manipulators are: guilt, complaining, comparing, lying, denying, feigning ignorance or innocence (e.g.“Who me!?”), blame, bribery, undermining, mind games, assumptions, “foot-in-the-door,” reversals, emotional blackmail, evasiveness, forgetting, inattention, fake concern, sympathy, apologies, flattery, and gifts and favors. “

“Manipulators want to avoid being confronted and taking responsibility at all costs. They may avoid conversations about their behavior by simply refusing to discuss it. This might be combined with an attack, like, “You’re always nagging me,” putting you on the defensive with blame, guilt, or shame “
( https://psychcentral.com/lib/tactics-manipulators-use-to-win-and-confuse-you/ )

Engaging with manipulators is a tough challenge. The trick is to not let the conversation be directed towards their traps and bringing back the original topics everytime they try to bring one of their toxic behaviours in.

( https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillma...ed-by-manipulators-and-how-to-fight-them.html )
 

asuran

SB destroyed
May 12, 2014
3,046
382
83
Ottawa
Mr Toxic himself.... showbizz in 3..2..1...
 

Net.Socket

New member
Feb 9, 2020
13
0
0
Mr Toxic himself.... showbizz in 3..2..1...
That was totally unwaranted for. You are reacting with a toxic behavior to a situation that hasn't even happened. Cornering people put them on the defensive, forcing them to react instead of responding. It is definitely not the way to expect a different outcome.

There is a difference between "what you are doing right now is gaslighting, I will not engage until you can interact with me in a healthy way" and reacting with more toxicity.
 

bigbiz

TheBigBiz
Oct 31, 2019
80
40
18
Mr Toxic himself.... showbizz in 3..2..1...
He might just be avoiding this topic since he might expose himself. Just a thought.
 

Net.Socket

New member
Feb 9, 2020
13
0
0
Mr Toxic himself.... showbizz in 3..2..1...
He might just be avoiding this topic since he might expose himself. Just a thought.
"Manipulators also frequently use gaslighting—the process of provoking someone into an extreme or angry reaction, then blaming the other person for his or her reaction."

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/manipulation-coercion-personality-disorder-0322137

Perfect example for my previous post. So the behavior is called out and hopefully no one will feed into it.
 

Net.Socket

New member
Feb 9, 2020
13
0
0
That's ok that likely means he's acknowledged the problem and is now hopefully trying to adapt.

People need room to grow and make progress change isnt something that happens in 24hrs.
Agreed and it's even harder when everything in your environment pull you back into it constantly.

Expecting someone to respond in a time of war is unrealistic, the most likely to happen is a reaction. Asking someone to change while keeping them on the defensive is either ignorance or sabotage.
 

bigbiz

TheBigBiz
Oct 31, 2019
80
40
18
"Manipulators also frequently use gaslighting—the process of provoking someone into an extreme or angry reaction, then blaming the other person for his or her reaction."

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/manipulation-coercion-personality-disorder-0322137

Perfect example for my previous post. So the behavior is called out and hopefully no one will feed into it.
To be fair it is not manipulation if it is already a known trend. Tho I get where you are coming from considering you are new (Feb 2020) and may not know certain history.
 

Net.Socket

New member
Feb 9, 2020
13
0
0
To be fair it is not manipulation if it is already a known trend. Tho I get where you are coming from.
Then I miss the point of your post if a reaction wasn't what you were going for?

To be fair it is not manipulation if it is already a known trend. Tho I get where you are coming from considering you are new (Feb 2020) and may not know certain history.

So in your opinion, the solution to abuse is to... abuse back ? I miss to see how that would be helpful in any cases, maybe you can enlighten me on your thought process?
Before diverting we were discussing how gaslighting was being used here and known trend or not it is still manipulation.

I am sure that your feelings and emotions are perfectly valid, but your emotional management is your own responsibility and it doesn't give you the right to sabotage someone or something because of resentment.
 

Antonanon

Active member
Mar 7, 2019
101
44
28
Using an escort review board to preach psychology is a sure sign of boredom. Do you like screaming into the abyss much? Omg this place is a shitshow.

NetSocket should post this in the Toronto forums and see what kind of reaction you get from the general population if you really want to have fun. Ottawa guys are too nice.
 

JohnnyFever

Well-known member
Apr 19, 2018
465
407
63
Just what I want on a sex work board, lectures on progressive psychology. I'd better start checking my privilege before coming here.
 

Gurney

Active member
Feb 7, 2018
222
161
43
I could not restrain myself...

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ????

OH MY FUCKIN GOD, is this an escort/ma review board or a psychology/philosophy board ?
There must be somewhere forum or board to discuss those subject.

Plus, I'm fuckin tired of those idiots all over that are soooo fuckin "politically correct".

m2c

PS: English is not my first language but I love using "FUCK" because it has no major "significant" but usually traumatize my English friends !! lol
 

Pokemon301

Member
Jun 3, 2008
62
24
8
Gender conformity is a trauma example that both binary genders (men and women) and non-binary genders tend to face by the fear of not being “man enough”
OMG PC Principal from South Park is on TERB, I knew it!

Don't forget that boners are a social construct bro
 

randomott

Active member
Mar 2, 2017
287
134
43
Anyone remember Uber Driver? A guy who would make random posts that often had little or nothing to do with the industry? He got banned. Anyone else think TERB should ban by IP and not just username lol?
 
O

OnTheWayOut

Anyone remember Uber Driver? A guy who would make random posts that often had little or nothing to do with the industry? He got banned. Anyone else think TERB should ban by IP and not just username lol?
Wouldn't the mods get accused of IP profiling? :encouragement:
 
O

OnTheWayOut

You also arent able to ban public used domain IPs well I mean you are but it's more difficult to pin website usage in such instances to one individual.

There is significant evidence to support that banned individuals just re-create new user accounts. There is also evidence to support some individuals have stalked providers through terb and other social media. No website is perfect however having a mobile app version would allow terb to block specific devices of individuals. Again doesnt solve specific public PC problems.

Anyone else think terb should work towards a mobile app like many other forums?
Here I am trying to be funny and you make valid points!
 

Mreffect

Active member
Feb 21, 2017
164
57
28
Mr Toxic himself.... showbizz in 3..2..1...
The fact that you can't see your own toxicity by posting is the funny thing here. Starting shit for no reason.
 
Toronto Escorts