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Thread: Is your hobbying a complete secret or do others know?

  1. #1
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    Is your hobbying a complete secret or do others know?

    Saw a similar thread on Merb, so I thought I'd ask here.
    I got back into the game about three years ago, several years after my marriage fell apart, and largely due to boards like this one and another I frequent. The information and advice has been invaluable. I'm in my mid-50s and while I sometimes think about how great it would be to once again find that special gal to share my life with, I doubt I'll ever pursue it. That's how badly I was burned by a longtime marriage that soured swiftly and inexplicably.
    So, I plan to do this for the rest of my life, health-permitting, and offer no apologies for it, nor do I feel any modicum of guilt, and I appreciate the opportunity to be with young, beautiful women.
    But nobody in my life has any clue I do this, not even my closest friends. I certainly would never tell co-workers, given office gossip, and risk staining my spotless reputation as a "good, upstanding guy."
    Sometimes I feel like confiding in someone, but I know I'm better off doing it anonymously on boards like this.
    I'm sure it's different for married guys than singles, but I'm curious if there are a lot of other "secret mongers" out there like me.

  2. #2
    This hobby fucks with your head. The addictive nature is like any other addiction. You'll be at work, then suddenly you'll start thinking about the hobby and your mind drifts into the gutter. Would you want your surgeon to be a hobbyist, not me.

  3. #3
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    Complete secret. You never know if it will come back to bite you in the ass
    "Last night you were, unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. ..Do it again"...... Morticia Adams



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  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by wanttodo View Post
    This hobby fucks with your head. The addictive nature is like any other addiction. You'll be at work, then suddenly you'll start thinking about the hobby and your mind drifts into the gutter. Would you want your surgeon to be a hobbyist, not me.
    I don't know about that. Would said surgeon operate any better if trapped in a stale, loveless, sexless, depressing relationship that's always on his mind?

  5. #5
    It's a total secret, oh, except for the SPs.

  6. #6
    For me it's a total secret, though I'm pretty much just a "semi-legit" massage hobbyist now. I had a friend who told me he hobbied though, I was so shocked at how proudly he admitted it.

    Apparently in certain communities, it's normal for all the guys go around secrewing escorts and strippers while their wives are at home with the kids. They even partake while with friends and male family members.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by wanttodo View Post
    This hobby fucks with your head. The addictive nature is like any other addiction. You'll be at work, then suddenly you'll start thinking about the hobby and your mind drifts into the gutter. Would you want your surgeon to be a hobbyist, not me.
    I 100% agree. The "Hobby" easily rivals alcohol if not worse... I like beer after work whereas I think about pussy before, during and after work...
    -Goodoer

    "I might just reverse my vasectomy for a lady who does this...

  8. #8
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    My best friend knows I've "hobbied". We got to the odd Rub 'n Tug together after watching a Leaf game. Probably a mistake as he may let it slip to my SO by accident one day. He also knows I have a sexless marriage (and I'm pretty sure his lovely wife knows as well)...

    I do know that the same best friend also gets Tang on the side every now and then (even though his wife moves Heaven and Earth to keep him interested and fucks him). I'll take that to the grave and he knows it. He won't see SPs though.
    -Goodoer

    "I might just reverse my vasectomy for a lady who does this...

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Celticman View Post
    Complete secret. You never know if it will come back to bite you in the ass
    The review boards are invaluable, its a place where fellow "addicts" can discuss this thing, yet never have to share with anyone irl.

    The stigma will always exist, so it will never be a good idea to share it, and I will always laugh in silenece of thier ignorance.

    How do you convince someone how great paying for sex can be?
    It is illegal and many are naive and only imagine the worst side of it is the norm.
    It's just not a conversation to be had with family/friends or colleagues it causes more trouble than anything gained from a discussion.

    It would be suprising to figure out how many hobby and are posting/reading reviews on this board yet have an appearance of total digust at the idea of prostituiton to anyone when approached about it.

    Hide your power level!

  10. #10
    For me its a secret for sure althought I think my trainer at the gym and my concierge know haha

    Quote Originally Posted by J.A. Prufrock View Post
    I don't know about that. Would said surgeon operate any better if trapped in a stale, loveless, sexless, depressing relationship that's always on his mind?
    One quality surgeons should have is the ability to get in the zone when they are operating. They can think or not think of whatever outside of work but during work youd hope they all be focused.
    CUPID Mega Thread | TP Megathread | High Price Tiered Indys List: 400-499 ; 500-599, 600+

  11. #11
    My wife knows.

  12. #12
    Most of my friends now, and they think it’s cool and would be doing the same if they could afford it. Outside of that, I’m not married and don’t plan to be, and I doubt my parents care (I’m fairly certain they at least suspect, given that I’m single and go to Amsterdam frequently). Certainly they wouldn’t care enough for it to be a problem for me, at worst, I’m looking at a disapproving look and maybe a bit of a talk. So really, I see no reason to hide it. If I have a serious girlfriend again then it’s time to go undercover, but for the time being, I don’t really care. I don’t flaunt it, though. I only discuss it with people in private. Also, the guy I talk to about it the most is a lawyer, and I’ve gotten official legal advice from him regarding the hobby, so it’d be privileged anyway. He couldn’t tell anyone.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimnul View Post
    Most of my friends now, and they think itís cool and would be doing the same if they could afford it. Outside of that, Iím not married and donít plan to be, and I doubt my parents care (Iím fairly certain they at least suspect, given that Iím single and go to Amsterdam frequently). Certainly they wouldnít care enough for it to be a problem for me, at worst, Iím looking at a disapproving look and maybe a bit of a talk. So really, I see no reason to hide it. If I have a serious girlfriend again then itís time to go undercover, but for the time being, I donít really care. I donít flaunt it, though. I only discuss it with people in private. Also, the guy I talk to about it the most is a lawyer, and Iíve gotten official legal advice from him regarding the hobby, so itíd be privileged anyway. He couldnít tell anyone.
    Dam Square is really something in Amsterdam. All sorts of women and live sex shows. That is also one of my favourite destinations in Europe. Apart from Amsterdam, I used to enjoy my time in Cuba.

    I have a couple of very close friends. We used to frequents all the strip bars and end the night with a HE at a MP. It is really worth discussing some of your adventures and misadventures with you trustworthy buddies.

    That is also great way to get tips about who to visit or avoid. These are the same buddies that would be great company to travel as a group to destinations like Cuba. So my advice to OP is always to confide in a couple of buddies that you can trust to keep your secrets. That is how we all managed to open up about our hobbyist experiences / desires. It is surprising how all the singles that I came across, have exactly the same desires that they have revealed for the first time. Of course, if these friends of yours claim to be very religious then, be very cautious about confiding in them.


    On ignore: Disrespectful Individuals!!

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Ben19 View Post
    For me its a secret for sure althought I think my trainer at the gym and my concierge know haha
    As a former concierge, I knew who all the hobbyists were. This was years ago when I couldn't afford to hobby myself. I also knew all the dudes that didn't have to pay either, they brought over the most girls.

  15. #15
    The only people who know I hobby are people I've met through the hobby.
    Many MPAs, a few spa owners, and a few fellow hobbyists.

    I've never mentioned this hobby to anyone in my personal life.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goodoer View Post
    I 100% agree. The "Hobby" easily rivals alcohol if not worse...
    I have trouble drinking $300 of booze in an hour.

    Aside from my kids and almost all of my friends, nobody knows.

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by bver_hunter View Post
    Dam Square is really something in Amsterdam. All sorts of women and live sex shows. That is also one of my favourite destinations in Europe. Apart from Amsterdam, I used to enjoy my time in Cuba.

    I have a couple of very close friends. We used to frequents all the strip bars and end the night with a HE at a MP. It is really worth discussing some of your adventures and misadventures with you trustworthy buddies.

    That is also great way to get tips about who to visit or avoid. These are the same buddies that would be great company to travel as a group to destinations like Cuba. So my advice to OP is always to confide in a couple of buddies that you can trust to keep your secrets. That is how we all managed to open up about our hobbyist experiences / desires. It is surprising how all the singles that I came across, have exactly the same desires that they have revealed for the first time. Of course, if these friends of yours claim to be very religious then, be very cautious about confiding in them.
    Amsterdam’s red light district (technically districts as there are actually 3 in the city, but most people only know about De Wallen) is something else. It can be a bit of a minefield, because about half the girls there are just there to bilk clueless tourists out of their money and won’t give you good service no matter how much you pay them, but there are some really great ladies too. I have my regulars, some of whom I even keep up with on whatsApp. I have a very sweet Russian lady named Veronica who may well be my ATF at this point who always gets me to text her when I arrive home so she knows I’m safe. Really some absolutely stunning girls there, you just have to be willing to weed through the rip off artists and sort of learn how things work over there. Great city, I always have an amazing time and meet all sorts of characters.

    As you say, most of my regular ladies, including Veronica, I learned about from friends I made there or from my Amsterdam forum that I’m active on. Really helped having some hobbyist buddies there, the intel is invaluable.

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Charlemagne View Post
    As a former concierge, I knew who all the hobbyists were. This was years ago when I couldn't afford to hobby myself. I also knew all the dudes that didn't have to pay either, they brought over the most girls.
    I assume my concierge knows at this point. Way too many gorgeous ladies coming to my place. Something’s gotta be up. He’s a good guy, though, we chat a fair bit, and I contribute generously to the annual staff appreciation fund (which he takes payment for), so I doubt I have much to worry about.

  19. #19
    Well a good friend of mine knows who's married and he couldn't care less . A couple guy's at work know but they are not married and do the same thing . I always have the girl come to my home . Always very late at night thinking that the neighbors won't know . WRONG . One time at a BBQ I was at a neighbors house and a few neighbors were sitting around the fire . One neighbor had a few too many and she asked me who were these girls coming to visit me late at night . Well you should have seen the faces of the other lady neighbors faces . I found out that they all knew but kept it quite .

    No big deal . We all had a good laugh . I'm not married nor do I have a girlfriend . Believe me if I was married I would never have a lady come over like that . I've been doing this for over 25 years now and these neighbors knew all along .You think that your neighbors don't know even if you live in an apartment or a condo but eventually they find out .

    My family doesn't know but I wouldn't care if they found out . I'm not married so who cares . I see plenty on my street but I keep it to myself . Why say something when it's none of my business .

    A few times I've seen a lady neighbor getting dropped off at the next street and she walked to her house . She always gave the guy a kiss good bye . LOL . A couple of months later the house went up for sale .

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by wanttodo View Post
    This hobby fucks with your head. The addictive nature is like any other addiction. You'll be at work, then suddenly you'll start thinking about the hobby and your mind drifts into the gutter. Would you want your surgeon to be a hobbyist, not me.
    We're sex addicts and SPs are sex dealers.


    Female mating strategy: "Alpha fucks - short term sexual needs - and Beta bucks - long term provisioning and security needs." :-(

    I want you to point your finger at me. I want you to call me names.

  21. #21
    Complete secret.

  22. #22
    I'm pretty open about it depending on whom I talking to. I'm 45 now, and still have good friends from childhood and my teenage years. In my teenage years, I went to strip clubs, MP's together with some of these guys so telling them I went the extra step was no big deal. In fact, one friend even got SP together when we were in Vegas in our 20's. So with certain circles, I'm pretty open about it, but mostly keep in pretty private.
    Last edited by black booty lover; 01-06-2020 at 05:35 AM.

  23. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by bazokajoe View Post
    Complete secret.
    Correct. Complete secret. Except for bazokajoe and BBL. LOL.

  24. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by kherg007 View Post
    correct. Complete secret. Except for bazokajoe and bbl. Lol.
    lol.

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