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Stages of the "hobby"

itd131

Active member
Sep 16, 2006
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Here is my take on the “stages of the hobby.” I posted something similar months ago in another thread but that thread seems to have disappeared. Anyway, continuing the conversation here.

Stage 1) “Am I really doing this?”

You have been thinking about it for awhile, even years, and finally something gives. Maybe a stale relationship hits a new low, your wife leaves you, your SO becomes seriously ill and can't be intimate with you anymore, or you have just been alone for too long. Maybe you have been slowly working up to it, starting in strip clubs, then massage, and the temptation has been building for longer than you can take. Every guy has his reason, but whatever yours is, you finally pull the plug and go visit someone. You feel energized, scared, excited, embarrassed, a lot of different thoughts and emotions flash through you. During this stage you may stop and start, maybe even “quit” for weeks or months and tell yourself you shouldn’t do it… but then give in to temptation. No matter what you tell yourself you always seem to end up back at it. Asking yourself “am I really doing this?” or having thoughts like “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” are regular occurrences in this stage. One way or another you end up hooked.

Stage 2) “Kid in a candy store”

You settle into your new found lifestyle and start to behave like a kid in a candy store. You begin to really enjoy how easy it is, and how much fun you can have, with just a few texts and a few greens. Your spending increases rapidly. The hesitation is quickly disappearing, if not gone all together, and now you are immersed in sampling all the candy. You stop thinking about it and just do it.

Stage 3) “Experimentation”

You experiment often, seeking bigger and bigger thrills and an ever widening range of experiences. Duo, trio, quad, why not? You set personal records for most women in a day, week, month and year. You try every type of session, and meet every type of woman, you have ever wondered about and once you have exhausted your list, you just add more to it. There is a sense of decadence. When you have a great experience, you ask yourself how you can do it again and make it even better next time. Your spending peaks and possibly runs out of control.

Stage 4) “Regular ladies”

You start to feel a connection to some of the women you have met and repeat with them on an ongoing basis. The word “escort” doesn’t seem to fit anymore and you start to think of them as “girlfriends.” With your regulars, the sessions you book gradually become longer. With the best ones, no amount of time ever seems to be enough. Your total spending decreases while the amount you spend on your regulars increases at the same time. The best part of the lifestyle becomes the “relationships” that develop with your regulars.

Stage 5) “Time to move on?”

You start to feel like you have done it all and the excitement isn’t what it used to be. You find yourself wondering if you would be happier to save your money for other things. You also question if your "secret life" is detracting from your current relationships, or your ability to engage in new relationships, in your "real" life. You ask yourself what you really want in life, and from the lifestyle. You book sessions with the best ladies in the business but no matter how great the session is, you still feel a bit of “been there, done that.” No lady seems to be able to compete with your favourite regular(s) and you start to have thoughts like “when my favourite lady leaves the business, I will quit too.” Your spending stabilizes. The crazy binges that may have happened in previous stages are occurring less and less often, or stop completely. You may stop seeing new ladies all together and see your favourite regular(s) exclusively.

Stage 6) “Retirement”

You “quit” the lifestyle, or at least that’s what you tell yourself. Your regulars have also retired officially, although it’s possible they still see you. They might see you as they did before “retirement,” or on a reduced schedule. Some may even consider you a friend at this point and although the sessions have stopped, they meet you for a drink from time to time off the clock. Whatever your activity level used to be, you do it much, much less now and your spending drops accordingly. Every guy has a different definition of quitting: one session per year, one session per month, three months off - one month on, etc. Some guys just give up certain services. Other guys stop for a year or more, then return for a bit, only to “quit” again. Although many guys tell themselves they have retired, not many stop completely.


Credit to Rodney785 and The "Bone" Ranger for their input (see below).
 
Last edited:

oil&gas

Well-known member
Apr 16, 2002
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Ghawar
Although many guys tell themselves they have retired, not many
stop completely.
Most of them will have stopped completely within the last
few years of their life span.
 

Mishman527

Well-Known Member
Dec 29, 2016
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I like this stage model you have here. I'd say I'm starting stage 5.....I purposely avoid thinking about the amount of money I've put into this hobby... But perhaps I'll die happier.
 
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itd131

Active member
Sep 16, 2006
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Most of them will have stopped completely within the last
few years of their life span.
A regular lady told me not long ago she has an older client who is in the hospital (may not get out), who asks her to call him on the phone now that he can't get to her place anymore. Another lady told me she has a client who had prostate cancer and can't get it up anymore. She said she just jacks off his flacid dick. Some guys won't let anything stop them lol.

I'm sure you are correct that there are some guys who stop because their health prevents it. Marriage or a change in relationship status is the other factor that comes up sometimes. Over the years I remember there have been terbites who said they are getting married and quitting. I wonder how may actually did manage to quit for good.
 

itd131

Active member
Sep 16, 2006
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Jointly in stage 2 & 3 rapidly heading towards 4

Yeah, I think it's more of a slow transition than a clean jump from one stage to another. I have usually been in more than one stage at a time. Right now I think I'm mostly in 4 and 5 although starting to slide into 6.
 

BloweyJoey

Well-known member
Apr 28, 2016
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I imagine I'll just be stuck in a 2-5 loop the rest of my life. I cant imagine not having sex with hot girls with little work put in. I'm sure I'll just take breaks and reset and come back to it.
 

farquhar

Well-known member
Jan 25, 2019
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Stage 3) “Experimentation”

You experiment often, seeking bigger and bigger thrills and an ever widening range of experiences. Duo, trio, quad, why not? You set personal records for most women in a day, week, month and year. You try every type of session, and meet every type of woman, you have ever wondered about and once you have exhausted your list, you just add more to it. There is a sense of decadence. When you have a great experience, you ask yourself how you can do it again and make it even better next time. Your spending peaks and possibly runs out of control.
But then the Bank pre-approves you for an Unsecured Line of Credit (just sign on the dotted line); so, now you can spend money you don't even have; and every couple of years the Bank pre-approves you for a Limit Increase.....wheee!!!!!

I wonder if guys on this board with houses and Home Equity Lines of Credit tap into that in order to fund this indulgence....I know I sure would!
 

itd131

Active member
Sep 16, 2006
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I imagine I'll just be stuck in a 2-5 loop the rest of my life. I cant imagine not having sex with hot girls with little work put in. I'm sure I'll just take breaks and reset and come back to it.
That sounds like stage 6 lol. Good on you for not bothering to lie to yourself that you are quitting.
 

J.A. Prufrock

Well-known member
Feb 27, 2018
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If I didn't know any better, I'd think the OP discovered my journal from the early 1990s. LOL!
I got back into the game a couple years ago after my wife left me and I am slowly dipping my feet back into the water, somewhere late in stage 1.
But before I got married, I think I followed the stages you described to a T:
1. Did strip bars but it wasn't fulfulling, so I moved onto AMPs and then street girls.
2. Was hooked due to the ease and convenience, getting HJs at AMPs and BJs from street gals.
3. Wanted more, so I began having FS with street gals (covered, of course) at cheap hotels.
4. Enjoyed sessions with particular ladies, who became my "regulars."
5. Had my fun, was fortunate I didn't catch any diseases and decided it was time to settle down with the girl of my dreams.
6. Completely retired during marriage, didn't need it and never considered it because life was good.
7. Then she destroyed my world and crushed my spirit by leaving me (for reasons unrelated to sex or the hobby, which I obviously never discussed with anyone). Took me a few years to come to grips with it before it was time to get back in the game in my early 50s, so I started again at stage 1.

Where this journey takes me, I have no idea. But I am committed to enjoying life again and am only interested in NSA sex. Intimacy, while not the most important thing in my life, ranks pretty damn high.
 
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niceandslo

Banned
Jul 19, 2014
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I have been through these stages so many times i believe once i stop getting intetested life will be sad.
 

autumn96

Member
Jun 13, 2017
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I made it to Stage 2, stayed there for a couple years and then jumped to Stage 5, where I've been at for a while.
 

VERYBADBOY

Active member
Dec 22, 2003
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Back in the 6ix
My progression was SC to SP then to MP back to SP and then mix but not back to SC.

Many of the steps are similar except for stage 4, don't adhere to the regular/girlfriend and am more the repeat/acquaintance because I keep the hobby separate from my personal life. I prefer it this way and have had repeats retire many times in the past so it makes things simpler.

This would also affect the definition of your other stages as well given my mindset. Been to #5 and #6 for short term periods but enjoy the sex too much.

VBB
 

TeeJay

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Jun 20, 2011
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west gta
Quitting has been much easier due to quality of current providers and ages of experienced providers
 
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