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Dating a woman with Bipolar Disorder... The End.

RZG

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2007
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I gave it an honest and open attempt. I took a balanced POV from all the replies on my previous post of the same name and I really wanted it to succeed. In my case all I can say is No. Ever see the recent film Bipolar Rock N Roller? It`s a brutally honest look at Mauro Ranallo, an announcer for boxing/combat sports, and his decades long struggle with Bipolar Disorder. He is really good btw. I truly had no idea, probably no one does, what a chaotic shambles things can become in 2 seconds dealing with this. As always..YMMV. I did a ton of research on it and found that 90% of marriages with an afflicted partner crash and burn, I understand why now. It is a severe mental illness and people with it have a ten to twenty year less lifespan on average, for numerous reasons. I feel very sad right now.
 

Butler1000

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2011
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In six months you won't feel sad. You will feel relieved.

You owe nothing on this. You are not a bad person for choosing not to pursue this relationship. Any relationship is a two way street.

Any relationship with a bi polar person is more like sailing on an unfamiliar and unforgiving sea.
 

Insidious Von

My head is my home
Sep 12, 2007
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In the long run you're better off. For the foreseeable future you may be asking yourself, could I have done more.

As a cautionary tale. I attended a wedding of what I thought were the perfect couple, both physically attractive with a high financial upside. She found out she couldn't conceive, slipped into heavy depression and became anorexic. His career flourished, yet he stood by her during her troubles. They are still married. I saw him again recently at a charity event, I asked him where his wife was? He said, she does her own thing.

People with Bi-Polar disorder are particularly vulnerable.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2019-05-16/insurance-covers-mental-health-but-good-luck-using-it?utm_source=pocket-newtab
 

icespot

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2005
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We all been there, and none of us can say at this moment anything that will lessen the pain and sadness.

I found that using a rubber band helps decrease the mourning period.

Place it around your wrist, any time you catch yourself thinking about her, pull it and give yourself a little pain. Then think about something else, soon your mind learns not to think about her, and the sadness starts to go away.

Also, you did a good thing, you gave it an honest assessment and came to the decision that's best for her and you.

You can't make others happy if you are not happy.
 

RZG

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2007
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In six months you won't feel sad. You will feel relieved.

You owe nothing on this. You are not a bad person for choosing not to pursue this relationship. Any relationship is a two way street.

Any relationship with a bi polar person is more like sailing on an unfamiliar and unforgiving sea.
Also as a caution or heads up to the gentlemen on Terb ,a couple things. She called herself "crazy" numerous times. She would often interject "hating men" into conversations. She frequently went into self loathing talk. She struggled with any kind of humor and her POV was all important. Oddly too.. I was cautioned by her friend who set us up not to talk about money, OK, done, never once mentioned it. She however brought it up several times, unlike many women though there seemed to be no angle to it concerning gold digging behavior. She too is broke like the last number(probably all) of civilian women I`ve dated. I was planning some fun things and outings, never looking for a dime, I`ve had a lucky and fortunate life, I take stock of my blessings in prayer daily. She felt she had to adopt a defensive position, making her off the chart anxious, when I told her about them. All I was doing was being, as always, a stand up total gentleman. I was left feeling like someone had relocated every letter and number key on a board and needed me to type the huge book... The Arms Of Krupp. Looking back at all my real partnerships/relationships I truly think now that most of these women were dealing with Bipolar or Borderline Personality Disorders, all of them fueled in addition with heavy alcohol and antidepressant and sleeping tablet prescriptions. I`m either the unluckiest guy ever or there really is something going on. Moving on, I did a 4 mile run this morning and a good shot of weights. I`m using my angry energy to benefit me while pondering my future involvement with women. So... Heads up Gentlemen.
 

icespot

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2005
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Also as a caution or heads up to the gentlemen on Terb ,a couple things. She called herself "crazy" numerous times. She would often interject "hating men" into conversations. She frequently went into self loathing talk. She struggled with any kind of humor and her POV was all important. Oddly too.. I was cautioned by her friend who set us up not to talk about money, OK, done, never once mentioned it. She however brought it up several times, unlike many women though there seemed to be no angle to it concerning gold digging behavior. She too is broke like the last number(probably all) of civilian women I`ve dated. I was planning some fun things and outings, never looking for a dime, I`ve had a lucky and fortunate life, I take stock of my blessings in prayer daily. She felt she had to adopt a defensive position, making her off the chart anxious, when I told her about them. All I was doing was being, as always, a stand up total gentleman. I was left feeling like someone had relocated every letter and number key on a board and needed me to type the huge book... The Arms Of Krupp. Looking back at all my real partnerships/relationships I truly think now that most of these women were dealing with Bipolar or Borderline Personality Disorders, all of them fueled in addition with heavy alcohol and antidepressant and sleeping tablet prescriptions. I`m either the unluckiest guy ever or there really is something going on. Moving on, I did a 4 mile run this morning and a good shot of weights. I`m using my angry energy to benefit me while pondering my future involvement with women. So... Heads up Gentlemen.
You need to realign your radar. We are creatures of habit, for example think about the way you dress every day, although there are over 1000 possible combinations, you dress the same every day. It saves time and makes you more efficient.

Same thing with women, you have found a good response with woman that have certain characteristics. You can see a group of 10 women, but you will be attracted to the one with BPD or Bipolar.

Need to go on a six month fast, realign your radar by dating women that are opposite what you normally be attracted 2.

I was there before.
 

RZG

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2007
654
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You need to realign your radar. We are creatures of habit, for example think about the way you dress every day, although there are over 1000 possible combinations, you dress the same every day. It saves time and makes you more efficient.

Same thing with women, you have found a good response with woman that have certain characteristics. You can see a group of 10 women, but you will be attracted to the one with BPD or Bipolar.

Need to go on a six month fast, realign your radar by dating women that are opposite what you normally be attracted 2.

I was there before.
I appreciate the advice. I generally like to mix things up however, variety, spice of life and all, that is what confuses me. I`ve had 16 civilian relationships so far in my 62 years. The women have been from varied ethnic/cultural/religious and employment, location etc. backgrounds. I may take a break as you suggest, this is terribly mentally fatiguing. I`m concentrating on my physical fitness and pushing hard for my goals, this really builds mental strength and toughness, I`m very pleased with my progress. Are there women out there worth bothering with?..possibly. Do any of them honestly give a shit about the guy who desires them?.. probably less likely. Maybe I`ve just seen too much insanity from them?.. could be. Take care gentlemen.
 

The Oracle

Pronouns: Who/Cares
Mar 8, 2004
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On the slopes of Mount Parnassus, Greece
I gave it an honest and open attempt. I took a balanced POV from all the replies on my previous post of the same name and I really wanted it to succeed. In my case all I can say is No. Ever see the recent film Bipolar Rock N Roller? It`s a brutally honest look at Mauro Ranallo, an announcer for boxing/combat sports, and his decades long struggle with Bipolar Disorder. He is really good btw. I truly had no idea, probably no one does, what a chaotic shambles things can become in 2 seconds dealing with this. As always..YMMV. I did a ton of research on it and found that 90% of marriages with an afflicted partner crash and burn, I understand why now. It is a severe mental illness and people with it have a ten to twenty year less lifespan on average, for numerous reasons. I feel very sad right now.
Thanks I know of Mauro and always got a kick out of his announcing sporting events. I didn't however know what he was afflicted with.

I downloaded the documentary last night and watched it before I hit the hay after the UFC last night. It was a tough watch especially before bed.

I dated a gal 20 years ago who hospitalized after we broke up. She was subsequently diagnosed as being Bipolar. I read up on it as much as I could. But there wasn't a lot of information available on it at the time. I remember when we were a couple I just couldn't understand how she could get by with as little sleep as she could. Her energy levels were off the chart. She'd also spend money on me like no tomorrow. When she was a waitress before becoming the GM of the restaurant she could go to a table of 12 and take their app
orders, entree orders and drink orders and not write one down and never get it wrong. It was truly amazing to watch. But the crash was also horrific. Now knowing what I know. All the signs were there.

About a year after we broke up. I gave it another try but once again it didn't work. We remained friends and would sometime hang out without any sex. Which was hard because she was by far the best sexually that I have ever had. Multiple orgasms galore and truly loved sex. But it was best just to keep it that way. A few months later she had a brain an aneurysm while at our fitness club. She survived but was never the same after that. Her speech was slurred and her left arm was paralyzed. And her impulse control was diminished to the point where she was stealing things and picking cigarettes of the ground to smoke. Her parents refused to let me see her as they attached our relationship failures too me. I had to retreat. I didn't want to but there wasn't anything I could do. I resigned myself to driving by her parents house about once a week and seeing her drinking her morning coffee on their front porch. She didn't even know it was me I'm sure but it made me feel good knowing that she was still alive. One day after 10 years or so there was a for sale sign on their front lawn and I checked on line and found her obit. Her struggle was over.....
 

Euro Male

Well-known member
Nov 30, 2004
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concrete jungle of toronto . . .

I dated a gal 20 years ago who hospitalized after we broke up. She was subsequently diagnosed as being Bipolar. I read up on it as much as I could. But there wasn't a lot of information available on it at the time. I remember when we were a couple I just couldn't understand how she could get by with as little sleep as she could. Her energy levels were off the chart. She'd also spend money on me like no tomorrow. When she was a waitress before becoming the GM of the restaurant she could go to a table of 12 and take their app
orders, entree orders and drink orders and not write one down and never get it wrong. It was truly amazing to watch. But the crash was also horrific. Now knowing what I know. All the signs were there.

About a year after we broke up. I gave it another try but once again it didn't work. We remained friends and would sometime hang out without any sex. Which was hard because she was by far the best sexually that I have ever had. Multiple orgasms galore and truly loved sex. But it was best just to keep it that way. A few months later she had a brain an aneurysm while at our fitness club. She survived but was never the same after that. Her speech was slurred and her left arm was paralyzed. And her impulse control was diminished to the point where she was stealing things and picking cigarettes of the ground to smoke. Her parents refused to let me see her as they attached our relationship failures too me. I had to retreat. I didn't want to but there wasn't anything I could do. I resigned myself to driving by her parents house about once a week and seeing her drinking her morning coffee on their front porch. She didn't even know it was me I'm sure but it made me feel good knowing that she was still alive. One day after 10 years or so there was a for sale sign on their front lawn and I checked on line and found her obit. Her struggle was over.....
As tears fall from my eyes, you have no idea how soothing it is to hear you say the words . . . . . . . Her struggle was over

The pain never ever goes away, our hearts will forever hurt, but . . . . . . knowing the ones we have loved, who have suffered deeply, are in a much better place. Brings a ssnse of peace . . . . . if for only this moment

Closer to the warmth and love of the sun, close to god . . . . . .


meu coração sempre estará com minhas avós, minha mama and my beloved jewelsis . . . . .
 

HOLLYWOODG

Well-known member
Dec 11, 2016
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Think OP should have given her more of a chance. I have dated many women with mental health issues and the sex was generally off the charts.

Equally, as important is that these women shared a strong bond with me because I was there for them and did not judge.

If it doesn't work out that's a different story. But I think OP should have approached this with more of an open mind!
 

b2oreal

Active member
Jan 29, 2011
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Think OP should have given her more of a chance. I have dated many women with mental health issues and the sex was generally off the charts.

Equally, as important is that these women shared a strong bond with me because I was there for them and did not judge.

If it doesn't work out that's a different story. But I think OP should have approached this with more of an open mind!
Doesn't sound like you've tried to pursue a long term relationship with someone very seriously afflicted by bipolar or borderline personality disorder. It is very, very difficult. You must rewire your own brain to do it and be prepared to fail them no matter how hard you try. I have been doing it for a long time. I don't have much left in me
 

Euro Male

Well-known member
Nov 30, 2004
1,119
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concrete jungle of toronto . . .
Doesn't sound like you've tried to pursue a long term relationship with someone very seriously afflicted by bipolar or borderline personality disorder. It is very, very difficult. You must rewire your own brain to do it and be prepared to fail them no matter how hard you try. I have been doing it for a long time. I don't have much left in me
Equally, as important is that these women shared a strong bond with me because I was there for them and did not judge.
No No No bro, I think he absolutely has! HOLLYWOODG in his own special way is saying what many of us have been saying all along!

It's a struggle for EVERYONE. We ALL suffer . . . . . .
 

RZG

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2007
654
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93
Doesn't sound like you've tried to pursue a long term relationship with someone very seriously afflicted by bipolar or borderline personality disorder. It is very, very difficult. You must rewire your own brain to do it and be prepared to fail them no matter how hard you try. I have been doing it for a long time. I don't have much left in me
This is probably the best advice from my original thread and this one too. I don`t care how hot she is or about mind bending sex either. I believe you would always be totally on edge, like being around a 100 year old live artillery shell..you never know... What really concerns me is the very real possibility of a false accusation of domestic violence or sexual assault. You do not want to be tagged with one of those. As I mentioned she called herself crazy numerous times and not in a self deprecating funny way either. The man hating talk was far too alarming to let slide also. The final straw was the no money situation, never a wise idea to be with a woman who has no money. Lastly...has any man ever been with a woman who felt threatened and defensive when you were an absolute gentleman and treated her like Royalty?... I have now.
 

wazup

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Jun 12, 2010
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This isn't something I could bear to do, I guess I'm bipolar bear.
 

Robert Mugabe

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Nov 5, 2017
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Lastly...has any man ever been with a woman who felt threatened and defensive when you were an absolute gentleman and treated her like Royalty?...
Every one of them. I guess just have a somewhat different definition of" being an absolute gentleman".:yo:
 

shakenbake

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Nov 13, 2003
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Durham Region, Den of Iniquity
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I gave it an honest and open attempt. I took a balanced POV from all the replies on my previous post of the same name and I really wanted it to succeed. In my case all I can say is No. Ever see the recent film Bipolar Rock N Roller? It`s a brutally honest look at Mauro Ranallo, an announcer for boxing/combat sports, and his decades long struggle with Bipolar Disorder. He is really good btw. I truly had no idea, probably no one does, what a chaotic shambles things can become in 2 seconds dealing with this. As always..YMMV. I did a ton of research on it and found that 90% of marriages with an afflicted partner crash and burn, I understand why now. It is a severe mental illness and people with it have a ten to twenty year less lifespan on average, for numerous reasons. I feel very sad right now.
RZG, you are a true Gentleman and did your best. No need to feel sorry or bad about it. You had her and your best interests at heart. As for bipolar disorder, there are also varying degrees of BPD, and some are manageable, while others are not. Never regret that you were open to a relationship with someone who was a human being with an issue. I am sure that you are better and richer for the experience and the attempt to make it work.
 

RZG

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2007
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RZG, you are a true Gentleman and did your best. No need to feel sorry or bad about it. You had her and your best interests at heart. As for bipolar disorder, there are also varying degrees of BPD, and some are manageable, while others are not. Never regret that you were open to a relationship with someone who was a human being with an issue. I am sure that you are better and richer for the experience and the attempt to make it work.
FWIW.. I was at my Doctor this aft. and mentioned this latest foray with a civilian woman(she knows all about my hobbying, marvelous physician). Looking me right in the eyes she says ..." I hope you ran." She gave me great relief over that ending.
 

autumn96

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Jun 13, 2017
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FWIW.. I was at my Doctor this aft. and mentioned this latest foray with a civilian woman(she knows all about my hobbying, marvelous physician). Looking me right in the eyes she says ..." I hope you ran." She gave me great relief over that ending.
Women know what's up, dude. You need some good female friends that will vet your potential girlfriends for you. This has never failed me, and I've dodged a lot of bullets thanks to input from female friends.
 

Kawailuvr

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I am always amazed how some men are so good at making money but so bad at dealing and choosing women for themselves
 

Jasmine Raine

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This is probably the best advice from my original thread and this one too. I don`t care how hot she is or about mind bending sex either. I believe you would always be totally on edge, like being around a 100 year old live artillery shell..you never know... What really concerns me is the very real possibility of a false accusation of domestic violence or sexual assault. You do not want to be tagged with one of those. As I mentioned she called herself crazy numerous times and not in a self deprecating funny way either. The man hating talk was far too alarming to let slide also. The final straw was the no money situation, never a wise idea to be with a woman who has no money. Lastly...has any man ever been with a woman who felt threatened and defensive when you were an absolute gentleman and treated her like Royalty?... I have now.
A couple of things.

Everything you said about no money, man-hating talk, self-loathing talk, are all good reasons to not date someone. As for fear of accusation, that is with any woman as well. None that has anything to do with Bi-Polar. That could be said for quite a few of my neighbours who are classified as "normal". So you didn't actually decline to date this woman because of her disorder. I feell that is important.


Second, and I am not trying to be rude but we only have your word that you are an absolute gentleman. My ex would say the same thing to everyone. He had a job, a better house, car, way more money then I had. No past abuse in life, he was the poster child for the good white man. Yet behind closed doors, he was a monster. Drunk, physically, emotional and yes sexually abusive. The cycle of DV was very hard to get out of and even though I am out, every day I worry about his retaliation, of him showing up at my door, using some text app to send me messages in the middle of the night calling me a cunt. This man was so sick, he would be fighting with me while being a perfect gentleman on text with another woman. I'm begging, screaming for him to leave my house, not our shared house, MY house. He plants his ass on the couch and says call the cops while doing this texting. The woman on the other end of the texts thinks she is getting to know a great guy, who is a gentleman, with a good job, good looking, funny, etc.

So while you say you are what you are, and I'm not saying you are anything like my ex, we only have your word and for me at least, that is not enough to answer your last question. Hope that makes sense.
 
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