Like the dying old man over John Cleese's shoulder in Holy Grail, you're not fooling anyone. Come out of the closet, embrace your Calabrian self. Stop being a false pasticcino.
Just because I speak some Italian that does not mean I am a greasy sweaty guy that grabs my crotch and uses vernaculars like "Mah what, Mingya". I grew up in the Town of Mount Royal district of Montreal near Graham Blvd. ( a few blocks away from where Kevin O'Leary grew up ) In my school we were required to study German, Latin and Italian. We had exchange classes with the kids in Little Italy. Go to Google maps and you will see it is a 10 minute walking distance from Graham Blvd. to St. Laurent Street and St. Zotique Street in Little Italy. The Italian girls down there seem to prefer the TMR guys.
I don't have your lofty pedigree, I'm a greasy dago fresh off of the boat and proud of it. I had a great time growing up on St Clair Av W, then my parents moved to a predominantly English neighbourhood and I had to fight my way to school. I had my nose broken several times but I eventually put a stop to the bullying...grew up too big and ugly. Mount Royal notwithstanding, you're still a Calabresi to me...consider it a compliment.
Mingia come si pizzica...and show the whole scene.