Seeking Arrangement - My advice

[rocco_s]

To each their own, Rocco.

Gifts/tips are never mandatory nor should be expected by an SP or SB.

I do agree that if SB's (or SP's) guilt trip you into feeling obligated for either, move on to the next.

Depending on what you want, either variety or one SB or SP for your monthly budget (seems like you're the variety type since you don't want emotional connection) there are many SB's and SP's who would be happy with a monthly flat rate.

Just something to think about.

Thank you for your comments. My modus operandi of this thread is to help fellow terb members. I want to point out all my errors. I am sure my personality type does not resonate with other members but there is some value to point out my failures.

My main point is sps sbs mpa etc are not individuals you should develop ANY emotional relationship with. You should view it as a purely transactional relationship.

[G.D. Gentleman]

I also had to deal with idiots misconstruing my posts on another thread, the thread was about strippers, and I used to dance.

Still confused on this one Lovelynn. The posts I made that you are referring to in that thread - in summary - you did confirm from your own experience that you did date several gents that you met at the club.

In earlier posts I confirmed I had done the same with a few ladies I met as dancers over the years.

I was only then encouraging the readers to understand that while this can happen - it's very rare and the best approach is to simply be a great client and enjoy the dancer experience.

You then posted your concerns to the effect I was disagreeing with you, hence I was confused as I was actually agreeing with you whole heartily that it's best to be just a good client in the clubs - and I also apologized to you for the confusion.

Take care Lovelynn.

[Lovely_Lovelynn]

Still confused on this one Lovelynn. The posts I made that you are referring to in that thread - in summary - you did confirm from your own experience that you did date several gents that you met at the club.

In earlier posts I confirmed I had done the same with a few ladies I met as dancers over the years.

I was only then encouraging the readers to understand that while this can happen - it's very rare and the best approach is to simply be a great client and enjoy the dancer experience.

You then posted your concerns to the effect I was disagreeing with you, hence I was confused as I was actually agreeing with you whole heartily that it's best to be just a good client in the clubs - and I also apologized to you for the confusion.

Take care Lovelynn.

Where did I say I met my ex-boyfriends in a club as a dancer? I met them as an SP. Whether you agree with me or not is irrelevant. I don't care if anyone agrees with me, I'm not posting for people to agree with me!

I post to bring to light a woman's perspective, from my personal experiences, to try to help you guys....and I don't appreciate my words being misconstrued, twisted, and having you put words in my mouth.

To have it insinuated that my posts are being made to prevent losing business from SB's is ridiculous, hence why I made it clear that there is no comparison for what an SB will agree to for an overnight, and what my rates are.

Again, I'm having to defend myself for my words being misconstrued.

It seems like you guys like to argue- I don't.

And that is why I'm not wasting my time or breath anymore.

G.D. I appreciate your public and private apology, but continuing to put words in my mouth shows me how sorry you are.

[rocco_s]

Women on there are a joke that want to exploit men.

Alot of them are. Some are not. The key is to find the right one. Avoid the ones who play mind games with you. Dont ever fall for gifting your sbs. Your money is better spent donating to a worthy cause. The only items I have felt good about purchasing my sbs was text books for university and laptops.

[Lovely_Lovelynn]

Alot of them are. Some are not. The key is to find the right one. Avoid the ones who play mind games with you. Dont ever fall for gifting your sbs. Your money is better spent donating to a worthy cause. The only items I have felt good about purchasing my sbs was text books for university and laptops.

Money well spent Rocco, and for a very good cause. I tip my hat to you.

[mellowjello]

How is the market for older guys such as myself, for university types.
Look much younger than my age, good shape, attractive.
Don't want a steady relationship and don't like prowling for one night stands.

[Lovely_Lovelynn]

How is the market for older guys such as myself, for university types.
Look much younger than my age, good shape, attractive.
Don't want a steady relationship and don't like prowling for one night stands.

There's a good number of young ladies that actually prefer mature, refined gents.

When I was 21 I was in a loving, committed relationship with a gentleman who was 27 years older than me.

I still to this day reminisce about all the wonderful memories and time we shared together.

[mellowjello]

There's a good number of young ladies that actually prefer mature, refined gents.

When I was 21 I was in a loving, committed relationship with a gentleman who was 27 years older than me.

I still to this day reminisce about all the wonderful memories and time we shared together.

That's interesting. I had a similar relationship with exactly same age difference, me the older one.
I'm about 10 years older than that now, still young at heart though.

[G.D. Gentleman]

Where did I say I met my ex-boyfriends in a club as a dancer? I met them as an SP. Whether you agree with me or not is irrelevant. I don't care if anyone agrees with me, I'm not posting for people to agree with me!

I post to bring to light a woman's perspective, from my personal experiences, to try to help you guys....and I don't appreciate my words being misconstrued, twisted, and having you put words in my mouth.

To have it insinuated that my posts are being made to prevent losing business from SB's is ridiculous, hence why I made it clear that there is no comparison for what an SB will agree to for an overnight, and what my rates are.

Again, I'm having to defend myself for my words being misconstrued.

It seems like you guys like to argue- I don't.

And that is why I'm not wasting my time or breath anymore.

G.D. I appreciate your public and private apology, but continuing to put words in my mouth shows me how sorry you are.

Ah, now we have clarity - I can explain.

First, and most important - I have not and do not believe you contributing to this thread is anyway comparing SB to SP offerings. You are bringing your experience as a SB to the thread and we appreciate. Please understand that as an active SP currently it can be confusing at times for us simple gents. :-)

I now see my error in the Stripper thread. When you posted:

No, I never said that, in fact, I have had several long term relationships with men I met as client's, and they ended for various reasons.

I read this as met as Strip Club Clients. As you have posted here, you met them as a SP and hence you felt I was putting words in your mouth. Please understand as we were discussing in a Strip Club thread when you referenced meeting them as clients - one would assume you meant as a strip club client.

On that note, hopefully this helps clear up the confusion Ms. Lovelynn and take care.

[G.D. Gentleman]

How is the market for older guys such as myself, for university types.
Look much younger than my age, good shape, attractive.
Don't want a steady relationship and don't like prowling for one night stands.

How old are you? older come mean 40's, 50's, 60's....and how old do you 'look' if you can share what typically are guessed to be?

[mellowjello]

How old are you? older come mean 40's, 50's, 60's....and how old do you 'look' if you can share what typically are guessed to be?

I'm 60.
I get 50, sometimes even a bit younger.
I know to a younger guy it means nothing. To a guy my age it's gold....music to the ears.

[G.D. Gentleman]

Alot of them are. Some are not. The key is to find the right one. Avoid the ones who play mind games with you. Dont ever fall for gifting your sbs. Your money is better spent donating to a worthy cause. The only items I have felt good about purchasing my sbs was text books for university and laptops.

I agree rocco, it's amazing when you surprise your SB (or regular SP) with a gift that is highly useful. With my work I often have access to reasonable cost on quality laptops and have lost count how many I have gifted (SB life and just friends/family) over the years. Once for a long term SB I happen to come across 3 identical laptops which I cleaned up/loaded up and gave to her so she had a new laptop and she gave the other two to her parents who shared an older desktop in the house.

To perhaps help explain rocco's advice, be wary of giving gifts 'early' in a new arrangement with a SB - they could be planning a quick departure from the arrangement and trying to maximize what they get while lying about being interested in long term with you. You also run the danger of setting expectations that you will gift them 'every week' along with your PPM which may be more than you had hoped to agree to in the arrangement.

And yes, even much later in an arrangement, giving a gift can be delicate to the balance of a good arrangement as it can even then change expectations of frequency and possible increase in value of the gifting each time. rocco, myself and others speaking about gifting in this thread simply share past experiences to help those new to all of this.

[G.D. Gentleman]

I'm 60.
I get 50, sometimes even a bit younger.
I know to a younger guy it means nothing. To a guy my age it's gold....music to the ears.

That helps.

I know a few gents in their 50's who have SB's. What they have shared with me when we chatted over dinners together are things like - SP's get used to fairly quickly seeing men in their 30's through to 60's as they generally are the SP clients for various reasons (more disposable income, lower interest in traditional dating and the SP route works best for them, etc) so they (SP's) respond really well to older gents like yourself.

For SB's - who do not have the experience I just spoke of - especially first timers SB's - may struggle with it. Some list in their profile the age range they are looking for which is most helpful (ie. 30-45). Some are naturally attracted to the older gents by default. From my friends, what they found is SB's who have been in a few arrangements before, mirroring the SP's experience, open up to and even seek out the older gents like yourself.

The best bet if I might suggest, is going on the website and if you prefer, keep your photos as private, but do have some good photos of yourself there (accurate and variety showing you up close, full standing, etc) and pick ladies who list age ranges of interest that include yours and if they don't list their interest, get a feel from their profile words and worse case - just say hello and be ready to discuss the age gap in the emails if she replies - to ensure both of you are comfortable with it.

[Lovely_Lovelynn]

Originally Posted by rocco_sThank you for your feedback. I see WK all over your comments here. What's wrong with girls getting paid to have sex for less and are okay with it? This thread is all about how not being taken advantage of.

If you dont like some of the comments you should move on. The point is you dont need to pay 1500 or more every weekend for overnights when there are plenty of girls who just wanted to be wined and dined.

I see alot of sps who are not happy with this thread as it may hinder their business model. I would submit the good sps will still have tons of business even with the low rates of some amazing sbs. I still utilize sps from time to time.

There is nothing sexist or misogynistic about this thread. It is all business. Treat your sb arrangement like a transaction versus being caught up in an emotional one.

In regards to Voldemort. Please review her comments to the various members here. He started with disparaging comments of various members including myself. I have refrained from responding to her personal attacks as have other members.

Btw. My personal fetish for bdsm has nothing to do with sbs. I get numerous messages from members who share my interests but are afraid about being judged.

Originally Posted by Lovely_LovelynnExcuse me?

I charge between $2000-$2500 for overnights. No, your lowballing SB's isn't taking any business from me, in fact, they can have you.

What you guys are giving these girls for a whole night, I make in an hour with my regular rate of $300hr.



Wow! Gee, really? That's so awesome!

Now, please get lost. You're as annoying and insecure as dawnlee. This thread is about advice on the sugar lifestyle, not an argument on what you believe someone else's market rate should be.

Originally Posted by Lovely_Lovelynn
Excuse me?

I charge between $2000-$2500 for overnights. No, your lowballing SB's isn't taking any business from me, in fact, they can have you.

What you guys are giving these girls for a whole night, I make in an hour with my regular rate of $300hr.

So, no, don't spin this around on us SP's as if SB's are eating off our plate, thanks.




This particular post was a bit preachy and self-serving but nevertheless, I for one don't mind hearing tips from former SBs.

G.D. I never said it was you that insinuated that. Glad we were able to clear things up and finally understand each other's perspective and point.

Hope you are enjoying this beautiful Thursday afternoon.

[mellowjello]

That helps.

I know a few gents in their 50's who have SB's. What they have shared with me when we chatted over dinners together are things like - SP's get used to fairly quickly seeing men in their 30's through to 60's as they generally are the SP clients for various reasons (more disposable income, lower interest in traditional dating and the SP route works best for them, etc) so they (SP's) respond really well to older gents like yourself.

For SB's - who do not have the experience I just spoke of - especially first timers SB's - may struggle with it. Some list in their profile the age range they are looking for which is most helpful (ie. 30-45). Some are naturally attracted to the older gents by default. From my friends, what they found is SB's who have been in a few arrangements before, mirroring the SP's experience, open up to and even seek out the older gents like yourself.

The best bet if I might suggest, is going on the website and if you prefer, keep your photos as private, but do have some good photos of yourself there (accurate and variety showing you up close, full standing, etc) and pick ladies who list age ranges of interest that include yours and if they don't list their interest, get a feel from their profile words and worse case - just say hello and be ready to discuss the age gap in the emails if she replies - to ensure both of you are comfortable with it.

Thanks for the great feedback.
I do appreciate the initial apprehension a young woman would have.
I find that once I've seen someone a number of times (social, work situations) or just chatted with them in a harmless situation,
they drop their guard and I feel the vibes. All my connections with much younger SPs have been awesome.
I just wanted to know if I have a chance to get my foot through the door with these arrangements
without turning it into a full time job.

[Tony2000]

Thanks for the great feedback.
I do appreciate the initial apprehension a young woman would have.
I find that once I've seen someone a number of times (social, work situations) or just chatted with them in a harmless situation,
they drop their guard and I feel the vibes. All my connections with much younger SPs have been awesome.
I just wanted to know if I have a chance to get my foot through the door with these arrangements
without turning it into a full time job.

Don't worry! Just take the plunge and give it a try. I am mid-50s and have not had any trouble lining up SBs. My current SB is 21 and a university student. Sure, some will not respond to you due to your age but many others will, leaving you with a number of choices. Good luck.

[bandit2238]

I'm sorry I still don't get the reasoning for not gifting your SB's, if you have the money and they are asking for items they don't already have don't see the big deal in that.
I donate to various charities also but still don't have any issue to give my SB's on there birthday or Christmas jewelry, designer clothing and handbags and yes even a car. That was for a single mom looking to get back on her feet and now has a very successful job and two happy kids that I still see from time to time. We can't take our money with us.

[rocco_s]

I'm sorry I still don't get the reasoning for not gifting your SB's, if you have the money and they are asking for items they don't already have don't see the big deal in that.
I donate to various charities also but still don't have any issue to give my SB's on there birthday or Christmas jewelry, designer clothing and handbags and yes even a car. That was for a single mom looking to get back on her feet and now has a very successful job and two happy kids that I still see from time to time. We can't take our money with us.

Good for you. I prefer to give my money to charities, relatives and employees. I have no idea why you would buy designer clothing or purses for your sb. It is a very bad idea to other members are diving in for the first time.

I have had sbs saying their other sd buys them rings, purses, watches etc. I am talking about a 5k or more purse here. This makes no sense and is a bad idea in an sb/sd relationship. You arent getting any preferential treatment by purchasing lavish gifts like I unfortunately did at the start.

If you guys have extra money - utilize it on your family, friends or excellent employees. There is no roi on gifting your sb.

[bandit2238]

Good for you. I prefer to give my money to charities, relatives and employees. I have no idea why you would buy designer clothing or purses for your sb. It is a very bad idea to other members are diving in for the first time.

I have had sbs saying their other sd buys them rings, purses, watches etc. I am talking about a 5k or more purse here. This makes no sense and is a bad idea in an sb/sd relationship. You arent getting any preferential treatment by purchasing lavish gifts like I unfortunately did at the start.

If you guys have extra money - utilize it on your family, friends or excellent employees. There is no roi on gifting your sb.

I always make sure my "family,friends & employees" are well taken care of.
My SB's don't EVER have other SD's so i do get the preferential treatment, sorry it didn't work out for you in the beginning that is why I a prefer more mature older SB over the younger university type's.
You have the right to treat them how you want as do I, but to tell newcomer's to the arrangement scene that buying gifts is a no no that is just your opinion not everyone's.

[rocco_s]

I always make sure my "family,friends & employees" are well taken care of.
My SB's don't EVER have other SD's so i do get the preferential treatment, sorry it didn't work out for you in the beginning that is why I a prefer more mature older SB over the younger university type's.
You have the right to treat them how you want as do I, but to tell newcomer's to the arrangement scene that buying gifts is a no no that is just your opinion not everyone's.

That is my opinion and it is a wise one looking back. Most guys here are seeing girls that are mid 20s which is an age group you are not seeing.

My point is never to set a precedent by gifting your sb or bailing them out of bad situations right at the start. It is best to have things clean and clear cut.

[Tony2000]

I agree that it's not my role to bail her out. And if she started demanding luxury purses then I would drop her like a hot potato.
Having said that, I think it's important to get her a birthday and Christmas gift. Just basic courtesy and a thank you for being wonderful company throughout the year!

[G.D. Gentleman]

G.D. I never said it was you that insinuated that. Glad we were able to clear things up and finally understand each other's perspective and point.

Hope you are enjoying this beautiful Thursday afternoon.

Thank you Lovelynn for your reply.

[G.D. Gentleman]

I always make sure my "family,friends & employees" are well taken care of.
My SB's don't EVER have other SD's so i do get the preferential treatment, sorry it didn't work out for you in the beginning that is why I a prefer more mature older SB over the younger university type's.
You have the right to treat them how you want as do I, but to tell newcomer's to the arrangement scene that buying gifts is a no no that is just your opinion not everyone's.

Hello bandit,

Perhaps a bit more refinement to rocco's advice is to hold off on gifting your SB until XX dates into an arrangement to ensure it is working out for both you and the lovely lady at the foundation, a solid arrangement that is a win-win for both - before introducing gifts.

I sense from your posts that while you are very generous to your ladies of choice, you also do your best to give useful and long term impacting gifts and do not give them too quickly in a brand new arrangement.

[rocco_s]

Hello bandit,

Perhaps a bit more refinement to rocco's advice is to hold off on gifting your SB until XX dates into an arrangement to ensure it is working out for both you and the lovely lady at the foundation, a solid arrangement that is a win-win for both - before introducing gifts.

I sense from your posts that while you are very generous to your ladies of choice, you also do your best to give useful and long term impacting gifts and do not give them too quickly in a brand new arrangement.

Well said GDG. I was one of those fools gifting my sb at the start with useless designer items. I see myself in these guys in yorkville and yorkdale all the time.

Have you ever seen a wishlist from sps? They resemble some of the useless items I have bought my previous sbs. Buying these flamboyant gifts for your sb does not make you a bigger man. It makes you look like a fool like I probably looked like to the salespeople selling me and my previous sb these items. I wonder how hard they were laughing at me.

Dont make the dumb mistakes I have made and form an emotional attachment. One of my previous sbs asked for shopping trips and was trying to push me into purchasing items for her. Her reasoning was her other sd bought her lavish items. It was crazy what he bought her. My response was that he should get me some items as well. Suffice to say she was not pleased.

Dont fall for any of these tricks. Keep it pay per meet.

I also wonder what these guys are paying their sbs in terms of monthly total cost. It baffles me anyone would pay a sb 10k a month. Is this allowance common?