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Beautifully crafted sentences

Big Rig

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May 6, 2009
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There was a time when people spoke in beautifully crafted sentences for nothing else stirred them.



She was not doing much when I first noticed her as she waited for the bus, leaning against a lamp post while holding up the universe.
 
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Big Rig

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May 6, 2009
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I wanted to say hello, but I feared if she rejected me I would fall into fragmemts then she would have to pick them all up in the right order.
 
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Big Rig

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So then I layed down to dream a beautiful dream that left me where I lay; I just want her to know that she inspired it.
 

Insidious Von

My head is my home
Sep 12, 2007
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So then I layed down to sleep a beautiful dream that left me where I lay; I just want her to know that she inspired it.
Then I gathered my resolve, this was an opportunity i couldn't let slip, I approached her with the daring of an Errol Flynn.
 

Big Rig

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In that dream I tried to undress her with my mind, but I could not for it would have been sacrilege, like blowing up a Cathedral.
 
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Big Rig

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Damnation means nothing to those who have experienced the infinity of such a moment, even if from afar, for it shall outlast the universe.
 
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Big Rig

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I would have loved to have held that women of the lamp post and watched as she blossomed like a flower, but the reality is she would have wilted and fled screaming from my unsolicited advance. I hate reality.
 
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superstar_88

The Chiseler
Jan 4, 2008
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and your when what should be use is you're (you are). How are kids passing high school English these days. Also using could of when one should be using could have.
 

Meesh

It was VICIOUS!
Jun 3, 2002
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Toronto
I know, your suspension of disbelief has busted a leaf spring...
 

Zoot Allures

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Jan 23, 2017
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“He smiled understandingly-much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced--or seemed to face--the whole eternal world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Dicaprio plays Gatsby and gives that smile


 

Big Rig

Well-known member
May 6, 2009
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I did not know that.

Parting is such flatulent sorrow. Smell ya later.
Did not mean to hurt your feelings my esteemed colleague. Let me more specific in my criticism.


" I gathered my resolve" and "this was an opportunity i couldn't let slip" are cliches. Avoid or, if used, do so with intent.
 
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Ashley Madison
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