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lexicon4u

Member
Jan 8, 2014
752
1
18
Interesting. I would think this hobby is actually constructive for someone in your shoes as you meet lots of females get needed touch and sex relief. You view it as a bad addiction. I guess it is what you make of it.
In the very short run, it does make you comfy dealing with women in general, but then you quickly realize that that real world has a lot of challenges and you get lonely, and start going back to escorts etc.

I think for some, doing it here and there probably doesn't affect them that much but I was definitely using it as a crutch and was easily spending more than 5 or 6 K a year on this thing while hiding it from my family and friends, who were moving on to getting married and having kids etc. It was all really getting to me and i made a decision to stop and also blacklist myself from Asian Sexy Babe and I also threw away my Backstage Theatre pass. The only thing ive done since is spend a little on webcam girls but we're talking max like $100 over a 3 month span which is peanuts.

I still come back to this site cuz I get tempted but overall im tired of being viewed as a wallet and some pathetic loser by the girls in this industry, cuz you know that's what they really think.

My recent date on Sunday went sour, and I'm feeling rather shitty and fragile but I can't go back to escorts or strippers.
 

Big Rig

Well-known member
May 6, 2009
1,927
69
48
All true. Facing rejection is Still hard in practice and reality for some. It’s hard not to give a fuck with a girl you like, because if you like her, you care on some level.
Is the following scenario what you are talking about?

I went to a mat workout last night and a babe with a great booty sat on a mat next to mine. I tried not to notice her tush as that would make her uncomfortable and scare her off, but I am sure she noticed me notice, but that is good as long as you do not hard stare. A quick notice is a compliment.

So, after the hard workout, she is talking to her GF and I have to decide whether I should make contact. If she had signaled with a smile or look etc then no problem but she had not.

So, I waited till there was a pause in their conversation then walked close by then said "I thought that was an excellent workout. What do you think?" She seemed to deliberately ignore my comment by engaging in more convo with her GF.

Is this the type of rejection you are talking about? How would you have emotionally reacted? To me, it has no meaning other than a babe I lust for apparently does not reciprocate. This is to be expected a lot of times. She could be engaged, a lesbian, thinks I am not her type, shy, etc or simply does not talk to strangers. The list goes on. I doubt she thought I was a monster that disgusted her. And, even if she did, I know she is wrong.

I think I have made valid points, correct me if I am wrong :



You have issues with reality vs the sensitivity of your ego (the part of the psychic apparatus that experiences and reacts to the outside world)


One success will quickly make you forget all your failures (which may be imaginary anyway) , so soldier on


I enjoy talking this stuff out as it forces me to think deeper, so if you want to talk some more you are welcome to
 
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frankcastle

Well-known member
Feb 4, 2003
17,887
239
63
Super important so I'd like to reiterate the point.....

People need to learn to deal with rejection. Just as you've decided to approach a specific woman based on your tastes she is making the same decision for herself. Often times you'll have different wants/needs.

You're no worse off than before.

But that doesn't mean working a room and asking every woman.
 

|2 /-\ | /|/

Well-known member
Mar 5, 2015
6,515
1,132
113
i hears, Harvey use to be a cool place to meet women

100% Agree and place was frequented by god sent angels :angel:

Used to be my favourite joint to study and “relax” before exams. Much love for this place, and probably the inception and birth of my most dearest hobby <3 A truly holly place indeed :hail:
 

Frontstreet

Senior Member
May 16, 2016
743
595
93
Toronto, Vancouver
I think this hobby is an addiction to those who drop up to five, or even six figures, a year on it. A genuine destructive hobby if you use it as a substitute for a real relationship.

I use it occasionally on the road as that is my desire but not my crutch. Hobby is best used to satisfy needs while seeking a relationship, or the occasional brief dalliance among Wordsworth's daffodils for discovery, but not meant to be a substitute for the real thing.

To me "daffodils" conjures SPs or MPAs

"For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils."
Lol...I wonder if Wordsworth would agree or be turning in his grave...
 

Big Rig

Well-known member
May 6, 2009
1,927
69
48
Lol...I wonder if Wordsworth would agree or be turning in his grave...
Wordsworth had his affairs. Poems can be interpreted in several ways, but I see a reveling of female beauty and eroticism in his writings

From 'Nutting'

"Nutting" is a self-contained narrative, as complete and satisfying as a fairy-story told by the Brothers Grimm. It emerges from silence, as the indented first line suggests, and it finally returns to silence.. Not until the closing lines does an unexpected "turn" occur, which changes the nature of the poem. That sudden apostrophe to the "dearest Maiden" reveals that the poet has all the while imagined a silent listener. He has not merely been describing a remembered incident for his own pleasure and edification, but composing, in beautiful, reflective, un-moralising language, a parable – a lesson tenderly set out before a beloved child. The whole thought is re-cast, and intensified. "Nutting" turns out to be a wonderful hybrid, and might even be considered a kind of Conversation Poem, the genre Wordsworth's friend Coleridge made his own.

As in all his profoundest poems, the moral "story" is seamlessly entwined with the psychological one, and both are realised through a rich mixture of naturalistic and idealised pastoral imagery. The "fairy-tale" qualities are apparent from the start. The poem begins with a quest. The young boy sets off, armed with his nutting-crook and wallet: he is dressed in raggedy old clothes, for the practical reasons proposed by the "frugal dame" - but an element of disguise ("More ragged than need was!") is strongly suggested. Having forced his way through the brambles and over the "pathless rocks" the young adventurer finds the treasure he is seeking. And, although there are no monsters or goblins in sight, and the lesson is purely psychological, he learns like any young hero that treasure is not as easily taken as he had believed.

Both the laden hazel-tree and the "dear nook unvisited" have magical qualities, and a moral suggestiveness which the boy partly responds to. He defers gratification, experiences sheer delight in the loveliness and abundance of his surroundings. But then another, more primitive self breaks through and lays waste to the trees. The hero of this fable is also its monster.

The movement of the syntax over the blank verse lines has been almost relaxed until this moment, rhythmically one of abrupt high drama: "Then up I rose." No reason is given: none is needed. A natural human impulse drives the boy to jump up and rake the trees of their hazel-nuts. After he has seized the hoard, the sight of the "silent trees" themselves and "the intruding sky" awakens another response, a terrible sense of guilt at the destruction caused by his innocent greed. That he has "deformed and sullied" the "bower" is the wisdom, the "knowledge of good and evil", that he has painfully achieved – and so he imparts the lesson to his listener.

And who is she? It's suggested here that there was a "beloved Friend" named Lucy who, as "a ravager of the autumn woods", reminded Wordsworth of himself as a child. The beautiful imagery of the hidden violets and the stones "fleeced with moss" may well link "Nutting" to the "Lucy" poem, "She Dwelt Among the Untrodden Ways", in which the "maid" herself is compared to "a violet by a mossy stone". The fact that a young female is being given the warning seems to undermine the narrowly sexual interpretation that "Nutting" sometimes attracts. Of course, as a parable, it can contain many metaphors, and defloration is one of them. But both genders can be rapacious, after all, and this poem is not about rape, in the usual sense, but rapacity.

The lingering, opulent scene-setting in the "dear nook" section is impressive, but most remarkable are the changes of mood and pace in the 14 concluding lines – a sonnet's-worth of compressed drama – that culminate in a miraculously structured tercet. The syntax here is so arranged that the poet seems to be extending an invitation rather than a prohibition: "In gentleness of heart, with gentle hand/ Touch …" The line-break and the comma-and-dash punctuation that create pauses before and after "Touch" are wonderfully judged. That word, like a delicate finger-tip, restores the poem's human balance, bringing us out of shame and degradation and back to the initial reverence and "wise restraint" that had been practised without understanding. Now the poet and his listener fully understand the respect and moderation required of them in their dealings with nature. The lesson is emphasised by a new turn into enchantment. "Numen in est" as the Romans said: a spirit is present. And with that the poem slips into a silence not only magical but sacred.


Lord Byron, his contempoary, would also write of sexual innocence while being a sexual profligate so why not Wordsworth ?


She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

II.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o’er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

III.

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
 

Frontstreet

Senior Member
May 16, 2016
743
595
93
Toronto, Vancouver
Wordsworth had his affairs. Poems can be interpreted in several ways, but I see a reveling of female beauty and eroticism in his writings

From 'Nutting'

"Nutting" is a self-contained narrative, as complete and satisfying as a fairy-story told by the Brothers Grimm. It emerges from silence, as the indented first line suggests, and it finally returns to silence.. Not until the closing lines does an unexpected "turn" occur, which changes the nature of the poem. That sudden apostrophe to the "dearest Maiden" reveals that the poet has all the while imagined a silent listener. He has not merely been describing a remembered incident for his own pleasure and edification, but composing, in beautiful, reflective, un-moralising language, a parable – a lesson tenderly set out before a beloved child. The whole thought is re-cast, and intensified. "Nutting" turns out to be a wonderful hybrid, and might even be considered a kind of Conversation Poem, the genre Wordsworth's friend Coleridge made his own.

As in all his profoundest poems, the moral "story" is seamlessly entwined with the psychological one, and both are realised through a rich mixture of naturalistic and idealised pastoral imagery. The "fairy-tale" qualities are apparent from the start. The poem begins with a quest. The young boy sets off, armed with his nutting-crook and wallet: he is dressed in raggedy old clothes, for the practical reasons proposed by the "frugal dame" - but an element of disguise ("More ragged than need was!") is strongly suggested. Having forced his way through the brambles and over the "pathless rocks" the young adventurer finds the treasure he is seeking. And, although there are no monsters or goblins in sight, and the lesson is purely psychological, he learns like any young hero that treasure is not as easily taken as he had believed.

Both the laden hazel-tree and the "dear nook unvisited" have magical qualities, and a moral suggestiveness which the boy partly responds to. He defers gratification, experiences sheer delight in the loveliness and abundance of his surroundings. But then another, more primitive self breaks through and lays waste to the trees. The hero of this fable is also its monster.

The movement of the syntax over the blank verse lines has been almost relaxed until this moment, rhythmically one of abrupt high drama: "Then up I rose." No reason is given: none is needed. A natural human impulse drives the boy to jump up and rake the trees of their hazel-nuts. After he has seized the hoard, the sight of the "silent trees" themselves and "the intruding sky" awakens another response, a terrible sense of guilt at the destruction caused by his innocent greed. That he has "deformed and sullied" the "bower" is the wisdom, the "knowledge of good and evil", that he has painfully achieved – and so he imparts the lesson to his listener.

And who is she? It's suggested here that there was a "beloved Friend" named Lucy who, as "a ravager of the autumn woods", reminded Wordsworth of himself as a child. The beautiful imagery of the hidden violets and the stones "fleeced with moss" may well link "Nutting" to the "Lucy" poem, "She Dwelt Among the Untrodden Ways", in which the "maid" herself is compared to "a violet by a mossy stone". The fact that a young female is being given the warning seems to undermine the narrowly sexual interpretation that "Nutting" sometimes attracts. Of course, as a parable, it can contain many metaphors, and defloration is one of them. But both genders can be rapacious, after all, and this poem is not about rape, in the usual sense, but rapacity.

The lingering, opulent scene-setting in the "dear nook" section is impressive, but most remarkable are the changes of mood and pace in the 14 concluding lines – a sonnet's-worth of compressed drama – that culminate in a miraculously structured tercet. The syntax here is so arranged that the poet seems to be extending an invitation rather than a prohibition: "In gentleness of heart, with gentle hand/ Touch …" The line-break and the comma-and-dash punctuation that create pauses before and after "Touch" are wonderfully judged. That word, like a delicate finger-tip, restores the poem's human balance, bringing us out of shame and degradation and back to the initial reverence and "wise restraint" that had been practised without understanding. Now the poet and his listener fully understand the respect and moderation required of them in their dealings with nature. The lesson is emphasised by a new turn into enchantment. "Numen in est" as the Romans said: a spirit is present. And with that the poem slips into a silence not only magical but sacred.


Lord Byron, his contempoary, would also write of sexual innocence while being a sexual profligate so why not Wordsworth ?


She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

II.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o’er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

III.

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

I see your point...the imagery and language can be considered erotic, but I’m not turned on by the tone, sound, rhythm or structure of Dafodils.
 

Big Rig

Well-known member
May 6, 2009
1,927
69
48
I see your point...the imagery and language can be considered erotic, but I’m not turned on by the tone, sound, rhythm or structure of Dafodils.
Probably is not meant to be erotic. I am using poetic licence.

But , "Nutting " strongly hints of deflowering. He "raped" the nut trees
 

spraggamuffin

Well-known member
Oct 6, 2006
3,296
160
63

kkelso

Well-known member
Apr 27, 2003
2,472
28
48
Figure out what kind of woman you want, and get into the environment where they are. I like grad students, so I became an adjunct professor. Voila!

KK
 

Big Rig

Well-known member
May 6, 2009
1,927
69
48
Figure out what kind of woman you want, and get into the environment where they are. I like grad students, so I became an adjunct professor. Voila!

KK
Women are thinking the same thing. She is thinking "I got me an adjunct, even though I wanted a full"

In other words, go where women might go to meet the kind of man you are, not who you wannabe.


This is an example of how I met a very attractive secretary, although I doubt she became a secretary to meet a truck driver LOL. But, I present myself well with appearance and my politeness and social ability. She saw that and looked past the reputation of my profession. This is how it happened :

I had noticed her with admiring quick glances (not a lear) the few times I went to the factory she worked at. No words were ever exchanged. Then, one fateful day, she came into the warehouse to give me paperwork then threw it down and almost screamed I have to phone Chuck (my dispatcher) then she pretended to storm off. Her flakey behaviour was aberrant and was designed to get me to notice her. (What is a women supposed to do, come right out and say she wants you to take her out when we had never even spoke?) She knew I noticed her and this was her response. Later I went into the office and said Chuck says you and I should go have a coffee.

Moral is it can happen anywhere so be aware of signaling on her part. Also be aware of signals of non interest and respect that as well. I have given many admiring glances that have been rebuffed through the communication of simple body language. .
 
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