Wow. It is a unique terror living through this. All 5 kids are in bed, all under 9 years of age...you hear the muffled argument that wakes you up and slowly escalates in volume. Then the unmistakable "crack!" Of a blow being delivered. A cry. A scream. "Crack!" Your sisters sneak into the boys bedroom and jump into bed with their brothers. They are shaking. Nobody dare make a sound. More muffled shouting...then "crack!"...then unmistakable mum's voice shrieking "Go ahead! Shoot me with your gun!!" Then "crack!", "crack!"....a pause..."crack!". Then faint crying. A door slams. None of the 5 of us dare move or make a sound. The dim light reveals wide eyed kids each of us in our own paralytic bubble of fear. Afraid to move. Afraid to breathe. All you hear now is your own heart beating out of your chest. You don't know how you get to daylight, as a minute seems to last longer than an hour. At breakfast you see your bruised disheveled black eyed mother. She sits us down brusquely. She sternly warns us not to peep a word to anyone at all because nothing, and she means nothing, that ever goes on in this house is to ever leave this house. None of us say a word. Even to each other. But we look at each other. And we know.Its not the family that defines you its you and what you are born with.
When I was about 6 or 7 years old I saw my dad beating up my mom...I cant remember how long it lasted but I know it bothered me a lot...one day I couldn't handle it anymore and I jumped on my dads back and started pounding on his head as he was hitting her. I saw my dads eyes and saw fear...he saw my eyes and all that he saw was blood. After this incident he never laid a hand on her again nor did he ever lay a hand on me. Its your choice if you allow the ills of your family to fuck you up and infiltrate your soul or if you want to stay true to your core regardless of what it is.
As for the OP i agree a total troll post.
Wow...this is incredibly vivid and beautiful how you described it. You almost exactly captured every little emotion and detail with perfection that I FELT IT as I read every word and almost relived it again reading your recollections. I could vividly see myself experiencing it through your words that it sent shivers down my spine and caused me to tear up because I feel exactly what you experienced because I can see the 5 of you going through that and I know how tough it must have been for you all. Although what you described above is almost exactly what I felt when my life felt threatened the 1st time..and this was 1st time my city was getting bombed. We needed to run to the basement because we felt the ground shaking from the blitz of rocket and mortars and gunfire outside our house and around the city. I was preparing for someone to bust open that door and just open fire with an automatic rifle at the 3 of us, and knowing the desperation for realizing that there is nothing I can do. I tried coming up with an exit strategy in my head and I recall that bubble feeling, especially feeling my heart beating so hard and fast also recall freezing up and exactly how you described it although I was also shaking uncontrollably because I thought that was it, this was my last day on this earth. Its also amazing how it heightens your senses into over drive when you actually in the moment feel threatened for your life like that.Wow. It is a unique terror living through this. All 5 kids are in bed, all under 9 years of age...you hear the muffled argument that wakes you up and slowly escalates in volume. Then the unmistakable "crack!" Of a blow being delivered. A cry. A scream. "Crack!" Your sisters sneak into the boys bedroom and jump into bed with their brothers. They are shaking. Nobody dare make a sound. More muffled shouting...then "crack!"...then unmistakable mum's voice shrieking "Go ahead! Shoot me with your gun!!" Then "crack!", "crack!"....a pause..."crack!". Then faint crying. A door slams. None of the 5 of us dare move or make a sound. The dim light reveals wide eyed kids each of us in our own paralytic bubble of fear. Afraid to move. Afraid to breathe. All you hear now is your own heart beating out of your chest. You don't know how you get to daylight, as a minute seems to last longer than an hour. At breakfast you see your bruised disheveled black eyed mother. She sits us down brusquely. She sternly warns us not to peep a word to anyone at all because nothing, and she means nothing, that ever goes on in this house is to ever leave this house. None of us say a word. Even to each other. But we look at each other. And we know.
Funny I've never mentioned this to anyone ..even to this day we don't talk about it amongst ourselves. But it (and some other incidents) are still vivid decades later. My older brother a few years later eventually did what you did and fought dad in the back hallway when he came at mum after having a few drinks. After that fight i can still see mum holding a tea towel on his bleeding head and rocking back and forth and it was like a switch flipped in her face and her expression changed - and she left dad within the week, never to turn back. I think anonymity of the board allowed me to write that...but it was prompted on what YOU wrote - because when i read that, it too also caused the hairs to raise on me - thus triggering the response - so I thank YOU. I was also surprised how emotional i got writing it.Wow...this is incredibly vivid and beautiful how you described it. You almost exactly captured every little emotion and detail with perfection that I FELT IT as I read every word and almost relived it again reading your recollections. I could vividly see myself experiencing it through your words that it sent shivers down my spine and caused me to tear up because I feel exactly what you experienced and teared up because I can see the 5 of you going through that and I know how tough it must have been for you all. Although what you described above is almost exactly what I felt when my life felt threatened the 1st time..and this was 1st time my city was getting bombed. We needed to run to the basement because we felt the ground shaking from the blitz of rocket and mortars and gunfire outside our house and around the city. I was preparing for someone to bust open that door and just open fire with an automatic rifle at the 3 of us, and knowing the desperation for realizing that there is nothing I can do. I tried coming up with an exit strategy in my head and I recall that bubble feeling, especially feeling my heart beating so hard and fast also recall freezing up and exactly how you described it although I was also shaking uncontrollably because I thought that was it, this was my last day on this earth. Its also amazing how it heightens your senses into over drive.
Wow, thats such a powerful experience to go through that I don’t wish on anyone but you described it so well and so accurately and I am very thankful that you decided to open up and share it with us..Sorry that you had to go through that and thank you for sharing.
Hopefully you use it for motivation in your present day. The other two times my life felt threatened I didn’t feel like that and I don't know if the first experience dulled me out. But I think it has provided a source of unlimited motivation especially when the stuff we take for granted in this current life is kicking our ass, I always remember that experience and say to myself this is not so bad, I am alive today, some of my friends and people I went to school with didn’t make it, I feel extremely grateful just to be alive.
Hopefully you also find/found a way to turn this into a positive and become stronger as a result. Just sharing it is a powerful experience for you and other readers.
Thanks for sharing much <3