Non Consistent Behaviour

Sophia Sinclair · Nov 18, 2018

It was recently raised on Twitter how a provider that saw a client with glowing references got ripped off by him.

I too have had clients treat me poorly (e.g. one who continually cancelled, kept promising to book an hour next time when he did show up to only ever meet for hh's, try to get the sun and the moon all at once and for no additional cost, etc.) then go see another provider and be a model hobbyist (i.e. he showed up and on time, paid for extras, etc.). Did the stars align that day?

I remember when I started out in this career being on another board and warning other ladies about a time waster in our private section because he booked me on three separate occasions via PM when I usually only did so through a call and cancelled all three times due to illness, without ever meeting me, only to have another provider sing his praises. I did that because he has a well known handle on the boards, which I took to mean something in my early years. I now know better. A third, more experienced lady at the time had to interject and point out that clients can be one way with a certain provider and a very different way with another. This begs the question as to why?

I realize that just like with us things can be going on in your lives, but such inconsistent behaviour baffles me. I try to be the same with everyone as I feel it's a reflection on me/my character and business. I don't as a rule bring my personal life and problems into a session. I put them aside for the hour or two. Is that what's going on with some gents? Are some of us constantly catching them at a bad time while others aren't?

Thankfully this hasn't been a problem for me in some time but my thoughts/questions are predicated on past experience and this SW's post which jogged some not so pleasant memories.

Can anyone explain this phenomenon?

shack · Nov 18, 2018

Sophia Sinclair said:
Can anyone explain this phenomenon?

Yes. The inconsistencies of clients is only matched by the inconsistencies of providers and agencies.

Lack of respect for the people you are dealing with is rampant in this industry from all sides.

wazup · Nov 18, 2018

The sex industry has a lot of scumbags. When I pay for sex I want to make sure I feel good and my mood is good. Sometimes I work nights and am horny but I didn't sleep well so I'm tired and kind of grumpy so I won't book anything.

I'm sure everyone who replies to this, including myself, will say they are perfect gentlemen at all times, not the case. Is it a board member who ripped her off. Some may be incels who hate women.

Maybe not as attracted to different providers so treat them poorly.

Sophia Sinclair · Nov 18, 2018

shack said:
Yes. The inconsistencies of clients is only matched by the inconsistencies of providers and agencies.

Lack of respect for the people you are dealing with is rampant in this industry from all sides.

One could argue it's in all areas and not just this industry. When discussed many of my clients talk about problems with contractors not showing to give a quote or cancelling the day of, starting a job on time but not finishing on time, etc. My esthetician's tell me how clients no show and then arrive for their next app't acting like nothing happened, etc. Real estate agents get roped into driving potential buyers around when they're only tire kicking, etc.

I was raised differently and handle my personal and business life with respect for both myself and others. It's very frustrating when you're the one being consistent and pretty much everyone else isn't.

Still, I find it odd that they're respectful to some, but not others!

Sophia Sinclair · Nov 18, 2018

wazup said:
The sex industry has a lot of scumbags. When I pay for sex I want to make sure I feel good and my mood is good. Sometimes I work nights and am horny but I didn't sleep well so I'm tired and kind of grumpy so I won't book anything.

I'm sure everyone who replies to this, including myself, will say they are perfect gentlemen at all times, not the case. Is it a board member who ripped her off. Some may be incels who hate women.

Maybe not as attracted to different providers so treat them poorly.

She's actually from the US so I'm not certain how the client learned of her, only that he cancelled his PayPal payment right after seeing her in a duo, before she deposited it into her account. She has no recourse and is down a lot of money. She didn't out him publicly, just posted about it giving other's the chance to DM or email her for his info in order to avoid him in case of a repeat performance on his part. It's a pretty douchey thing to do.

As for the attraction aspect, that's no excuse in my book. Clearly I have client's that I'm more physically attracted to than others or whose company I enjoy more than others, but I still try my best to give them all the same service no matter what. They are paying me and deserve my top effort.

Sophia Sinclair · Nov 18, 2018

Charlotte.Edwards said:
Some clients seem to be on model behaviour for those they feel are more attractive/charge more/more intimidating/harder to book etc. Most of my regulars don't pull stuff like that, but I stopped offering half hours years ago because too many of the clients who wanted that would only text me with 15 min or less notice and expect me to be ready, they'd actually stay 45 minutes or longer, some asked for discounts if they only wanted a 20 minute session instead, they never really wanted to see me above anyone else or were super regulars, it was just out of convenience and see whoever was available right now. I didn't enjoy catering to guys who pulled things like that as I preferred getting ready with more advance warning and felt that they often treated me a little poorer than the gents who booked me for 60 min, 90 min 2 hours etc.

Sometimes guys think that most other clients are like themselves, so those wanting discounts and quickies think everyone wants that and it's normal and nothing out of the ordinary and anyone booking an hour or longer is crazy or stupid or likes wasting money etc. Just like many of the gents I see who only book an hour or longer don't understand why anyone wants a 30 min or 15 min appt or why they would negotiate or go over time or whatever. Different perspectives. Some people seem to have tunnel vision I guess.

I did have a few guys when I was new treat me rather poorly because they thought I wasn't established and would book anyone so it didn't matter. Sometimes now I have new clients who are intimidated to book because they've seen I've been around for a while and want to make sure their inquiry is perfect before making it. I don't think there's any need for extremes. Just be yourself, be hygienic and considerate and you generally get better service than if you half ass it or have a bad attitude with someone you think is beneath you or not worth your time etc.

I think looks, perception, status and power dynamics play a pretty big key role. Some of my friends who are much more mature in age find young guys on their best behaviour, whereas for me I had to stop seeing many because they treated me like a tindr hookup and stayed overtime, canceled last minute, no showed and laughed about a cancellation fee, kept pushing me to rebook when they'd screwed me over etc. But some of these same guys would never dream of doing that with a provider they had a milf fantasy with and felt a little scared they'd get yelled at if they pulled any crap with them I guess.

Same thing with some older guys sometimes they pull stuff with the young providers and try to push buttons and boundaries wheras with a provider closer to their own age they wouldn't dream they could get away with such behaviour.

So true!

Once I stopped offering hh's and started asking for references, etc. I've been treated much better overall.

There are still undesirable clients at every price point, but I do find that the one's committing to a longer period of time and therefore bigger financial investment tend to want to maximize everything, including both my and their enjoyment during a session.

shack · Nov 18, 2018

Sophia Sinclair said:
One could argue it's in all areas and not just this industry.

I was very close to making a broader statement, but your OP seemed to be directed toward the industry. As well, I didn't want to sound too negative on society. LOL
My perception is that, since the nature of humans does not change, this is probably not a new phenomenon in regards to reliability etc. It may be that we appreciate reliability more as we mature and behaviour we accepted as 20 year olds we no longer accept as 30 year olds. Just speculatin'.

shack · Nov 18, 2018

Charlotte.Edwards said:
Of course, I just think that there are a lot more who don't have time to care/respect others when they are seeking a last minute thrill or expecting someone to jump to accomodate and scramble for their $100 or so. It's that whole power dynamic thing they aren't interested in those who want a longer appt or prebooking and some of us aren't able to cater to last minute or bargain hunters. When some providers decline and don't jump for a quick pay out from a client who treats them poorly the power dynamic shifts from the client to that particular escort and they usually move on to find someone else to feel they wield power over.

Ya' gotta feel respected. Both parties.

wazup · Nov 18, 2018

Sophia Sinclair said:
She's actually from the US so I'm not certain how the client learned of her, only that he cancelled his PayPal payment right after seeing her in a duo, before she deposited it into her account. She has no recourse and is down a lot of money. She didn't out him publicly, just posted about it giving other's the chance to DM or email her for his info in order to avoid him in case of a repeat performance on his part. It's a pretty douchey thing to do.

As for the attraction aspect, that's no excuse in my book. Clearly I have client's that I'm more physically attracted to than others or whose company I enjoy more than others, but I still try my best to give them all the same service no matter what. They are paying me and deserve my top effort.

If it's a board member she should out him, not like she's outing his real name. As for you giving your best effort, you are the one being paid so you are somewhat obligated to. If a guy for some reason thinks you are not as attractive as he thought you would be, might be a reason for him acting that way. Maybe in his mind he thinks he shouldn't have to pay for your services and certainly not extras, people are funny. You asked for responses, if you don't like the answers don't ask the question.

It does happen, I've booked women who weren't as hot as I thought and there is the feeling of I shouldn't have have paid for this. While I never treated them poorly, I would finish quickly and be on my way happily. For the most part we want to shag girls hotter than us.

Sophia Sinclair · Nov 18, 2018

wazup said:
If it's a board member she should out him, not like she's outing his real name. As for you giving your best effort, you are the one being paid so you are somewhat obligated to. If a guy for some reason thinks you are not as attractive as he thought you would be, might be a reason for him acting that way. Maybe in his mind he thinks he shouldn't have to pay for your services and certainly not extras, people are funny. You asked for responses, if you don't like the answers don't ask the question.

It does happen, I've booked women who weren't as hot as I thought and there is the feeling of I shouldn't have have paid for this. While I never treated them poorly, I would finish quickly and be on my way happily. For the most part we want to shag girls hotter than us.

I'm not obligated if a clients's hygiene is horrific. I'll still do my best but it's really hard not to let that affect your service level.

If he didn't like the way I looked, why book me again and again over years and across incalls, saying how he really enjoyed his time with me and wanted to spend longer than a hh, only to book hh's or to cancel half the time? He then used me as a reference for him without asking. I warned the lady of his inconsistent behaviour but she took a chance on him and he cancelled on her as well. She's much younger and some would say way hotter than me and charges more than me to boot, so there goes that theory. After that the next time he tried booking me I told him the only way I'd see him again is if he got me a reference from another provider. Given his behaviour I didn't think it was possible. He booked yet another SP and acted perfectly with her so I agreed to meet with him again, thinking he'd corrected his ways. He then started pulling his usual guff with me by changing times and asking for everything under the stars, so we parted ways permanently.

As per usual someone here thinks they know what they're talking about when they don't have all the facts. I recently had a US gent start the booking process with me for their trip to TO in Feb and they mentioned the "keyboard courage" that occurs on boards, to be discussed a little when we meet. Clearly it's not just a male vs female thing because both sexes recognize this behaviour for exactly what it is, which is improper or disrespectful.

kherg007 · Nov 18, 2018

A bunch of thoughts whiz through my cashew sized brain for these different situations raised so just gunna shotgun a bunch of thoughts whilst the neuropeptides flow....

1. The client might be a double booker! Then decides at last minute what inspires him and drops one lady. Very bad form.

2. Small sample size. Maybe that first experience had some goofy thing come up. Primacy effects often cause us to over-weigh initial impressions. My very first book was in service of a duo w Jessica Steele and the retired Laila...booked Jessica one on one first, then on next week's trip into the gta book the duo. On morning of reconfirmation call Jessica is sick...but laila is in. Jessica was billed as more sweet and laila more aggressive and I wanted to start sweet...almost cancelled ( thankfully I didnt!! Laila was great and next weeks duo spectacular fun. Seen the wonderful Jessica a number of times since). But had I cancelled I would have come across as flighty and time waster, etc., and the now defunct naughty nuru agency would have labelled me as such, rather than the favoured client i came to be lol).

3. Keyboard courage...takes a lot in the early days of the hobby life to book, then follow through. Maybe he just doesn't have the cojones.

4. Sadly, maybe this client feels some ladies are more understanding so they mess around there where the "quick to read the riot act" ladies don't get the flighty bs. (Keep in mind that works the opposite for some of us, I go all out for the kindly and sweet and avoid the drill sergeants). Regardless, maybe some fear of one lady keeps him much more respectful.

5. Sometimes the clients schedule is in flux. The client should state that and not make a hard booking until clear, and also be willing to accept that the lady will take a hard booking over his possible booking...so he runs the risk. And maybe this client will make a hard booking when he's unsure just to kerp the lady possible, then drop out for whatever reason...(maybe because he was gunning for someone else or just likes communicating but not booking or just decided to weasel out (again, all bad form).

6. Failure to see the biz from the ladies POV. Empathy or other perspective taking solves a shit-ton of problems in this biz let alone this world. Realize you may cost her money by booking when you might have only a 10% chance of making it. Try to see it from her pov...she can't keep a slot open for your maybe when she has a definite yes on the line. You may know you're a good bloke but she doesnt so make sure to do things to give her reassurance (like drop the envelope within 30 seconds of arrival or take the shower without whinging).

7. The constant return contact with promises for next time...this may be assuaging the guilt felt at the moment...but then out of communication with the lady those promises fade from memory. Or they can just be, according to DSM-V, an asshole (sorry you may have to look up that technical term).

Sophia Sinclair · Nov 18, 2018

kherg007 said:
A bunch of thoughts whiz through my cashew sized brain for these different situations raised so just gunna shotgun a bunch of thoughts whilst the neuropeptides flow....

1. The client might be a double booker! Then decides at last minute what inspires him and drops one lady. Very bad form.

2. Small sample size. Maybe that first experience had some goofy thing come up. Primacy effects often cause us to over-weigh initial impressions. My very first book was in service of a duo w Jessica Steele and the retired Laila...booked Jessica one on one first, then on next week's trip into the gta book the duo. On morning of reconfirmation call Jessica is sick...but laila is in. Jessica was billed as more sweet and laila more aggressive and I wanted to start sweet...almost cancelled ( thankfully I didnt!! Laila was great and next weeks duo spectacular fun. Seen the wonderful Jessica a number of times since). But had I cancelled I would have come across as flighty and time waster, etc., and the now defunct naughty nuru agency would have labelled me as such, rather than the favoured client i came to be lol).

3. Keyboard courage...takes a lot in the early days of the hobby life to book, then follow through. Maybe he just doesn't have the cojones.

4. Sadly, maybe this client feels some ladies are more understanding so they mess around there where the "quick to read the riot act" ladies don't get the flighty bs. (Keep in mind that works the opposite for some of us, I go all out for the kindly and sweet and avoid the drill sergeants). Regardless, maybe some fear of one lady keeps him much more respectful.

5. Sometimes the clients schedule is in flux. The client should state that and not make a hard booking until clear, and also be willing to accept that the lady will take a hard booking over his possible booking...so he runs the risk. And maybe this client will make a hard booking when he's unsure just to kerp the lady possible, then drop out for whatever reason...(maybe because he was gunning for someone else or just likes communicating but not booking or just decided to weasel out (again, all bad form).

6. Failure to see the biz from the ladies POV. Empathy or other perspective taking solves a shit-ton of problems in this biz let alone this world. Realize you may cost her money by booking when you might have only a 10% chance of making it. Try to see it from her pov...she can't keep a slot open for your maybe when she has a definite yes on the line. You may know you're a good bloke but she doesnt so make sure to do things to give her reassurance (like drop the envelope within 30 seconds of arrival or take the shower without whinging).

7. The constant return contact with promises for next time...this may be assuaging the guilt felt at the moment...but then out of communication with the lady those promises fade from memory. Or they can just be, according to DSM-V, an asshole (sorry you may have to look up that technical term).

Best response yet!

Shooter75 · Nov 18, 2018

YMMV is always in effect. Like when I get an escort she could take one look at me and think I'm an asshole,
maybe some thing about me annoys her. So were probably not going to have the best time together. sucks but that's life.

Same thing when you book a client, YMMV.

-Shooter75

cowslinger · Nov 27, 2018

Another issue is being new. Even though I'd joined this board a bazillion years ago, I never really posted here til towards the end of 2017. I contacted an sp here about being with my wife and I. Having no understanding of the laws, what to ask, what to expect was rather difficult. I tried to find out as much from this sp as I could, felt like a meeting was possible then it all fell apart and we weren't going to be able to come visit. I'm sure she felt like I'd wasted her time, which was the furthest thing from true. So not only was I looking to see how to book an sp, but trying to find the right one too, all the while NOT wasting anyones time..not even my own.

A few months ago when we suddenly were going to have time to make the trip to Toronto, I tried again with that sp but it didn't work out which led us to chat with Miss Sinclair and we ended up meeting which was absolutely perfect for our first time. She made it very easy to talk to her, and even through some bumps here and there was patient and understanding of our position too.. This isn't the easiest thing to see through from talking to meeting up, we came a long way to book our time.

I'd just ask any sp to help the newbies with some guidance, understanding and patience.. because not all of us are time wasters..Thank you to sophia for being just what we needed. We still talk about the great time we had..

explorerzip · Nov 27, 2018

shack said:
Lack of respect for the people you are dealing with is rampant in this industry from all sides.

Lack of respect is rampant in society as a whole. Most people seem to be locked in their own world and don't care or (don't know how to care) how their behavior affects others. This is especially true with making and keeping appointments and it's not isolated to the sex industry. People just can't seem too keep track of their calendars even though there is so much technology at their disposal to manage them. I guess it makes too much sense to check your calendar in advance, block off the time and give a buffer for any issues that arise.

angrymime666 · Nov 27, 2018

Sophia Sinclair said:
It was recently raised on Twitter how a provider that saw a client with glowing references got ripped off by him.

I too have had clients treat me poorly (e.g. continually cancel, keep promising to book an hour next time to only ever meet for hh's, try to get the sun and the moon all at once and for no additional cost, etc.) then go see another provider and be a model hobbyist (i.e. show up, be on time, pay for extras, etc.). Did the stars align that day?

I remember when I started out in this career being on another board and warning other ladies about a time waster in our private section, only to have another provider sing his praises. A third, more experienced lady at the time had to interject and point out that clients can be one way with a certain provider and a very different way with another. This begs the question as to why?

I realize that just like with us things can be going on in your lives, but such inconsistent behaviour baffles me. I try to be the same with everyone as I feel it's a reflection on me/my character and business. I don't as a rule bring my personal life and problems into a session. I put them aside for the hour or two. Is that what's going on with some gents? Are some of us constantly catching them at a bad time while others aren't?

Thankfully this hasn't been a problem for me in some time but my thoughts/questions are predicated on past experience and this SW's post which jogged some not so pleasant memories.

Can anyone explain this phenomenon?

ymmv

its all about interaction, and the way someone may feel with interacting with you. they may have enjoyed, or were rubbed the wrong or right way. so many reasons which you will never know.

accept that you will never know the why and accept that inconsistent behavior will happen.

icespot · Nov 28, 2018

Sophia Sinclair said:
It was recently raised on Twitter how a provider that saw a client with glowing references got ripped off by him.

I too have had clients treat me poorly (e.g. continually cancel, keep promising to book an hour next time to only ever meet for hh's, try to get the sun and the moon all at once and for no additional cost, etc.) then go see another provider and be a model hobbyist (i.e. show up, be on time, pay for extras, etc.). Did the stars align that day?

I remember when I started out in this career being on another board and warning other ladies about a time waster in our private section, only to have another provider sing his praises. A third, more experienced lady at the time had to interject and point out that clients can be one way with a certain provider and a very different way with another. This begs the question as to why?

I realize that just like with us things can be going on in your lives, but such inconsistent behaviour baffles me. I try to be the same with everyone as I feel it's a reflection on me/my character and business. I don't as a rule bring my personal life and problems into a session. I put them aside for the hour or two. Is that what's going on with some gents? Are some of us constantly catching them at a bad time while others aren't?

Thankfully this hasn't been a problem for me in some time but my thoughts/questions are predicated on past experience and this SW's post which jogged some not so pleasant memories.

Can anyone explain this phenomenon?

Sounds like guilt to me. He was probably doing something he was not proud of doing and compensated with his attitude.

Most guys don't want to be in this hobby. I never seen an SP, but I remember the struggle I always had with the MP world. It was always a constant fight inside of me not to go.

From what you said, sounds like when he was there he tried to be more than your client. Which leads me to believe he was conflicted.

You sent him to see another SP, before you saw him again. The condition being that he was going to be the client you expected him to be. So he had an incentive to behave differently than his true nature.

Sophia Sinclair · Nov 28, 2018

icespot said:
Sounds like guilt to me. He was probably doing something he was not proud of doing and compensated with his attitude.

Most guys don't want to be in this hobby. I never seen an SP, but I remember the struggle I always had with the MP world. It was always a constant fight inside of me not to go.

From what you said, sounds like when he was there he tried to be more than your client. Which leads me to believe he was conflicted.

You sent him to see another SP, before you saw him again. The condition being that he was going to be the client you expected him to be. So he had an incentive to behave differently than his true nature.

I suspected it might be something along that line. He behaved with her in order to see me, then unfortunately resorted back to his earlier state of affairs. Thank you for chiming in!

Alyosha · Nov 28, 2018

I tend to book half hours. I find that is generally how long it goes, no matter how long I book. I suppose I might be a little arrogant, now that you make me think about this....i usually pay the fee and forget about it. If there is mutual chemistry, we have fun. Maybe I am just buying the act. Do all providers fake it all? I know I am not a great prize, but I am super clean and I think respectfully. As in I treat the provider as a real person and try to please them as well. Thinking that the money part is over with. I am guilty of looking for an appointment with only 20 or 30 minutes notice. It just happens that I have time...it is too hard to predict in advance when I will have a chance.

I read a letter here, written by a retired provider. She says that all providers hate all their clients. Pretty well written and articulate. Even if she is bitter. Now I don't know if I will book a provider again. That is not how I want a relationship, even if it is only a half hour at a time that I pay for. I always considered myself a gentleman. After reading this letter....not so sure.

So is it all about the money every time? Is it just prebook for only one hour sessions? I know it is a business that the girls need to make money, but I like my job....can't she? I would not go to work if I was not paid, but I don't think about that when I am there. I enjoy my work.

I don't know if my questions will be interpreted as I intended. I am no literary genius. Take everything with a grain of salt But should I stay in this hobby?

Cheers

Cheers.

massman · Nov 28, 2018

Individual people in general are hardly ever 100% asshole or 100% angel. I’ve known many people thought to be totally reprehensible individuals at work, socially etc, and found them to be capable of being charming and generous. Other completely lovely kind individuals who in a given situation lose their shit, and act in a way that is only concerned with themselves, to hell with anyone else. Furthermore, some of the worst among us, the narcissists/sociopaths, are extremely skilled at being apparently kind and sweet, charming and considerate, when it suits their needs. Doubly frustrating when these types show their true colours.

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