I feel you've covered just about every point with respect to the subject. I have been there and back with various dating sites, and at the end of the day I spent a lot of money with basically nothing in return.
Internet dating sites
- Thread starter 261252
- Start date
Are you desirable? Not a challenge, just a question. I came to the conclusion a long time ago that if I want to date hot women less than half my age then I need to be willing to pony up some $$.
KK
The conclusion I am coming to after a short time on the sites - it is a lot of time consuming work. You send numerous messages to someone then she bolts just when you feel connection.
Not worth the effort IMHO. There has to be a better way to meet women and there is. Go do stuff even if alone as I do on the road. Learn how to approach women. It is not that hard. Start off with simple approaches such as coffee shops . Offer to buy coffee in return for conversation. If conversation is going no where have back up conversation starters. Watch Lettermen on YouTube. He is a genius at making conversation.
Look for signals of interest or non intetest. There are YouTube vids on this. Looking for signals reduces the chance of rejection but I still get some. The more you get the better you get at handling it.
They are filled with fake profiles. When you register you get tons of messages and if you upgrade with a credit card the messages stop
I understand your point quite well KKelso. I had entered the scene with a very realistic approach, meaning for a older person like myself, chasing young women with a big age gap would be a loss cause not to mention (as you mentioned) most likely ending up with an empty wallet.
By saying I had spent a lot of money, I intended to say that jumping from one site to another and tried dating women in my age group somehow didn't work out for me. The ones I met (usually ended up spending some money on these dates i.e.) restaurants, outings, gifts etc) consistently turned out to be "mis-matches" with money spent.
May be it's me and if/until I could find an answer, at present I'm just occasionally engaging myself with escorts.
^^^^
From time to time I read the Toronto Star's "dating diaries". 95 % are written by women. It's a fascinating look into the female dating mind and female (unrealistic) expectations. (What would be really interesting would be if they could get the corollary story from the male, but I digress.). 90 percent of the stories are disaster dates with the females slagging the males from top to bottom into the ground every time.
But the one thing I find most interesting is the number of guys who expect the women to pay for half of the date and how without a shred of doubt, that completely pisses the women off. Nothing dries up a woman's pussy faster than having to reach for her wallet. Even if she makes 500k a year.
From time to time I read the Toronto Star's "dating diaries". 95 % are written by women. It's a fascinating look into the female dating mind and female (unrealistic) expectations. (What would be really interesting would be if they could get the corollary story from the male, but I digress.). 90 percent of the stories are disaster dates with the females slagging the males from top to bottom into the ground every time.
But the one thing I find most interesting is the number of guys who expect the women to pay for half of the date and how without a shred of doubt, that completely pisses the women off. Nothing dries up a woman's pussy faster than having to reach for her wallet. Even if she makes 500k a year.
I also tried Craigslist's Casual Encounters before it got shut down and had very limited success.
I met one lady I hooked up with a couple of times, one date that never went anywhere and a response from one woman I wasn't interested in at all.
But for the most part, the responses I received were from spammers/scammers, time wasters, pic collectors and predatory gays. I even received a couple solicitations from SWs. Using TERB did prove to be invaluable since I learned to run reverse image searches. Though a couple times, I responded with, "Do you honestly expect me to believe that a woman who looks like that is going to need to use Craigslist to find a fuck buddy?"
Going to state an unpopular opinion but CE was a huge waste of time if you were straight guy.
I met one lady I hooked up with a couple of times, one date that never went anywhere and a response from one woman I wasn't interested in at all.
But for the most part, the responses I received were from spammers/scammers, time wasters, pic collectors and predatory gays. I even received a couple solicitations from SWs. Using TERB did prove to be invaluable since I learned to run reverse image searches. Though a couple times, I responded with, "Do you honestly expect me to believe that a woman who looks like that is going to need to use Craigslist to find a fuck buddy?"
Going to state an unpopular opinion but CE was a huge waste of time if you were straight guy.
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Adult Friend Finder
I am happy to pay fees to fully take advantage of sites. I am on a 90 day enhanced member thing with AFF. I am a hard match since I am 70 and only intersted in women 20-40 - just not attracted to older women and there are young gals that enjoy older men. I am into slimmer body types and for me large manmade breasts are a turnoff and avoided. I have had huge success with great contacts at Phoenix strip clubs for my type of quality touch intimacy but want to do more than lap dancing and never interested in "extra's". Also spoiled by so many good experiences of 15 years of trips to Toronto between strip clubs, nude-reverse body rubs and escort/companions. I am spoiled by smooth skin of younger women
The escort/massage industry is very difficut in Phoenix and the U.S. with legal issues, follow up from contacts and so few legitimate review boards left after FOSTA. Especially since I am more interested in sensual, intelligence, connection for the moment vs "hot" and sexy.
When I joined up with AFF (paid about $100 for 3 months) I scanned about 200 of gals with the most recent activiity (last few weeks) within about 15 miles and the 20-40 age range and looked at profiles for hints of my interests more than just "hot". In gals profiles they list the age range they are seeking and in their profile shows matches if age compatable and other factors.
I did a rather extensive profile, did all the optional question things and included a few pictures with nice clothes and included my professional shot etc.
From the about 200 scanned I sent a message of introduction to about 20 with an opening specific to them and the rest mostly canned and they have a nice auto repeat last message can use for next response.
I received within a few days 5 responses that seemed real that were possibly interested in meeting. One in particular and suggested communicating more directly. So I responded with my e-mail and phone. Not hearing anything after a few days I checked back at AFF to find she had gone no longer available.
I responded to the other 4 also suggesting more direct contact after I thought first one had a good idea instead of just short chit chat with messages. I am very busy in business life and no time for just the usual how are you type conversations but more serious and wanting to meet or dicuss more by phone. No reply to my reply to those.
A 6th gal replied that was surprised I didn't recognize her! She turned out to be one of the few escorts I met with in Phoenix but her pictures and stats looked and were much younger than the gal I knew so didn't think it was her.
Its been about a week now since last cheked back due to busy in business. But direct messages are fowarded by e-mail.
Since I paid to be a feature thing I get scans of messages out of the blue from all aged women from all over the world not matching my search criteia which I delete. Some I assume are fake bots
I do like the structure of AFF, some gals write quite extensive profiles. Some are obviously looking for a sugar dady and some are looking for a husband. Those of course I do not consider.
I also read women's posts of various forums reporting the quickly get fed up with all the guys wanting to talk sex, send picture of their penis's or are just time wasters.
I did it (and still am) as an experiment without any high expectations. I am not desperate, not into games or nonsense talk but enjoy younger women interested in quality sensual intimacy that is more than just sex acts along with some personality and intelligence.
I have met many over the decades in Toronto as escorts etc but want to try hand at real non-paid mutually enjoyable interactions if that is possible.
Instead of my usual June trip to Toronto I am booked for Frankfort Germany and look forward to visting FKK clubs etc during my 9 day stay.
In the meantime going to work AFF more until my 3 months expires and time permitting tackle massage and companion possible options here in Phoenix.
I am happy to pay fees to fully take advantage of sites. I am on a 90 day enhanced member thing with AFF. I am a hard match since I am 70 and only intersted in women 20-40 - just not attracted to older women and there are young gals that enjoy older men. I am into slimmer body types and for me large manmade breasts are a turnoff and avoided. I have had huge success with great contacts at Phoenix strip clubs for my type of quality touch intimacy but want to do more than lap dancing and never interested in "extra's". Also spoiled by so many good experiences of 15 years of trips to Toronto between strip clubs, nude-reverse body rubs and escort/companions. I am spoiled by smooth skin of younger women
The escort/massage industry is very difficut in Phoenix and the U.S. with legal issues, follow up from contacts and so few legitimate review boards left after FOSTA. Especially since I am more interested in sensual, intelligence, connection for the moment vs "hot" and sexy.
When I joined up with AFF (paid about $100 for 3 months) I scanned about 200 of gals with the most recent activiity (last few weeks) within about 15 miles and the 20-40 age range and looked at profiles for hints of my interests more than just "hot". In gals profiles they list the age range they are seeking and in their profile shows matches if age compatable and other factors.
I did a rather extensive profile, did all the optional question things and included a few pictures with nice clothes and included my professional shot etc.
From the about 200 scanned I sent a message of introduction to about 20 with an opening specific to them and the rest mostly canned and they have a nice auto repeat last message can use for next response.
I received within a few days 5 responses that seemed real that were possibly interested in meeting. One in particular and suggested communicating more directly. So I responded with my e-mail and phone. Not hearing anything after a few days I checked back at AFF to find she had gone no longer available.
I responded to the other 4 also suggesting more direct contact after I thought first one had a good idea instead of just short chit chat with messages. I am very busy in business life and no time for just the usual how are you type conversations but more serious and wanting to meet or dicuss more by phone. No reply to my reply to those.
A 6th gal replied that was surprised I didn't recognize her! She turned out to be one of the few escorts I met with in Phoenix but her pictures and stats looked and were much younger than the gal I knew so didn't think it was her.
Its been about a week now since last cheked back due to busy in business. But direct messages are fowarded by e-mail.
Since I paid to be a feature thing I get scans of messages out of the blue from all aged women from all over the world not matching my search criteia which I delete. Some I assume are fake bots
I do like the structure of AFF, some gals write quite extensive profiles. Some are obviously looking for a sugar dady and some are looking for a husband. Those of course I do not consider.
I also read women's posts of various forums reporting the quickly get fed up with all the guys wanting to talk sex, send picture of their penis's or are just time wasters.
I did it (and still am) as an experiment without any high expectations. I am not desperate, not into games or nonsense talk but enjoy younger women interested in quality sensual intimacy that is more than just sex acts along with some personality and intelligence.
I have met many over the decades in Toronto as escorts etc but want to try hand at real non-paid mutually enjoyable interactions if that is possible.
Instead of my usual June trip to Toronto I am booked for Frankfort Germany and look forward to visting FKK clubs etc during my 9 day stay.
In the meantime going to work AFF more until my 3 months expires and time permitting tackle massage and companion possible options here in Phoenix.
I joined Ashley Madison and had success...I met seven woman, was naked with four of them and ended up seeing one for about three years.
The younger people I know (30 and below) say they have success meeting people using Tinder. Most claim sex typically happens soon.
The good-looking women are on Bumble as they can pick and choose who they want to fuck. I think that you’d have to good-looking as well to have any success whatsoever based on what the ladies are saying.
It is too bad people do not talk anymore... They Fortnite and fuck.
The good-looking women are on Bumble as they can pick and choose who they want to fuck. I think that you’d have to good-looking as well to have any success whatsoever based on what the ladies are saying.
It is too bad people do not talk anymore... They Fortnite and fuck.
Much appreciated for your advice BR and sharing your thoughts on the subject. My decision to express myself on this thread was with an intent to learn something from others more or less in the same plight. I honestly feel encouraged!
I agree that thread is positive in that it is educational
Let us know how it works out so we can encourage and educate each other. That would be an excellent use of TERB!.
Start easy, with no intent other than being friendly. Do small stuff. Open doors, smile and say hi. That is what I did. You will progress rapidly as you gain confidence. Of course, only a small minority will have a genuine interest in you. It is a numbers game . Oh yeah, dress neatly (expensive cloths are not as important as neatness but show some style IE no t shirts with messages on them), style hair and beard, smell nice etc
Marni is a "wing girl" which is what you need. Also, if you listen to her you are getting advice from a female which seems a better perspective than getting advice from a male
[video]https://winggirls.s3.amazonaws.com/videos/How-To-Flirt-With-Women.mp4[/video]
go to 40 second mark in the above link for an excellent example of how to talk to strange women . NEVER USE PICKUP LINES! They are creepy. Keep it natural, like talking to a friend.
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I would certainly keep your words in mind BR! Have you ever considered writing a book on the subject? Just a thought lol.
Cheers!
I enjoy talking about it. It helps me think deeper.
When approaching women, comment on something about her except how good looking she is. Yes. she wants to hear about her good looks, but that comes later. Think about it, WTF is she supposed to do, applaud? How does such a comment lead into a conversation?
Having said that, a sophisticated twist is to start with a compliment on her beauty but quickly follow it with something that will lead to a conversation to get her off the hook. It is a waltz and you take the lead. Make it as easy for her as you can. Say something that leads to a obvious response. Think about Ed McMahon and how he would feed Johny Carson material that he could give a one liner to
I had a woman come up to me once and make a comment about my shirt then offered me a potato chip. She told me later she bought the chips just so she could offer me one. She did not even like potato chips LOL. Do something clever like that.
Wear something unusual that she can comment on. I like to wear a soft , deep blue, calf skin leather jacket with no biker zippers . This gives her the obvious chance to comment on my jacket. I respond how soft it is then suggest she feels it to see that I am not lying. When she does I say "moo" . Then I apoogise for such a churlish joke and promise to do better
Rememder to look directly into their eyes (if they are flirting back.) They love it.
My fav exit line is "I thnk there is something about you. I just can't figure it out" Leaves her wondering and thinking about you.
Stay Thirsty
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Thanks fo the post. Good read.I am happy to pay fees to fully take advantage of sites. I am on a 90 day enhanced member thing with AFF. I am a hard match since I am 70 and only intersted in women 20-40 - just not attracted to older women and there are young gals that enjoy older men. I am into slimmer body types and for me large manmade breasts are a turnoff and avoided. I have had huge success with great contacts at Phoenix strip clubs for my type of quality touch intimacy but want to do more than lap dancing and never interested in "extra's". Also spoiled by so many good experiences of 15 years of trips to Toronto between strip clubs, nude-reverse body rubs and escort/companions. I am spoiled by smooth skin of younger women
The escort/massage industry is very difficut in Phoenix and the U.S. with legal issues, follow up from contacts and so few legitimate review boards left after FOSTA. Especially since I am more interested in sensual, intelligence, connection for the moment vs "hot" and sexy.
When I joined up with AFF (paid about $100 for 3 months) I scanned about 200 of gals with the most recent activiity (last few weeks) within about 15 miles and the 20-40 age range and looked at profiles for hints of my interests more than just "hot". In gals profiles they list the age range they are seeking and in their profile shows matches if age compatable and other factors.
I did a rather extensive profile, did all the optional question things and included a few pictures with nice clothes and included my professional shot etc.
From the about 200 scanned I sent a message of introduction to about 20 with an opening specific to them and the rest mostly canned and they have a nice auto repeat last message can use for next response.
I received within a few days 5 responses that seemed real that were possibly interested in meeting. One in particular and suggested communicating more directly. So I responded with my e-mail and phone. Not hearing anything after a few days I checked back at AFF to find she had gone no longer available.
I responded to the other 4 also suggesting more direct contact after I thought first one had a good idea instead of just short chit chat with messages. I am very busy in business life and no time for just the usual how are you type conversations but more serious and wanting to meet or dicuss more by phone. No reply to my reply to those.
A 6th gal replied that was surprised I didn't recognize her! She turned out to be one of the few escorts I met with in Phoenix but her pictures and stats looked and were much younger than the gal I knew so didn't think it was her.
Its been about a week now since last cheked back due to busy in business. But direct messages are fowarded by e-mail.
Since I paid to be a feature thing I get scans of messages out of the blue from all aged women from all over the world not matching my search criteia which I delete. Some I assume are fake bots
I do like the structure of AFF, some gals write quite extensive profiles. Some are obviously looking for a sugar dady and some are looking for a husband. Those of course I do not consider.
I also read women's posts of various forums reporting the quickly get fed up with all the guys wanting to talk sex, send picture of their penis's or are just time wasters.
I did it (and still am) as an experiment without any high expectations. I am not desperate, not into games or nonsense talk but enjoy younger women interested in quality sensual intimacy that is more than just sex acts along with some personality and intelligence.
I have met many over the decades in Toronto as escorts etc but want to try hand at real non-paid mutually enjoyable interactions if that is possible.
Instead of my usual June trip to Toronto I am booked for Frankfort Germany and look forward to visting FKK clubs etc during my 9 day stay.
In the meantime going to work AFF more until my 3 months expires and time permitting tackle massage and companion possible options here in Phoenix.
Think of approach strategy's so you are prepared. We can go over them here. Others join in
STAY AWAY FROM CHEESY PICKUP LINES!
Best approach IMHO is to observe something then comment on it. Make your statements open-ended that beg for a response (a question rather than a statement) Try to make a witty comment that will make her laugh. Women love a guy that makes them laugh
If you cant think of anything to say fall back on rehearsed stuff just no cheesy sexual stuff.
Some tactics:
- Use redirection: this where she thinks she knows WTF you are going to say but you say something else
IE "Haven't we met before? " Here you are using one of the oldest PU lines then you say "No, wait that was two other people" If she laughs and it seems good to go then introduce yourself
-"Hi, I am Big Rig". If she does not brush you off challenge her to truth or dare. This where she says either truth or dare. If she says truth you make a truthful statment. If she says dare you dare her to do something. If she says dare then dare her give you her undivded attention for 5 minutes. If she says truth say "the truth is I wanted you to say dare" Now you have made her laugh and forced her to say dare.
- if you want to compliment her do not say she is beautiful etc but compliment something she has put effort into like her clothes, hair etc That way you are complimenting her taste
Stay Thirsty
STAY AWAY FROM CHEESY PICKUP LINES!
Best approach IMHO is to observe something then comment on it. Make your statements open-ended that beg for a response (a question rather than a statement) Try to make a witty comment that will make her laugh. Women love a guy that makes them laugh
If you cant think of anything to say fall back on rehearsed stuff just no cheesy sexual stuff.
Some tactics:
- Use redirection: this where she thinks she knows WTF you are going to say but you say something else
IE "Haven't we met before? " Here you are using one of the oldest PU lines then you say "No, wait that was two other people" If she laughs and it seems good to go then introduce yourself
-"Hi, I am Big Rig". If she does not brush you off challenge her to truth or dare. This where she says either truth or dare. If she says truth you make a truthful statment. If she says dare you dare her to do something. If she says dare then dare her give you her undivded attention for 5 minutes. If she says truth say "the truth is I wanted you to say dare" Now you have made her laugh and forced her to say dare.
- if you want to compliment her do not say she is beautiful etc but compliment something she has put effort into like her clothes, hair etc That way you are complimenting her taste
Stay Thirsty
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I have been in the online dating game (it is definitely a game) for over two years now, after separating three years ago. Here are some of the things I have learned:
1. Tinder is very convenient and free. I have met several women over the last two years, all very nice and classy. Four of them ended up being mini-relationships, had sex with three of them. I have stayed in touch with three of them. I thought the first one was "the one" - we both met not long after separation. Had sex by the third date - it was terrific. But, I honestly think she was just looking for a post-marital fling. Overall, Tinder is a bit of a crap shoot. I think there are a lot of expired profiles on there. I have a good friend (who I met on Tinder) - we talk and text once and a while now. I texted her a few months ago and said I saw her profile on Tinder (I knew she was dating someone at the time). She said, "Really? I thought I deleted my profile." So - be careful. It is definitely a numbers game there. Overall, Tinder is probably the lowest percentage of the sites/apps out there.
2. POF is okay - but I find the women on there aren't very serious. You can upgrade if you want to gain some very nice features, but it isn't necessary. OK Cupid has the best site - but, there aren't very many women on there. I think the best site is Match (for long-term relationships). It is a pay site for both men and women - so the women are much more serious. I dated someone for 10 months - met her on Match. She was 12 years older than me (I am in my mid-40s), but had they body and sex drive of a 30 year old. Also dating someone right now from Match. You should be able to tell who the gold diggers are and who the down to earth ones are. Again - it is a numbers game. Leave lots of messages and make them count. Comment on her pictures and profile - be witty! You will gain her attention. Write up a profile that is also witty and funny. Make sure your pictures are recent - be honest with yourself and the women you are meeting. And - smile in your pictures!!
3. Get professional or semi-professional pictures taken. I can recommend a couple of independent photographers for this (PM me). After I had my pictures done, my success rate went up greatly.
4. It is much easier for men if you are tall - unlike me. Most of the women in the online dating world are looking for tall, dark and handsome. If you are all of these, you will be beating them off with a stick. If you aren't tall, then you need to work harder. Also, if you live in the suburbs (like me), that also makes it harder. A lot of women refuse to date someone outside of Toronto.
5. Sometimes when I connected with someone online, I would have a phone conversation to see if there was any chemistry during the conversation. If there was, I would ask her out on a date. This can save you a lot of time and money - highly recommended.
6. Keep the first date simple. Don't meet her at a fancy steakhouse. A drink or a coffee is fine. If you feel comfortable after talking on the phone, then lunch or dinner works too. If that goes well, then have an option for after lunch/dinner if you want things to continue.
7. Be a gentleman. Hold the door open for her. If you are taking your car, open and close the door for her. Help her with her coat/jacket. Pay for dinner.
8. Go on lots of dates, and keep your options open. At one point, I was messaging/talking to 5 women, and ended up meeting 4 of them. Again - it is a numbers game.
9. Don't get down when women don't respond to your messages. Just keep trying.
I'm sure I have forgotten some other things I have learned. If I remember them, I will add them. Have fun!!
1. Tinder is very convenient and free. I have met several women over the last two years, all very nice and classy. Four of them ended up being mini-relationships, had sex with three of them. I have stayed in touch with three of them. I thought the first one was "the one" - we both met not long after separation. Had sex by the third date - it was terrific. But, I honestly think she was just looking for a post-marital fling. Overall, Tinder is a bit of a crap shoot. I think there are a lot of expired profiles on there. I have a good friend (who I met on Tinder) - we talk and text once and a while now. I texted her a few months ago and said I saw her profile on Tinder (I knew she was dating someone at the time). She said, "Really? I thought I deleted my profile." So - be careful. It is definitely a numbers game there. Overall, Tinder is probably the lowest percentage of the sites/apps out there.
2. POF is okay - but I find the women on there aren't very serious. You can upgrade if you want to gain some very nice features, but it isn't necessary. OK Cupid has the best site - but, there aren't very many women on there. I think the best site is Match (for long-term relationships). It is a pay site for both men and women - so the women are much more serious. I dated someone for 10 months - met her on Match. She was 12 years older than me (I am in my mid-40s), but had they body and sex drive of a 30 year old. Also dating someone right now from Match. You should be able to tell who the gold diggers are and who the down to earth ones are. Again - it is a numbers game. Leave lots of messages and make them count. Comment on her pictures and profile - be witty! You will gain her attention. Write up a profile that is also witty and funny. Make sure your pictures are recent - be honest with yourself and the women you are meeting. And - smile in your pictures!!
3. Get professional or semi-professional pictures taken. I can recommend a couple of independent photographers for this (PM me). After I had my pictures done, my success rate went up greatly.
4. It is much easier for men if you are tall - unlike me. Most of the women in the online dating world are looking for tall, dark and handsome. If you are all of these, you will be beating them off with a stick. If you aren't tall, then you need to work harder. Also, if you live in the suburbs (like me), that also makes it harder. A lot of women refuse to date someone outside of Toronto.
5. Sometimes when I connected with someone online, I would have a phone conversation to see if there was any chemistry during the conversation. If there was, I would ask her out on a date. This can save you a lot of time and money - highly recommended.
6. Keep the first date simple. Don't meet her at a fancy steakhouse. A drink or a coffee is fine. If you feel comfortable after talking on the phone, then lunch or dinner works too. If that goes well, then have an option for after lunch/dinner if you want things to continue.
7. Be a gentleman. Hold the door open for her. If you are taking your car, open and close the door for her. Help her with her coat/jacket. Pay for dinner.
8. Go on lots of dates, and keep your options open. At one point, I was messaging/talking to 5 women, and ended up meeting 4 of them. Again - it is a numbers game.
9. Don't get down when women don't respond to your messages. Just keep trying.
I'm sure I have forgotten some other things I have learned. If I remember them, I will add them. Have fun!!
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If it didn't bother him, that is all that matters.
As well, he was just trying to be helpful and you are mocking him. Classy...NOT.
