Asking questions = time waster?

Yeah I've seen this catch 22 happen and even I've asked similar type inquiries about the best protocol. I also find it stupid at times to have to put a desired date and time for booking when (1) don't know her schedule (2) not sure I will see her if her answers don't jive (3) I'm not planning to see her soon and my schedule is shifty. I also see no point in providing my phone number at this stage since I don't know if she's the type of provider I'm looking for.

As such, my general way of operating is to contact via email if that's an option so I can put in the info I choose. If everything is kosher, I book when I'm ready to. Sometimes that's a week later. Sometimes it's months later.

I've also had some ladies say there's plenty of reviews to get info from. Really? I should read someone else's review instead of getting the answer direct from the person? I once got into an argument with a lady because I mentioned something in a review that she no longer offers. So that process blew up in my face. I don't think reviews, bookers, other clients, or anybody but the provider herself's answer holds any weight.

My question would be is a guy a time waster if he asks for A, B, and C and the girl says no to B and C. So he refuses to see her based on this. Is he chalked up on her list as a timewaster or what he is, a diligent client doing research?

And yes, I think it's stupid for anyone to suggest just seeing her only to find out 5 min into the hour that she's not the right provider for you. Now both of your time and money has been wasted. I honestly think any lady who doesn't answer inquiries (as long as they are asked politely) should offer 10-15 coffee meetings to discuss at no charge. And I know some people might respond that a civilian wouldn't discuss this in advance until you get into the bedroom but last time I checked, I'm not paying the civilian by the hour so there's no money or time limit.

I think you have to ask yourself,
why did she catch your eye in the first place?..Website?..reviews?.. Ads on Review boards?..all of which would have given you SOME kind of idea why she peaked your interest in the first place...No?
So why would you need to ask a myriad of questions if all your research gave you the answers.
Are you just trying to break the Ice?
get a feel for her demeanor(as much as you can over text)
Is she accommodating answering your inquiries...?
snappy?
Down right rude?
So you ask your questions and her standard comeback is dont worry we'll have fun....(happened to me and ..I didnt) so was she the time waster?

Its a slippery slope for sure
If we ask too many questions we're time wasters
If she doesnt wanna answer them, then shes a bitch
Funny world we play in is all I can say

I have a booking a page and a contact page so that inquiries can be made without having to give a bunch of info. I also have it set up for clients looking to use me as a reference and for companions looking to confirm a reference.

However, that is me. I completely agree that many of us feel many different ways regarding discussing services, session expectations, etc. I personally prefer it as I want to ensure our sexual compatibility. Other women are not comfortable discussing it for a variety of reasons.

Seems my new line is the same for many situations regarding this industry. Not what you want, then move on. You said you will not book a lady unless you know she will do BBBJ. If she doesn't tell you that, directly advertise that or plays coy when you ask, then move on. You are not getting what you want and she is maybe not feeling comfortable. Not a recipe for a fun time, so find the next one.

I would never book unless you want to actually book. So for you - No you would not fill out a booking form. You would try another form of contact to ask your questions first. If there is no other form advertised, then move on. No fuss no muss.

Theobservantone said:

This thread is sparked by another thread where a lady requested that you ask her directly about her services/policies/preferences etc. - this seems opposite to what I see on SW Twitter and many SP websites.

Ladies often complain that guys write reviews and list services that are either highly YMMV so she doesn't advertise them, or the reviewer flat out lies and lists a service that didn't happen. If I want to confirm, how can I without being a time waster if guys who ask a question in an email without "Name, age, desired booking time" are automatically labeled as such?

If I'm meant to only rely on reviews then I guess it's fair game to be disappointed in not receiving what I read was provided for another (I don't btw)? I'm aware of the YMMV concept so no need to go there as that's not what I'm talking about. If someone says they got BBBJ and some say only safe services, and I want to confirm.....how??

I won't book until I know the answer to that question, and not because I see SPs as pieces of meat as some ladies assume of guys who want to know what's offered. And it's not because I have a check list - most of what want I've already done/I already have in my personal life. They're simply preferences that get me off and if we don't click on any other level, I at least have the assurance that I will get a service I wanted that will get me off - the whole point of my booking. Sorry, not sorry, but I don't pay for your time - as SW Twitter suggests. I pay for the privilege to engage in certain activities with you during an allotted amount of time. Let's not let the facade used to placate LE actually become a false reality for those involved in this hobby/industry, please.

Some may still suggest to meet her and ask in person. Fine. But, if I show up, ask in person, and she says no this that and the other, all of which I want, can I just walk without paying and not be blacklisted/labeled a time waster? Even if I could, wouldn't that be worse than answering a few of my questions before hand?

I just see a lot of contradictory statements floating around and want to be clear because I absolutely do ask questions before booking, if only to get a feel for how she responds and if we will match. If I contact a lady, it's at the point where she has to do something to get me to not book her. I've already decided I want to see her at that point based on everything I can ascertain from reviews and such, now I need to speak to her directly. If your responses turn me off, I won't book. If my first message to you is to book and your response turns me off, then I have to cancel...don't I still run the risk of being blacklisted/labeled a time waster?

All thoughts are appreciated,
T

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No offense - but you sound like the type of client a lot of ladies would NOT book - myself included. If you think when a sp says " bbbj is offered" and that she HAS to do it because your paying her -even though your hygiene could be bad or shes uncomfortable - is EXTREMELY rude. You say you don't want to treat the ladies like a piece of meat but that's exactly what you are doing ... you have that mentality - because I am paying as you stated for SEXUAL SERVICES and not TIME - then you for sure are not respecting the ladies in ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. You even said yourself you are not paying for time even though you ARE. Minimum donations ( 80. 100. 200) are for time and then there can be EXTRA menu items that ladies charge more for because they are LIGHT FETISHES and not NORMALLY on the girls menu.

If you understand YMMV then you understand it means YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY - depending on hygiene , both parties being comfortable & many other factors. You say you don't read reviews - well maybe u should start ! HALF of those guys that write reviews and get BBBJ are well respected, good manners, and have excellent hygiene. So if you don't get BBBJ - have u ever thought it could be you.

This is why say services are OFFERED and not promised - it all depends on how we click with a person.

Maybe you should start reading reviews and realize you may not get BBBJ all the time. Otherwise this thread kind of makes u look like a rude client.. no offense hun. just how it comes off.

Try reading the girls websites & reading the girls reviews- that will tell you what kind of provider she is

Theobservantone said:

I wonder if you read my post, actually read it, or got upset then read what you wanted to read? I said one person says she does X, another person says she does Y, I want to know what she offers. Of course it's YMMV, are you serious? With your apparent inability to critically read, I wouldn't book you anyway, thanks.

Edit to add: If I'm not paying for the privilege of engaging in certain activities in an allotted time, why do certain activities incur additional charges? Surely if I book same day and get greek you didn't prepare just for me, but my hour is now more expensive. I have no problem with price, lol 300 here or there isn't a big deal for some of us happy to say. I just want to be able to ask a question like a human being and get a normal response, like a human being.....I'm left wanting by your response.

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I read your whole post thanks and I don't advertise on here so you wouldn't even know if u did or not lol. Obviously if a girl says bbbj is offered than you have to realize that it is YMMV and you may not get it depending on your hygiene and compatibility with the sp in question.

I was not trying to be rude I was trying to explain something to you in the best way I can. Also if you ask for greek - you best believe that girl prepares just for u ! its not like we get 1000'S of greek requests a day...

Its so funny how a lot of people on here try to come at me with incoherent , incapability to read , etc - because I am actually very intelligent LOL! I was simply referring to everything u stated in your ORIGINAL post. So I can see how you may have taken it the wrong way & I apologize for that.

Yes, this is rocket science. Unfortunately many guys here have the tact of a rock and the personality of steel wool.

sweetiepieexo said:

No offense - but you sound like the type of client a lot of ladies would NOT book - myself included. If you think when a sp says " bbbj is offered" and that she HAS to do it because your paying her -even though your hygiene could be bad or shes uncomfortable - is EXTREMELY rude. You say you don't want to treat the ladies like a piece of meat but that's exactly what you are doing ... you have that mentality - because I am paying as you stated for SEXUAL SERVICES and not TIME - then you for sure are not respecting the ladies in ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. You even said yourself you are not paying for time even though you ARE. Minimum donations ( 80. 100. 200) are for time

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Personally my hygiene is always top notch. I know there certain guys that are flunky with this, i heard many SW talk about it. I don't understand it personally. Im the kind of guy who spend 15 mins minimum, sometimes more, in the shower before a meeting (i meet outcall so its not on the clock) . To me its the bare minimum respect to be extremely clean. I make sure to wash the sensible parts (penis, balls, ass crack) very very carefully so everything is top clean. Now im not saying for X reason she may not like my dick or my general look and decide to not provide services, but if hygiene is a concern for SW, with me its not a problem.

So that being said, if she decide she do not want to provide BBBJ, fine, but don't expect me to pay. At that point nothing much have happen and i will just call the session off. I see escorting as a service, same as going to the hair dresser or getting epilation etc, only a bit more personal. If for some reason you can't provide the service im looking for, then obviously i am not paying you. The whole "paying for the time" as the OP says is only to "trick" LE and remain "legal". The hobbyist do not pay for "time". I have no interest to pay 200$+ only to talk to somebody, even if that person is super hot. I pay for sexual services with very hot ladies, something i can't get for free due to my look. What im trying to say is that ill always respect limits and boundaries of providers, but if you choose to come back on what we agreed, then do not expect me to pay as if the "contract" was respected.

It may be direct to say it this way but in the end thats what it is.

As for the question of the thread, ill copy/past my answer in the thread that it started.

Thats an excellent question man. I feel its down to the person specificaly but there is no "general rule" if i can say. Personally i see only providers who are GFE+ (GFE with cim or cof) so before even thinking about putting somebody on "the potential meeting list" its infos i need. In an ideal world every providers would answer those questions and i could decide after that wich one ill see. Im a casual hobbyist guy. I book every 2-3 months one lady. Its my hobby budget. Gotta be picky and selectif both on beauty and services. Thats why i want all these infos. Can it appear as being "time wasting" to somr ladies? Maybe... but im genuinly asking to know and to decide if yes im interested to see you, not to waste your time. Cause truth is there is like 30 super hot providers i could be interested to see at the moment if i was a rich guy lol. But i can't see them all obviously.

Some providers could even be offended to be asked those questions. Thinking we consider them "meat to fuck" or something even if its not the case. I know some of them feel we should see them for the "human being side", for the "spending time in the compagny of that specific provider" if i can say, but the truth is, i never met them before...i don't even know if ill enjoy her compagny or we will be compatible... my only "triggers" to book a provider more than another are the pictures and reviews/services.

There is exeption to this rule, as for instance i did book providers after meeting them in a VIP PARTY setting, i wanted to meet them because i did feel we had a good connection, i enjoyed talking to them and i knew the sex would be great due to that connection. I saw the human side before the "sexual side" if i can say. BUT when all i have is pictures and a few reviews, obviously ill try to see the provider who i think is gonna give me the most "sexual attraction" .

Obviously i had meetings where the girls arrived, provided all i ask (GFE, Cim/Cof) and yet the session was not that great, even if she was beautifull, cause chemistry was not there at all. Its a risk in the business and i accept it. Obviously i prefer when she arrive that it almost feel natural from the get go as we where long time friends and then we discover that we are both into the same type of things and we can talk about that to break the ice. And obviously at the same time having those services i like. But it can't always be like that.

So yup when i look at all the ads, and decide wich one of these hot 350-400$/h blond bomshells (wich are all super hot) i want to see to have that ultimate pornstar experience, obviously if one offer a service and the other don't, i will probably go with the one that offer it.

So when i ask, sometimes i get replies, sometimes i don't... Maybe some are offended, while others are happy i ask to see if they can meet my "needs".

Really depends on the lady herself.

Thats my imput from it. I know i am not a provider but hope it could help.

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sweetiepieexo said:

I read your whole post thanks and I don't advertise on here so you wouldn't even know if u did or not lol. Obviously if a girl says bbbj is offered than you have to realize that it is YMMV and you may not get it depending on your hygiene and compatibility with the sp in question.

I was not trying to be rude I was trying to explain something to you in the best way I can. Also if you ask for greek - you best believe that girl prepares just for u ! its not like we get 1000'S of greek requests a day...

Its so funny how a lot of people on here try to come at me with incoherent , incapability to read , etc - because I am actually very intelligent LOL! I was simply referring to everything u stated in your ORIGINAL post. So I can see how you may have taken it the wrong way & I apologize for that.

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I think what it comes down to is stating the obvious. If a client isn't hygienic, is rude, pushy, etc. the lady has the right of refusal, whether it be a specific service or continuing the appointment. I know some guys in general might not get this but the majority do, including most/all Terbites. I think the question is coming from a place where the client is hygienic, nice and pleasant, and respectful. As such, when a girl indicates she does X, Y, and Z, and Z is YMMV for example, we generally expect that Z will happen because we are doing the things that most ladies say they value when meeting a client.

I think most guys want a yes/no/maybe, not a no comment. I think most guys can work with maybe. Most guys can't work with the no comment i.e. no answer so no clue what to expect.

Halloween Mike said:

Personally my hygiene is always top notch. I know there certain guys that are flunky with this, i heard many SW talk about it. I don't understand it personally. Im the kind of guy who spend 15 mins minimum, sometimes more, in the shower before a meeting (i meet outcall so its not on the clock) . To me its the bare minimum respect to be extremely clean. I make sure to wash the sensible parts (penis, balls, ass crack) very very carefully so everything is top clean. Now im not saying for X reason she may not like my dick or my general look and decide to not provide services, but if hygiene is a concern for SW, with me its not a problem.

So that being said, if she decide she do not want to provide BBBJ, fine, but don't expect me to pay. At that point nothing much have happen and i will just call the session off. I see escorting as a service, same as going to the hair dresser or getting epilation etc, only a bit more personal. If for some reason you can't provide the service im looking for, then obviously i am not paying you. The whole "paying for the time" as the OP says is only to "trick" LE and remain "legal". The hobbyist do not pay for "time". I have no interest to pay 200$+ only to talk to somebody, even if that person is super hot. I pay for sexual services with very hot ladies, something i can't get for free due to my look. What im trying to say is that ill always respect limits and boundaries of providers, but if you choose to come back on what we agreed, then do not expect me to pay as if the "contract" was respected.

It may be direct to say it this way but in the end thats what it is.

As for the question of the thread, ill copy/past my answer in the thread that it started.

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You actually bring up an interesting situation and what would people do. I'm a BBBJ/Daty guy so if those are off the table, I'm not seeing the provider. Now, like you I also feel I have top notch hygiene (shower, brush, and mouthwash before, 2nd shower upon arrival, maybe use a mint/gum). So I don't expect to get the shaft when it comes to services I've indicated I like and the lady agreed to prior. So, if lady arrives, we start making out and she suddenly indicates CBJ or no DATY, I'm going to be a little upset. Do I have the right to stop the appointment and request a refund?

Sorry as I somewhat reiterated what Halloween Mike said but the key is the fact that the client is keeping up his end of the bargain.

Theobservantone said:

I covered YMMV in my original post, very specifically. If you did actually read it, why mention it? From my original post: "I'm aware of the YMMV concept so no need to go there as that's not what I'm talking about. If someone says they got BBBJ and some say only safe services, and I want to confirm.....how??"....I guess you just think I'm too dumb to actually know what YMMV means?

You failed at not coming off rude and didn't explain anything as I had already addressed all of your concerns, sorry. Please, please, please re-read what I wrote. From my reply: "Surely if I book same day and get greek you didn't prepare just for me.." - you do see the words "same day" written there right? Not trying to be condescending but you missed it the first time so...If I book same day, you had no idea you were seeing me or that I'd want greek.

I'm sorry, I'm not refuting your claim to be intelligent, but your response confuses me if you are. I addressed all of your concerns in my original post. I choose each word I write quite carefully, as I do my wording, if you read it carefully you will see I already spoke to your concerns, so it's a bit annoying to have to address them again when I wrote my OP in an attempt to avoid doing that. Perhaps I failed in that attempt and for that, I apologize.

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it does not matter if you book the same day for greek . If you give a girl a fifteen min - hh notice - she most likely will try to prepare herself for greek.
this includes , showering , trying to use toys to loosen up a little bit, etc. I'm sorry but I addressed EVERYTHING in your post. It seems that the only one you are not happy with is me but its funny because half the replies on your thread contain references to hygiene.

You are basically saying that because you are paying girls HAVE to do whatever you want. At least that's how it comes off. Seems very rude to me.

"Ladies often complain that guys write reviews and list services that are either highly YMMV so she doesn't advertise them, or the reviewer flat out lies and lists a service that didn't happen. If I want to confirm, how can I without being a time waster if guys who ask a question in an email without "Name, age, desired booking time" are automatically labeled as such? "

If a girl has a way she books clients and you don't know her menu simply email or text her with all the info shes asking ( name age booking time, duration , etc) and then ask her what her menu is. If she doesn't tell you then move along, don't even respond if she gives u attitude. usually if a girl has this booking method she will have a website with all the info you are looking for.

You do not have to rely on reviews because like you said its different for everybody because of YMMV and sometimes ( the odd time ) their can be fake reviews up..

As for me not being intelligent - I am a very intelligent girl thank you. I know you didn't mean to sound condescending but unfortunately you did. There is no reason to be rude on here/ to me when I addressed all of your concerns and even answered your question lol. anyways good day good SIR .
happy hobbying and good luck xoxox

Nice question Theobservantone,

I am one of the girls advertising safe services only so of course if someone's texting me asking for bbbj or other unsafe services , I will truly think that he's waisting my time. I am also advertising to ask for more services only in person..

There's the reason why : Imagine that you are a provider. You offer more services and decide to answer openly when a client ask about it by text. Of course the client book a session with you. He show up expecting services .
As soon as you open the door you can smell him. A strong smell coming from his armpit , a very disgusting breath , very long dirty nails. He looks like he didn't take a shower since 2010. But you already told him that you will provide more services so when you decline he's getting mad and disappointed. You would think that everybody takes care of their hygiene , but you would be surprised. As a provider I seen everything ....unfortunately..


So for a very obvious reason , some providers prefer meeting the client in person before saying that they're providing services...

It is not to be complicated or to make sure we won't lose a client by not offering more services so we stay vague ... It is simply to avoid that kind of gross situation.
The girls that are not offering more services will mostly say so and most of the clients will respect her limits.. The girls that are staying vague are probably offering more but they want to meet you to make sure you are a good client before saying anything that could create expectations..

Kisses
Ali

sempel said:

You actually bring up an interesting situation and what would people do. I'm a BBBJ/Daty guy so if those are off the table, I'm not seeing the provider. Now, like you I also feel I have top notch hygiene (shower, brush, and mouthwash before, 2nd shower upon arrival, maybe use a mint/gum). So I don't expect to get the shaft when it comes to services I've indicated I like and the lady agreed to prior. So, if lady arrives, we start making out and she suddenly indicates CBJ or no DATY, I'm going to be a little upset. Do I have the right to stop the appointment and request a refund?

Sorry as I somewhat reiterated what Halloween Mike said but the key is the fact that the client is keeping up his end of the bargain.

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Personally of all the providers i seen i had 2 times an issue with BBBJ only. (i have over 75 meeting). The first time it was as sample as the provider trying to make more $. As soon as i mentioned giving extra for it CBJ turned into BBBJ+Cim lol. Since the price was lower than what i usually pay and the girl was model like beauty, i rolled with it. The second time BBBJ was provided but the girl was reluctant, i dunno, felt like she didn't like my dick. She was rather new too... Maybe she was used of 8 inch long perfect porno dicks... lol.

I try personally to stick to reputed agencies and indies. So it was never a concern to me when it comes to the money, usually i let the money on the night table under the hotel phone, this way she can see it but its collected at the end.

But if i was gonna do business with a backpage provider or someone im unsure, it would be payment at the end ONLY, as in not even laying it on display. Better be safe than sorry. I am assuming if i see someone from a reputed agency and for any reason she won't provide BBBJ, i can always call the agency. GFE is standard... its expected. Its not like cim where she may usually offer it but for any reason she decide not to do it with you (if your precum does not taste good for instance or whatever) I would NEVER EVER book in an agency that does not clearly state GFE on there ads. So im assuming if she decide she does not want to provide it with me for any reason, i can cut the meeting short and if she complain she want some partial payment, i can always contact the agency and they will deal with it. Agencies usually don't like waves and won't make shit for a mere 50$ or such. They will rather have a satisfy customer than someone, especially a known hobbyist, make a bad review on the board.

With a backpage provider you don't have this luxury. I am not one to usually go with backpagge, unless she is tremendously reviewed, but im just saying if i was gonna go that route i would be very carefull.

I know girls have a right to refuse a client or not do whatever they don't want to do. This is a given. BUT if you refuse to do what is paid for, therefore its "breach of contract" and why should i pay anything? If for instance she enter the room, we talk for 5 mins, start kissing and then she pull out a condom for CBJ, i will ask her whats with that. If she says she won't do BBBJ... ok fine but put back your cloathes on thats it. I have no interest to go further. Im not gonna pay even a partial sum for 5 min of talk and a couple kisses... :/

I know it may sound harsh at first glance but i just feel its important that both party respect the agreement. Obviously i am talking for ME and i know some hobbyist are slacky on many factors and things may be different.

But me PERSONALLY, i am a reliable client, i never cancel, i am always friendly, clean, i am pretty soft and cuddler too (unless kinkier stuff is discussed and agreed before in a dom session or something) , i am really an easy to please client. I try to make the job of the providers easier, so the bare minimum i expect is to get a good attitude and the services expected from the provider too.

But i am also a very carefull/safe hobbyist. I stick with reputed agencies and indies, and even in agencies i usually go for the ones with many positive reviews and very very little negative/neutral ones. That way i put the best chances on my side to have a good time. There was a time where i was more TOFTT but i been "burned" a few times with subpar meetings (nothing nightmarish, just meetings who where below average) and when you save money for months to have a good time, its pretty disapointing to leave the city like that.

Anyway, sorry if i got a bit off topic. But everytime services are discussed in threads, it often turn to that subject lol

Theobservantone said:

@sweetiepieexo - K, lolol...

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you cant be that naiive and hard headed can you ? anyways. this is why I hardly come on here. its like u guys let anything set you off and when u don't like something u hear/ read you go ape shit. lol not sure what answer your looking for but you got a TON to pick from lol. good day.. SIR.

Alison_xox said:

Nice question Theobservantone,

I am one of the girls advertising safe services only so of course if someone's texting me asking for bbbj or other unsafe services , I will truly think that he's waisting my time. I am also advertising to ask for more services only in person..

There's the reason why : Imagine that you are a provider. You offer more services and decide to answer openly when a client ask about it by text. Of course the client book a session with you. He show up expecting services .
As soon as you open the door you can smell him. A strong smell coming from his armpit , a very disgusting breath , very long dirty nails. He looks like he didn't take a shower since 2010. But you already told him that you will provide more services so when you decline he's getting mad and disappointed. You would think that everybody takes care of their hygiene , but you would be surprised. As a provider I seen everything ....unfortunately..


So for a very obvious reason , some providers prefer meeting the client in person before saying that they're providing services...

It is not to be complicated or to make sure we won't lose a client by not offering more services so we stay vague ... It is simply to avoid that kind of gross situation.
The girls that are not offering more services will mostly say so and most of the clients will respect her limits.. The girls that are staying vague are probably offering more but they want to meet you to make sure you are a good client before saying anything that could create expectations..

Kisses
Ali

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THANK YOU. this is exactly what I was trying to explain !!! damn. lol.