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For those that have suffered depression

Parker@TDL

@ParkItInParker_
Feb 9, 2018
503
35
28
Why do you want support for yourself when she is the one who is suffering? If she was a 'vibrant' lady and happy going person earlier in your marriage,she can be cured for whatever ailments she is having right now. But,she can only get better with your love and support as you mentioned. How? Try not to have a negative vibes when you come home from work. As if you are not looking to go home because you know what you are facing from her condition every night. Confront the challenge with love. Bring home flowers or buy her new outfits or whatever. Don't afraid to give out your hands and tell her that you like to listen to her stories. You need to be a good listener and be more aware of what caused her to change for the worse. I don't know if you have children,you might like to share household chores after dinner or weekends. If you are looking for a motivation to do all of this to help out your wife,it is SEX. When she is better mentally she feels good about herself. Good mood from her will turn into more regular sex for you. Trust me I am speaking from experience. Bottom line is please focus on her NOT on you. You are fine but you let her condition affecting you! Stay strong and stay positive.
When someone is taking care of someone with an illness, they need support as well. It is extremely hard and draining to care for someone who is ill and can lead to depression in the care giver. So they need to make sure they take care of themselves as well. It's not all about the person with the illness.

Also, saying she can be cured is an empty promise. Mental illness can set in later in life and it could possibly be something she has to manage the rest of her life. This depressive episode will most likely lift eventually but she may have to deal with/manage future episodes and work at keeping them at bay.
 

mynameisearl11

New member
Aug 16, 2011
1,717
4
0
vaughan
Anybody mentioned on Mindfulness and Meditation? Nothing is perfect but I found meditation helped to calm the mind a lot. You cannot stop thinking the second you woke up from bed. So,controlling the mind instead of the mind controlling you is the best medicine imho.
 

mynameisearl11

New member
Aug 16, 2011
1,717
4
0
vaughan
When someone is taking care of someone with an illness, they need support as well. It is extremely hard and draining to care for someone who is ill and can lead to depression in the care giver. So they need to make sure they take care of themselves as well. It's not all about the person with the illness.

Also, saying she can be cured is an empty promise. Mental illness can set in later in life and it could possibly be something she has to manage the rest of her life. This depressive episode will most likely lift eventually but she may have to deal with/manage future episodes and work at keeping them at bay.
You can't never say never for anything in life. Correct me if I'm wrong I noticed that you signed in as a sp. So,it is not an empty promise from me if I told you I will make an honest effort to see you for first time by end of the week. There would be a determination on my part to see you for sure. There is always a fine line between being selfishness and being selflessness. As long as we determine to do something to make the world a better place we should not cheat ourselves.
 

Parker@TDL

@ParkItInParker_
Feb 9, 2018
503
35
28
You can't never say never for anything in life. Correct me if I'm wrong I noticed that you signed in as a sp. So,it is not an empty promise from me if I told you I will make an honest effort to see you for first time by end of the week. There would be a determination on my part to see you for sure. There is always a fine line between being selfishness and being selflessness. As long as we determine to do something to make the world a better place we should not cheat ourselves.
I didn't say never. You had said she can be cured and that's not necessarily true. If it's situational or postpartum depression then it most likely can be fully dealt with and could be a one time episode. Other types are reoccurring or continuous and need lifelong management. These are generally not curable. Most mental illnesses are not curable(That's just realistic), but there is treatment to manage symptoms.
 

Roleplayer

Active member
Jun 29, 2010
215
86
43
A recent Rosie Dimanno article in the Star about a psychiatrist who spent one day a week for 5 years reading suicide notes: https://www.thestar.com/opinion/sta...ices-from-the-grave-that-should-be-heard.html
Another article on the same topic: https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/20...n-help-with-prevention-research-suggests.html

About 90% of those who died to suicide had a diagnosed mental illness. Repeated themes included feelings of powerlessness and exhaustion, as well as the belief that the world is better without them. Many felt they had no control over their illness; others expressed feeling a sense of control but blamed themselves for not being healthier. Another common theme was anger over their experience in the health care system. This is of particular note as there is a common misconception that those who die to suicide simply haven't tried to get help from the system; indeed the study indicated 30% sought help from a professional within 30 days of their death, and the number of diagnosed illnesses indicates that almost all tried to get help from the system at some point.

There were also links to other recent articles on the topic that indicate the lack of/contradictory nature of understanding suicide, even within the health care community.

This article talks about the difficulty in predicting and preventing suicide: https://www.thestar.com/life/2018/0...n-the-difficulties-of-preventing-suicide.html

This article talks about the possibility that suicide should be thought of as its own illness--perhaps with distinct biomarkers--rather than as a symptom of depression: https://www.thestar.com/news/insigh...-getting-closer-to-understanding-suicide.html
 

Parker@TDL

@ParkItInParker_
Feb 9, 2018
503
35
28
A recent Rosie Dimanno article in the Star about a psychiatrist who spent one day a week for 5 years reading suicide notes: https://www.thestar.com/opinion/sta...ices-from-the-grave-that-should-be-heard.html
Another article on the same topic: https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/20...n-help-with-prevention-research-suggests.html

About 90% of those who died to suicide had a diagnosed mental illness. Repeated themes included feelings of powerlessness and exhaustion, as well as the belief that the world is better without them. Many felt they had no control over their illness; others expressed feeling a sense of control but blamed themselves for not being healthier. Another common theme was anger over their experience in the health care system. This is of particular note as there is a common misconception that those who die to suicide simply haven't tried to get help from the system; indeed the study indicated 30% sought help from a professional within 30 days of their death, and the number of diagnosed illnesses indicates that almost all tried to get help from the system at some point.

There were also links to other recent articles on the topic that indicate the lack of/contradictory nature of understanding suicide, even within the health care community.

This article talks about the difficulty in predicting and preventing suicide: https://www.thestar.com/life/2018/0...n-the-difficulties-of-preventing-suicide.html

This article talks about the possibility that suicide should be thought of as its own illness--perhaps with distinct biomarkers--rather than as a symptom of depression: https://www.thestar.com/news/insigh...-getting-closer-to-understanding-suicide.html
I understand why it's poorly understood. Unless you've been in that mindset and have first hand experience with how hopeless, destructive, manipulative and twisted your thought process gets in that state, well it's simply hard to relate. But that's why people need to try to suspend judgement, try to be empathetic, and listen to those who have experience with suicidal ideation and/or have tried and survived.

The idea that people haven't tried to get help doesn't reflect the reality that it's not as simple as getting treatment. It can be incredibly hard to find a doctor who will give you adequate treatment and, even if you find that, you may spend years and years trying various meds, psychiatry/psychology/counseling, excercise/good diet, meditation etc. and you still don't find something that works. You can find stuff that works for a chunk of time then something in you changes and those meds and such don't work anymore.Then it's long periods of finding something else that works. Getting off the meds that are no longer working, which can take a very long time, can be coupled with bad withdrawal symptoms. I've known people who have felt like they've had the flu for almost half a year while coming off meds. Your sleep can be totally ruined which leads to a worse mental state. Sleep disturbance/insomnia has been shown through many studies over the past 25 years to aggravate, heighten, and lead to suicidal ideation and behaviour.

Then there's the issue of affording the help available. Medication is incredibly expensive. Many people can't afford to buy their medications and it's very unfortunate as those meds can make a substantial difference in people's mental well being. Meds can save people's lives. An example of how much money we could possibly be talking, my medications cost approximately $700 a month. That's more than my car payment and insurance. Depending on what you have, that wouldn't be an abnormal cost. Luckily, Ontario has programs to help people pay for their medications but not everywhere has those kinds of programs. So some people are left having to decide between buying medications for the month and having enough to buy food or pay necessary bills. On top of that, paying for psychiatry/psychology/counseling is a whole other issue.

Anyways, long story short, it's often not simple to navigate a mental health issue but, like so many things, it's easy to think it's simple when you haven't done it yourself.
 

black booty lover

Well-known member
Oct 21, 2007
9,738
1,655
113
I'm of the belief that sometimes all the meds in the world, and all psychiatrist in the world can't solve your problems. Each case is different. A pill or psychiatrist can't solve your financial problems, or change the fact that the women you loved left you. I personally think if you suffer from depression because of some sort of chemical imbalance your brain, maybe meds help, but many times it just depends on the cause of your depression.
 

Insidious Von

My head is my home
Sep 12, 2007
38,090
6,424
113
Meds are very hit and miss, it's been over two years since I took any and feel much better. Still not fully recovered from my car accident, I'm lucky that I hired a pit bull injury lawyer, I may never be what I was before. I was taking Citalopram prior to the car accident, it worked well for me. It stopped working after the accident. I'll rate the three I took:

Citalopram = B+
Cypralex = F - with extreme prejudice
Cymbalta = C -

The psychiatrist who prescribed Cypralex turned out to be an asshole. I went against his orders to wean myself of the drug gradually. The drug was destroying me, I went cold turkey. I tried to book a follow up appointment with him and was told that I lived beyond his jurisdiction and to find another psychiatrist. Covering up the fact that he had made a mistake.
 

Parker@TDL

@ParkItInParker_
Feb 9, 2018
503
35
28
I'm of the belief that sometimes all the meds in the world, and all psychiatrist in the world can't solve your problems. Each case is different. A pill or psychiatrist can't solve your financial problems, or change the fact that the women you loved left you. I personally think if you suffer from depression because of some sort of chemical imbalance your brain, maybe meds help, but many times it just depends on the cause of your depression.
I believe the issues/causes that are being found aren't necessarily chemical imbalances. That could be a part of it but it's certainly not the full picture at all. Mental illness research is finding that certain neurons, neurotransmitters and chemical systems in the brain are malfunctioning. This causes dysfunction in the brain and can make actual changes to the brain structure. The brain is a big, mysterious, and fascinating place!!!
 

shakenbake

Senior Turgid Member
Nov 13, 2003
7,598
1,624
113
Durham Region, Den of Iniquity
www.vafanculo.it
Meds are very hit and miss, it's been over two years since I took any and feel much better. Still not fully recovered from my car accident, I'm lucky that I hired a pit bull injury lawyer, I may never be what I was before. I was taking Citalopram prior to the car accident, it worked well for me. It stopped working after the accident. I'll rate the three I took:

Citalopram = B+
Cypralex = F - with extreme prejudice
Cymbalta = C -

The psychiatrist who prescribed Cypralex turned out to be an asshole. I went against his orders to wean myself of the drug gradually. The drug was destroying me, I went cold turkey. I tried to book a follow up appointment with him and was told that I lived beyond his jurisdiction and to find another psychiatrist. Covering up the fact that he had made a mistake.
Not everyone reacts In the same manner to any particular drug. For me, cipralex worked the best. Citalopram was of no help, and cymbalta left me dazed and disoriented. A big battle is, if drugs are necessary to help stabilise the mood, to find one that works with the least side effects. Then again, the medical practitioner must be sufficiently competent to know what the fuck he/she is doing to be able to help the patient.
 

massman

Well-known member
Sep 8, 2001
4,274
2,522
113
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Sorry for the thread hijack here, but I small something fishy.

aleks77. You seem to make a lot of comments that are only vaguely related to the thread, the thread is usually very old, and almost always include a link to another site. Also, are you a young, menopausal 42 year old woman? https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthrea...one-replacement-therapy&p=6268095#post6268095
Or a guy over 55 with erectile dysfunction?? https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthrea...le-dysfunction-question&p=6120853#post6120853
 

kkelso

Well-known member
Apr 27, 2003
2,472
28
48
I think depression and other mental disorders are 21st century plague (and it is the first reason of popularity of online pharmacy market). One needs serious support from family and friends, any medications won't substitute love and warmth from beloved people, I know this from my own experience.
Among other reasons, this is why social values will never matter as much as family values. Sometimes it sucks, but there it is.

KK
 
I think depression and other mental disorders are 21st century plague (and it is the first reason of popularity of online pharmacy market). One needs serious support from family and friends, any medications won't substitute love and warmth from beloved people, I know this from my own experience.
Among other reasons, this is why social values will never matter as much as family values. Sometimes it sucks, but there it is.

KK
All true!

I took Psychiatric Anthropology and Social Stress in university. The course is very anti pharmaceutical. Often disorders that are considered incurable here are curable elsewhere. Why?

They don't get labelled like here in NA. Once you tell someone they're paranoid schizophrenic you've pretty much given them a life sentence.
Often they have extended kinship, meaning someone is home to keep an eye on them and aid them if necessary. Here they're institutionalized and therefore surrounded by a bunch of other ill people.
It's less likely that they'll be prescribed something and more likely that a local shaman, etc. will be incorporated in their recovery. Smart Western doctors working abroad will allow for local customs to be utilized while treating patients in their usual manner. They don't care what works really as long as the person gets better.

It boils down to mind over matter and familial systems.
 

black booty lover

Well-known member
Oct 21, 2007
9,738
1,655
113
All true!

I took Psychiatric Anthropology and Social Stress in university. The course is very anti pharmaceutical. Often disorders that are considered incurable here are curable elsewhere. Why?

They don't get labelled like here in NA. Once you tell someone they're paranoid schizophrenic you've pretty much given them a life sentence.
Often they have extended kinship, meaning someone is home to be around and aid the person. Here they're institutionalized.
It's less likely that they'll be prescribed something and more likely that a local shaman, etc. will be incorporated in their recovery. Smart Western doctors working abroad will allow for local customs to be utilized while treating patients in their usual manner.

It boils down to mind over matter and familial systems.

Very interesting and insightful.
 

shakenbake

Senior Turgid Member
Nov 13, 2003
7,598
1,624
113
Durham Region, Den of Iniquity
www.vafanculo.it
I`m tired of seeing the ad of this site worldpharm365.com everywhere, does anybody know what they sell there and if it`s something worth attention, how much does it cost? from the name of the domain I understand that what is meant is something like medicines or pharmacy but maybe I`m mistaken...
Why use tranquilisers for depression?
 
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