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Dancers' Contact Number or E-Mail

r__d_ott

Active member
Feb 28, 2016
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One of the the great benefits, in my experience, of participating in a posting forum like TERB and similar boards has been the ability to receive info/intel from reports by regular posters who are also attending SCs fairly regularly. In the past, this has been a great help to me (and I assume to a number of others) in keeping informed about when a certain dancer would be, or at least is likely to be, in the club in question.

However, in some cases there are either not enough regular attendees/posters or the dancer of interest is in the club too infrequently or sporadically to make even the most careful monitoring of the boards all that helpful in determining (i.e. guessing) what would be an opportune time to visit in hopes of finding a particular dancer present.

At one point an ATF dancer provided me with her cell number but I never had occasion to use it, mostly for the reason that the 'grapevine' (as noted above) kept me fairly well informed about her schedule but also 'cause I'm a bit of a Luddite as far as smartphone culture is concerned. In any case, a few people told me that she wasn't all that good about returning text messages, so the whole thing seemed to be really not that much of an issue.

More recently, a potential ATF dancer has provided me with an e-mail address for contact and I'm hoping that this will provide an opportunity for her to let me know when she's likely (or at least plannng) to be in the club.

At the risk of sounding disrespectful, I really wonder if this will in fact work out in the way I'm hoping and if she will ever use this as a channel of communication for informing me (or others) about her upcoming scheduling plans. I understand that club attendance will not be the only thing on a dancer's mind (to say the least) and it's easy to ignore and delete e-mails, perhaps even inadvertantly.

It may be that my expectations are too high in this regard, but I've always been puzzled about why more dancers don't take advantage of the relative anonymity of e-mail (or indeed participating on a forum such as this one) to keep interested clubgoers informed about their schedules.

I didn't ask for this dancer's e-mail, she provided it without prompting so I'm hoping that it will turn out to be advantageous for both of us to maintain contact in this manner.

I'd be interested in hearing the experiences of others who have been given cell numbers/e-mail addresses of dancers. Did it turn out to be a useful means of receiving info or did it turn out to be something that you/she rarely or never used?

Certainly don't intend to bombard the lady with messages but I have sent an initial e-mail mostly to provide an address to which she can reply. It may be that I'm hopelessly naive to expect anything in this regard but, to repeat, it is slightly puzzling to me that this sort of contact isn't used more often, if only for the advantage of the dancer. (Or maybe it's a lot more common than I'm aware.) Wouldn't it be worth a few minutes of e-mailing or posting to inform interested patrons that she'll be in the club?
 

pagypie81

Member
Jun 21, 2015
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its best to use it as a means to make plans as you intend. i believe you are very much like how i was; only really there to see one or two people.

email is especially safe for everyone because its very easy to be discreet with passwords and identity.

in most cases, it worked out for me in the sense i'd text to make an appt.
once i gave my number and i was often asked to come in but i felt that was very annoying so i stopped responding. the reverse happens too and customers probably get too talky.

it will work out as long as you both play things right and not be too pushy. nothing wrong with dropping a msg to ask "hey are you planning to work this week?"

and if anything goes wrong for either of you, you can always stop checking it or block the person if it came to that.
 

r__d_ott

Active member
Feb 28, 2016
296
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it will work out as long as you both play things right and not be too pushy. nothing wrong with dropping a msg to ask "hey are you planning to work this week?"
That's what I was thinking. Don't want to be too insistent, but people can get busy and forget to check e-mail messages.

Anyway, I guess it's worth exploring at least. Maybe it'll turn out to be helpful for scheduling visits.
 

Kilt Boy

BWC
Jul 12, 2017
255
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Moncton NB
reallyhorrible.ca
I have 20+ numbers of ladies I like to spend time with from several different clubs. Not one email address. A few I have much more contact with via texting, mostly for scheduling, but once in a while just to chat and set up other activities. Remember to set (and respect) the boundaries of your contact and play within them. Be cool, be clear, and don't make any promises. That can be an unfortunate trap. If you plan to go in, let her know that you plan to go in. Plans can change and she might wait around for you if you are particularly well-liked. Trust me.

If you have a SO, delete all of your texts immediately upon sending and receiving.
 

pagypie81

Member
Jun 21, 2015
83
30
18
That's what I was thinking. Don't want to be too insistent, but people can get busy and forget to check e-mail messages.

Anyway, I guess it's worth exploring at least. Maybe it'll turn out to be helpful for scheduling visits.
it could happen, but if youre a good customer, its in her best interest to check and establish you as a regular. it also helps her manage her shedule, even with booking other customers.

kb makes a good point too, if you make plans, best to live up to them. dancers will wait for you and it can be upsetting and disappointing if you're a no show. if you're a maybe best to make that clear.
 

Kilt Boy

BWC
Jul 12, 2017
255
229
43
Moncton NB
reallyhorrible.ca
"Are you working Wednesday night? Yes? Great. I plan to be there after 8pm and hope to see you then."

Concise. Clear. Not written in blood. That's how I make plans with my mates. If something comes up, I'll text them to say so.
 

ElCapitain

New member
Jun 22, 2016
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Several of the really good dancers will send you updates by text/email to let you know when they'll be in. It's just good client development, and I do appreciate it.
 

r__d_ott

Active member
Feb 28, 2016
296
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"Are you working Wednesday night? Yes? Great. I plan to be there after 8pm and hope to see you then."

Concise. Clear. Not written in blood. That's how I make plans with my mates. If something comes up, I'll text them to say so.
This is all I'm really looking for. Brisk, efficient communication.

Several of the really good dancers will send you updates by text/email to let you know when they'll be in. It's just good client development, and I do appreciate it.
Agree and would really "appreciate it" as well. Hoping this is how it will work out. We'll see.....

(In general I've found that if one does not recieve a response to an e-mail within 24 hours, the chance of an eventual reply drops to about 50%. After 48 hours, it falls to about 10%. Exceptions for weekends and the nature of the communication. Of course, in this kind of situation the info may not arrive until the dancer has decided to go to the club.)
 
Aug 16, 2017
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Firstly, we need to start with the basic understanding that these dancers meet at the very least 100 men a week. Let us ascribe a 25% rate whereby they give their phone number or e-mail to a customer - this means on average her contact list will have grown by 25 contacts per week or 100/month. With these basic numbers, we can realize, and appreciate, that dancers keeping in constant communication with their customers could very well turn into a full time job once they leave the club. Furthermore, I would imagine the less seasoned customers are overbearing and insistent and may misinterpret this exchange as a signal by the dancer that she wants to be friends with them, which likely takes up more of their time responding to. In conclusion, we can therefore assume based on the above numbers, even if slightly inflated, that it is a near impossible task for dancers to stay in touch with all previous customers.

I conclude that the chance of a dancer responding to your text or e-mail is going to be dependent on their assessment on some, but not limited to the following key factors. How much was spent on her in the initial interaction? Did you ask for her contact info or did she offer it? How often do they see you in the club/spending on CR time? Are you likeable/does she actually find you tolerable? Do you respect boundaries (boundaries as in ITC, or even her privacy outside of work DON'T BLOW UP THEIR PHONE). The nature of your texts. Lastly, environmental factors such as if the club is busy, etc.

All of these factors are considered when a dancer wants to groom regulars or keep particular customers in the know. Gary who drops in for the buffet and spends $20 for one dance won't be receiving constant texts I assure you lol.
 

blondefan

Member
Jul 6, 2015
525
3
18
i have a dancer's number and personal instagram (so yes i know her real first name). Waiting for her to text me to let me know when she is planning to work doesn't work very well. I get better results if i text a day or two in advance and she usually lets me know if she plans to be there that night.

Honestly i have been getting to the point where I go knowing i will be driving her home which is fine with me as that has always led to some fun.

And no...not willing to share details on her performing name or anything else.
 

interferon

Well-known member
Jun 29, 2010
633
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Vaughan
A lovely dancer in Ottawa a few year's back asked me for my email. We had a lot of dances and a great time. She sent me a real nice note and also some modeling photos of her. We saw each other several tiems after. A couple of times she let me know when she was switching clubs and then when she quite the business she sent me a good-bye note.
 

r__d_ott

Active member
Feb 28, 2016
296
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Firstly, we need to start with the basic understanding that these dancers meet at the very least 100 men a week. Let us ascribe a 25% rate whereby they give their phone number or e-mail to a customer - this means on average her contact list will have grown by 25 contacts per week or 100/month.
This is an interesting and thoughtful viewpoint but I have to say that, in the context of the local SCs, I'm not sure I'm entirely on board with your numerical analysis.

In some of the local clubs certain dancers may "meet" 100 men a week, but the subset that they will even consider giving contact info to will probably be much smaller - at the very least limited to those who take CR trips and probably restricted to those (unlike our friend Gary) who engage in fairly lengthy CR encounters. "Ascribing" a 25% rate of giving contact info may or may not be in the ballpark, but assuming that her "contact list" will grow by 25 names "per week or 100/month" seems unrealistic to me. Do you really think the average (or any) dancer at any of the local clubs gives contact info to roughly 1200 individuals per year? Perhaps I'm misinterpreting your implication of how such a list will grow, week after week, month after month. It strikes me that your analysis should take into account some rough upper limit on the number of 'new' or 'non-repeat' visitors to the club there may be over the longer term and how this will impose some limit on the theoretical 'growth' of such a contact list.

This is just my sense of these things, though. Perhaps my take is the unrealistic one, but I can imagine the dancers getting to the stage where it would just seem pointless to continue to give contact info to more and more individuals encountered in the club, as any meaningful use of the list would, as you suggest, turn into a serious time burden.

Certainly agree that the chance of any response is going to depend on a number of factors, especially the ones you mention.

I'm now wondering if the sheer number of times the dancer in question may have given out a cell number/e-mail address will tend to make any response unlikely. Of course, if the dancer is highly unlikely to respond (and especially if she's somewhat aware of this), it raises the question of why she would bother to give out the contact info in the first place, particularly if the info was not specifically requested. Perhaps it is simply a polite response to a comment that it is difficult to guess when she might be in the club.
 
Last edited:
Aug 16, 2017
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R_D my point was not the number that I ascribed but rather the fact that keeping constant communication with customers will be an exhaustive and near impossible task for a dancer (in either the short or long run).

We as customers must have realistic expectations in regards to the happenings of a club, and outside of it as well. Your initial post inquired why do dancers not simply send you their schedule, when after looking at several factors, we now see this is actually a much more complicated task then it may appear. In my opinion for these reasons, we should not expect this of dancers (frequent communication) but if it happens, great.
 

zbla

Active member
Jun 30, 2011
241
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More recently, a potential ATF dancer has provided me with an e-mail address for contact and I'm hoping that this will provide an opportunity for her to let me know when she's likely (or at least plannng) to be in the club.
About a year ago, I met a dancer at a club in Gatineau, we hit it off and the dances were good. Mileage was not out of this world but hints were given to me by the dancer that we could meet up outside of the club for a financial arrangement. She claimed she lost her cell or didn't have one working right now (can't remember the exact details) but she asked me for my email. I didn't want to give her my regular email (which has my first and last name in it) so I wanted to give her my throwaway hotmail account and I couldn't remember the exact code of numbers and letters in that email address (shows how much I use it) so she gave me her email address (which was basically her first and last name and it checked out with a facebook profile I found (don't have a facebook account so I just traced her name on facebook and found her profile and what she had told me about herself was true so far). A couple of days later I emailed her from my hotmail account. About 2 days later a series of emails started from her begging me to help her out as her car broke down (in some vague location between Toronto and Ottawa) and she needed me to etransfer money to her to pay for repairs etc. She promised etc that she would pay me back the next time I was at the club and she would be as well etc. The emails got more and more pleading and I ignored them or told her I wasn't able to wire money etc. Over the next month or so she would occassionally email me asking for money etc and I ignored them and after a while put her in my blocked senders list.

Just a word of warning. Make sure the email address you give her is a throwaway one that can't be traced to your phone # or actual home or work address. Best to keep your various worlds separate.
 

r__d_ott

Active member
Feb 28, 2016
296
131
43
About a year ago, I met a dancer at a club in Gatineau, we hit it off and the dances were good. Mileage was not out of this world but hints were given to me by the dancer that we could meet up outside of the club for a financial arrangement. She claimed she lost her cell or didn't have one working right now (can't remember the exact details) but she asked me for my email. I didn't want to give her my regular email (which has my first and last name in it) so I wanted to give her my throwaway hotmail account and I couldn't remember the exact code of numbers and letters in that email address (shows how much I use it) so she gave me her email address (which was basically her first and last name and it checked out with a facebook profile I found (don't have a facebook account so I just traced her name on facebook and found her profile and what she had told me about herself was true so far). A couple of days later I emailed her from my hotmail account. About 2 days later a series of emails started from her begging me to help her out as her car broke down (in some vague location between Toronto and Ottawa) and she needed me to etransfer money to her to pay for repairs etc. She promised etc that she would pay me back the next time I was at the club and she would be as well etc. The emails got more and more pleading and I ignored them or told her I wasn't able to wire money etc. Over the next month or so she would occassionally email me asking for money etc and I ignored them and after a while put her in my blocked senders list.

Just a word of warning. Make sure the email address you give her is a throwaway one that can't be traced to your phone # or actual home or work address. Best to keep your various worlds separate.
Guess there is always a chance that this sort of thing will occur.

At this stage I think it's more likely that this won't turn out to be very useful and I'll just have to rely on the 'grapevine'. If the dancer in question has provided her cell number/e-mail to a fairly large number of people (and there's a chance that she has), the points made by WtS will come into play.

In any case, I've decided to contact her requesting info re her schedule no more than once a week or maybe even once every couple of weeks. If it turns out that this is too much and annoys her, then it is really not going to benefit either of us.

Reading the various posts and thinking about the discussion above, I'm still wondering why at least some dancers don't collect e-mail addresses (maybe some do) and then just send out one message to multiple recipients giving scheduling info once a week or so. A few dancers (Bridgette at Barb's comes to mind) have used a board similar to this one to relay schedules but it seems very few ladies take advantage of the power of the interwebs to make life easier for themselves.

Anyway, thanks for everyone's input/insights on this.
 
Aug 16, 2017
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I think one of the advantages and benefits of being a dancer is that they are independent contractors. This allows for them to be extremely flexible and have nearly full autonomy over their work schedule. I am assuming that dancers, while they most likely try to achieve it, don't have a "fixed" schedule like your typical labour market. Many have second jobs, or are students with varying amounts of workload. The job itself is also physically/emotionally draining which may require sporadic days where they need to stay at home to recharge. This fluid schedule would therefore make it difficult for them to anticipate when they will be working in order to broadcast to their list. It may also be a bad business decision on their behalf if they do send out an e-mail, have customers show up, and they not appear when they said they would (i.e. angry customers).

Another potential reason they may not send out their schedule beyond those that I have stated is perhaps they don't want all of their potential customers to show up at the same time. Dancers with regulars often sit, have lengthy/more personal conversations and drinks, and don't necessarily enjoy "watching the clock". If that said dancer sends an e-mail blast and say 5 regs show up at the same time, it really puts her in a precarious and awkward position (as well as the customer potentially). Their current method allows them to pick and choose (based on my proposed criteria among other factors) much like a barber books in their client.

I can think of a few more potential reasons as to why this is the case.
 

r__d_ott

Active member
Feb 28, 2016
296
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I think one of the advantages and benefits of being a dancer is that they are independent contractors. This allows for them to be extremely flexible and have nearly full autonomy over their work schedule. I am assuming that dancers, while they most likely try to achieve it, don't have a "fixed" schedule like your typical labour market. Many also have second jobs, or are students with varying amounts of workload. The job itself is also physically/emotionally draining which may require sporadic days where they need to stay at home to recharge. This fluid schedule would therefore make it difficult for them to anticipate when they will be working in order to broadcast to their list. It may also be a bad business decision on their behalf if they do send out an e-mail, have customers show up, and they not appear when they said they would (i.e. angry customers).

Another potential reason they may not send out their schedule beyond those that I have stated is perhaps they don't want all of their potential customers to show up at the same time. Dancers with regulars often sit, have lengthy/more personal conversations and drinks, and don't necessarily enjoy "watching the clock". If that said dancer sends an e-mail blast and say 5 regs show up at the same time, it really puts her in a precarious and awkward position (as well as the customer potentially). Their current method allows them to pick and choose (based on my proposed criteria among other factors) much like a barber books in their client.

I can think of a few more potential reasons as to why this is the case.
There is likely a good deal of validity in many of the issues you've pointed out here, WtS.

Perhaps I'm thinking of it too much from the convenience point of view, the sense of disappointment when dropping into a club (somewhat) regularly for literally months and not being lucky enough to choose the days when a particular dancer (especially one with less regular attendance) will be there.

Certainly some dancers I've known have arranged to meet regulars at a certain time (one former ATF occasionally told me this) and I've just been musing that this kind of thing might be advantageous to both parties. However, as you point out, things may not be quite so straightforward.
 

Kilt Boy

BWC
Jul 12, 2017
255
229
43
Moncton NB
reallyhorrible.ca
Several of the really good dancers will send you updates by text/email to let you know when they'll be in. It's just good client development, and I do appreciate it.
Especially if they are itinerant dancers. There are a couple who let me know when they'll be in town so we don't miss one another.
 
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