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No toilet paper - has it happened to you?

essguy_

Active member
Nov 1, 2001
4,432
16
38
Maybe some others will remember but I seem to recall a thread in the MPA section years ago where a guy confessed to taking a crap in the shower. When you gotta go, you gotta go!
 

sempel

Banned
Feb 23, 2017
3,649
25
0
Maybe some others will remember but I seem to recall a thread in the MPA section years ago where a guy confessed to taking a crap in the shower. When you gotta go, you gotta go!
That's messed. Every MP has a toilet (I've made use a couple of times) so that's just wrong. I know guys have also admitted to peeing in them too which is also nasty. I can forgive that though as GS will occasionally take place.
 

huckfinn

Banned from schools.....
Aug 16, 2011
2,493
103
63
On the Credit River with Jim
Long ago in my career, I was working with a retailer opening a new store.

One of the assistant managers was in the can with no TP, and used his store cell phone to page someone to come bring him supplies!
 

Frankfooter

dangling member
Apr 10, 2015
79,777
17,584
113
Ok.

Years ago I was in California, hung out with friends and tried some excellent cactus burritos. Next day had to fly out. Went to the airport, got in the line made it up to agent (back when there were people there) and started up the process, thinking, hm, about that burrito... Agent says, 'uh, your ticket is for tomorrow', I look and realize it was. Was about to apologize and figure out what to do when I sharted. Wearing white pants. Apologized to the agent and I squirmed away to the washroom, moving very carefully with bags, back to the wall as much as possible. Made it and took over the handicapped stall as I needed some room. Fortunately some how my underwear held it all in and the white pants were still white. Cleaned myself up, grabbed clean underwear out of suitcase but then sat there not knowing what to do with the soiled pair. I should have trashed it, but instead thought the industrial toilets were up to the task. They weren't. So made a quick escape, just inches ahead of the ugly flood and ran from the airport.

Last time I'll eat cactus....
 

oil&gas

Well-known member
Apr 16, 2002
12,225
1,622
113
Ghawar
Just flatten the roll and use it to wipe your butt.
One roll is probably not enough. Nothing to worry if
you have access to a sink to wash off your hands.
 

Smallcock

Active member
Jun 5, 2009
13,703
21
38
I've never experienced this yet fortunately.
 

CANTO

Member
Aug 13, 2012
140
4
18
I guess one of the few bright sides to having bad allergies is that I always have Kleenex on me, so the few times I've been in this situation I've been able to manage without having to resort to any desperate measures.
 

oil&gas

Well-known member
Apr 16, 2002
12,225
1,622
113
Ghawar
Kleenex clogs toilet very messily. I guess that's ok if it is
not your toilet.
 

black booty lover

Well-known member
Oct 21, 2007
9,739
1,655
113
Ok.

but instead thought the industrial toilets were up to the task. They weren't. So made a quick escape, just inches ahead of the ugly flood and ran from the airport.
.

You tried flushing your underwear down the toilet??? Jesus fucking Christ!!!! LOL!!!
 
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Johnny Utah

Active member
Jun 9, 2017
589
60
28
A few years ago I was finishing a ride on my motorcycle. I already had made two craps that morning and thought nothing if having a Tims coffee.

Picture the rumbling of the engine between your legs on a warm day all tired from a ride. My stomach starts churning.

I started to panic. I was out in the boonies near Uxbridge. In fact the sensation kept coming and going as I willed it to go away until I got home, that I didn’t stop in Uxbridge. I Was living in Newmarket at the time but thought I could make it to Aurora.

I was wrong. Dead wrong.

I had to pull over to the side and leave my very expensive and shiny red bike. I ran and wobbled, trying to get off my full gear and hoping nobody saw me. I considered knocking on a door and asking but I was too scared. I made it to the front of a house. The house was probably over 150 feet away and I was close to a ravine and the street and just let her rip.

I used leaves.

It felt so good. The pain was gone. I wobbled back, full gear remember, and picked up myself only to be greeted by a concerned driver. It makes sense. It’s like seeing a red Ferrari on the side of the road but with a bike I would be concerned that somebody wiped out.

Embarrassingly I just said I had to pee.

One of the worst experiences I have ever had. And I had poo’d myself at school when I was little!
 

sempel

Banned
Feb 23, 2017
3,649
25
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Kleenex clogs toilet very messily. I guess that's ok if it is
not your toilet.
either you are using a ton or industrial strength. I've never had an issue. It's not the same thing but it kind of is - tissue and toilet paper. Both come apart fairly easy when wet. Of the few times I've seen a clogged toilet, it was using a TON of toilet paper. And sometimes you need a lot, but if you flush down the first wave, clogging doesn't happen.
 

thirdcup

Well-known member
Jan 4, 2005
1,330
109
63
Directly above the center of the earth
Does anyone remember MacLean & MacLean?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacLean_&_MacLean
Two brothers. They were a comedy duo who had several records and performed. Their humour was toilet humour, nothing was too gross or distasteful for these guys. Knowing this, I saw them roughly a millenium ago. One of their bits opened with "Who here can honestly say they have never shit their pants?" Maybe this bit is on one of their records, if you can still find one.
 

rhuarc29

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2009
9,591
1,194
113
Went for a jog after eating out. Got about 30 minutes away from home before I started to feel it. Turned back at 45 minutes when I realized something rough was coming on. Only made it a third of the way back before I was shitting in the woods. Did my best to clean up with leaves, but it was late autumn. Made it home and grabbed a quick change of clothes before anyone could waylay me. Nobody the wiser. :peace:
 

sempel

Banned
Feb 23, 2017
3,649
25
0
At least it wasn't poison ivy. :) I had a family member drop trow and sit over a log to go, the log moved, and they tumbled into a pile of poison ivy. They had a pretty terrible few months after that.
That's a different way to get jock itch!
 
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