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Workplace crush

Don Simpson

Member
Feb 19, 2008
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I'm working in a temporary office, approaching the end of a contract assignment. Over the past few months I have developed a workplace crush. I'd like to get to know her better, however she works in a bullpen environment making it difficult to connect one-on-one without others eavesdropping and being nosy. I'd prefer to avoid being mentioned in any office gossip.

From my own point of view, I don't sense she knows I am interested in getting to know her more (we are both busy with our own work throughout the day and I have remained professional when interacting with her), but when I see her in the kitchen I am friendly and do initiate conversation when possible. I am definitely physically attracted to her, and want to get to know her better, but without other co-workers knowing.

Looking for tips to how best ask her outside of work/once the assignment ends.

Perhaps I'm struggling with how to phrase my ask without directly asking for a 'date', perhaps I'm struggling because I cannot read her signals/body language, perhaps I'm struggling because if I ask directly, I'd rather not be rejected... (Do I tell her I'm physically attracted to her and be upfront about it and roll the dice?)

I thought I would utilize the lounge for once to see what other TERBites thought on the matter...
 

omegaphallic

Well-known member
Mar 26, 2010
3,003
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I'm working in a temporary office, approaching the end of a contract assignment. Over the past few months I have developed a workplace crush. I'd like to get to know her better, however she works in a bullpen environment making it difficult to connect one-on-one without others eavesdropping and being nosy. I'd prefer to avoid being mentioned in any office gossip.

From my own point of view, I don't sense she knows I am interested in getting to know her more (we are both busy with our own work throughout the day and I have remained professional when interacting with her), but when I see her in the kitchen I am friendly and do initiate conversation when possible. I am definitely physically attracted to her, and want to get to know her better, but without other co-workers knowing.

Looking for tips to how best ask her outside of work/once the assignment ends.

Perhaps I'm struggling with how to phrase my ask without directly asking for a 'date', perhaps I'm struggling because I cannot read her signals/body language, perhaps I'm struggling because if I ask directly, I'd rather not be rejected... (Do I tell her I'm physically attracted to her and be upfront about it and roll the dice?)

I thought I would utilize the lounge for once to see what other TERBites thought on the matter...
Don't it's not worth it in the era of #Metoo.
 

wazup

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2010
4,280
581
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Sounds like you're in the friend zone. Women always give signs through their body language. Try a corny pick up line.

You: there's a rumour spreading around the office that your parents are drug dealers

Her: what, who said that?

You: I started it because you're dope.

Or

You: if you're looking for a stud, I have the std, now I just need u

There is usually some sign you would have picked up on. Plus are you being realistic with age difference and looks?
 

Butler1000

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2011
28,714
3,410
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Simple.

You are at the end of the contract. If you don't plan on renewing then on your last day privately ask if she would like to go out on a date. Direct and simple. If she says no be gracious and wish her well. Or you get a date.

If you think you will renew at some point ask yourself What a more important. Her or the work. Gut will tell you.

Good luck.
 

Aardvark154

New member
Jan 19, 2006
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Basically what Butler posted above. Do you ever see her alone in the kitchen?

Your last week of the contract ask her if she would like to go out for a drink (lunch) name a nice spot with plenty of people. Don't press it give her a business card with your e-mail address and phone number. Leave the ball in her court.
 

The "Bone" Ranger

tits lover
Aug 5, 2006
4,229
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What are your ages? Both single? If she had interest in you she would show it and you would see at the very least subtle hints. I would try taking for lunch as a start...
 

essguy_

Active member
Nov 1, 2001
4,432
16
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Casual lunch of even just coffee - but do this before your contract ends. If you sense any potential, exchange numbers so that you can ask her out for real date.
 

kono

Member
May 19, 2009
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I've been down this road. You're odds of you and her being alone in that type of environment might be slim. Which mean you'll have to have that conversation with eavesdroppers lurking around.
I don't know if you want to wait till the last day to make your move? But when / if you do, try being causal (easier said then done under the pressure). "I wondering if you'd like to grab a bite to eat sometime" "No pressure or expectations just 2 people going out". And see what she says. If she says no "I have a bf", "I just got out of a serious relationship, I'm not looking" etc then wish her well and move on.
If you ask her what ever happens after that at least you can say you tried.

 

Smallcock

Active member
Jun 5, 2009
13,703
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Are you nuts? Asking a female in the workplace for a date could be construed as inappropriate and/or sexual harassment. Ditto for telling her you find her "attractive" (obviously, that's sexual in nature).

Why can't a girl just earn her money without being harassed? #Metoo
 

Smallcock

Active member
Jun 5, 2009
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IM469

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2012
10,851
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Casual lunch of even just coffee - but do this before your contract ends. If you sense any potential, exchange numbers so that you can ask her out for real date.
If you are outside the office for casual lunch or coffee, it's already a done deal. I'm guessing that he hasn't even carried on an informal conversation in the lunchroom, otherwise he would already know the likely response. If women get a hint of your intent and aren't interested - a boyfriend or hubby usually makes it into any inquiry of future plans. As you are finishing up, office gossip is mute so if you see her in the lunchroom, ask if you could join her at the lunch table. You have nothing to lose.
 

oil&gas

Well-known member
Apr 16, 2002
12,225
1,622
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Ghawar
As already pointed out, asking a female co-worker out for a
date carries the risk of sexual harassment accusation these
days. If I were the OP and was desperate enough I think I
may as well take on more risk than inviting her to a lunch
or coffee break to maximize the chance of getting her
attention. I'd find a chance to flirt with her. Saying
something explicit like "I can see your nipples showing
through your shirt" could elicit a surprise response.
 

IM469

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2012
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Saying something explicit like "I can see your nipples showing through your shirt" could elicit a surprise response.
Yes, I would agree with that .. it's hard to predict whether it will be a slap or a knee to the groin.
 

The "Bone" Ranger

tits lover
Aug 5, 2006
4,229
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I don't agree with the sexual harrassment comments here - merely suggesting grabbing a bite together is fairly casual - heck my female colleagues will ask me once in a while - doesn't mean they are trying to sleep with me (obviously since I am here ): )
 

IM469

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2012
10,851
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I don't agree with the sexual harrassment comments here - merely suggesting grabbing a bite together is fairly casual - heck my female colleagues will ask me once in a while - doesn't mean they are trying to sleep with me (obviously since I am here ): )
A lot depends on how you look as you ask her ...

 

Mr Bret

Well-known member
Aug 13, 2012
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A few good suggestions so far.
I think I'd avoid asking her on a date before the contract is finished. As others alluded to, too dangerous these days.
I'd just casually say to her that you'd like to keep in touch with her after your contract is done. Give her your number/e-mail or whatever your preference is for contact info, and ask her for her number.
You'll know by how she responds if you should pursue her or not. If you get her number, give her a buzz a couple of days after you're gone fro that office.

But just ask for her contact info, not a date until you contact her afterwards.
 

mandrill

Well-known member
Aug 23, 2001
69,938
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Everyone has their own approach. I would avoid making any approach until you are out of there. For one thing, if she turns you down flat, it's uncomfortable to run into her every day. Ditto if she expresses mild interest, because you then have to handle a situation where you see her all the time at work in a crowd without being able to develop any rapport one on one.

I would phone her 2 or 3 days after your contract ends and ask if she wants to go out for coffee or lunch. That's less intimidating than a full-on date. She may not have realized you were interested and wish an opportunity to size you up in a brief 30 minute Starbucks meeting before committing to a full evening with you.

Be natural and casual. Say that you thought she seemed really nice and smart. Don't lead off with comments about her appearance. She will guess you think she is hot, but that should not be your verbal pitch to her. If anything of mutual interest came up in conversation while you were working together, try and milk it a little. Did she say she was interested in art? The AGO has a free Wednesday and ask her if she wants to join you. At the very least, she will think that you are a nice guy to offer to do something that she likes.
 
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