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RIP August Ames

omegaphallic

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I know we all like to be supportive of women, sex is not as taboo, we are open-minded, etc. But I still find it weird that we are talking about the PORN industry and a PORN actress like she was a major contributor to this world. I reserve my sympathy in these matters for young talent (and I mean music, acting, sports talent) that die early while they are in their prime. Maybe it's just how I think - I probably value and appreciate these other things more.
She was am young talent asshole, she spread more joy then you will asshole.
 

omegaphallic

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Seriously?? Get some perspective.....

There were much bigger disasters going on all throughout the fall (how many people died thru the 3 or so major hurricanes to hit the carribean and the southern US?), or even the most recent wildfires in and around LA/California would be much much bigger disasters than this.
You are being too fucking literal. I not referring to eniviromental disaster, I'm talking online social disaster.
 

explorerzip

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Jul 27, 2006
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I agree, I don't like that there is no attempt separate those who'd merely criticized her logic from those who got really fucking nasty.

And people really need to stop throwing around the term victim blaming, because while the way she was treated online really was horrible and her death is really horrible, August Ames committed suicide, she wasn't murdered, she inflicted the physical violence on herself, hurting her loved ones in the process. So yes it partly is her fault, no one else killed August Ames. She should turned twitter off or liberally used the ignore button.

Look I cried when I found out August Ames died, and I cursed out her bullies and I do hold them partly responsible, but August Ames still had a lot to live for and she ultimately was the one who choose a horrible way to deal with this, so its not victim blaming to acknowledge some of the responsibility lay with the person who ultimately decided to commit suicide. August Ames had full agency and used it poorly.
Depression is more complicated than this and causes people to make irrational decisions. So I disagree that August had full control over her own actions. You also cannot say that the health care industry failed her because we don't know if she actually sought out help. Even if she did, she would have to stay committed to taking the medication or treatment.

While some like to blame online bullying as the cause of her death, the truth is multi-facted

1. Being sexually abused by her grandfather
2. Strained relations with her father
3. No relations with her mother
4. Father likely disapproved of her porn career further straining relations and likely contributing to depression
5. She likely felt that she had no future because she lost out on gigs

I think that the strained relationship with her dad and losing out on gigs had more to do with her suicide than bullying. Bullying definitely contributed to her suicide, but not the root cause. She likely felt that her career was over and had no one to turn to even though she had her brother and husband. I think everyone can relate to feeling depressed if we lose a job especially if your life's work. The entertainment industry makes it worse because you constantly get showered with praise and awards. August may have felt betrayed when some of those same people turned on her.
 

Smallcock

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canada-man

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so the left is now promoting lgbt rape now?


Take Off Your Dress, Bigot
Except that last I checked, there’s a word for when a woman is threatened and bullied into sex with someone she feels uncomfortable with, for any reason whatsoever: “Rape.” Again, it’s worth noting that Ames and other performers believably insist that their aversion is simply about health risks, not discrimination. It doesn’t inspire confidence that gay activists have been arguing for some time that HIV infections should be a private matter. California even recently passed a law reducing the criminal charges related to knowingly exposing someone to deadly virus.

Well, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that a mob that would tell Ames to kill herself if she won’t have sex with someone who has sex with other men would also happily pass a law requiring porn stars to be subject to penalties for discriminating in who they sleep with. Certainly, trans activists are already pushing the idea that you’re transphobic if you won’t sleep with transsexuals. You really have to marvel at how fast we’ve progressed from “Bake the cake, bigot” to “Take off your dress, bigot.”

In the end, it’s hard to know what to say, because we’ve heard it all before and we’ll hear it again. Ames was an innocent young girl who was molested by her grandfather. Becoming a porn star gave her the illusion of gaining control over the most traumatic aspect of her childhood. When she made the mistake of trying to publicly assert control over who she had sex with as a Sex Positive Adult Film Star, hordes of angry people she’d never met bullied her and told her to kill herself. So she did.

http://thefederalist.com/2017/12/07/porn-star-commits-suicide-mob-hounds-refusing-partner-gay-sex/
 

explorerzip

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That is what I find horrible about social media and forums where people create usernames, discuss about random things online and become online friends... There is nothing real in there... Unless you met the person, you cannot know them, know how they are really, nor can you call them friends. I find it ridiculous when people accumulate friends and subscribers online and are proud of this and love to showoff how many they have. Cyber life isn't real life.

Some people rather have 100+ fake friends, that never call them, never worry about them, never see them, but comment on their pics and leave thumbs up, than having just one or two that really care, and actually try to find time to talk and listen to them and see them, and even help them if needed.

Society is crazy. Fame and fortune is much more important these days than real love and friendship. One person is enough to love and care for you, that is all you need in your life, but when all the superficial stuff prevents you from seeing that, then that is when everything goes wrong, one real person isn't enough, you become lonely, and lonely isn't a way to live...
Yes, this is very sad and could be the reason for her downfall. No matter how many people praised her or wanted to be her friend, she was missing out on real and authentic relationships even though she had a loving brother and husband.
 

omegaphallic

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Mar 26, 2010
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Depression is more complicated than this and causes people to make irrational decisions. So I disagree that August had full control over her own actions. You also cannot say that the health care industry failed her because we don't know if she actually sought out help. Even if she did, she would have to stay committed to taking the medication or treatment.

While some like to blame online bullying as the cause of her death, the truth is multi-facted

1. Being sexually abused by her grandfather
2. Strained relations with her father
3. No relations with her mother
4. Father likely disapproved of her porn career further straining relations and likely contributing to depression
5. She likely felt that she had no future because she lost out on gigs

I think that the strained relationship with her dad and losing out on gigs had more to do with her suicide than bullying. Bullying definitely contributed to her suicide, but not the root cause. She likely felt that her career was over and had no one to turn to even though she had her brother and husband. I think everyone can relate to feeling depressed if we lose a job especially if your life's work. The entertainment industry makes it worse because you constantly get showered with praise and awards. August may have felt betrayed when some of those same people turned on her.
When I said that the mental health profession failed, I meant it, she sought out mental health support and the first thing they'd tell her upon finding out that she was a sex worker, is that that was the cause of her problems. She needed mental health support, not career counciling and judgement.

This goes to a bigger issues, because given this is the experience August Ames had, then its likely a common experience for sex workers have when seeking mental health help. I want the mental health industry to learn from this.
 

essguy_

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so the left is now promoting lgbt rape now?


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"the left"?? Seriously, WTF? Why do some people feel the need to dumb everything down to a simplistic, blanket comment on "the left" or "the right" even when a story has absolutely nothing to do with politics?
 

sempel

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Feb 23, 2017
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She was am young talent asshole, she spread more joy then you will asshole.
You are being too fucking literal. I not referring to eniviromental disaster, I'm talking online social disaster.
Man, you have way too much invested in this. I wonder how you're able to type so much because one or both of your hands must be really sore from frequent use.

There are real contributors to society and those that really don't. Healthcare workers, safety workers, etc. are real contributors. Most honest, hardworking people are contributors. Artists, painters, musicians, some are real contributors. Some actors are real contributors. Their contributions either improve society or keep it running.

Others do not contribute anything substantial. Some actors cannot act, their movies are terrible (mainly because of them). So I care nothing about them if they are gone. Does Kim Kardashian contribute anything to this world? I'd say no. People on shows like Real Housewives? No. People in porn? No. It's not that many, myself included, aren't benefiting from them doing what they do, but me watching a porn scene doesn't affect me to the point where I care about the star, her life, and will get upset if she's gone. Others may get more attached but I don't. I don't think badly of them or wish harm upon them but I won't become severely depressed if they no longer produce whatever they produce.

In my opinion, her wrong was not that she spoke up and shared her opinion. Her wrong was to say what she did publicly. Doing so privately, with the right people, would have been much better. It clearly offended gay, bis, crossovers and gay right advocates. When you hurt people, you apologize, even if you don't mean it and still think you're right.
No drama lasts forever, there’s always going to be new drama to forget the old one. I really do believe that time would have calmed people down and perhaps would have made her understand how some people were affected by her words. Taking some time back, offline, to consider every aspect of the situation, and returning with a thoughtful statement, instead of short meaningless tweets, would have made everything much better. Even though I didn’t like her last comments, I really don’t think they were that big of a deal, and she may not have meant any wrong, but still, she offended some people. An apology and statement, sooner or later, would have been nice.

The bullying was extremely wrong, and may have been what ultimately made her take the decision to commit suicide, but it’s clear that much more stuff was going on in her life, way before that first tweet of hers that started this whole drama. She was already depressed, and I don’t think the porn industry helped in any way. This industry, to many, is filled with a bunch of people not wanting to get an education, not wanting to have real jobs, not wanting to have a real respectful purpose in life, not wanting to showcase their intelligence and talents (sorry, but fucking and sucking dick is no talent, be it in porn or escorting). Same for the sex industry, not many people think highly of escorts, strippers, etc...


That is what I find horrible about social media and forums where people create usernames, discuss about random things online and become online friends... There is nothing real in there... Unless you met the person, you cannot know them, know how they are really, nor can you call them friends. I find it ridiculous when people accumulate friends and subscribers online and are proud of this and love to showoff how many they have. Cyber life isn't real life.

Some people rather have 100+ fake friends, that never call them, never worry about them, never see them, or only see them to party or when it's convinient and that comment on their pics and leave thumbs up, rather than having just one or two that really care, and actually try to find time to talk and listen to them and see them, and even help them if needed.

Society is crazy. Fame and fortune is much more important these days than real love and friendship. One person is enough to love and care for you, that is all you need in your life, but when all the superficial stuff prevents you from seeing that, then that is when everything goes wrong, one real person isn't enough, you become lonely, and lonely isn't a way to live...
I agree with many of the things you've said. I've bolded the statement that says it all - there is no talent required to be in porn. You may need to have a certain attractiveness (GND or DDG), you may want to be in good shape, but for a woman, I think anyone can do it (of course with some physical and mental fortitude) if they want. So forgive me if I don't care if a pornstar retires, quits, or dies. Their contribution to society is nothing substantial, it won't be remembered, it's not really art (although some of it is moving more in that direction).

I also have to say that online bullying is bad and some people are very impressionable, but online bullying is nothing - you can ignore it, turn it off, etc. In person bullying is a problem and you cannot turn it off (an adult can stay in but a child who's being bullied at school still has to go to school). That said, people should not bully others online as if it doesn't matter - you are still a bully. I see no problem with disagreement, even heated argument but cursing the other person, attacking, threatening, it's all wrong and anybody who does so is a bully.

Depression is more complicated than this and causes people to make irrational decisions. So I disagree that August had full control over her own actions. You also cannot say that the health care industry failed her because we don't know if she actually sought out help. Even if she did, she would have to stay committed to taking the medication or treatment.

While some like to blame online bullying as the cause of her death, the truth is multi-facted

1. Being sexually abused by her grandfather
2. Strained relations with her father
3. No relations with her mother
4. Father likely disapproved of her porn career further straining relations and likely contributing to depression
5. She likely felt that she had no future because she lost out on gigs

I think that the strained relationship with her dad and losing out on gigs had more to do with her suicide than bullying. Bullying definitely contributed to her suicide, but not the root cause. She likely felt that her career was over and had no one to turn to even though she had her brother and husband. I think everyone can relate to feeling depressed if we lose a job especially if your life's work. The entertainment industry makes it worse because you constantly get showered with praise and awards. August may have felt betrayed when some of those same people turned on her.
agreed. I don't put her though into the same category as a real artist or person who's life is over. A sports star who's hand is cut off will not work. An artist who goes blind cannot work. An adult actress who is shunned by the industry - her life isn't over. However, I can see the fact that her having mental issues may have magnified this belief and led her to suicide. Same thing with the bullying. A normal person can ignore or turn it off. But for others, that approval is everything and the sudden disapproval can set them off.
 

sempel

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Feb 23, 2017
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When I said that the mental health profession failed, I meant it, she sought out mental health support and the first thing they'd tell her upon finding out that she was a sex worker, is that that was the cause of her problems. She needed mental health support, not career counciling and judgement.

This goes to a bigger issues, because given this is the experience August Ames had, then its likely a common experience for sex workers have when seeking mental health help. I want the mental health industry to learn from this.
So, we don't know if she sought out professional help so can't blame the health care industry. Second, assuming they'd blame her job is just that, an assumption. Three, many healthcare professionals will blame a job because many jobs are a major cause of stress for a variety of reasons.

I think you have a bad impression of the industry. I am sure if she had spoken to someone, many reasons other than her being an adult actress would have been considered part of the issue.

"the left"?? Seriously, WTF? Why do some people feel the need to dumb everything down to a simplistic, blanket comment on "the left" or "the right" even when a story has absolutely nothing to do with politics?
agreed

Wow you are a way bigger asshole than I/we thought you were.

Doesnt matter at all what she does. She is a human being. She is someones daughter (in this case perhaps maybe pre-death that relationship was a root cause to the outcome) but guaranteed now that she is gone her parents are feeling it. Might be someones sister. Definitely many friends. She woke up, ate, showered, went to work just like you and I do. Maybe it isnt a profession that you deem to be credible, but you are also on this board reviewing, positively sometimes people in the industry. Pretty sure I read somewhere that you also hung out or dated a MPA but maybe I am mistaken. That makes you a pretty huge hypocrite my friend. You seem to like girls who aren't major contributors to this world.

In my opinion, anytime something like this happens, regardless of who they are, it is sad. Rich people and poor people, well connected or invisible, all people are important. To get to the point where someone takes their own life is a terrible situation.

Still shaking my head at the shit that comes out of your mouth.
Clearly you don't read half of what I write so you come to the wrong conclusion based on excerpts and half-quotes. I think suicide is tragic. I think the porn industry has a lot of negatives and many people have suffered depression, STI's, or killed themselves due to their time in it. I never have stated otherwise.

I don't mourn the loss of August Ames like some people who act like their world is at an end because they lost out on future porn which is what my point was.
 

explorerzip

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Jul 27, 2006
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An adult actress who is shunned by the industry - her life isn't over.
Who are you to say that her life wasn't over when the industry shunned her? Maybe you want to look down on her for only being a porn star, but she certainly put the work and dedication to get where she was in the industry. She may have felt that she could no longer earn a living despite putting in the time and dedication to get where she was. Mix that shock with her family issues and bouts with depressions and that could lead someone to kill themselves.

People don't think logically when dealing with that many sources of stress.
 

explorerzip

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Jul 27, 2006
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Man, you have way too much invested in this. I wonder how you're able to type so much because one or both of your hands must be really sore from frequent use.

There are real contributors to society and those that really don't. Healthcare workers, safety workers, etc. are real contributors. Most honest, hardworking people are contributors. Artists, painters, musicians, some are real contributors. Some actors are real contributors. Their contributions either improve society or keep it running.

Others do not contribute anything substantial. Some actors cannot act, their movies are terrible (mainly because of them). So I care nothing about them if they are gone. Does Kim Kardashian contribute anything to this world? I'd say no. People on shows like Real Housewives? No. People in porn? No. It's not that many, myself included, aren't benefiting from them doing what they do, but me watching a porn scene doesn't affect me to the point where I care about the star, her life, and will get upset if she's gone. Others may get more attached but I don't. I don't think badly of them or wish harm upon them but I won't become severely depressed if they no longer produce whatever they produce.
So what exactly would your contribution to mankind be? She's not finding a cure to cancer, or eliminating poverty with her work, but how many of us are contributing in that way?

She actually contributed a lot by being involved in an industry that employs tens of thousands of people and pays taxes. Just to name a few: make up artists, camera operators, sound techs, editors, directors, writers, agents, actors, etc. Not to mention all the people involved in making DVD's, web-sites, and the list goes on and on.

The same goes with people like Kim K. I agree that she does not have much redeeming value either, but people buy products with her name on it and that creates jobs.
 

Insidious Von

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"the left"?? Seriously, WTF? Why do some people feel the need to dumb everything down to a simplistic, blanket comment on "the left" or "the right" even when a story has absolutely nothing to do with politics?
Relax essguy, canada-man doesn't know any better, he's an automaton who worships Trump's piss pot. I'm giving his face a break from my ass.

I read an article on August Ames, she seemed emotionally frail from the get go. She probably was very attractive before she was strong armed into the heavy augmentation she underwent. Her problem was that the porn industry frowns on condoms in scenes. Some female performers are resolute enough to demand them, AA seemed like she was repeatedly brow beaten. She finally took a stand but couldn't handle the fallout. A very sad story of a manipulated young girl.
 

canada-man

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Relax essguy, canada-man doesn't know any better, he's an automaton who worships Trump's piss pot. I'm giving his face a break from my ass.

I read an article on August Ames, she seemed emotionally frail from the get go. She probably was very attractive before she was strong armed into the heavy augmentation she underwent. Her problem was that the porn industry frowns on condoms in scenes. Some female performers are resolute enough to demand them, AA seemed like she was repeatedly brow beaten. She finally took a stand but couldn't handle the fallout. A very sad story of a manipulated young girl.
obviously you did not read my posts
 

sempel

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Feb 23, 2017
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Who are you to say that her life wasn't over when the industry shunned her? Maybe you want to look down on her for only being a porn star, but she certainly put the work and dedication to get where she was in the industry. She may have felt that she could no longer earn a living despite putting in the time and dedication to get where she was. Mix that shock with her family issues and bouts with depressions and that could lead someone to kill themselves.

People don't think logically when dealing with that many sources of stress.
I don't look down on her for being a pornstar. This has little to do with her specifically. It has more to do with people's reactions, some of which are over the top. She wasn't the Pope, she wasn't Mother Theresa, she wasn't Sully the airline pilot. My impression is most people who are really upset are doing it because they realize they won't get any more porn from her. At the same time, she was not a mentally healthy individual who decided to do porn because that was her choice, her desire to express herself sexually, etc. For her porn was probably closer to alcohol/drugs versus a healthy form of therapy. She's not a Nina Hartley type who seems to be a very normal, smart individual who has embraced her sexuality through porn (Nina does a number of interviews in documentaries). She wasn't like some of the porn activists within the industry pushing for better pay, better testing, better conditions, etc.

So what exactly would your contribution to mankind be? She's not finding a cure to cancer, or eliminating poverty with her work, but how many of us are contributing in that way?

She actually contributed a lot by being involved in an industry that employs tens of thousands of people and pays taxes. Just to name a few: make up artists, camera operators, sound techs, editors, directors, writers, agents, actors, etc. Not to mention all the people involved in making DVD's, web-sites, and the list goes on and on.

The same goes with people like Kim K. I agree that she does not have much redeeming value either, but people buy products with her name on it and that creates jobs.
Every industry employs people so the argument is moot. Is a drug kingpin a contributing member? Employs people, pays incomes. I think we'd all say no. Even someone employed in the tobacco industry. Sure they work and pay taxes. But they are part of an industry that creates products that slowly kill people (I am not saying porn is like tobacco).

She was a person I didn't know so there's no connection. She works in an industry that has no barriers to entry other than natural, God-given looks/anatomy (enhancements aside). She may have worked hard when she entered but it's not the same as an actor, singer, sports star, or anybody else who's invested years and money to train and be good at their craft. Similarly, if a famous model died, I wouldn't think much of it. I'd feel worse if she died from anorexia or some other type of issue that the modeling industry perpetuates.
 
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