I had another session with a well reviewed SP today. As good as she is things were taken care of well before my hour was up so we had some time to talk. She told me something that got me really irate. She had a client tell her that she was at her weight limit and needs to lose 10 lbs. This obviously got her upset; and me too! Commence rant -> #1 she is absolutely dynamite as she is! Everyone has their idea of what perfection is and we all don't agree all the time but I'm calling perfection on this one. She looks lean like she works out and takes care of herself and that is attractive! #2, I don't think she even has 10 lbs to lose without looking unhealthy. These are the things eating disorders are made of and completely unnecessary.
It seems to be common that girls use older pics of when they weighed less and I can understand guys being upset by some of the lies they use but (im guessing at numbers here) if a 5'7" sp weighs 130lbs and that's considered unacceptable since they think they should only be 120lbs that is flat out dumb. This is unrealistic and if the client in question is reading this thread let me be first in line to call you a dick sir!
I forgot to ask but I really hope the SP punched the guy in the nose!
I see how this can be upsetting. There is no reason to tell a person they are at their "weight limit". To use terminology like that suggests it was meant to be hurtful in some way. For whatever reason. To hurt her, make himself feel better - we will never know. And there are men and women alike who will insult anyone at any weight class. Some say eat a sandwich, some say put down the burger. The important thing is to not let these types of people gain the negative affect they are after. I am sure there are many "suggestions" she could have made to him about his appearance, but that would just feed into him. So there is no point.
I would suggest to her to find some other ladies in the industry to vent this stuff too. There are plenty of SP only places to chat. Some on review boards, some are site specific. That is the better place to talk about things like this because she can also get some good feedback on how to cope. Where you are showing great support, talking to women who go through this all the time, she can get some actual tips and strategies from those who were successful in these exact same situations. That way the negative affect is not staying with her.
What's the problem?
The guy paid his $, and suggested the SP lose a few pounds.... It's really no different than paying for a meal, and suggesting to the restaurant to ease up on the cilantro.
To the SP - time to realize that you're in the business of selling your body, therefore take the critique of your body as part of the business.... The same way a chef would take a constructive critique of his craft.
BTW - I'm sure the SP will take the guys $ all day long.
Also, it's damn unprofessional of the SP to bring up interaction with other clients... Do any of you do that in your profession? ...personally, I don't give a rat's ass what a previous customer said about your body - you're on my time/my dime.
I somewhat agree, although I would say it slightly different. I don't agree with body critiquing however.
I am a considered a BBW as well. I say considered because I personally do not agree with the term. Big Beautiful Woman assumes all us "fat chicks" fall under the same umbrella and that is simply not true. I choose to use different terms to describe myself but more importantly, I ensure that I use as real, candid and accurate pics as possible in my advertising. If a person wants to call me this or that, suggest I lose/gain weight, change hair/nails, tells me to tan, whatever - I will it take as I take everything else. With a grain of salt.
To say I or others should take it as a constructive critique suggests however that we are in a position where we require it at all. I advertise as I am. Therefore as the customer, you take that or you leave that. I am not leaving a comment card by the door for you to fill out. I will take requests or feedback for things like website add-ons, new toy purchases, touring locations, hotel recommendations, etc but as far as selling my body - I will not listen to critiques regarding it because you have the choice not to book me based on your body preference. You want to use the chef analogy, you don't go to Hell's Kitchen to suggest what Gordon Ramsay should add to his signature beef wellington. You go because you want to try it and if you like it, you go back. If you don't like it, then you don't go back. Simple.
I would not continue to take the client's money personally. This provider may or may not, but I am going to go with "not". Why? Because clearly it affected her, and I don't think any of us want to be with someone who does not want us as we are, assuming advertising is accurate. I do hope this provider is in a position where she can turn down the client in the future, however some do not have that privilege and I don't think it is right to degrade the provider if she is unable to deny the income.
I do agree that a provider should not be discussing other clients, even if you feel you can find solace in that current gentleman you are with. I think professionalism should trump all. I would not agree with my dentist rattling on about work issues, or even personal issues while she cleans my teeth. So I agree there.
I also agree that there are some providers who would not care, who would use the sob story to gain attention from this gentleman, and would continue to take the first clients money all the way to the bank. However, we don't know if that is the case here, and I would never want to judge someone who is unknown in a negative light first. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and not look at life so jaded.
