Gntlmn, what you are saying may be true for some (I have no statistics on percentage but in my view a minority) and I agree with the statement but what I don't agree is the generalization that your statement appears to be making referring to strippers (I prefer to call them dancers or nude dancers rather) in general leaves the impression that ALL of them are engaged in sex or sexual activities. There are many who are strictly dancers especially those at Barbarellas, Barefax and even Pigales. They are simply what a nude dancer is supposed to be that is an entertainer. As an example I would guess a very tiny minority of dancers may allow fingering as per question asked by OP. I do NOT consider hugging and kissing (kiss on face and above belly) or contact dance (again above the belly) as sex or sexual activities.
The reason I am sensitive to this subject and wish to clarify it again and again and would adhere to what I see as factual (dancers are entertainers not sex workers) is because the generalization statement in my view could be misleading and may lead some patrons (or especially those who start strip bars for first time) initiating unwanted advances or demanding sexual services based on what they read here from those entertainer dancers who in my view are a majority (or whatever the percentage may be) when they frequent strip bars and this may result in unfortunate circumstances for both sides, dancers in particular.
I know of a real case scenario about 7-8 years ago when a dancer (while dancing having her back to the stupid customer in the CR) was fingered suddenly and she slapped the idiot customer in the face who likely thought it was a norm but the poor dancer had nightmares and psychological issues for months to come and eventually quit the dancing job. I knew her for a year and she was a sweetheart. I am sure this is not an isolated incident and I do not wish to encourage such scenarios and since I know you for years and I know as a fact you don't want that either Gntlmn.
Strongly agree that unwarranted and unrealistic (in the case of many, but not all, dancers) expectations certainly can lead to very unfortunate and unhappy outcomes. However, having said that, a significant benefit of fairly frank and honest discussion boards such as this one (and perhaps even more open discussion via PM between/among SC enthusiasts) is the ability for clubgoers to have a bit of a sense of the approach that some dancers may take to these matters.
My own approach at most clubs has been to let the dancer "take the lead", so to speak, in terms of mid-to-slightly higher mileage encounters and this has always worked well for me, especially with a long-time ATF. As dancer and clubgoer become more familiar with each other, the comfort level increases for each of them i.e. both dancer and 'client' know both what to expect and what the limits are.
At a venue with a more liberal reputation, I've always asked the dancer what her limits are and I've found that this rarely causes consternation on the part of the dancer. When I was a less experienced clubgoer, I could often be a bit hesitant/shy to ask very straightforwardly about these things, but when in doubt I really think that the respectful thing to do is to ask the lady what is acceptable. Some may respond that "asking" can be seen as a form of (very) mild coercion - in the sense that a dancer having a slow day may feel that she wants to accede to a client's requests (not demands) by providing what she might not if she were having a busy day. It's difficult to decide about this aspect, but I will continue to attempt to be respectful of a dancer's limits and, in any case, I'm only really comfortable if I feel the dancer is too. Again, some will suggest that dancers can provide an Academy-Award-winning performance in these circumstances, but there comes a point where it really is up to the dancer to set the boundaries within which she operates and to be firm about her expectations of her clients' behaviour.