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Fallen in love with MPA - Advice needed

Nofah Kingway

Member
Apr 21, 2002
165
0
16
inside the palm trees
Guys, I need your help.........

I met this MPA, absolutely the sweetest girl ever, very pretty, the massage, needless to say, was perfect, sensual and erotic. We french kissed, amongst many other activities. I am definitely head over heels over her right now and I think she likes me too (let's assume that I am correct for now for the sake of this discussion). She's 26, has a young child, no boyfriend. We both suggested that we should go out for a drink sometime.

Here's the problem....... I am getting married soon and I told her, but I think we both want to have some fun. I know the right answer is to forget about her, but there's this little voice at the back of my head that tells me to take it one step further and see what happens.

Question:

1. What should I do?
2. How do I get her out of my head?

Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks.


Boritz.
 

Average Joe

Senior Member
Mar 28, 2002
363
0
0
1. What should I do?

Get married and be happy.

2. How do I get her out of my head?

Time.
 

gramage

New member
Feb 3, 2002
5,223
1
0
Toronto
Dude if you are even asking yourself this question what are you doing with your fiancee? Your obviously still looking for someone different, and not even for a fling for something serious, so what are you doing getting married?
 

gramage

New member
Feb 3, 2002
5,223
1
0
Toronto
I just don't understand having a serious relationship (marriage or what have you) and then seeing another woman seriously outside of it. going to SP's or MPA's outside of a relationship is a personal decision that I am not going to judge, but if you are willing to risk your relationship to see another woman you probably shouldn't be in that relationship.
 

wildone99

bill52
Aug 28, 2001
339
0
0
71
south niagara
Is it Love or Infatuation

Well there I think you should think with the head on your shoulders rather than the one between your legs! Yes maybe if you had met her before your commitment to your girl friend and future it would be different! You see her as a fling and who's to say what she has donewith other clients and french kissing and with STD out there and then going back to your girlfriend Second of all she has a child and baggage and say your one night fling with her becomes more than that, are you prepared to dump your future! and your true girlfriendwhich has your trust. Love is trust and understanding ,Infatuation has a element of sexual excitement you meet and hope to it will end in intimacy and might lead you to do things you will regret the rest of your life!
 

gassman

Member
Jan 20, 2002
584
0
16
need help

We all do what we do for our own reasons.....I would never judge others reasons......but........
it sounds like you do need help .....you've got bigger issues than what to do with the MP....you have to figure out what you're doing even asking this if you are planning to get married soon.....
step back and ask yourself why, if you love your betrothed, why would you even consider risking it......doesn't sound like a foundation for a loving relationship......
g-man
 

james t kirk

Well-known member
Aug 17, 2001
23,932
3,679
113
I totally agree with foxhound.

Don't get married, you obviously don't love your fiance (or at least as much as the MPA)

Who's to say you shouldn't dump your fiance and date the MPA.

If it doesn't work out, c'est la vie.

One thing's for sure, you shouldn't deceive your fiance any more. Why fuck her up?

If you were just out to MPs for the sex of it all, fine, cool, get married, but dude, you say you have fallen for this woman, i.e., you think about her more than your fiance.

Time to do a little soul searching here.
 
S

sUDS

Decide what is real and what is fantasy. Then decide what is best for you.

Time heals all wounds. Some things take longer than others but it does heal.
 
W

Willywants

Woman With Child!

Beware man!
You wouldn't be the first mark to come along in this situation and get caught in the trap!
Security is a big issue for some, repeat, some single mom's!
So far, the issue has been dealt with relative to your feelings and prior commitment!
How true do you perceive the MPA's feelings to be as far as a lasting relationship is concerned?
You had better read her real good before you screw up your life!
How honest and sincere is she? Have you even discussed your role as surrogate father to her child? Where is the father of the child and what kind of ongoing role does he play?
Better start separating the wheat from the chaffe!

Willywants (to see some real introspect here!)
 
Feb 24, 2002
555
3
18
in a bed
Albert Flasher is right. You're there to have fun, not to find a GF.

I prefer GFT (good fu*king time) over GFE any day, so have fun and stop looking for potential GF material at an MP.
Albert Flasher said:
That little voice is not in your head its in your pants.
Yeah, so next time make sure to hang up your cell phone before you put it in your pocket.
:eek:
 

iguana

New member
Mar 13, 2002
476
0
0
59
TO
next time make sure to hang up your cell phone before you put it in your pocket.
I was with a guy the other day whose cell phone called his wife (accidentally)while he was in a strip club in the states on business. A good argument for flip phones.

MPA girlfriends. I had the same predicment..sort of. I went crazy for a girl in Cuba about a year before I got married. I saw her several times, and slowly weaned myself off her to my 8 year girlfriend. She was so gorgeous that my friends were saying "She's such a trophy..just marry her and have a great life" Now married to my ex-girlfriend...man did I ever make the right decision. Just think straight and do the right thing.
 

Nofah Kingway

Member
Apr 21, 2002
165
0
16
inside the palm trees
Thanks for all the comments so far. Keep them coming, the more I read, the easier it is for me to get her out of my head.

I understand the right answer is to stay away from the MPA. If you had a similar experience, please feed me with your insight, PM me if you want. Thanks.


Boritz
 

Alanis

New member
Feb 8, 2002
115
0
0
My perspective is--it all depends whether it is right or not right to date a MPA in general.

Let's not jump into an assumption that all single mothers at MPA are hunting for some lost souls out there. Sure, some of them do, and some don't, and -in fact- would never date a massage hopper/parlor type of a guy. Preferences and stereotyping are on both sides: MPAs and hobbyists.

Nevertheless, there are sincere and compassionate people between both parties. If some spontaneity happens during erotic encounters, the trick is to find out if it could be real or not, regardless the circumstances people met in (if it's something that does not bother both of you).

When there is the third party in the picture however, e. g. girlfriend/fiancée, then it becomes a bit complicated. You need to ask yourself what the advantages or disadvantages of one situation are over the other.

More importantly, and as some mentioned here, this new scenario provides you with some insight about yourself and your current relationship with your soon-to-be bride. Maybe you could ask yourself a question why you decided to get married, do you truly love your partner and would not like her to be hurt, what does fidelity/loyalty/other mean to you, etc. I know, it is heavy stuff, but worth pondering...

Your long-term relationship is being put to the test and it is up to you if you want to pass it.

Good luck in doing what is best for you and all involved.
 

gramage

New member
Feb 3, 2002
5,223
1
0
Toronto
The only thing thathas me saying don't do it is the relationship. I would have no problem dating an MPA, whether I'd met her through that or not. It's a job, I can understand that and if I care about her I could handle it. I'm the same way with strippers, SP's I don't think I could deal with though. ACtually there is one stripper I know who I could really fall for if given the chance, she's a great person (and beautiful of course), I don't think she'd even consider meeting outside of the SC and she's never led me on to think that at all, it makes me wish I'd met her somewhere else so this wouldn't have gotten in the way.
sorry to hijack your thread there I just needed to say that.
 

zydeco

Active member
Aug 16, 2003
1,493
0
36
Two years later - I wonder if he's still involved with either of these women?
 

save me

New member
Nov 5, 2004
50
0
0
could you take dating a mpa or would you ask her to quit. an old friend of mine dated a dancer once and after a few months kept asking her to quit. if you have feelings for this woman you shouldn't get married and remember a divorce can be very expensive, follow your heart
 
It's hard

save me said:
could you take dating a mpa or would you ask her to quit. an old friend of mine dated a dancer once and after a few months kept asking her to quit. if you have feelings for this woman you shouldn't get married and remember a divorce can be very expensive, follow your heart
No matter how u slice it, it's hard. The heart may tell u to live for the moment but then reality kicks in.

I'm usually not the 'live for the moment' kind of guy but for that special someone, I may take the chance as loving relationship may endure while others could fizzle over time. Whenever kids are involved, it gets super complicated and damaging.
 
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