Toronto Escorts

a must read for all hobbyists ..."john school"

syn

"tlc"
Aug 31, 2001
917
0
0
downtown toronto
Ripped posted this on another board as a public service. Apparently its of unknown origin so we cannot credit the author.

John School

When telephoning or e-mailing

Don't call or e-mail unless you are genuinely interested. Be respectful and friendly towards her and bear in mind that this is a business transaction. Stories concerning your incredible sexual prowess and elephantine manhood are unlikely to arouse her, as she has heard them all before. Bear in mind that if she doesn't feel comfortable talking to you, she won't see you.

Check how much she charges and what services are included. There is no reason to be overly-graphic, but there is a good reason to make sure that you know what is included and she is prepared to offer the services you are looking for. NEVER haggle over charges... if her prices are too high, then there is nothing wrong with saying that her price is beyond what you had in mind, thank her for her time and then move on. Politeness costs nothing.

Making smutty telephone calls or sending pornographic e-mails is not funny or clever... it is infantile and very annoying. You will not get the response you are seeking and will have to pay the call charges as well. If you're really into this kind of thing, call one of the sex lines displayed so prominently in the tabloid press; alternatively save your money and go and buy brown paper packages from your local Porno Shop.

When speaking to an agency, remember that they are supplying an introduction only. What the girl does or doesn't do on the date is up to her. So don't ask.

Preparation before the date...

Cleanliness

Have a shower - paying particular attention to washing your private parts - and clean your teeth... the chances of your date being a willing participant in erotic games with you is directly proportional to your level of personal hygiene. She is unlikely to let you kiss her if your breath smells like Mike Tyson's jockstrap... and she will not be overly enthusiastic about you fumbling around in her expensive lingerie if your finger-nails have the contents of a bag of Irish Moss Peat underneath them.

Have a shave - not many girls class a "sanding-down" by a glass-paper fizzog as foreplay.

Put on clean underwear... even if you're not risking being knocked down by a No.76 bus, your chances of re-living scenes from Nine and a Half Weeks will be severely reduced if she discovers that your underpants look like the London Transport Skid Pan.

Money

Have the payment ready in cash, unless otherwise agreed, and counted. You have already found out how much it is going to cost, so to spare both of you any embarrassment, make sure the amount is correct and place it in an envelope or separate from the rest of your money.

Alcohol

A G&T to help with your nerves, or a brandy to make you randy is OK. Ten pints of Witches' Brew is not a good idea. Alcohol is a depressant rather than a stimulant and although you may think that it improves your staying power, it is more likely to prevent you from reaching orgasm at all... and beer breath is a turn-off.

Together at last...

Conversation

Be courteous. Offer her a drink... engage in a little chit-chat, treat her like a lady. Don't grope her the moment that she walks through the door. You may be paying for her services, but a little respect will pay dividends later...

Detailed personal questions should be a no-go area. This girl is with you under a business arrangement, so don't expect her to tell you her life history or innermost secrets... Under no circumstances ask:
What does your boyfriend think about your work?
Do your parents know about your job?
How much money do you make?
Do you pay tax?
Why don't you marry a rich man and forget about this work? etc.

These are very personal and patronising questions, so don't do it unless you are looking for a very cool performance or equally embarrassing questions in return, like:-
What does your wife do for a living?
Do your children know that you go out with escorts?
Does your boss know you're here?
Have you ever thought about going on a diet?
Has anyone ever told you that boxer shorts don't suit you?

Payment

You should already have the money ready, so at a suitable moment hand her the envelope. Don't get the money out and count it into her hand like a checkout girl at your local supermarket... and don't try the old Paul Daniels sleight-of-hand routine and try and keep one back. Don't try and be a smart arse and ask if she accepts American Express and don't try a bit of last minute bartering... it's too late.
 
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syn

"tlc"
Aug 31, 2001
917
0
0
downtown toronto
part ii

The Nitty Gritty

"No" means "NO!!". If you want something that she is unwilling to go for, even if the review says otherwise... BACK OFF!!!

Some advice from a female friend

BREATHNG TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and soothe them.

BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a doggie toy isn't.

TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES. Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

STOPPING FOR A BREAK. Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY. Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY. Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA. Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY. You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

UNDRESSING PREMATURELY. Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks first!

GOING TOO FAST. When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

GOING TOO HARD. If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

CUMMING TOO SOON. Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

NOT CUMMING SOON ENOUGH. It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.
 
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syn

"tlc"
Aug 31, 2001
917
0
0
downtown toronto
part iii

ASKING IF SHE HAS COME. You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask.

PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY. Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX. Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO. Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES. Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINT HERS. There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

ARANGING HER IN STUPID POSES. If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

At the Close of Play

Only play for overtime if you can pay for overtime. Don't expect a "quickie"... don't think that you can carry on pumping away for hours on end until you have had enough. The deal you had was based on time and you agreed it in advance.

Even if you wish her to stay for longer, bear in mind that she may have prior engagements, so be respectful of those.

Don't offer to buy her a drink, a meal, suggest going to the cinema and expect her to do so without payment. You may have got on very well, and she may genuinely like you, but business is business and she will prefer it to be kept that way.

The difference between sex for money and sex for free, is that sex for money often costs a lot less... so don't push your luck
 
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Cool Dude

Fighting Irishman
Feb 25, 2002
634
0
0
I disagree on one point. When you are contacting an agency, there are discreet ways to ask about the services that individual sps provide, always keeping in mind that ymmv.
 

Cool Dude

Fighting Irishman
Feb 25, 2002
634
0
0
Ripped said:
Sure there are discreet ways to ask but you already know they're gonna tell you that she's "openminded" so why bother? 8-þ
Not true. My lmited experience with agencies have been with Allison@Allison's Angels and Sara@Select. Both of these women responded wth truthful and accurate information; my experiences in both cases have been an A+.;)
 

spear

New member
Feb 4, 2002
16
0
0
rules of behaviour

Toronto had less rules to contend with in attempting to secure the Olympic than Syndy lays out, and look what happened there; even though I can't find fault with any single oneof hers.
But I digress. Recently I stopped into a MP. It was late. I was somewhat blitzed. I just wanted to talk about my special friend who is also an MPA with whom I'd had a ruffling in our situation. I paid for all the extras and then some, even though all we did was talk and everyone kept on their laundry. I sat in the chair. She lay on the table. I'm sure you can tell I'm a charming fellow and she evidently agreed. She was closing up and welcomed my offer to come to my place which is about 100' away. We had a drinkie-winkie or two plus a few tokes from her doob. Even though she came over as a social occassion, if you will, I stuck an equal amount in her purse. That is to say I had now given her at least 240 or 360. Like I said, I was a little buggered, but I got my moneys' worth.

I went to see her the next day, having had fond thoughts of the night before. She was making comments about FS, etc. and I thought I would go for the gold. She, who was telling me about being an escort and FS and BJ absolutely freaked, when after an appropriate while, I had the temerity to reach over with a view to touching the Kitty. It was beyond reach but it made no nevermind to her. She said she couldn't cope with this and walked out of the room, got dressed, as did I, and offered a half-back refund. I refused to take anything back. I gave no argument. Question is:"Do I need lessons?"
 

Exciter

Wickd Hotties Connoisseur
Oct 27, 2001
217
0
0
maximonline.com
ROE

After reading all those things we should and shouldn't do, it makes me wonder....what ever happened to fun, liberation and spontaneity?

Thou shalt not this, thou shalt not that....blah blah blah.
 

Jenn_angel

Banned
Jan 27, 2002
903
0
0
In Rome with the Pope
LMFAO

Sea water and egg white...

How true! LMAO...

Now... As for the rest... Man I need to post this on my new site! LMFAO...

Banknotes up a chimney was good too...

But you forgot the... Roadrunner hand... You know... The one where if you move or he slips... His nails slice the hell out of you... It HURTS!
 

Cool Dude

Fighting Irishman
Feb 25, 2002
634
0
0
Ripped said:
Unfortunately, it is true. Allison's and, apparently, Select are the exception and you just got lucky in that your "limited experience" has been with them.
Actually, luck may have had less to do with my success than listening to experienced posters who's opinions and insights steered me to these two agencies. I have heard the same recommendations for VIP and Hollywood, although I have yet to follow up with them.
 

syn

"tlc"
Aug 31, 2001
917
0
0
downtown toronto
Ripped said:
A lot of guys weren't "lucky" enough to find out about the boards 'til after they'd had a few unfortunate experiences. 8-þ
which should help them appreciate the ***** service all the more when they get it ...

syn
 

WhaWhaWha

Banned
Aug 17, 2001
5,991
1
0
Between a rock and a hard place
sexysyndy said:
John School
When telephoning or e-mailing
Don't call or e-mail unless you are genuinely interested.
Great advice. Sometimes I'm unsure I want to meet the girl based on the content of the ad and I foolishly think that calling the girl to ask questions will enable me to be more informed. How silly. Next time I wont even call - Ill just mail some cash and tell her to show when it pleases her.

Bear in mind that if she doesn't feel comfortable talking to you, she won't see you.

That's her perogative - obviously not mine though.
Check how much she charges and what services are included. There is no reason to be overly-graphic, but there is a good reason to make sure that you know what is included and she is prepared to offer the services you are looking for.

And how do I do this if Im not allowed to call unless already interested?

NEVER haggle over charges...

Right - instead of cash I'll mail a blank cheque

Have a shower - paying particular attention to washing your private parts - and clean your teeth... ... She is unlikely to let you kiss her if your breath smells like Mike Tyson's jockstrap... and she will not be overly enthusiastic about you fumbling around in her expensive lingerie if your finger-nails have the contents of a bag of Irish Moss Peat underneath them. Have a shave - not many girls class a "sanding-down" by a glass-paper fizzog as foreplay. Put on clean underwear... even if you're not risking being knocked down by a No.76 bus, your chances of re-living scenes from Nine and a Half Weeks will be severely reduced if she discovers that your underpants look like the London Transport Skid Pan.

Is this really a problem among your clientelle? or did you suddenly decide it was ok to insult the Terb community at large?
My friends dont reek of BO and shit stains or walk around with filthy hands. Where are you digging up your clients?

Have the payment ready in cash, unless otherwise agreed, and counted. You have already found out how much it is going to cost, so to spare both of you any embarrassment, make sure the amount is correct and place it in an envelope or separate from the rest of your money.

Bring a lawyer.

Offer her a drink... engage in a little chit-chat, treat her like a lady. Don't grope her the moment that she walks through the door.

no amount of extra courtesy has ever made the escort experience half as nice as an actual real date. Offers of nice wine are usually met with shrugs and grunts of, "if you say so". So I leave it out and say help yourself any time.

You may be paying for her services, but a little respect will pay dividends later...

save it for your dates

Detailed personal questions should be a no-go area. This girl is with you under a business arrangement, so don't expect her to tell you her life history or innermost secrets... Under no circumstances ask:
What does your boyfriend think about your work?
Do your parents know about your job?
How much money do you make?
Do you pay tax?
Why don't you marry a rich man and forget about this work? etc.

So they dont know enough to wipe their assses or wash their pits or hands but they are deeply concerned about you? What an honor.

These are very personal and patronising questions, so don't do it unless you are looking for a very cool performance or equally embarrassing questions in return, like:-
1. What does your wife do for a living?
2. Do your children know that you go out with escorts?
3. Does your boss know you're here?
4. Have you ever thought about going on a diet?
5. Has anyone ever told you that boxer shorts don't suit you?

1. My ex wife was a phone sex and massage girl four years ago until she was fired for incompetence. She hasnt worked more than two consecutive weeks since.
2. I dont discuss my sex life with my children.
3. I dont discuss my sex life with my coworkers and superiors
4. I like to eat what I like.
5. Once an escort asked me where I got those ridiculous things. Took me a second to realize she was pointing at the shorts

You should already have the money ready, so at a suitable moment hand her the envelope. Don't get the money out and count it into her hand like a checkout girl at your local supermarket... and don't try the old Paul Daniels sleight-of-hand routine and try and keep one back. Don't try and be a smart arse and ask if she accepts American Express and don't try a bit of last minute bartering... it's too late.

Bring your accountant too.
 

Jenn_angel

Banned
Jan 27, 2002
903
0
0
In Rome with the Pope
LMFAO

Now that was a response...

As far as the shrug... Darling... Maybe you are seeing the wrong women...

As far as the phone issue...

It is not a matter of calling... It is a matter of trying to keep the woman on the phone for extended amounts of time and calling repeatedly without booking... Hey it happens.
 

mrcheeks

CB Fan
Dec 27, 2001
1,490
196
63
I am curious if this post came about due to my own experiences.
:)
At any rate, I think a fair suggestion would be for Mr. Fred Zed or whoever else operates this board to make it a sticky note in The Lounge and possibly other sections of this board. Thanks!
 

james t kirk

Well-known member
Aug 17, 2001
23,932
3,679
113
Exciter said:
After reading all those things we should and shouldn't do, it makes me wonder....what ever happened to fun, liberation and spontaneity?

Thou shalt not this, thou shalt not that....blah blah blah.
My thoughts exactly.

Fuck it all, it's not worth the grief.

I'm so tired of male bashing every time you turn around.
 

y2kmark

Class of 69...
May 19, 2002
18,446
5,123
113
Lewiston, NY
And what's this about ...

We're obligated to make you cum?!?!? If you want to put me under that kind of obligation, you ought to pay me - of at least be willing to say just what it is going to take! :rolleyes:
 
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