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Annoying e-mails

newgirl

New member
Jan 28, 2002
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0
Good Evening!


I just wanted to ask other sp's and hobbyists for advice to a particular situation.

As an sp I always book most of my appointments by e-mail. I made an appointment with a person by e-mail. I responded with the usual info ( availablility, time, etc). Everything seemed fine until I was rather caught off guard by this individual's response. He made a request in relation to discretion. ( About not bringing a driver or boyfriend to the door with me) It was the tone of his e-mail that I found rather abrupt and would consider rude. It was more of a direct , firm,statements using words like "Do not", "He'll have to". I responded in a professional manner claiming that I am very discreet when arriving to one's home or hotel. I replied by stating that I wouldn't be meeting him because I felt that he was impolite in his e-mail. I feel as though one's writing style can sometimes reflect on one's actions or personality in person. Ladies, do you feel this way as well when reading e-mails for appointment requests?

As an sp, I am sometimes meeting people I've never met before and e-mails are something I can rely on when being selective with clientele. I try to be cautious and in way it's like how one would speak on the phone. If a person called up an escort sounding drunk or being rude, would the escort go to see him? I know I wouldn't. This is the same reaction that I use in e-mails as over the phone. He responded by being apologetic and felt he found his e-mail appropriate and said that maybe I should help him re-phrase it. ( kind of a smartass remark to me)I did not respond to his next 3 e-mails in which he was asking if I would reconsider. I still did not respond as I did not want to add fuel to the fire. I would not have gone to see him even after he apologized because what if he were to be aggressive after my e-mail in not wanting to see him or if that's what he would be like even from the get-go. Even if that wasn't the case, it would be too awkward as I felt I had already read into his personality.

Getting to the point, his e-mails stopped. I thought this situation was resolved. Checking my e-mail, I recieved an response from one of my advertisements. I responded again with the usual info. A while later, I got an auto response saying "F#$% Off". That was last night. Again this evening the same process occured. A response from my advertisements and I again responded. Again, I got the auto response "f&$^ off". Both of these e-mails were from free based internet search engine accounts. Coincidentally, the person who I refused to see has the same free e-mail based account. I am now thinking that all these e-mails are realted back to the same person considering they were all Yahoo accounts. It's easy for someone to sign up many times using other aliases. I have one ip address from one e-mail but am not sure how to check the other e-mails as I've saved the original e-mails from the person I refused to see. I want to see if it could be the same ip address.

I've never been in this situation before and have very good clients. I now have to deal with responding to what could be a legitimate e-mail or a another f8#% off auto response. The first e-mail seems legit and then I get this sort of response. Now I have to deal with not knowing if an e-mail is a legitmate response for an appointment or not. Is it just me or would you have refused to see this person because of a rude or demanding e-mail? Even if they apologized profusely? I would like to know how othe sp's deal with this sort of situation. I've never been in this situation before. Usually if I get explicit e-mails I obviously delete them. This appointment request looked to be okay but I guess not. I'm just wondering if I overreacted to the situation by not seeing him. If it is him sending bogus e-mails, then he really does have problems. I would just like to know how I can check his ip address as I have the orginal e-mails to check comparing them to the auto response e-mails. I know he may could have used another ip address but maybe he didn't. If someone could Pm me on how to do this, it would be appreciated.
Please share your thoughts if you wish.

Newgirl....
 

newgirl

New member
Jan 28, 2002
3
0
0
Hi Sheik,

There is an ip address from the auto response e-mail but not his original e-mails. Just wondering if there's anoother way to check it out.


New girl...
 

rr_bill

New member
Mar 18, 2002
320
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0
Waytoofar N. Ont.
IP addresses

Perhaps one reason you are having problems getting addresses is the way you have your e-mail preferences set up. Most systems give you the ability to select the number of headers shown on the emails, but may be set to a default of none or maybe minimal to save themselves room. With full headers there is an awful lot of info. which tracks the message from server? to server? - Server may not be the correct term but while it is pain to follow the path, all the addresses do show and include the IP of the sender.

For example in Outlook Express highlight the message in question, then > File > Properties > Details. There, in a difficult to read panel will be the full history of your messages journey but it can be expanded to amke it easier to read by selecting Message Source. At the end there is a "Received from" with the IP address shown.

Other email systems like Yahoo, Excite etc have a section where you may select Mail Preferences. Here you'd select Show all headers or Full Headers, or whatever terminology they use. e.g. Yahoo suggests brief or all, where excite gives you only the option of full headers or none. Hotmail has none, basic, full or advanced.

Once your preferences are changed even your stored messages will give back this information - it was always there but was blocked from appearing. Hope you are able to track him down and maybe even block him! (Yahoo gives you that option)
 
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