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What not to do in London when you're horny!

The Doctor

Still Without Humour
Jun 2, 2003
2,319
1
0
1060 West Addision
This is could also be a review of Stacey 19 from the London Free Press.

Well since there's a spankin' new London forum, I thought I'd contribute to it by sharing my recent adventures in the Forest City.

On my swing through southwestern Ontario I had the good fortune to visit Sarnia, Windsor, London and Kitchener. After spending a night gambling in Windsor, I was off to London for the night before returning to Toronto. As a UWO alumni, London holds a special place in my heart and I had some rather fond memories from my last visit. Unbeknownst to me, I apparently used up all my luck in the Windsor Casino the night before and was about to hit a dry spell that would leave me shaking my head and wondering if maybe my memories of London, not unlike my sporting prowess, have become exagerated over time.

I should have know this would be a memorable trip for all the wrong reasons when the first blow came before I even left Toronto. I had been planning for some time to visit with Selina upon my next trip to London but having delayed my visit so much, Selina was in the process of relocating herself to Toronto by that point. Not a major problem as I can now plan my visit with Selina for a more convenient time. Although many might laugh, my back-up plan was beers and strippers with Goober, but even he bailed on me. Note: Goober's Mom was available, but she was only doing incalls and I find the smell in the stables at the London Fair Grounds to be a little overwhelming.

So I was left to sort through the outstanding collection of ladies/students available on Ontario-Erotica.com. Sadly Justine, Bailey, Pauline, Paris and Tori were unavailable...don't know about Tori's friend though, since I never actually spoke with Tori. Not to be detered by my continuing dry spell, I walked across the street and picked up the London Free Press and with renewed determination, I began to comb the ads. I was less than impressed with what was available and I decided I'd make one attempt to contact the ad "Stacey 19 is back." and then call it a night. Things were looking up when a perky voice responded on the phone saying she was Stacey and that she could be in my room in 20 minutes...I said 30 would be fine and it was a date. Looking back, the call should have raised some red flags.

However, I was distracted knowing that I had 30 minutes to execute my 45 minute pre-date routine i.e. shower, shave (more on that later) order some appropriate refreshments, so I hurried to prepare. 90 minutes later I was still sitting alone and had finished most of the snacks I had ordered, finished the beers from the bar fridge and the bottle of red I ordered was looking appetizing as well, and yet no sign of Stacey. I was getting concerned, not that I'd been stood up, but that I had a conference call scheduled for 10:00 pm EST with colleagues of mine who are based on the west coast. I prepared my materials for the conference call, opened the wine, poured myself a glass and my phone rang as expected at 10:00...unfortunately it was not my colleagues, but Stacey.

She informed me that she'd spent the last 10 minutes banging on my door and wondering why I wouldn't answer. I informed her that I'd been sitting waiting for her for almost 2 hrs. and would have aswered had she been knocking on the correct door. She was quite upset to learn that she was knocking on the room 7 doors down and was getting quite vocal on the lobby phone. I asked her to my room to settle things as I was considering bailing on my conference call if she turned out to be really hot.

When she arrived at my door she was wearing just jeans and a t-shits carrying a cell phone. She stunk of smoke and immediately started explaining that it wasn't her fault and that she easn't even supposed to work that day (I was about to find out what she was "back" from). I knew instantly that this was not the girl I had spoken to on the phone and decided I would send her away with cab fare. She then proceeds to tell me this incredible story about how she was on holidays for the last couple of days recovering from surgery. She then completely grossed me out by pulling aside the low cut coller on her t-shirt to reveal the undressed scar on her upper chest where "they" had recently removed a cancerous growth. Although she threatened that her boss would have to come up to discuss this with me, I was not going to change my mind. She disappeared with $20 for cab fare and never heard from her boss.

You would thingk that after that I'd be willing to cut my losses but after my conference call, I decided to venture out to the Beef Baron, the scene of many previous escapades, and see if I could salvage the night. Well I was wrong again.

All I can ask at this point is what has happened to the adult scene in London since I was last there, when an incall with Goober's Mom is my best option? :confused:
 

Goober Mcfly

Retired. -ish
Oct 26, 2001
10,125
11
38
NE
The Doctor said:
When she arrived at my door she was wearing just jeans and a t-shits carrying a cell phone.
This should have tipped you off, Doc.

As for my "bailing" on you, hey, when the goats need shaving, the goats need shaving, capiche?

Don't ask.

I should add that we did do lunch and I did offer to pay.*

*sticks out tongue at Sheik and Meesh and thunder0702*










*After offering to pay and Doc accepting, I proceeded into my "left my wallet in the other pants" routine. I find it odd that The Doctor accepted this excuse as I wasn't wearing pants at the time. Again, don't ask.
 

The Doctor

Still Without Humour
Jun 2, 2003
2,319
1
0
1060 West Addision
There's been some bad spelling going on in this London forum. Is it somehow haunted by the ghost of Fang?

As far as you not wearing pants, I think I made it clear that it was a rather bizzare trip in general. I quickly reached for my wallet because the sight of you fumbling for your wallet "in your back pocket" :eek: was starting to gross me out.

Next time wear some pants and bring your wallet or I'm sending some co-workers to come and collect in person.
 

selinais4u

New member
Mar 7, 2004
140
0
0
retired
I am so sorry Doctor that I couldnt be there for you (selina is upset the doc had such a bad night- kisses)
 

LTO_3

Well-known member
Aug 27, 2004
840
561
93
Niagara Region
Sorry the Doctor had such a dismal adventure in London but using the paper as an option is more of a miss than a hit.
Of all the ladies listed in the paper I would recommend only one and that would be Cynthia but her price is a bit high now (at least for my liking).

As for the Stacey, she has had a less than great reviews on another board.

But look on the bright side. Selina can brighten up your day when you see her.

LTO_3
 

wrong hole

huh...
May 4, 2003
4,891
0
0
25 malbury lane
Doctor

Can you write a review of how you and goober streaked across the UWO campus naked while ocasionally kissing each other gently
 

The Doctor

Still Without Humour
Jun 2, 2003
2,319
1
0
1060 West Addision
For someone with a no review policy, Goober isn't that discrete. He promised me no one would see us even though it was 2:00 pm on a Thursday afternoon.
 

wrong hole

huh...
May 4, 2003
4,891
0
0
25 malbury lane
The Doctor said:
For someone with a no review policy, Goober isn't that discrete. He promised me no one would see us even though it was 2:00 pm on a Thursday afternoon.

Did you play goober's rusty trombone?
 

The Doctor

Still Without Humour
Jun 2, 2003
2,319
1
0
1060 West Addision
Fang:Trying to get the bid up to five beers. :D

wh: Uh, I'd say it looked like it was more of a Piccolo, but I was never in the band at school.
 
hey hun!!
next time you are in london, i have some fabulous girls that work with me that i would be more than happy to recommend..

Have you ever been to our parlours....nothing like TO and we have some seriously fun chicks!!!

cheers
vanessa
 
boo that!!!
ask anyone that spends time in london if i am real or fake!!!
thanks, that was not very nice!!! tehe!!
this is not goober, my word!!!!
nor his mother, although i did pose as someone's grammy once!!!
lol
 

The Doctor

Still Without Humour
Jun 2, 2003
2,319
1
0
1060 West Addision
Goober...deny, deny, deny. And stop sending me those picks of your Mom and Fang, claiming they are shots form a website. It's not a website I care to visit. It's only compounding my bad memories of London. :(








Ness, thanks for your note. Can't wait to see the real website.

*wink*
 
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