blopar said:
But, does it also have the tendency (obviously, there will be many exceptions) to create:
(a) unrealistic expectations in attitude/performance/behaviour of one's partner; and,
(b) emotional or sexual detachment from one's partner?
Although far from convinced that I have permanently thwarted my demons, it has now been well over a month since my last visit to a mp. Not only do I take tremendous solice from the knowledge of this personal milestone, I also feel confident that I can extend my streak well into the foreseeable future if not beyond.
This discussion is quite timely for me in my quest to re-right my social life. Not only has the hobby served as a false-security blanket for my feelings of sexual dissatification from the SO's in my life, but my strong sense is that it both created and perpetuated a giant wedge between myself and my SO. Perhaps many of you can detach yourselves from the hobby and have no trouble reconciling your emotions and your conscience. Oddly enough, given that I am actually a little bit of a cold-hearted bastard, (but in a very fair minded way) I for one haven't really be able to successfully draw the line mentally between the hobby and my real social life. It has been a real awakening for me personally ever since I've made the committment to end my participation because what it has taught me to do is focus ALL my energies on potential real world SOs and just dating in general. In as much of a non-judgemental way as tolerable given that I'm basically slighting each and every member of this forum, (included my former self) I've found my life to be far more fullfilling without the "artificial flavours" that accompany the pay-for-sex industry. Notwithstanding I can fully appreciate that a serious relationship or marriage can very easily lack the sexual gratification and intensity that we as virile men seek and require at which point the hobby is probably a more acceptable (morally) outlet for our primordial desires than the alternatives of divorce or adultery with a non-mpa/sp. It is my sincerest hope that I will one day soon arrive at that point in my life where I can keep any such desires at bay permanently. It is indeed a fascinating study in the evolution of male/female relationships as I believe we are still very conditioned as males to need multiple sexual partners while society has essentially chastised the concept.
In sum, I suggest to all that the hobby not only worsens a fellow's sexual prowess with a SO, it can actually be quite destructive.