I'm surprised to see it does happen sometimes. Myself, I just wouldn't have the time. As it is, I get enough e-mail and phone calls from guys who are "new" (or so they say -- sometimes they seem awfully knowledgeable!). I always figured most were "tire kickers" -- guys who were just looking for some entertainment, but who weren't willing to go all the way. Goodness knows, it's a common human trait. You have no idea how many people have backed me into corners at parties to bore me with a 20-minute story of the time they ALMOST made a skydive! For some people, "almost" is as much excitement as they can bear ... or afford.
Barbara, for me, if someone makes an appointment and it's obvious that they're either just too nervous to go through with it, or for whatever reason, I'm not what they expected, then I have no problem with calling the whole thing off, with neither of us having wasted anything more than our time. I don't charge a cancellation fee, and so I don't see a need to meet ahead. It's more of a risk and liability to me than a benefit.
One huge concern I'd have about meeting in a public place for coffee or drinks, however, is it might be a violation of the Criminal Code if specific services were discussed. A friend of mine got taken down this way once! A "client" asked her to meet him in the bar downstairs instead of coming up to his room. Next thing you know, she's in handcuffs. I suppose the opposite could happen just as easily to a customer -- it serves to read and understand the Criminal Code.
..c..