Toronto Escorts

Having a conscience – good or bad?

johnclark123

New member
May 29, 2006
5
0
1
It's not been that long since I joined this forum. I read both the opinions of those using various services and those that provide them. Both are equally interesting and are very educating to someone like me who has been in the dark for so long.

I have a question though, for both groups of people, does anyone ever have any remorse or guilt for doing what they did / do? And is it easy to keep what you’ve done / do from others that are close to you?

I have yet to bring myself to try for I am married but have been seeking alternative means due to the lack of attention being given. One problem for me is that I’m not one to be able to hide any secrets for my spouse. Having a guilty conscience is usually too much for me. But is it really cheating if you visit a MP and are pampered like you deserve to be? What do you think?

After all some people think it's a vital service that needs to be provided and that society has wrongfully conditioned us to believe it's a shameful conduct. In Asia it has long been accepted without any thought but Western society has never been so open minded. In fact in Japan it’s said that if you are not serviced regularly that you can not work as efficiently.

What do you think?
 

Trish_a

New member
Apr 7, 2006
70
0
0
Ottawa
www.fbsmtrish.com
Me

johnclark123 said:
I have a question though, for both groups of people, does anyone ever have any remorse or guilt for doing what they did / do? And is it easy to keep what you’ve done / do from others that are close to you?


After all some people think it's a vital service that needs to be provided and that society has wrongfully conditioned us to believe it's a shameful conduct. What do you think?
If we we're all to follow societies rules of conduct, how would anybody stand out from the rest?
We all have our own standards and morales that we hold by.
Personnally, I enjoy what I do. How else would I be able to make my patrons fully happy and satisfied?
It's clear that any provider/client who feels guilty or remorseful should with hold themselves from the activity. No one should go against their morales. As for myself I'm just out having fun and enjoying life to the fullest!
 

axiomatic

New member
Sep 7, 2003
88
0
0
Ottawa
johnclark123 said:
It's not been that long since I joined this forum. I read both the opinions of those using various services and those that provide them. Both are equally interesting and are very educating to someone like me who has been in the dark for so long.

I have a question though, for both groups of people, does anyone ever have any remorse or guilt for doing what they did / do? And is it easy to keep what you’ve done / do from others that are close to you?

I have yet to bring myself to try for I am married but have been seeking alternative means due to the lack of attention being given. One problem for me is that I’m not one to be able to hide any secrets for my spouse. Having a guilty conscience is usually too much for me. But is it really cheating if you visit a MP and are pampered like you deserve to be? What do you think?

After all some people think it's a vital service that needs to be provided and that society has wrongfully conditioned us to believe it's a shameful conduct. In Asia it has long been accepted without any thought but Western society has never been so open minded. In fact in Japan it’s said that if you are not serviced regularly that you can not work as efficiently.

What do you think?
You should have your eyes open and not be kidding yourself. There are lots of people who will use the following non-logic:

1. I want to do X.
2. I'm basically a good person, so,
3. X is basically ok.

This is for people who want to kid themselves. Myself, I do some pretty bad stuff, which makes me basically a bad person. I have the option to change, nobody's got a gun to my head.

The classic answer to "Is it really wrong for me to do X?" is "Would you want X done to you?" If your wife cheated, how would you feel?

Think long and hard about what it would be like to sit wifey down and tell her why she has sores and how there's no cure for the disease.

And that's if it all goes wrong. What if it all goes right? A lot of guys don't think this one through. What if what you find in that room is perfect for you? It can't end well. Think it through.

Stay home. Retire rich.

You asked for thoughts, those are mine. Others may disagree. Up to you.
 

YellowBelkin

New member
Apr 5, 2006
7
0
0
I don't think it has anything to do with society. It's a persoanly choice and you only know how you feel about it and how you will feel when you look at your wife after. Relationships are not easy, but doing this won't make it easier.
 

twizzler2

Not Just Candy Anymore
Sep 17, 2005
734
0
0
here is the short version of my answer to this question

I think you have to look at questions like this from a certain perspective (ideally several) in order to get to the root of how you feel about them.

With something like this you have an instant response, it either falls in the "GOOD" camp or the "BAD" camp. now, assuming this falls in the " I think it is BAD" camp, ask yourself why. Where did you learn that it was bad ? What is it that makes it bad ? Ask yourself these question like you where answering an alien who knew nothing about our society or religion or laws. Explain to yourself in as much detail as possible the reasons why it's bad. Where you don't know the answers, research, find out where these notians came from.

When you're done with that, ask yourself do those reasons make sense to you ? Asking yourself how you would feel if your wife made the same choices is a good measuring stick. If you don't get the same answer that you get when deciding if it's okay to make the choice for yourself, you're probably not done soul searching yet.

Once you've got your answer then you have to look at the consequences of making the choice. Strongly consider discussing your choice and reasons with your wife. If this is not possible you probably have more potential consequences to consider.

Ultimately it will come down to a risk/benefit choice. You can reduce some of the risks by being open with your wife about it (ie she won't be surpised to find to later ) Even if you don't do that, you still have a set of risks on one side of the equation and a set of benefits on the other. You have to answer that question for yourself.


Hope that helps,

Twiz
 

ottawasub

New member
Mar 20, 2005
795
0
0
Usually when a guy goes through this "inner debate" about whether to start hobbying, he`s already made up his mind that he will and he`s just trying to justify it to himself. Just remember that the reasoning that you use to convince yourself may not sound so rational to your SO.

It`s easy for me to preach because I`m not married, but if you are married and you`ve decided to hobby, take every precaution to make sure you`re not putting your wife at any risk.

Remember this guy?
 

johnclark123

New member
May 29, 2006
5
0
1
Thank you all

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. It’s being appreciated. Axiomatic & YellowBelkin thank you for the frank words. Ottawasub thanks for the advice and the link for more information. Trish_a thank you for the perspective from the other person who would be involved.

Twizzler2 thank you as well, as I am going to continue to look at it from as many perspectives as I can. What I was getting at is how we are labeled as doing bad acts for something that is clearly not, under certain circumstances.

If you are single, then you have no moral commitments to anyone and it shouldn’t be considered a bad thing if you want to be pampered by someone else who is willing to do it for a price. You’ll spend more money trying to pick up a one night stand and get a lot less satisfaction.

Amsterdam’s red light district would be the ideal set-up for any major city but we would have to convince the powers that be that it’s better to control it than to ignore it or try and make it go away. Society in Europe is a little more open minded than here in Canada when it comes to sexuality and I’m hoping that sooner rather than latter we to will start to open our minds. (I know good luck)

As for my moral dilemma, it’s true if it were on the other shoe I would be wondering why she did it. Of course I would be upset because the fact is that I try day in and day out for some form of pleasure from my SO, while she could care less. I do it in various ways from being sensual, dropping hints, creating a little foreplay, being blunt and so on.

If I were ignoring her on such a continual basis, then I would not blame her for seeking a little pleasure else where. I personally wouldn’t be seeking anything other than a little rub at a MP and would hope that she wouldn’t do more than that herself.

We discussed last night trying out a swingers group but she won’t commit herself to do it as she thinks that we should be the only ones for each other. I thought that this conversation would have been a big hint to her that I am unsatisfied with the way things are between us but she doesn’t seem to be picking up the hints. (Just a FYI, my SO and I get along with each other very well and rarely ever fight over anything, it’s just that our love life is dead and she wants to leave it like it is.)

But I guess it comes down to “risk/benefit choice” factor. I just thing that in society we should ideally being more open minded to those like me that are addicted to certain pleasures in life. Is it too demanding to get a little satisfaction once every 2 days or at least once a week?

Thanks everyone for you opinions and keep them coming because I’m willing to bet that there’s a lot more people reading this that are going through the same thing.
 

mav256

New member
Aug 17, 2005
255
0
0
axiomatic said:
Think long and hard about what it would be like to sit wifey down and tell her why she has sores and how there's no cure for the disease.
Don't be scared by middle age thinking like this. Use protection and you won't have to have this conversation.
 

trichome

New member
Feb 2, 2006
163
0
0
johnclark123 said:
If I were ignoring her on such a continual basis, then I would not blame her for seeking a little pleasure else where. I personally wouldn’t be seeking anything other than a little rub at a MP and would hope that she wouldn’t do more than that herself.
(Just a FYI, my SO and I get along with each other very well and rarely ever fight over anything, it’s just that our love life is dead and she wants to leave it like it is.)
This all sounds very familiar too me as I'm sure it does to a lot of middle aged, married board members. Passion wanes sometimes, even when compatability seems to continue on all of the other fronts. You either live with it or decide to fulfill your needs in the safest way possible. If you are going to be overwhelmed by grief and remorse and feel compelled to confess, then don't do it. I personally don't consider going to an MP to be cheating. I am relieving stress and the release is part and parcel of the overall massage. Years ago, women would actually see their doctors for a pelvic massage to alleviate stress and hysteria. Was that cheating?
For my occasional visits to SPs (usually in Holland and fairly infrequently) yes, I guess I would have to consider that cheating because sexual intercourse takes place. Still, it is a lot less dangerous to one's marriage than having an affair with someone from the office and all of the baggage that entails. Sure you can develop friendships with MAs and SPs but the chances of that evolving into anything serious is quite remote. It is a business transaction after all even though it is a damned pleasant one.
In the end, you have to be comfortable with your choices and no one else can know what is right for you. Whatever you choose, remember to keep the health and safety of your SO in mind at all times.
 

wilbur

Active member
Jan 19, 2004
2,079
0
36
Go to a marriage counsellor. If you don't resolve this, you'll get farther and farther apart. Eventually, either of you are going to find somebody else and you'll wind up getting a divorce.

You have been dropping hints, but not asked her directly. Asking tactfully what the problem is, the first step. What have you got to lose? Because if you go ahead and go to a MP and get a release only to have to tell her what you've done because of your conscience, you're going to really have a problem on your hands.

The reason could be a lot of things, and those could be resolved through counselling. It could even be medical.

I don't think it's a sin to get some affection through a massage. It doesn't have to finish in a release. Some say that massage is affection from a paid person. The massage threrapist/attendant is supposed to have your well-being at heart. A good massage therapist/attendant will have you leaving with a buzz, and that's without sexual release.

Wilbur
 

dickydee292004

New member
Oct 14, 2004
70
0
0
I dont think its a bad thing, but I am single, I am only responsible for myself and any consequences would directly affect me. Is it a bad thing you ask? My opinion is it sure is if your married. If it wasnt then why cant or wouldnt you tell her that you are either thinking of doing this or that your not happy with your relationship. You probably wont or dont do this because you lack courage and respect for your wife. Those that are married that are already going behind the backs of their wives are probably the same government jerkoffs that I work with on a daily basis. Take responsibility for your choices in life buddy, you chose to get married so suck it up and fix the problem. Otherwise get divorced and go nuts, until then I shall remain single and be responsible for me.
 

Jabba

Indy reviewer
May 15, 2003
1,542
186
63
Ottawa
Welcome to the club

johnclark123 said:
Thank you everyone for your thoughts. It’s being appreciated. .....

If you are single, then you have no moral commitments to anyone and it shouldn’t be considered a bad thing if you want to be pampered by someone else who is willing to do it for a price. .....

Amsterdam’s red light district would be the ideal set-up for any major city ....

As for my moral dilemma, it’s true if it were on the other shoe I would be wondering why she did it. .....

If I were ignoring her on such a continual basis, then I would not blame her for seeking a little pleasure else where. ....

We discussed last night trying out a swingers group but she won’t commit herself to do it as she thinks that we should be the only ones for each other. .....

But I guess it comes down to “risk/benefit choice” factor. ......

Thanks everyone for you opinions and keep them coming because I’m willing to bet that there’s a lot more people reading this that are going through the same thing.
Well John, if you pardon the metaphor, you are now on the stage & have to either shit noisily onstage or continue to perform in a play. You're at a transition in your marriage. Your SO knows it, but she wants it both ways. Sucks to be you if you want her to take responsibility for your feelings. You're comfortable in this anonymous forum but somewhat less so in sharing what you're really questioning with the person who promised to keep you company through your life. I'm not throwing rocks, 'cuz I know what you're going through and I think every mature guy who posts here is on the same wavelength.

If you decide to go through with it, let me assure you that the thrill can be addictive. You will feel a range of feelings - guilt, etc. Do not go through with it if you feel you can't bear the independance.

A word of advice: DO NOT SHARE THIS WITH YOUR SO!!! EVER!!!!
My two cents - don't do it until you're older.
 

Athena06

Oppaa!
Jan 23, 2006
155
0
0
ontario
OH c'mon

Are you guys serious?No really?WTF are you doing posting stuff like this,hell if you really feel that bad,then dont go!Cheating is like,if you fall in love(real love not moment of the heat)then its a totally different story.After a while in marriage things change,like when you start to expand your family,the hormones kick in ,no pussy for 1yr etc...or you/spouse changes,hey shit happens what can you do!Now in this case,ok,go ahead do your business as longs as you dont BRING anything home.If you are in love with a sp/ma,and she is too with you and your still with your SO,then yes you are cheating.Going to mp/mpa/sp/escorts/is taking care of business,no one knows,no one is hurt.But this all depends on you,can YOU go throught this?Can you keep this to the grave?When you and your SO are having a really fantastic time and she looks at you in eyes says:I love you,can you look back and say yes i do love you and thats it,or you look at her and wanna cry because of all those things you did?The moment you step in to the other( world)think about it,cause once you do,you cannot say one word or you will totally homewreck your family and be forever hated by your son/daughter/in laws/and wife.Ofcourse unless your SO is open about it,thats a different story.Well thats all from me:)
 

johnclark123

New member
May 29, 2006
5
0
1
With Thanks To All

Truth is after reading everyone comments over the last week I decided to speak to my SO last night. Not about going to an MP but about my need for more loving attention, whether or not it’s just a hug or a kiss or a massage. At the moment it’s all one way, me trying with her. In our relationship there is no more intimacy because she always cuts it off. When the deed is done it’s just for my sake, even though I always try to set-up the romantic mood for her days ahead of time. Being spontaneous always gets me a no.

There are issues that have to be dealt with and maybe I am going through a midlife crisis, seeking some adventure. Before I married and had children, I visited over 30 countries and lived in one for a couple of year, living and traveling in Asia is so much cheaper!

My work will actually pay for counseling and she has agreed to go with me. The irony is since our conversation last night we’ve actually had more action in our relationship than the last 3 months! I will still see someone as I do not want it to be temporary.

As for going to a MP for some comfort I think there is nothing wrong with it, as I wouldn’t be going there to fall in love and do not expect someone there to fall in love with me. I have great respect for the people that work at MPs because for each individual they comfort they are giving up a piece of themselves and it takes a lot to do that day in and day out.

My conscience is clear because I have done nothing to betray my SO, and I think that going to a MP would not change this. What’s the difference between self gratification and having someone who you will never see outside of the establishment, help you? Then again I haven’t going through with it, yet, but I’m hoping that things will continue to improve with my SO so that I won’t have the desire to go.

Thank you all again for your opinion because a lot of people can simply read this thread and ignore it but it’s helped a great deal
John
 

Athena06

Oppaa!
Jan 23, 2006
155
0
0
ontario
Its occured to me

You JohnClark123 sign on May of this year correct?How is it possible that you were able to go to mps/ma/sp etc..after all this time then come here and ask us our opinion?Sometime does not make sense.Are you by any chance
Mark Macsill/JustRelaxing/or JustViewing?So all of a sudden you discovered this site all in may 2006?ummmm???.....:confused:It would more sense if you posted a review or something,but you choose an opinion....Strange....
 

johnclark123

New member
May 29, 2006
5
0
1
Fyi

:confused: I am neither of these / this person. Mark Macsill/JustRelaxing/or JustViewing but I am sorry that the professionals in the MPs are having difficulty with this person as per other posting in TERBand I wouldn't wish him on anyone.

I have yet to bring myself to try for I am married but have been seeking alternative means due to the lack of attention being given.
The very first thing I said when I created this thread, 3rd paragraph, is that I have yet to try a MP. Therefore I would not have an opinion of having tried them or having been to them but ideologically I can offer my view point on what I think or feel of them. Just as law makers / religous leaders are doing currently without ever having experienced them as well.

After reading through TERB’s various posting by many people I am trying to educate myself about the industry so that I can better form my opinion. As for finding the website suddenly, yes it is possible. You do any search on the internet and you come across whatever you are looking for. I was looking for opinions / rating of MPs and came across TERB literally by accident, I can’t remember if it was through someone else’s website or directly from doing a web search. I also found another forum at www g t e r b com as well.

If these questions are making you uncomfortable, then I apologize. But I do mean it when I say I respect yours and everyone else’s opinion and view points because I like to keep an open mind. A closed mind can lead to a dead mind. But that’s just my opinion.
 
Last edited:

pau2lo

New member
Feb 1, 2006
173
1
0
What if.......

Athena06 said:
The moment you step in to the other( world)think about it,cause once you do,you cannot say one word or you will totally homewreck your family and be forever hated by your son/daughter/in laws/and wife.Ofcourse unless your SO is open about it,thats a different story.Well thats all from me:)
Not that this is a laughing matter, Greek Goddess et al, but your posts reminded me of a joke.......................

"On their wedding night, the young bride
approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first
lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made
love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a
cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was
surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.

During the next few minutes, he explained that
his employer was going through a process of corporate
downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they
were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million.

Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued
by the bank which were worth over $2 million,
and informed him that they were one of the largest
depositors in the bank.

She explained that for the more than three decades she had
"charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied
and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments
worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,
"If I'd had any idea what you were doing,
I would have given you all my business!"

That's when she shot him."
 

Svend

New member
Feb 10, 2005
4,426
4
0
John, you're one of the lucky ones since you can discuss this with your SO and you listen to each other. You seem to appreciate what you have invested in this relationship, hang in there and try to come up with something you both can agree upon.
Having a conscience is always good.
 
Toronto Escorts